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jemoeder

Bronze Member
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Everything posted by jemoeder

  1. you taught me so much. and really im grateful for all those years. im sorry for the jealousy and my over sensitive nature at times. im sorry i gave you the impression nothing ever was good enough, that i didnt spend enough money on you, that i couldnt always be open and honest about what was going on with me, that i wasnt man enough to tell you enough is enough when you walked all over me and trampled my heart. deep down i know i was good to you and had good intentions up till 3.5 years into our RS.
  2. want to call you today. still scared what i will find on the other side of the tel line ... is it egotistical of me to want to know how your attitude towards me is ? and if i call you .. and lets say you are open to talk, and we work out all of our troubles.. is there really a future for us ? all these questions keep me from contacting you.. but what if you secretly want me to call you ? just to show you i havent forgotten you.. will my call make you feel better or just throw you back in anger?
  3. Be glad im a life long user of EnA otherwise i would have contacted you with so many other all these times. Anyway, you said you wanted to maintain contact. I sought contact a few times but your reactions were harsh to say the least. I guess you really arent welcoming my tries. Ik hoop dat het goed met je gaat, en dat je alles zal vinden wat je zoekt. Ik hou van je meisje, en elke dag heb ik spijt. sorry bebe, ik wil zo graag met je zijn en jou nemen zal niet meer gebeuren dat weet ik maar fock it ik kan toch dromen? Laat me dromen. Elke dag word ik wakker met jou gedachte in me hoofd. Elke dag denk ik half in slaap dat je mij hebt gebeld of dat ik je heb gesproken. Is dat liefde of gewenning. Het rare is als ik je had wou ik je niet zo graag en nu dat ik je niet meer heb, wil ik je zo ing graag. Ik moet weg van je blijven, ik ben een en al slecht nieuws voor jou.. Mis je poonio
  4. you can hide behind the direct reasons for our BU. but please recognize your part in all of our drama. maybe one day you will realize you werent the most perfect of girls for me
  5. i just read back all my posts of the last 2/3 years on enotalone about you and me.. wow i was in a world of hurt with you and still i rather was with you than alone. we both never knew when enough was enough. im sorry for all the hurt. im sorry for those years we spent on each other. sometimes i wish i never met you but i had my greatest moments of you with you but also my greatest moments of sorrow and feelings of being alone.. a week after our break up and i still cant decide wether its a good thing or a bad thing. i do know that you never deserved me treating you like this on the very end. but hey,,, you treated me like for the last 2 years so i guess i was entitled to some bad behaviour at the end hate you love you.. its complicated
  6. the guilt of what happened between us is eating at me everyday. I cant believe things worked out this way between us. 4 years of being lovers and freinds and now mortal enemies. i hope you can forgive me one day, as I tried to forgive you. I know now i walked away from our problems. maybe not man enough to make a clean break, maybe not wanting to realize i stopped loving you a long time ago. you have every right to be angry but do try to realize you hurt me so much and I couldnt let you go. thats why i took you back every time. last time i saw you, i didnt listen to what you were saying I could only think how beautiful you were and how sexy you still were. I know I shattered your heart just like you shattered mine. Hope one day we can forgive each other. until that time I will not need anyone else in my life. i dont think i can ever love anyone as much as I loved you. damn girl, you were so wrong for me in so many ways and so right in so many other ways. you left me twice, left me in the cold an dark. you slapped me and i did not nothing. when i did what i did i just told myself how bad you were to me not realizing that what i was doing was far worse. i know i ed up i know this time its too late and we will never be able to get back together still i keep hoping. Still i catch myself thinking what if ? Maybe the No contact will help me heal. maybe the no contact will make you forget the bad things and remember the good. or maybe im just fooling myself I hated you for leaving me You have hated me for being selfish. We are even now. I hate you I love you. and its killing me
  7. i got back with my ex.. TWICE and were still together now. getting back together does happen however im kinda doubting if it was the right thing. it takes a lot of work and forgiving to really make it work a second time around, what ever happened before.
  8. Speaking from expereince : NC helps but being on ena too much doenst. Im not in NC anymore after 50 days. I am ok and were trying to work things out. NC helps you heal, that i can guarantee. However, if you want to make anything work a second time around NC will not help. Communication is key for any good relationship.
  9. So we spoke 6 hours on the phone after 2 months of NC. Youre not over me, im not over you. You tried to make excuses why you broke up or maybe you actually believe in them. Hope your ok with those reasons. For sure you wont find a guy like me again. Young, ambitious, good physique, did everything for you, left you sweet notes, put glow in the dark starts in your bedroom when you were out, flew accross the world to see you for 1 DAY, held you when you were sad, made a difficult exam for you (at the risk of being kicked out of uni), gave you the most awesome gifts evver. Your family told you we would get back together. I dont think so, there is only so much a man can take. Dumping me the first time was understandable but this time, the second time, it made no sense. You made your bed now **** off and die in it
  10. had almost 2 months of NC then she contaced me, I handled it well. just a phone convo of 6 hours. i didnt agree tho seeing her , speaking to her didnt mess with my head and made me show that me doing NC is for ME. theres nothing left but old memories and we both need to let go. hope she realized the same after a longer period of of no contact. i wish her the best
  11. have had NC for about a month now i guess. today my ex blocked me on whatsapp, i cant see her profile pic anymore. hahahaha funny that she blocked me today of all days. either she is still bothered by our BU or she has profile pic she doesnt want me to see. either way. im giving myself another 2 weeks to contact her..
  12. days are getting back to normal. i cant seem to get my attention of OTHER girls. you were right i woould be over you withing 2 months. cool
  13. Guess what? Today i saw a new girl, thats nr 3 since you left me, which i just know is into me. Its gonna be easy to replace you and hopefully ill get a got value for you when i indefinitely you exchange you for all 3 of thoses girls
  14. No more contact since your last drunk e-mail saying you cried so much ? Hmmm guess you didnt care enough to call me when you sobered up. I have 2 girls waiting in line to do the nasty with me .. Guess you were right, within 2 months ill be ballsdeep with some other girls. Only one i want is you, but you could never understand that. Im single so ill probably do both of them and treat them like objects, funny enough if you treat m like that they keep wanting more. When i treated you good, you didnt want anything to do with me after 3 years. That makes me wonder should i ve treated u like all them other girls ? You would probably be still around if i did. Silly of me thinking that treating the girl you love like a pprincess would make her see how much you love her. Back to player mode it will be a few years until i can trust a woman again, thanks to you. And when i do i wont make the same mistakes i made with you. Not one woman will ever make me feel like you made feel. Misearable, not good enough while all that time you hit the jackpot with me. Im smart, handsome, ambitious, attentive, sensitive at times and a bad boy at other times. But no you chose to let me go for what ? Some bull**** reasons ? Yeah, just admit it, you didnt love me anymore, instead of claiming " youre letting the love of your life slip away" if i was that you wouldnt have dumped me. Anyhow, take care. And when that girl walks in here next week ill give her a slice of heaven in your name
  15. Nc 15 days.. No initiated contact like 36 days. Im feeling ok i guess. Wish she would show up on my doorstep crying and saying she wanted me back tho. Aint gonna happen, so im just staying NC
  16. sundays are the worst. remember i used to wake up at your place and we just spent hours in bed doing nothing. all the nice foods being prepared and you making my favorite toast and just be together and doing nothing those were good times and i will always keep them with me. i could say i hope your ok but i dont feel that way now, sorry
  17. All my family is asking about you.. Cant say i dont miss you and its hard to talk about you as " my ex "
  18. By the way, you will not get another guy with such looks, future and smarts again. Those guys will only treat you as a play thing. I was your first, so i know i will always be somewhere in your mind Good luck youre gonna. Need it
  19. Whats ip girl Im wondering why you did when you did it? What made you make that decision for us? Why then ? Was there someone else ? Was the guilt becoming too mucb? Was i getting annoying ? Did you think i wanted you to do that ? I made very clear for 2 days i didnt want to give you up. After thtat i swallowed my pride and stopped contact. So here we are now, a little bit more than a month after the BU. So what happened ? I started working out, seeing friends so much more, eating right, uni started again, saw your mom to drop off your stuff.she told me that i was always so good for you, and i was. One day you will see that Who is gonna surprise you with a new ceiling full of glow in the dark startsv make a vid for our 2 year anniversary, fly accross 2 oceans spend 1200 usd just to see you for 1 day. Just to get slapped in my face I think im entering the anger stage. I actually fantasised of shaking the **** out of you cuz you deserve being told the truth. I could send a e-mail but f that you dont deserve more of my time and thoughts. One day i will be over you and that day i long for.
  20. nice whatsapp status message.. your love be frozen in time? what are you trying to tell me? or is it for some other guy? i dont think so. if you really having such a hard time with this BU ... CALL ME i wont bite. i didnt respond to your last email because obv you were drunk and i dont encourage that behavior. if you want a real talk, call me when your sober. im not in NC, but hell i aint the one who is gonna contact you first. you broke up iwth me .. TWICE. Remember i do! you have never made a guy cry so much and it seemed like you were so calm and cool about it . damn girl where the love at
  21. Im lying her in bed, wondering if youre ever gonna call or e-mail again. You have tried to make some contact but no real efforts. Emailing me out of anger does not count Emailing when youre drunk doesnt count. If you loved you would either leave me alone or show up on my doorstep in the pooring rain. Both of those scenarios are not going to happen. I know you too well after 3 years. When was the last time you did something for me? When was the last time you were supportive of me instead of *****ing of how it could affect you. Love made me blind to the fact that i loved you for you looks, not for your inside. Becasue your inside was rotten after our first year together. You always convinced me i was wrong and i was the bad guy. Now guess what, this bad guy is leaving to the other side of rthe world to start a new life. While you stay here in mediocracy town, with your bs education and your bs job. Good luck with thay. You couldve had it all but you didnt realize hwat you had. Thank you for making me realize by breaking up twice with me that you are not the one for me. Im off to bigger and better things. And btw, use those looks quickly, cuz i know in 10 years you will look exactly like your mother does right noww. And guess what she is alone so take care, and go f yourself . Mazzellllll
  22. We tried getting back together after 5 months BU. I shouldve seen she wasnt ready for it and only longued for what we had instead of for something better, stronger. Our reconciliation was about 5/6 months. She dumped me again, the issues were not resolved and i was left once again with a broken heart. Talking about being a heavy " one down" . Anyway, we got back together for a while.
  23. ey you Been up all night, thinking about you a little too. I really wonder if i should contact you but what do i have left to say? We made the mistake to hope for the old relationship to be back when in fact we should have been working on a new better relationship. The love was there, the years of being together was ther but the trust is gone. I get that, and dont want it to be like that but i cant change how you feel. Im sorry for the hurt you feel. Whether its my or your fault doesnt matter anymore. I do miss you, i do love you and wish things were different. Its better to have lost and loved then to not loved at all. Take care my surinam princess
  24. First time i dreamed of another girl, and i really liked her too. Too bad she is just a dream.. See, im getting over you every day a little more!!
  25. Girl, Please stop contacting me if youre not serious. Ive come to a point where i doubt i would even take you back. Your last e-mail hurt me and did me good at the same time. Hope youre a little miserable. Funny how my image of you can do a 180 in just a little short than a month. You are beautifull and ccan be very loving but theres something aint right between us or how we affect each other
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