Webbley

I'm trying the challenge. I was 2 weeks NC today, but broke it today and sent her a video. Felt confident and okay with contacting her, but broke down when a friend started talking about the guy she's currently seeing. I'm not okay right now. My birthday is today, and I can't stop thinking "I hope I'll hear from her today". Same thing that made me break NC. I am an idiot. I was living in lala land, thinking that I would be okay. My brain is broken, and I need help.