Ryan1030

What quirky said.

Hey baby. I'm struggling. Friday night. This pain is excruciating. I miss my best friend.

Day 4 Saw her this morning as we were dropping off our kids. Then we were driving nearly side by side down the road. She waived as I turned off for the highway. I didn't wave back. (wasn't being rude, just didn't have time) She'll normally contact me after 6 days of NC. Feeling OK. I've set some weight loss goals for myself. I want to lose 10 pounds.

Back to day 1. She stalked me last night. I did kiss her. But, I did not sleep w/ her. I love her so much. She puts it on me why we can't be together. It is such bs. She just wants to use me for sex and to stroke her ego. She promised that she will leave me alone now. I'm so tired of her. I want NC to heal. I do not want her in my life. 5th time trying NC. I break after she keeps pursuing me; i normally don't break after the first few texts/emails. I hope she will leave me alone. I hope I am stronger. We had an affair. I left my wife (she was abusive - I would have left anyway) She did not leave her husband. (which is fine, just leave me alone - as it is too painful) I wish I was gay.

Hey Kelly, I'll be at Wal-Mart at 9:15 Mmmm It won't be sweet.

Day 3 She texted three times last night. Very empowering not to reply. But, we have kids the age. So I was looking around during my daughter's soccer game to see if she was at the fields. Had I seen her it might have counted as contact, but she wasn't there. Our kids go to the same school, so I'll try to avoid her during drop off. I think if you ignore their contact you should get a bonus day. But, did not like the way it felt looking for her. Lesson learned.

Hey Kel! Thanks for sending me those 3 texts tonight. You broke NC after only 1.5 days? I know you are hurting. But you get zero Ryan until you leave your husband. We said we'd jump together. I left. I'm waiting for you. But, it is too painful for me to be w/ someone not 100% available. You will not get your cake and eat it too. Sorry! So if you want Ryan, then you must file. You're on your own until you do. I love you baby. You''re my angel.

Hey Kel, I miss you. I hope you are getting things figured out.

Day 2 This will be the 4th time I've tried NC w/ her. Ever other time she contacted me and we hooked up. I told her this time I was serious. Last time I ignored her text she did a drive by at my house adn started blowing up the email. I gave in and we talked all week until yesterday. I told her it was too painful now to see her. So, I'll have to be much firmer this time. I might see her on the soccer fields today. I'll have to pretend she is an acquaintance if I see her. She wants to be w/ me. (she wants me to tell her husband, or she wants me to get her pregnant - yes, kind of psycho, but I love her I'm not going to do that though. She is in a bad marriage just like me. But, no I left 4 weeks ago. She hasn't yet. She gets no more Ryan unless she does. I get that she's scared. I just need to heal and grow. I need to be strong for my own path I have to walk through. I wish she was walking through it w/ me. Anyway, I'm going to use this site. Maybe be able to help others soon. I'm tired of wearing my friends out. I'm done talking about it w /them. Last night went out w/ an old friend. Been continuing w/ the gym. I want my faith in God to grow. Have a good day everyone, Ryan

Day 1 (3.5 hours) Challenge Accepted. We were together 9 months. Fell deeply in love. I have left my wife. She has not left her husband. I want to heal and be a better man for myself and my kids.