THE NO CONTACT CHALLENGE, Part 2

[beaton]

Day 3

 

Ugh. Knowing that I can't contact him makes it more difficult.

Today I had a weak moment at the grocery store. I saw his favorite chips and it reminded me of strolling through the aisles with him figuring out dinner for that night. What happened to us?? Going NC 4 months post-breakup is making me realize how much I still relied on our LC. How crappy this feels means that NC is all the more necessary.

[artistnomore]

Back to Day 1 I sent a simple text that said I miss you last night and didnt expect a reply but she did and said I miss you too. I didnt say anything else nor did she so Im feeling worse of course and it really sux. I feel so anxious I cant sit still tonight.

[james31]

Finally made it to 1 week NC, Took me 3 attempts but im feeling much better then i didn the first 2 times.

 

This is the longest i have ever gone without talking or messaging her, even whilst i was away with the army i still managed to hear her voice at least once a week at the least.

 

 

Im still getting frustrated easily, little things at work are annoying me alot but all in all i feel strong, like i dont NEED to hear from her, i just WANT to thats all... ive decided im going to aim for 30 days NC and then see how i feel before attempting to make contact again

[Jimbly]

2 months post BU. One month mutual NC, for me to "work on myself", for her to "separate emotionally" - I wish she had told me that at the start and I would have gone permanent NC from the start instead of spending a month in painful limbo....Now 2 weeks into permanent NC after the phone call that made me realize how self-absorbed and emotionally insensitive she is. After dropping off a box of her stuff on her doorstep it still took a few texts for her to get the message that I was done.

 

It was her birthday on Sunday which was easier to cope with than expected, despite a slight setback from looking at Public profile pics on Facebook. 10 days ago I started dating somebody who everybody says is way better for me than she ever was. I still miss her and what could have been, but want her less as time goes by. Now her birthday has passed it should get easier.

 

For 2 years, it was so easy to be with her and we were extremely happy, but we didn't communicate our feelings and it was shallow and superficial. She said things were going so great, but she didn't want to commit to more and suddenly broke up. My new lady is hard work (or maybe a normal level of work), but I know her better in 2 weeks than I knew my ex in 2 years. and she tells me exactly how she feels and what she wants. Prettier, funnier, more talented, more expressive, crazier in bed...all awesome, but I still miss my easy, shallow princess....if she contacted me I would struggle to resist. Yes, I'm a masochist.

[DelmoreSkag]

Day 16

I miss her and kind of want a chance to try again. I'm not going to make any moves though! Sticking to NC.

[IAmFCA]

day 2. yesterday I wondered if I would send him the race number and love letter that bookend 3 years of his efforts to chase me. but his receipt of them would just make him think I wanted a reaction.

 

I don't want him to respond to me and I suppose sending the package would hurt him. I do want to send it as a way of tying a bow around the time and getting it away from me. in which case I could just toss it in the trash.

[Alone Now]

day 2. yesterday I wondered if I would send him the race number and love letter that bookend 3 years of his efforts to chase me. but his receipt of them would just make him think I wanted a reaction.

 

I don't want him to respond to me and I suppose sending the package would hurt him. I do want to send it as a way of tying a bow around the time and getting it away from me. in which case I could just toss it in the trash.

 

Would sending him the package make you feel like things have truly ended? Are you sure you're not just looking for a reaction? If it is really over why not just toss the items in the garbage?

[Amandacast57]

Day 12.

 

I do miss him but I can't think of anything else other than getting my wisdom teeth out tomorrow. EEEEK!

[DonDraper32]

Day 10

 

New personal high. Feeling much better than I did even a week ago, but I had nowhere to go but up. Still missing her and thinking about the coulda/woulda/shouldas, but I also know that she put us in this position.

 

Very upset with myself with how I acted for two months post-breakup, allowing her to justify leaving me, but there's nothing I can do about that now. Just trusting the process and that by day 30, I'll be even more healed than I am now.

[Kimcwell]

Day 10, not fun. I'm full of anxiety and longing. Why won't you reach out to me? I left the door open, so truth is, you don't want me in your life. It hurts, I'm hurting.

[beaton]

Day 4

 

Today is going better than yesterday. My days off work are the hardest because I have to distract myself.

[figmentations]

Day 12

 

Today I'm angry at her. Mostly because I feel she was a coward in not facing me face-to-face when BU happened. And things about me being stuck in life...did she think that all along and just waited to tell me because we were breaking up? Ugh.

[Needherback27]

Day 14

 

Still think about it 24/7. I miss her so much. From all the high of feeling like she was coming back, to trying to force nc. So hard. I miss my family.

[DelmoreSkag]

Day 17

 

Not much has changed.

[james31]

Day 8... coming close to 3 months post B/U and what would have been out 12 month anniversery... i have been thinking about it alot and about how i had a whole weekend away planned, the fact that i lost a deposit for the accommodation i had to cancel and things like that.

.im still angry with what she had done and how she has had control over my feelings even though we do not talk anymore but today i have been ok, worked by myself all day and just enjoyed doing my thing and listening to music.

 

 

Things are slowly getting better... i didnt think much of NC but im glad i have come this far as i know it will only get better with time

[Ammieg]

Day 1

 

OK. I know I have tried to do NC about 20 times and keep going back to him. we're not even officially together any more but I'm still talking to him! Its all so messed up. I just want to be with him preoperly or move on and heal now. He says hes put the ball in my court now and no longer taking the lead. Not even sure what that means. So I'm responding with NC.

 

Things are lovely and caring between us right now but I need to remind myself that it was/is an abusive relationship and its in my best interests to stop going back to him however much I think this time will be different.

 

I'm staying positive and I know I can do this. Hoping reading about others will help me follow through this time.

[james31]

And just when i thought everything was going well... after such an awesome day of feeling strong and thinking i had hit that point where everything uphill from there on, i randomly just scrolled through my news feed and saw a photo of my ex, i have blocked her on all social media so i havnt seen her or spoken or anything at all.

 

Things were going so well... and now i cant get the image of her beautiful smile out of my head and knowing she is happy is killing me, i just want to message her, just to see if she even responds

I hate this... i would do ANYTHING to have no memory of her, nothing at all.

[figmentations]

Back to day 1 of NC. I kept it up until 13 days though. We didn't talk or anything, I just called at her house and her grandmother answered so I just hung up.

[heartbrokengir]

Day 16

 

I am trying to figure out how NC is going to affect him. I've been looking around for answers.

[jkepler85]

Day 5 again after cutting all ties including digital ones.

 

I was actually pretty happy today, been busy with work stuff. Been about 8 weeks since BU. I'm doing alright, still get lonely at night and when I'm bored I wonder, but other than I'm doing ok. The space and silence helps. I can feel her leaving my system little by little.

[beaton]

Day 5

 

Every time the phrase "I miss him" or anything similar (his name, a memory or urge) crosses my mind, I try to visualize an eraser wiping it away. My brain is used to these pathways and I am trying to undo this habit.

 

Its been 11 days since I last contacted him and I haven't heard from him. This is the longest we've gone in 2 years. I want him to feel my absence but part of the reason he broke up with me was because he felt that absence in our LDR and wanted to be whole...so...I guess it's long past this point for him.

[IAmFCA]

Day 3.... so doing the right thing

[IAmFCA]

Day 4

Counting while I am on this site. Not really noticing. Not missing him. Was so ready for this change, this time.

 

Oh that's not really true, I did wonder as I walked to the train this morning whether he would somehow pop up in my world; whether he is trying to fix the safety net he has so that he can get beyond it. I wondered but I didn't really answer the question because I just don't really care. I thought What a sad man, to have so many talents, really truly remarkable talents, and choose not to use them. Who cares if you can fly, if you don't actually go do it? Who cares how many languages you can speak, if you don't use them for work or travel? Who cares what a great parent and partner you can make, if you stop short of actually being there for someone, all the time, even when it challenges you beyond all measure?

 

In fact I have just written more than I thought at the time. Oh how I loved the person he isn't.

[mrs H]

DAY 4

 

i am also on day 4 yesterday i almost cracked but i held myself together and didn't contact him.though i miss him sooo much.

[Ryan1030]

Day 4

 

Saw her this morning as we were dropping off our kids. Then we were driving nearly side by side down the road. She waived as I turned off for the highway. I didn't wave back. (wasn't being rude, just didn't have time) She'll normally contact me after 6 days of NC. Feeling OK. I've set some weight loss goals for myself. I want to lose 10 pounds.