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DelmoreSkag

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Everything posted by DelmoreSkag

  1. Day 21 She just emailed me asking for the password for her phone account so she can pay her bill. I'm pretty sure I have to reply.
  2. Day 20 Constantly flipping between "I want her back, I love her" and "I am a lot better than her, going back would be a big mistake".
  3. Day 16 I miss her and kind of want a chance to try again. I'm not going to make any moves though! Sticking to NC.
  4. Day 15 I'm doing ok. Keeping distracted helps.
  5. Day 14 Two weeks. I still think of her a lot.
  6. Day 13 I've been feeling quite down the past couple of days, I think it must be because I saw a recent photo of her. I've had urges to contact her, but I'm not going to. If she calls or emails, it will be hard to not answer her.
  7. Day 12 She emailed me this morning with a technical question regarding the website for the business we ran together. This made me angry, as she ignored my personal messages right before I started NC. This is not an urgent issue which she emailed about, she could have easily contacted the technical support instead of me. I am going to ignore her email.
  8. Day 11 I found other friends to go to the event with me, I need to stop being considerate of her when we aren't even speaking! For some silly reason I decided to unblock her on Facebook yesterday, I didn't re-add her as a friend, but seeing her glowing and looking beautiful in her display picture kind of set me back a bit. Today I have been missing her a fair bit. I know deep down it is just loneliness, I need to meet more people!
  9. Day 10 I have an urge to break contact. An event was just announced that we would both want to attend in a few weeks time. I know that we would have a good time going together and as it is a few weeks away, I feel I would have had enough time to heal. The problem is, tickets are on sale now and I'm sure she doesn't even know that this event exists yet. I'm worried it will sell out or she will make other plans. At this stage I'm sticking with NC, but I really want to go with her (I know none of our other friends will go with us).
  10. Day 9 She just emailed me asking for a password for one of our business related accounts. I will reply with just the password and nothing else, I don't think that counts as breaking contact.
  11. Day 8 I still miss her. She really was my best friend, nobody I have met comes close to having as many similar interests, humour, way of viewing the world etc.
  12. Update for day 6. I am really starting to realize how poor she was in the relationship and how much I am better off finding a girl who is less complicated without major emotional issues. I still want her as a friend though! In this moment of clarity, I feel like I could be her friend with no issues. Hopefully it continues and the moments eventually become the norm.
  13. Day 6 I miss her friendship. I also miss working with her, we ran a business together. I let her have it so that we could have a clean break and heal, I am having second thoughts though.
  14. Day 5 Still no contact, still I miss her. I had some bad dreams about her moving out of the country this morning. In the dream I was sad because this meant she would be out of my life forever. I seem to be missing her more as a friend now than as a partner. I think the key to moving on is making new friends.
  15. Day 4 Successfully maintaining no contact. Today was hard, I miss her a lot. I am making steps to find new friends, I think i'm heading in the right direction.
  16. Day 3 Still no contact. We have en event we are due to attend together in a month, I am now considering selling my ticket and sending hers in the mail (along with some other paperwork I have of hers). I want to be friends with her, but I feel I need to maintain no contact until my feelings for her dissipate.
  17. Day 2 The day isn't over yet, but I know I'm not going to contact her. She never replied to my request to meet up and talk through things. This made me angry and I think it is helping me to realize that it is over. I have had a lot of feelings of wanting to rescue her from the hole she is in at the moment. This is how our relationship started and I now realise how unhealthy it was. I understand that she can only help herself and the feelings I have are me projecting my own insecurities, when I was helping her I was in a position of power and control (something I didn't have in my own life) as the rescuer and it made me feel good about myself.
  18. Day 1 I previously reached 48 hours with no contact, but I contacted her today. I had dreams about being back together with her which started off the day on the wrong foot. This led me to contacting her in order to meet with her to get some closure. She has been closed off since the break up and we haven't discussed it at all. She ignored me and didn't reply to my request to meet up, which made me angry as we had both been friendly, civil and accommodating up until this point (though I realize it was unhealthy). I have tickets to a concert with her one month away. I hope to heal over the next few weeks and hope to be able to go to the concert with her without it having a negative impact on my healing. My heart wants her back desperately, but my brain has come to the realization that she is immature and a relationship with her at this time would be unhealthy. I hope to be friends with her after I heal. I seem to be doing better than a lot of people this early on, which is strange considering she is my first love and this is my first break up and my feelings for her are/were INTENSE and I've held them for over 5 years.
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