THE NO CONTACT CHALLENGE, Part 2

[Poisonheart]

Day 17

 

I had a break down the other day and binged like crazy! I've been eating pretty healthy and going to the gym regularly but for some reason the past three days I've been super depressed and nothing was more comforting than eating and doing nothing! I totally regret it today though...as I see the progress that my body was making is no longer there. I hate the fact that you made me feel that way to a point where it derailed me from what I was working towards. I hate that I still love you! I hate that I miss you so much!! I just hate that I fell in love with you.

 

Why can't I just already get over you?! I don't want to feel this way any longer!

[DelmoreSkag]

Day 3

 

Still no contact.

 

We have en event we are due to attend together in a month, I am now considering selling my ticket and sending hers in the mail (along with some other paperwork I have of hers).

 

I want to be friends with her, but I feel I need to maintain no contact until my feelings for her dissipate.

[jkepler85]

BU happened on Feb. 16. Tried talking it out for a couple weeks. Went NC for a bit. She needed help with something and I did help her. Went LC and now it's time to be back in NC.

 

Day 1 - I need to cut it all for the my own sake. I'm stringing myself along. She made her decision, it's time to not spend another drop of energy/thought on her for any reason. I'm afraid she'll be the most attractive woman I'll ever date. She was a model and sexy as all get out. I know it seems superficial, but I value having an attractive partner. She was the first girl who surpassed my expectations for physical attractiveness, if only her communication had been up to snuff. A girl I was starting to hang out with friendzoned me, which was a little bummer, but I knew it wouldn't have worked out anyways, she didn't have the right personality, it would have been more of an ego boost for me is all. I guess I feel good being desired or having a girl interested in me. I wish I didn't need that, but right now it's about the only thing that makes me feel good.

[MonsterM]

We broke up 22nd of January...but actually I wished to end things on 28th of December...I was very mad at her...she broke with me on 22nd after she got in a rebound...women you know...then we had a contact till 1st of february,then again on 6th then on 10th...then went NC until 8 of March...she is all over facebook with the new guy,although she wanted to remain secret with me(perhaps she was afraid someone will steal me from her lol).now I havent contacted her since we met last Monday to pick some stuff from her place.I told her we should talk about it,and then nothing.I just sent her an SMS I still have some things at her place.

 

Now it's 10 days of NC I guess...Im not sure if I want to break it up any time...maybe after the rebound ends...Im not sure,because neither I nor she trusted each other...

[Chelle212]

Ok I started posting in the breakup forum, but now I feel I should be posting here. I'm on day two of a breakup and day one of no contact. My boyfriend has been very neglectful toward me. He was promoted recently this year and travels a lot for work. Since the promotion I am lucky if I get five minutes to talk to him a day. He has been gone quite a few weekends. He always has reasons why he dosen't have time to talk to me. First thought was he is cheating, but I believe him when he said the only thing he is cheating on me with is work. I don't believe he dosen't have any time to talk to me, or be so busy on every weekends out doing his own thing. I believe he just dosen't want to make time for me. He dosen't feel the same way about me as he used to. We have been together for three years, and he was super persistent in getting me. I wasn't interested in him, have never been fully attracted to him and here I am three years later, the one who feels hurt.

 

We have been breaking up a lot this year but it never sticks. Usually we just blow it off as something we do, or I would cry and we then we would blow it off. He used to be the one to cry. I have talked about how neglected I feel with him, but nothing has changed. He likewise has things he dosen't like about me. Difference is I try to work on myself, but he has just says he will but never does. Expects to get his way but when it comes to consideration of me nothing changes. He used to be the sweetest guy on earth (i never expected the honeymoon phase to last) but now he is just down right not nice to me.

 

So now he is in India for 10 days on vacation, not work. We had a fight before he left. He was mad at me for not thanking him for helping me with my taxes, I was mad at him for neglecting me being home the night before he leaves and not giving me any time at all, and being nasty to me while he did my taxes. I wrote a whole three page letter and left it on the sink since he would wake up before me. I suggested breaking up and not talking for 10 days. He wrote on the back of the letter with a smiley face that he didn't want to break up and he would try to be more considerate.

 

Here we are 6 days later and I have unbelievably been neglected again. Since he left he sent a one sentence email telling me that he got there ok. He called me once for 10 minutes, and answered five questions I sent him via email. To him this is communication and perfectly ok. I have probably had a total of 15 minutes of contact with him over 5 days. I went to the hospital for two of those days and he didn't even know it. I sent him an email telling him this isn't going to work. The response I got was more excuses why he couldn't talk to me, why I didn't bother to ask him how he was, and he was going to call but now he isn't because he dosen't want to explain why he couldn't call me everyday. He wanted to break up too. I sent a quite nasty response and told him off. I also mentioned had he asked me how I was he would have known I was very sick and in the hospital. He never bothered to respond to that email, or show any concern or consideration for what I am going through.

 

So here I am on day one of no contact and day two of breaking up. We live together so not sure how no contact will work I thought of just leaving on Sunday when he comes home and coming back when he leaves on Monday for work (travel).

 

I do love him and I think what I want from this is for him to realize that this isn't just another break up that he can brush off because we do it all of the time. I want him to realize I'm serious and I want him to not treat me this way. If he really simply dosen't care anymore or can't do that then I don't want him because I deserve better.

 

Heartbroken, but I'm doing this for me

[Poisonheart]

day 18

 

I missed school this morning... woke up to a dream that he text me about how much he had missed me. Checked my phone the minute I woke up and was disappointed How could I be so weak? I don't like this person I am becoming! This hopeless, depressed person. I still miss him so much! Waiting for the day where it would be easier for me to let everything go and move on with my life.

[DelmoreSkag]

Day 4

 

Successfully maintaining no contact.

 

Today was hard, I miss her a lot.

 

I am making steps to find new friends, I think i'm heading in the right direction.

[disme724]

been 8 days NC and about 2 weeks BU.

I doing good have been working on myself working out everyday, running (getting ready for Bay to Breakers)

overall I've been feeling good, looking forward to next week! country concert, race track with old friends, and looking at a new house to move in to will be a big step for me into my new life a new beginning i feel that's what I've been trying to accomplish for a while and haven't been a man to go for it but now its a fresh start and a new me.

i do some times think about her but I've been telling my self every morning she has moved on, and then i look in to the mirror and i say to myself "dude you look good and happy!" i know its cocky but works for me lol! (you guys should try it! saying good stuff about you to yourself is good)

 

today there was just one thing bothering me and its the RING. we were engaged since jun/26/2011 till when she broke up with me and i want the ring back how should i go about that? i don't talk to any of her friends or family...how do i go about getting it back? that's if she haven't sold it yet...

[pj7]

He keeps breaking contact by texting, not in a good way i don't think. He just texts to tell me random things about whats happening in his life, this morning i woke up to a text from him about something i really did not want to know, it's so frustrating trying to figure out what is going through his head. After replying him with a few short texts, i just stopped. He is confusing me and I just need time apart for a while.

 

Back to day 0!

[squirl]

Ask her for it. Tell her it's traditional if the woman breaks off the engagement to return the ring. What a tacky move on her part.

[Chelle212]

Breakup Day 3

NC Day 2

 

I spent 7 hours on the phone with my best friend last night so that I could get him out of my head. We talked about him a lot though. I miss him a lot, but I also feel angry. I feel like he dosen't care, and I still can't believe that he was OK neglecting me. Our situation is weird because i broke up with him in an email while he is on vacation visiting his family overseas. The email was pretty nasty because I felt betrayed and was mad when I wrote it (Never right an angry email there is no unsend). I want to do NC, and he is purposely doing NC on me too now. He comes back on Sunday, but I plan to leave the house for the day and night. I want him back but not the neglectful him. Not sure how to keep NC going when he gets back. My friend told me to leave him a note when I leave. But that would be breaking NC so not sure what to do. Will leaving with no note help the situation? We think he is expecting me to be in the house when he gets home. I have threatened, but never actually left before.

 

Anyhow on Day 2 and I don't plan on talking to him today. I am going out with friends to an art museum to take my mind off of him.

[Moonchill]

I broke NC after a lot of days..

Why?

 

Well I saw him while going out and..

It ruined my night...

 

All the grudge I've build up... the anger..

The whole passive aggressive looking at eachother..

The whole acting like we are ignoring eachother..

 

It's all nonsense to me.

 

So I send him a message.. said I still cared.. said I didn't want to continue this way and that I need closure..

I just need 1 decent conversation with him.. Just to speak and listen to eachother... Maybe come to some kind of understanding towards eachother..

 

Yes I've had some alcohol and yes I'm in tears.. I know it's not a good combination but on the other hand I believe that when you are honest and open about your feelings..

if one really cared about you in the past.. one will not step all over it.. at leat I give him the chance.. a chance to open up..

 

Time for some sleep now

[DonDraper32]

Day 9

 

I've skipped a day or two. Haven't been okay, just been too busy to post here.

 

Thursday (Day eight), I woke up stressed, debating if I should or shouldn't text her to wish her luck on her exams. After posting here, I decided against it and went on with my day (worked out, went to work, watched the NCAA tournament at a bar with some friends).

 

All night I couldn't sleep. I was at my parents and since it was a Thursday and she just finished two exams, I figured that she went out. I also got it stuck in my head she was hooking up with someone or was planning on doing so today.

 

When I woke up for good, I had two Facebook inboxes from her:

"Don't you think it's a little bit ridiculous that you untagged all of the pictures you were in with me?"

"Never mind. It actually doesn't matter at all. Sorry"

 

Naturally this drove me nuts, especially since she had already deleted me on all social media before I untagged the pictures.

 

I've spent all day debating sending "Hey, I know you said it doesn't matter, but I wanted you to know that I only untagged those pictures in the heat of the moment after you unfriended me. If it means anything to you, I saved them to my computer. Hope you're doing well and have a good Easter."

 

I'm a tad bit drunk now, but even now I've decided not to send it. I don't want to waste 9 days of NC and feed her ego. Everyone seems to agree this is the right decision, but they all want me to move on and I want her back.

 

Any insight/advice would be greatly appreciated.

[DelmoreSkag]

Day 5

 

Still no contact, still I miss her.

 

I had some bad dreams about her moving out of the country this morning. In the dream I was sad because this meant she would be out of my life forever. I seem to be missing her more as a friend now than as a partner.

 

I think the key to moving on is making new friends.

[Webbley]

I'm trying the challenge. I was 2 weeks NC today, but broke it today and sent her a video. Felt confident and okay with contacting her, but broke down when a friend started talking about the guy she's currently seeing. I'm not okay right now. My birthday is today, and I can't stop thinking "I hope I'll hear from her today". Same thing that made me break NC. I am an idiot. I was living in lala land, thinking that I would be okay. My brain is broken, and I need help.

[Poisonheart]

day 20

 

why hasn't it gotten any easier? I'm still struggling with the idea of no contact but I am extremely proud that I've made it this far. I'm going to start a daily schedule to keep my days occupied because I noticed that when I have nothing to do...that's when I am missing and thinking about my ex the most. I need to go back to the gym again and start eating healthy. The past few days I kind of just gave up and gave myself reasons to not to go. I am worth the time and energy and soon I will look amazing! I hope when that day comes along we will run into each other and I can honestly say that I deserve more and walk away from him with pride in myself.that I have made it so far.

 

Positive thinking today!

[disme724]

Ask her for it. Tell her it's traditional if the woman breaks off the engagement to return the ring. What a tacky move on her part.

 

 

yea I'm going to text her asking for it but I'm thinking she might think i'm making excuse to contact her, and should i wait till Monday to ask for it or just do it today?

thanks for the reply.

[DonDraper32]

Day 10

 

Broke it. I'm a train wreck.

[disme724]

so i did text her today asking her to mail me the ring or drop it off at my house when I'm not there..but didn't get any reply so i guess just wait for it to arrive or...idk haha...

 

Well happy Easter everyone! hope everyone have a good time with there family and friends, because that's what give us the structure to always look forward for tomorrow!

[DelmoreSkag]

Day 6

 

I miss her friendship.

 

I also miss working with her, we ran a business together. I let her have it so that we could have a clean break and heal, I am having second thoughts though.

[Romanticism]

Day 3.

 

I broke contact after a week of NC because I noticed she removed me from facebook. I knew it was stupid but I didn't care. I just thought it was incredibly childish. She could of just unsubscribed to me updates but instead she completely removed me. A week ago she said she didn't feel like talking to me right now the day before her birthday.

 

I am so tired of the women in my life getting what they want and need from me and disappearing. I am not a door mat personality...but it seems like they can't stand to be in contact with me after the break up. I really loved this chick...I can't just forget her. No matter how great I am becoming as a person, or progressing in life I still feel hollow ever since she moved away. I know we broke up because of the distance...but that's what makes it even worse.

 

I guess reading/seeing my status updates was enough to make her irrationally just remove me...I miss our friendship dearly...but she didn't want to even talk to me on her birthday of all days...I am devastated. I could ask her brother how she's doing but all that does is just set me back more...man this sucks

[james31]

I like this idea... i tried this last week before starting NC again and i got her whilst she was with her friends, she didnt make the time to talk and simply got the ****s, refused to burn bridges and said whatever happens in the future happens before hanging up on me.

 

 

I was ok during the week but its a 4 day weekend in Australia so i have been doing nothing, its been a struggle but i think i have gotten myself through the hardest part of the long weekend and will be back at work soon.

 

My goal is to make it to day 14 and then see how i feel and go from there... only 1 more tough day to go

[DelmoreSkag]

Day 6

 

I miss her friendship.

 

I also miss working with her, we ran a business together. I let her have it so that we could have a clean break and heal, I am having second thoughts though.

 

Update for day 6.

 

I am really starting to realize how poor she was in the relationship and how much I am better off finding a girl who is less complicated without major emotional issues.

 

I still want her as a friend though! In this moment of clarity, I feel like I could be her friend with no issues. Hopefully it continues and the moments eventually become the norm.

[DonDraper32]

Day 1

 

After two months of her stringing me along post-breakup, she finally told me that she doesn't have feelings for me anymore, lost attraction to me at the end of our relationship, and was just hoping a break would change that. She was incredibly blunt and told me she's been hanging out with other guys and wouldn't have any problem hooking up with them (for the two months post breakup we were exclusive, although only hooked up once).

 

She told me she wishes that she wanted to be with me because I'm a great guy and was so good to her, but it's simply not what she wants. She told me that she's sorry this didn't work out, and that was that.

 

I'm dying. I woke up at 4 this morning and couldn't go back to sleep. I'm having chest pains and am experiencing incredible anxiety. I'm trying to work up the courage to tell my parents I want to see a doctor, but don't want to ruin Easter. I also know who one of the guys she's been hanging out with is, and picturing them together is driving me crazy.

 

I just don't understand how her feelings could die like they did, especially when my remained so strong. I'm trying not to have a self-defeatist attitude, but I feel worthless knowing that I invested so much in somebody who care so little. It hurts knowing that she's moving on, while I'm back at square one and that I held her hand as she got over me.

 

I want to feel better. I just don't know how I can.

[doiiiieeezie]

Day 1 for me.

 

Losing your best friend is one of the hardest things that can happen, especially when they know your secrets and inner core. Time in all ways is a healer and I know that in different circumstances this would be the person i could have grown old with, through romance or friendship. However, he belongs to another whether he wants to believe or not, and I can't sit by knowing that he's lying to both of us.

 

I'm not doing this for anyone else but me, because I deserve so much better.