THE NO CONTACT CHALLENGE, Part 2

[Poisonheart]

Day 21

 

Today...I still miss him dearly. For some reason I still have so much hope that we're going to work things out in the future. A mutual friend of ours posted a picture of my ex on his page which I didn't expect to see. He still look just as good as the day I fell in love with him. I didn't let myself stare/exam the photo for too long figured it would upset me more than it has already. The image of his face lingers in my head. I miss him...

 

I still miss and love him.

[yellowsun]

Day 3

 

It is all weird. The girl I once loved and shared moments with and talked everyday is now no longer a part of my life. I can't hear about her days and tell her about mine. I am hopeful for the future, and still am very determined. I am kind of scared to move on because I know she was for me. I hope things will change the next few days and I hope that by being a part of this forum, I will become stronger and have a better sense of myself.

[icantsay]

Day 24

 

I've been gone for a bit.. i seem to not need this website too much anymore. I rarely think of him, and the thing that truly made me move on was seeing him with a new girl. That did it for me. So now I'm starting a new life and I feel great!

 

I will probably post less in here - but will keep updating about my days (not that anyone cares ) .. at least until i reach day 30!

 

Good to see everyone's progress in here! Hang in there

[Mistykitty]

Its been, like, 5 months now? Something like that @-@

Just popping in to say that my ex is giving me breadcrumbs like crazy now. A couple days ago he was just talking about how I'm so "crazy", and now that I'm confident and I guess he's [finally] picked up on it, he's contacting me for the most random reasons =P

 

I just wanted to post that somewhere, because I find it amusing, hah. Just keep NC up You'll be SO MUCH stronger and be able to happily look back on how far you've come

[DelmoreSkag]

Day 8

 

I still miss her.

 

She really was my best friend, nobody I have met comes close to having as many similar interests, humour, way of viewing the world etc.

[figmentations]

Day 2

 

This is so hard. It's not even the fact of not talking, the break she asked of me before we broke up got me some practice in this but I sent her an mail two days ago, a letter I wrote for her wishing her well, telling her that I loved her and that I wished the best for her and that if she wanted to contact me again, she could. But I'm so paranoid that she might have blocked me from her Hotmail account, meaning she never received that email and the email I replied to that she sent me.

 

I wish I wasn't so afraid.

[Poisonheart]

Day 22

 

I still think about him throughout the day, wondering what he's doing? Whether or not if he's thinking about me. I wish I knew he was dating or seeing someone new...that would make this a lot easier for me to move on. We ended the relationship on good terms which is the reason why it's making it so difficult for me to get over him. I have no need or urges to go out and meet new men nor do I have the urges to drink and party. I am not waiting for his return (as far as I'm feeling right now) I just want this time to work on myself and learn how to be in love with myself completely vs being so vulnerable and weak with my heart. I made an agreement to myself, not to allow anyone into my heart/life until I am completely happy with where I am in my life. I want to be completely over my ex. I want to be content with my life and myself. I'm considering celibacy.

[heartbrokengir]

Day 6

 

I haven't contacted my ex other than sending him back money he gave me on Day 1 of break up. I think that counts as contact which I'm really sorry about it that I'm part of this challenge. I didn't realize the consequences this might cause now that I am part of this challenge. I was just returning him his money in the mail. Other than that, I never plan on contacting him again. But he contacted me today by sending me concert tickets through a third party. However! I already have these tickets so I don't know why he needs to send them to me again. But I never replied him. Not planning to.

[disme724]

i miss her

i just wanted a answer that this time is really over for good it would make it so much easier to move on..

this sux because i really want her but her ego is too big and cant get true it.

all i think about is the good times we had and is hard to stop thinking about her.

i wish i never met her.

 

by the way back to square 1 i text her telling her to tell me if she still had feelings for me, because i just wanted her to tell me "no" so then i can just forget her and move on it would make it much easier because then i would be hoping that we would get back together again.

[james31]

If my ex had have just said that she didnt love me and that we will never be getting back together i would be in such a happier state of mind right now. Its been 2 1/2 months and she continues to say 'we'll see what happens in the future'... even though i knows its over she will not cut me away and burn the bridges.

 

Such a mind****... i cant put the love i have for her to rest because she hasnt ended it herself im too stuborn to give up on her

[Amandacast57]

Its been, like, 5 months now? Something like that @-@

Just popping in to say that my ex is giving me breadcrumbs like crazy now. A couple days ago he was just talking about how I'm so "crazy", and now that I'm confident and I guess he's [finally] picked up on it, he's contacting me for the most random reasons =P

 

I just wanted to post that somewhere, because I find it amusing, hah. Just keep NC up You'll be SO MUCH stronger and be able to happily look back on how far you've come

 

Do you respond to any of his breadcrumbs?

[heartbrokengir]

Day 7:

No contact from my part and vice versa. Healing nicely.

[Moonchill]

I wish you the best of luck, James.

 

I liked the idea too.. especially after a couple of glasses of wine..

But he hasn't replied at all..

And I'm not devastated..

But I am a bit dissapointed.

 

He left the bar sooner than me with some kind of girl.

*Sigh*..

 

But I'm proud that I dared to break the NC and have been open about my feelings.

I think he can learn from that... But I just think I really hurt him and he want to avoid me like the plague.

I wanted to admit my faults as well. But he didn't reply so that is a very clear answer.

I did what I could. I gave him a chance to talk about it. Now it has been his choice to not even reply.

Time to forgive myself and forgive him and really move on.

 

I got no clue wether he gives a *&^% or not..

 

It's kind of strange how things can change that fast that much!

We used to share so much very intense emotional things. Our bond was very good.

And now we can not even say hi to eachother let alone chit chat.

 

Anyhow James,.. to make it through you've got to distract yourself. It will not always work but only if it works for half an hour to not think about her, you've gained progress.

She seemed to act really vague on the phone.. If I were you I would not hold unto some kind of hope.

But it's tough, we all know it's tough.. But it gets better! It really does. You will see some proper time NC works!

[DelmoreSkag]

Day 9

 

She just emailed me asking for a password for one of our business related accounts.

 

I will reply with just the password and nothing else, I don't think that counts as breaking contact.

[figmentations]

Day 5

 

Well, I broke contact last night. I called my ex last night, in a fit on sadness and missing her A LOT. I felt I needed to know how she was. She didn't answer both time I called so I left a message. No reply. It's more than clear by now that she wants to have no contact with me at all. She even changed her FB name a few hours after my call. So I'm back and firmer than ever with keeping NC. She may approach me but I will not again. I hope I haven't messed up any chances of us talking in the future. I'm not doing NC for reconciliation, I'm doing it to move on and hopefully have the talk I feel we both deserved since she dumped me via Facebook chat.

 

Here's to me!

[DelmoreSkag]

Day 10

 

I have an urge to break contact.

 

An event was just announced that we would both want to attend in a few weeks time. I know that we would have a good time going together and as it is a few weeks away, I feel I would have had enough time to heal.

 

The problem is, tickets are on sale now and I'm sure she doesn't even know that this event exists yet. I'm worried it will sell out or she will make other plans.

 

At this stage I'm sticking with NC, but I really want to go with her (I know none of our other friends will go with us).

[figmentations]

Day 6

 

I feel so much better. Keeping my distance away from her and showing my love for her via respecting her with her desire to not talk to me makes me feel better about this entire situation. I can at least respect her decision to breakup and for NC. I still cry at night, and find the need to come to this forum to talk to other people, still write in my diary how I love her and wish her the best in her life and sometimes tears will threaten to fall during the day. Thinking of her happiness and holding no hate or resentment toward her also makes me feel "cleaner" (for lack of a better word) and a better future for myself.

[heartbrokengir]

Day 9.

 

Still won't break contact, haven't heard from him since Monday. Still going through mild waves of emotions.

Is it normal to want him to miss me and want me? But I don't want him?

My counsellor said I am doing really well considering the circumstances.

 

Hopefully I'll stop thinking like that soon.

[DonDraper32]

Day 4

 

Struggling. It doesn't feel like it's only been four days, although I guess 13 of the past 16 days have been NC, so I'm kind of used to it.

 

I used to do better with this, because it used to always be my decision. Now she wants nothing to do with me. I keep thinking about sex with her and I keep thinking about how I deserve better and I keep thinking about how badly I screwed up by being needy and I keep thinking about how she gave me no other choice.

 

(I also keep thinking about the terrible grammar I just used).

 

More than anything, I want to feel better. I know 30 days won't do that. She meant too much to me. But I don't have any other choice. I just hope enough time will pass where there's no longer an emotional attachment and she's just a memory or figment of my imagination.

[DelmoreSkag]

Day 11

I found other friends to go to the event with me, I need to stop being considerate of her when we aren't even speaking!

 

For some silly reason I decided to unblock her on Facebook yesterday, I didn't re-add her as a friend, but seeing her glowing and looking beautiful in her display picture kind of set me back a bit.

 

Today I have been missing her a fair bit. I know deep down it is just loneliness, I need to meet more people!

[figmentations]

Day 7

 

I feel so bad today. It's officially one week since BU and I feel like crying, I miss her so much and I want to break contact and this is terribly hard. I wish we could be together but it all depends on her and I can't keep hoping like this.

[Ryan1030]

Day 1 (3.5 hours)

 

Challenge Accepted.

 

We were together 9 months. Fell deeply in love. I have left my wife. She has not left her husband. I want to heal and be a better man for myself and my kids.

[icantsay]

Day 28!!

 

Does anyone have suggestions for what should I do on day 30?

 

Update so far:

Although I feel so much better, I still have dark moments. But they are rare and easy to overcome. I've a hard time concentrating about school, but it's getting better I seem to focus much more now. Hopefully it's not too late to make this semester good again!

I saw another picture of my ex yesterday, and funny enough I didn't feel too much. Also, several guys have asked me out! I've said no, as I don't want to date anyone right now. I just wanna focus on school and complete my goals! But it's nice to know I'm getting back on my feet. Yay to life!

[icantsay]

Welcome Ryan1030! Stay strong! you are not alone in this.

[DelmoreSkag]

Day 12

 

She emailed me this morning with a technical question regarding the website for the business we ran together. This made me angry, as she ignored my personal messages right before I started NC. This is not an urgent issue which she emailed about, she could have easily contacted the technical support instead of me.

 

I am going to ignore her email.