THE NO CONTACT CHALLENGE, Part 2

[DonDraper32]

Day 3

 

I went to lunch with my parents yesterday and told them everything about her calling me 58 times on St. Patrick's Day (but left out the part about me driving to see her, only to be dumped again). When my dad asked if I still wanted to be with her, I almost started crying, because I do, but I know how pathetic that makes me sound.

 

I went out last night with friends and had an alright time and still thought about her, even as I was talking to other girls. I woke up this morning hungover, missing her, but thought to myself "would I rather have our old relationship back or not care and move on?" I'd rather not care and move on. I was pretty unhappy and anxious while we were together, but moving on seemed unfathomable (and still does). It's a process, but I have to start it sometime and this is it.

 

I still worry that she'll forget about me or is sleeping with or talking to other guys. I have to accept that all of that is out of my control and all I can do is worry about what I do. It's hard to do, but I trust that it's part of the process.

 

Going out again tonight. Not expecting much to change, but hopefully it's a good time.

[star554]

Day 1 (completed)

 

I accept this challenge!

 

Overall, a pretty okay first day (there were moments of tears but hoping this helps).

 

Spent time with family without any mention of him. Although did stalk his facebook profile a few times during the day (does that count?) And checked my phone expecting to get a message from him (didn't, which is good...).

 

Trying to keep busy. I was on the internet a few minutes ago and came accross a sale on Brioni ties and impulsively thought (and still am) about buying him one as a gift (while I'm already on such a tight budget)... WHY!? Why am I still thinking of ways to make him happy...

 

It's like I know that this guy just does NOT care for me and I know for sure that in order to have any attempt at being truly happy and content with my life I need to move forward and fast. But at the same time, I'm thinking of ways to get back together with this JERK >.<. what is wrong with me i keep telling myself to not expect a magical change in his horrid behaviour. no matter deserve soo much better just wish believed it.>

 

Good night.

[jemoeder]

Speaking from expereince : NC helps but being on ena too much doenst. Im not in NC anymore after 50 days. I am ok and were trying to work things out.

 

NC helps you heal, that i can guarantee. However, if you want to make anything work a second time around NC will not help. Communication is key for any good relationship.

[Firesite]

Day 37

 

I have been seeing many different women this week and I like the attention they are giving me. I have made out with two of the women I have seen but, I really don't want a relationship with anyone. After one of the women left all I could think about was how they were nothing compared to my ex and I know im putting her on a pedestal but I don't feel anything between us. This has defiantly been the BEST week since the breakup, I have partied almost every night and been on dates. But at the end of the day I still feel miserable. I guess it's just me getting use to being single and being around different women.

[zentoCC]

Day 8

 

Was neither sad nor happy yesterday, can't really go out because of the snow. Been trying to keep myself busy though. Been dreaming of myself actually standing up to him, doubt it'll actually happen now, the thought of never seeing him again is odd.

[disme724]

today all day and night been thinking about her and what shes doing...

even when im busy still think about her this sux but im on my 4th day no contact.

i wish i was in a condition to move to another city far away i think just the distance and a new place and new life would make its easy and a lot better.

im still hurt from hearing this words all the time "my heart is with you, but my mind is not" and " im ready to move on" hurt and i wanna cry sometime but if i cry ill cry for an hr so i keep it in hoping it will go away, did she had someone else lined up? i thinks she had because how can someone be so sure and it seems like she was waiting for the right moment to finish things.

 

today was the hardest for me.

[star554]

Day 2

 

Another tough day, it's been hard not looking him up on facebook still. Actually had weak moment a few seconds ago and looked at my phone until the thought of calling passed away. It's not easy but it most certainly isn't worth it. Hoping this first week will get easier.

 

So far so good. Just gotta keep reminding myself to hang in there.

[DonDraper32]

Day 4

 

Had a good night out last night, but was still thinking about her a lot. I wasn't hurting, because the alcohol and adderall i took helped, but when I woke up in the morning the pain was back.

 

I talked to some friends who have been through bad breakups before last night, and their advice was only time can heal me. It's nothing I didn't already know, but it's good to know other people have been through it and it worked for them.

 

The past two days I've found myself angry, but today I was missing her. My biggest problem right now is convincing myself I don't want her back, even though deep down I do. Our relationship wasn't healthy and I wasn't happy during it, but for some reason- probably wrong ones- I still want her.

 

I found myself checking my phone today, wondering if/when she'll break NC. We usually don't make it to Day 4, but after seeing her this week, it was clear her feelings have all but vanished. That's a tough pill to swallow, but I'm hoping it makes for a more natural healing process.

[janeyrose]

Day 2 of NC

 

it's been a month since the break up. in that one month, there was a series of one week NCs and breaking it. and another week of NC. but now, i am determine to go through one month of NC. i still miss my ex so much.i still love him...but he doesnt want to talk unless we're both over the relationship...i hope i can do this! wish me luck!

[Poisonheart]

Day 14

 

Time is moving rather slowly. I'm having a hard time trying to figure out if I'm okay or not. I've been wondering what he's been doing, and if he's been thinking about me?

[zentoCC]

Day 9

 

Not used to feeling this lonely, haven't felt like this in a while, ended up thinking about all the times I didn't stand up for myself and was imagining myself doing so. It's a little to late now guess ill just have to do it in my next relationship. Iif I ever meet anyone.

[pj7]

DAY 1. I don't understand how to not be a part of someone life who you care so much for. I just want to be the one who makes him happy!

[DonDraper32]

Day 5

 

Having a tough one. Starting to feel like she's forgotten about me. Now that I reflect on our relationship, it's clear that her feelings started to die earlier than I thought. All of the signs were there, I just didn't want to admit it.

 

I miss her, but don't want our old relationship back. I want to move on and am committed to NC, but don't know what else to do. Keep hoping she'll text me, even though I told her I wouldn't respond.

 

I know that this is all a part of the process. I just wish it was easier.

[icantsay]

So good to see everyone's process during NC. Stay strong!!!

 

Well, i realized i have stopped counting the days. Let's see - it must be around 23/24 days? I'm not sure, will count later.

 

Anyway, I'm doing well! I still think of him from time to time, but I definitely don't want to get back together.

I do kinda want him to contact me..... because then i could have the sweet moment of rejecting him. I know it's a bit evil, but it would just feel sooo goood.

 

Anyway, I'm happy! and i don't want him back! i have realized how incompatible we were together.

[star554]

Day 3 (messed up)

 

Well, I did have contact with him today. I regret it though. He messaged me on facebook; I didn't respond. A few hours later, he called and I answered. He said he wanted to check up on me that I was doing fine or not. And well, I said yes I'm fine and that's all. We hung up in a few seconds. Soon after, he messaged me saying "Since when have you been so awkward?" It's then that I realized that this ignoring thing may not work even though he's just "fwb" in his mind and that I should just tell him the truth honestly. So I called back and had an actual friendly conversation with him -- the topic of us didn't really come up and I didn't bring it up. I liked talking to him. Although, now that I think about it, I probably gave him the satisfaction he wanted (to make sure he still has me). -.- In short, I wish I never picked up that call. Ah well, back to the beginning of NC I suppose. It could've been worse: I could have grovelled lol.

[zentoCC]

Day 1 again

 

He text me to see why I'd blocked him on Facebook, I stupidly text back saying it was for the best. He then text back saying I'd made things worse I didn't reply in fact I deleted it. I don't have his number so I can't be tempted to reply now. I spoke to friend and started a thread on ena about it I was quite panicked they both told me to ignore it and my friend td me why I shouldn't go back to him.

 

I know I shouldn't but it makes it easier when someone reminds you why, she's an amazing friend.

[DelmoreSkag]

Day 1

I previously reached 48 hours with no contact, but I contacted her today.

 

I had dreams about being back together with her which started off the day on the wrong foot. This led me to contacting her in order to meet with her to get some closure. She has been closed off since the break up and we haven't discussed it at all.

 

She ignored me and didn't reply to my request to meet up, which made me angry as we had both been friendly, civil and accommodating up until this point (though I realize it was unhealthy).

 

I have tickets to a concert with her one month away. I hope to heal over the next few weeks and hope to be able to go to the concert with her without it having a negative impact on my healing.

 

My heart wants her back desperately, but my brain has come to the realization that she is immature and a relationship with her at this time would be unhealthy. I hope to be friends with her after I heal.

 

I seem to be doing better than a lot of people this early on, which is strange considering she is my first love and this is my first break up and my feelings for her are/were INTENSE and I've held them for over 5 years.

[Ne Moe]

Day 5 - Doing ok today. Last night I felt a bit shaky but I still knew I wouldn't contact him. We've said all that needs to be said. Unless he changes his mind, I can't be around him right now without feeling hurt.

 

I do wonder if he's missing contact with me. But I'm not about to ask!

[swans]

My day counter app says it's day 73 of BU and NC

I don't have any urge to contact him. Don't have anything to say. Still miss him, still love him, but I'm proud of coming so far

[DonDraper32]

Day 6

 

Struggling. The past two days have been been tough, and we've never gone this long without talking.

 

I know I won't contact her, I know that will make me feel worse, but that doesn't make this any better. I'm having trouble letting go. We were long distance, and the odds of us meeting were so slim, but the attraction was so strong that we made it work. What are the odds that this will happen again?

 

I've let go of my anger and I just miss her and miss being able to call her my girlfriend. Eight months went by so fast. I almost cried this morning, almost cried at the gym, and am almost crying right now.

 

I want to do the right things- eat well, work harder, and keep working out- but it's really a struggle right now. I just want to feel better.

 

Oh no, here come the tears

[mslos07]

DAY 3:

 

We tried working things out a second time last week then we got into an argument so she ended contact. This is Day 3 and she texted me asking me if i was back at school which is weird because she knows i am. didn't respond and she sent another text saying nvm 35 minutes later. Thoughts?

[zentoCC]

Day 2

 

Spent all day wondering/ dreading a text from him. I feel really guilty not answering not that I can now. I need to stand up for myself that's what everyone tells me even if I quite don't believe it myself.

 

Today's going to be busy I'm a bit nervous to be honest I'm glad I took those sleeping tablets.

[DelmoreSkag]

Day 2

 

The day isn't over yet, but I know I'm not going to contact her.

 

She never replied to my request to meet up and talk through things. This made me angry and I think it is helping me to realize that it is over.

 

I have had a lot of feelings of wanting to rescue her from the hole she is in at the moment. This is how our relationship started and I now realise how unhealthy it was.

 

I understand that she can only help herself and the feelings I have are me projecting my own insecurities, when I was helping her I was in a position of power and control (something I didn't have in my own life) as the rescuer and it made me feel good about myself.

[Romanticism]

6 Days since we last spoke. She said she didn't want to talk to me, that she needed time to herself. Whether it's true or not I just feel she would love to just forget about me. She was always one who couldn't face her problems/fears head on. Even when I loved her so much I could always see that she would take the path with the least resistance when she could....Guess the least resistance is erasing me out of her mind.

 

I don't even know what to think when I think of this situation. I have been making a conscious effort to improve myself as a person, and hanging out with a very good friend. These things help me stay centered...But there hasn't been a single day we don't talk that I think of her...And I can't control it. I happen to be a very ADD kind of person, I am always thinking about certain situations and she always finds a way into my thoughts.

 

I had a crazy dream about her the other day, she was meeting my mother. Thing is...My mother passed away a year ago. They never met each other, it was very surreal. My mother was telling me she cared but couldn't communicate it well...Scary part is she's right. She always had communication problems, stems from her childhood I guess.

 

I can't lie, I naturally distrust women because of my childhood. I was always a fast grower, in the period between when we broke up and now I have developed a lot as a person. I took a lot of things into perspective and learned some valuable lessons. I am not where I want to be yet, I still have much more to grow. But having talked to her for periods, and then not talking I truly don't think she has grown or learned much from the situation.

 

We broke up because she was moving back home...long story but in a nut shell it was because of huge miscommunications stemmed from her lack of communication.

 

It hurts me to think she hasn't taken it like I have, but a good friend has taught me you can't put your own labels on somebody not you. You don't know how slow/fast they can learn or grow, and it is unreasonable to think they are as fast as you.

 

At this point I am just rambling...I just know that if we were in the same city we would still be together. And it's hard to believe things have turned out like they did, I am trying my hardest to take it as a learning experience except....I loved her...I can't just forget that. It's been 3 months since the break up but my feelings still haven't changed. I still care very much about her and wish her the best. But if she were to find someone else so soon I know I couldn't handle it...I would have to say goodbye until who knows really...maybe forever?

 

 

Thanks for reading guys.

[823freckles]

Can I have one last contact and then go NC? Please?