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jemoeder

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  1. you taught me so much. and really im grateful for all those years. im sorry for the jealousy and my over sensitive nature at times. im sorry i gave you the impression nothing ever was good enough, that i didnt spend enough money on you, that i couldnt always be open and honest about what was going on with me, that i wasnt man enough to tell you enough is enough when you walked all over me and trampled my heart. deep down i know i was good to you and had good intentions up till 3.5 years into our RS.
  2. want to call you today. still scared what i will find on the other side of the tel line ... is it egotistical of me to want to know how your attitude towards me is ? and if i call you .. and lets say you are open to talk, and we work out all of our troubles.. is there really a future for us ? all these questions keep me from contacting you.. but what if you secretly want me to call you ? just to show you i havent forgotten you.. will my call make you feel better or just throw you back in anger?
  3. Be glad im a life long user of EnA otherwise i would have contacted you with so many other all these times. Anyway, you said you wanted to maintain contact. I sought contact a few times but your reactions were harsh to say the least. I guess you really arent welcoming my tries. Ik hoop dat het goed met je gaat, en dat je alles zal vinden wat je zoekt. Ik hou van je meisje, en elke dag heb ik spijt. sorry bebe, ik wil zo graag met je zijn en jou nemen zal niet meer gebeuren dat weet ik maar fock it ik kan toch dromen? Laat me dromen. Elke dag word ik wakker met jou gedachte in me hoofd. Elke dag denk ik half in slaap dat je mij hebt gebeld of dat ik je heb gesproken. Is dat liefde of gewenning. Het rare is als ik je had wou ik je niet zo graag en nu dat ik je niet meer heb, wil ik je zo ing graag. Ik moet weg van je blijven, ik ben een en al slecht nieuws voor jou.. Mis je poonio
  4. you can hide behind the direct reasons for our BU. but please recognize your part in all of our drama. maybe one day you will realize you werent the most perfect of girls for me
  5. i just read back all my posts of the last 2/3 years on enotalone about you and me.. wow i was in a world of hurt with you and still i rather was with you than alone. we both never knew when enough was enough. im sorry for all the hurt. im sorry for those years we spent on each other. sometimes i wish i never met you but i had my greatest moments of you with you but also my greatest moments of sorrow and feelings of being alone.. a week after our break up and i still cant decide wether its a good thing or a bad thing. i do know that you never deserved me treating you like this on the very end. but hey,,, you treated me like for the last 2 years so i guess i was entitled to some bad behaviour at the end hate you love you.. its complicated
  6. the guilt of what happened between us is eating at me everyday. I cant believe things worked out this way between us. 4 years of being lovers and freinds and now mortal enemies. i hope you can forgive me one day, as I tried to forgive you. I know now i walked away from our problems. maybe not man enough to make a clean break, maybe not wanting to realize i stopped loving you a long time ago. you have every right to be angry but do try to realize you hurt me so much and I couldnt let you go. thats why i took you back every time. last time i saw you, i didnt listen to what you were saying I could only think how beautiful you were and how sexy you still were. I know I shattered your heart just like you shattered mine. Hope one day we can forgive each other. until that time I will not need anyone else in my life. i dont think i can ever love anyone as much as I loved you. damn girl, you were so wrong for me in so many ways and so right in so many other ways. you left me twice, left me in the cold an dark. you slapped me and i did not nothing. when i did what i did i just told myself how bad you were to me not realizing that what i was doing was far worse. i know i ed up i know this time its too late and we will never be able to get back together still i keep hoping. Still i catch myself thinking what if ? Maybe the No contact will help me heal. maybe the no contact will make you forget the bad things and remember the good. or maybe im just fooling myself I hated you for leaving me You have hated me for being selfish. We are even now. I hate you I love you. and its killing me
  7. i got back with my ex.. TWICE and were still together now. getting back together does happen however im kinda doubting if it was the right thing. it takes a lot of work and forgiving to really make it work a second time around, what ever happened before.
  8. Speaking from expereince : NC helps but being on ena too much doenst. Im not in NC anymore after 50 days. I am ok and were trying to work things out. NC helps you heal, that i can guarantee. However, if you want to make anything work a second time around NC will not help. Communication is key for any good relationship.
  9. So we spoke 6 hours on the phone after 2 months of NC. Youre not over me, im not over you. You tried to make excuses why you broke up or maybe you actually believe in them. Hope your ok with those reasons. For sure you wont find a guy like me again. Young, ambitious, good physique, did everything for you, left you sweet notes, put glow in the dark starts in your bedroom when you were out, flew accross the world to see you for 1 DAY, held you when you were sad, made a difficult exam for you (at the risk of being kicked out of uni), gave you the most awesome gifts evver. Your family told you we would get back together. I dont think so, there is only so much a man can take. Dumping me the first time was understandable but this time, the second time, it made no sense. You made your bed now **** off and die in it
  10. had almost 2 months of NC then she contaced me, I handled it well. just a phone convo of 6 hours. i didnt agree tho seeing her , speaking to her didnt mess with my head and made me show that me doing NC is for ME. theres nothing left but old memories and we both need to let go. hope she realized the same after a longer period of of no contact. i wish her the best
  11. have had NC for about a month now i guess. today my ex blocked me on whatsapp, i cant see her profile pic anymore. hahahaha funny that she blocked me today of all days. either she is still bothered by our BU or she has profile pic she doesnt want me to see. either way. im giving myself another 2 weeks to contact her..
  12. days are getting back to normal. i cant seem to get my attention of OTHER girls. you were right i woould be over you withing 2 months. cool
  13. Guess what? Today i saw a new girl, thats nr 3 since you left me, which i just know is into me. Its gonna be easy to replace you and hopefully ill get a got value for you when i indefinitely you exchange you for all 3 of thoses girls
  14. No more contact since your last drunk e-mail saying you cried so much ? Hmmm guess you didnt care enough to call me when you sobered up. I have 2 girls waiting in line to do the nasty with me .. Guess you were right, within 2 months ill be ballsdeep with some other girls. Only one i want is you, but you could never understand that. Im single so ill probably do both of them and treat them like objects, funny enough if you treat m like that they keep wanting more. When i treated you good, you didnt want anything to do with me after 3 years. That makes me wonder should i ve treated u like all them other girls ? You would probably be still around if i did. Silly of me thinking that treating the girl you love like a pprincess would make her see how much you love her. Back to player mode it will be a few years until i can trust a woman again, thanks to you. And when i do i wont make the same mistakes i made with you. Not one woman will ever make me feel like you made feel. Misearable, not good enough while all that time you hit the jackpot with me. Im smart, handsome, ambitious, attentive, sensitive at times and a bad boy at other times. But no you chose to let me go for what ? Some bull**** reasons ? Yeah, just admit it, you didnt love me anymore, instead of claiming " youre letting the love of your life slip away" if i was that you wouldnt have dumped me. Anyhow, take care. And when that girl walks in here next week ill give her a slice of heaven in your name
  15. Nc 15 days.. No initiated contact like 36 days. Im feeling ok i guess. Wish she would show up on my doorstep crying and saying she wanted me back tho. Aint gonna happen, so im just staying NC
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