Getting back together really does happen!

[pettypink]

It's such a gorgeous day out! Just wanted to bring a little story I heard today for all you folks who are going through a tough time.

 

Friend of mine dated her boyfriend from first year of uni until her last year - so they dated around 3-4 years - and they broke up I think earlier in her first semester of fourth year (so Sept-Dec 2013 sometime). They just got back together recently. I don't know much of the details but she did sleep around a bit after the break up and he did try to get her back up until March. Not sure about NC/LC.

 

Just a note, since I post so many GBT stories - sometimes it works out for couples, but sometimes it doesn't and you just have to hope that you can come out as a stronger person and be happier with or without that ex. I promise the tough times will pass as hard as it seems now.

[sunflower87]

I realised I actually have some stories to share but I was moping too much to realise!

 

I've found that with most long term relationships there is some form of reconciliation somewhere down the line, not immediately though. Even with me where I thought there was no chance! Most of my friends in LTRs have had one break up where it seemed like the end completely, and they got back together or moved on to a better person.

 

Here's two off the top of my head, one where my friend was the dumper, the other where another friend was the dumpee.

 

1) One of my best friends at University had been with her boyfriend since they turned 17. They both came to university together but she found that the relationship wasn't fulfilling her/going downhill because of various things. In her second year of university they broke up and he was devastated.

He did all of the classic "dumpee" things, calling, pleading, crying. He even asked me to pass on a letter he had handwritten to her. She started seeing another guy for a little while she had liked when she was with her ex but realised there was something holding her back (she found herself unable to take things further and couldn't connect). She tried to make it work but she ended things. About six months down the line she got back together with her ex, they moved in together and are still together 7 years later. He had worked on the issues that pushed them apart (v. severe anxiety, clinginess, etc) and they seem happier than ever. They realised that LTRs have ups and downs and work on things as a team.

 

2) Another university friend of mine broke up with her long term boyfriend within the first month of university (he was studying elsewhere). I remember hearing her crying about it in her room. I'm unsure why they broke up, possibly because of distance making feelings fade on his side. She was amazing, picked herself up and didn't let it get to her for long. She pushed herself into studying but also being social and enjoying herself, she also started running and getting fit. She had a short lived "rebound" a few months later but didn't find it gave her the same connection (I don't know if the ex found out about this guy). After the summer of our first year at university her and her ex reconciled, and are still together now, 8 years later. He is more devoted to her than ever and seeing them together is amazing because they just seem to fit.

 

I think in both these situations despite my friends being dumpees/dumpers, they just tried their best to move on and improve themselves and eventually reconciliation happened. They both did NC.

 

Not contacting your ex helps massively in both healing yourself and letting your ex know what life is like without you. You can't predict the future but you can predict a time when you'll be better, either with or without them but only if you let yourself improve as a person.

[BigKK]

A very close friend of mine was in a relationship for a year with a girl. Her girlfriend broke up with her out of the blue, (in order to sleep with another girl) My friend was shattered and completely dazed. For a year and a half, she just casually dated around. She moved in with another girl (insert uhaul joke) And after a year and a half she started talking to her ex after bumping into her at a farmer's market.

 

They kept running into each other and kept talking. After about a month of that, they got back together. She was super excited and happy. I wasn't too thrilled about it personally since I thought her ex was manipulative. But they moved in together now, they're married. Her ex made her sell her car. Had her cut off contact with most of her friends (including me). So last I heard, she's "happy" but secretly miserable, but put all of her eggs in this ex basket.

 

 

So yeah, reconciliation happens...but sometimes it shouldn't, and often times I think people make wrong decisions simply because they can't deal with loneliness. This is one of those cases.

[autumnsun]

I can't believe I didn't remember this story....

 

An ex of mine - who is now a decent friend - dated a girl back in HS/right after graduation for quite some time. Things went the normal route of most HS relationships and ended in a break up after two years. The girl was devastated, as the guy was a right jerk about the whole thing. She threw herself into partying, dating and eventually moved on with her life, having two long term relationships over the course of the next few years. He, on the other hand, went through a string of bad relationships, rushed into things (including dating me for a very brief period! - both our faults), joined the Army and generally kept out of touch with her. I'm friends with both, so saw how the anger and resentment of their first messy break up had subsided and they simply started to remember all the good. However, thinking he was over her, and she him, he ended up marrying a girl back in 2010 that he had known a short while who he proclaimed at the time was the real 'love of his life'. The marriage started to sour for a number of reasons, one of which I believe was because he started to realize how much he had loved his first girlfriend and how much he regretted his decision to leave her. He had also done a ton of personal growth and maturing through this period which I saw first hand. 6 or 7 years after their break up, with minimal contact between them and after separating from his now ex wife and filing for divorce, he contacted me asking if I thought their was a chance for them and if so, could i help put them in touch. He came to visit, they hung out a few times and slowly started to reconcile... a few months later they were back together permanently and are now married with a baby.

[rva892]

Anyone have stories of getting back together with an ex who just wanted to be friends or whose romantic feelings had gone?

[mg22]

Yes getting back does happen, but you have to deal with many issues. Either it can be positive or negative depending on the b/u. It does take a lot of work to statr over it all depends on each individual problem. Sometimes i believe its better to meet someone new and venture new objectives.

[Pats75]

There are no rules to all of it, everyone is an individual. I had the biggest heartbreak come back to me before but it was so late that I had 0 interest in anything other than "hanging out" occasionally. She came back around in the right fashion, had herself worked out, I could tell that if it was sooner it could've been successful but just too late and way after I healed. I a friend that is getting married in a month, he's back with his ex, after a year, they broke up due to her one day just kicking him out with no regard for his well being. She went and had fun for a year and came back wanting the full deal, he did it because "he was at the age and wanted to settle down" - example of shouldn't. Then there is another friend, she was a bit on the younger side, was with her bf for 2 years they moved in, the whole 9 yards, she freaked, started fights, finally she ended it. He reached out to her 6 months later, they talked started over, that was 5 years ago, and they are genuinely good and happy. Never know.

[Tb1983]

hi everyone. I hope your all good. Here Is my story. I have been with my ex for the past 5 and half years...the relationship started on a bad foot due to me already having a girlfriend at the same time and was seeing both of them. My ex new about the girlfriend at the time and has never fully let it to.....we have two children together. Around two years ago I got in a incident with a female that I shouldn't of and confessed to my ex..after a though few days she agreed for us to stay...during them 2 years I guess I didn't prove that I was making up for my 2nd chance and took everything for granted. We came back of holiday in April and the next day she said I think we should split up....my heart was broken in two and still is..I have done all the nesscary begging pleading and promises even when I knew I shouldn't . I have argued a swell and she clearly stated that she wanted space away....I have sinced moved out and have discovered that she has already been seeing this guy who is a work acquaintance and has been sleeping with him...just don't know what to do. Any advice

[mg22]

It goes to prove that some people cant handle being cheated on. Its time to let go and maybe take this as a learning experience for the next relationship. He who cheats will eventually be the loser. Relationships are based on trust, once trust is broken few times its very hard to mend.

[Seankbq]

Bumpin it up!

[miki1611]

This thread is really helpful!

 

A story from a friend of mine:

 

She met her current bf in high school, they broke up and she moved halfway around the world. They dated other people and kept contact as friends. After 5 years, she found out that he was in love with another girl so she went back to win him back. Now they've been together for about 2 years.

 

I hope I can post my own success story one day. It's been 2 months and I feel like there is no way we will reconcile. Even if we do, I think at this point, we will break up again because there's a lot of things I'm resentful about. I feel so hopeless sometimes and I will come here to give myself strength that whatever is meant to be will work out perfectly. I've been trying to move on but I can't help missing him.

[Tawny]

A new friend of mine was dumped by his gf of 2.5 years a couple of weeks ago. He didn't handle things well, had a one night stand that he regretted, and they slept together when she said she'd get back with him (she didn't). He'd expected that, started dating other girls. She came back, begging, last week, so they're together again. I'm not sure how long they'll last, but last I knew he was hoping to marry her, so who knows.

[Kai2014]

Thread started very well and uplifting.Yes one has to be careful not to interpret facts as one would like life to be but openly see the present and just work on oneself and hope for a good new foundation (if with someone one really loved why not, has worked some times).

I have a nice story to tell: father's friend happily married with 3 kids now end 60s.Found out when he was young his gf ran out of him for someone more adventurous as she didn't want to see life already ending aged 25.He was devastated but just meditated a lot and worked on improving himself with no thought of her.Over a year later she returned and they tried.Now 40 years very happily together. Guess I'm alleviating my own pain by telling this story but why not hope for the best for both...day 9 NC...

[venus4u]

My husband and I broke off and were apart for almost three years before we decided to get back and get married. Sometimes, we have to be apart in order to appreciate the value of the other. I think this is what happened to us. And now I could say, we are happily married and our relationship is getting stronger wiith time. We are on our 12th year of marriage life now.

[jphcbpa]

My husband and I broke off and were apart for almost three years before we decided to get back and get married. Sometimes, we have to be apart in order to appreciate the value of the other. I think this is what happened to us. And now I could say, we are happily married and our relationship is getting stronger wiith time. We are on our 12th year of marriage life now.

 

congrats to you!!!! did you have kids that kept you in touch or where you LC or NC? What was the turning point for you/him or both?

[Mangiafuoco]

The reconciliation story of Love Bytes from LoveShack (link removed)

 

 

Beginning of reconciliation?

 

26th February 2013, 9:47 PM

Ok, I won't go into all the relationship details, but my ex of 3 years ended things with me at the beginning of December. No big bombshells, just little things that I did that added up, a rough living situation, stresses...etc.,

 

I never went NC. I went LC for a while, but we always talked a little, and actually met up in the middle of January just to hang out and see where we were at.

 

Well lately we'd been talking more and more, and had a long talk till 3 AM Saturday night, where we both kind of laid it on the line.

 

Took her out to dinner tonight, kept it light, then went back to her place and talked for a while. Discussed where we were at, and what we want...etc.,

 

Well, she wants to start talking and hanging out more to workout the relationship. Says she's confident we can work everything out, and wants to get back together...but she wants to take it slow. Which is probably the smart approach.

 

Of course I'm not getting overexcited or confident, but things are really looking like they may work out. I've been in plenty of failed relationships, and I've been thrown breadcrumbs before, but I think this is sincere.

 

We'll see...I'll keep you guys posted.

 

Thanks for all the support.

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12th March 2013, 9:32 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by LadyAly View Post

I really appreciate this post. I'm going through something similar and seeing how it's been working out for you is great! It gives me a little bit of hope. I hope things continue down the path that you wish and keep us posted!

Thanks.

Things are getting better. Still a little awkward, almost like we're first dating again. Had dinner a couple weeks ago, went snowboarding last weekend, went to the movies Wednesday, and hung out and watched TV on Sunday. Heading over there tonight to hang out, and probably going out with her Friday too.

 

It's still not back to where it needs to be yet, but I think it's headed in that direction. We're still discussing where things went wrong, and we both realize it, and feel that things have changed for the better...so we'll see...

 

Thanks for the support LS!

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23rd June 2014, 7:57 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Skalabanan View Post

Make sure you do keep us updated!

As long as the issues that caused the initial breakup have been sorted you'll be golden.

Just make sure you enjoy your time together, everything else will slot into place.

 

Ok, big update...

I'll keep this relatively short, but we've now lived together for 10 months, been engaged for a little over 4 months, bought a house in April, and just booked the hall for our wedding in June of 2015.

 

So if it's worth it, and you didn't do something stupid (cheat, abuse...etc.,), sometimes there's still a chance...

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25 June 2014, 9:34AM

She dated a guy when we were broken up. I let it run its course...we were broken up and she had every right to see whoever she wanted.

 

We ended up broken up for a total of about 3 months, and it worked out. I stayed in light contact, and she knew I was there if she needed me and that was about it. That may or may not work for other situations though.

[vividhope]

Hey , Im new here and thats maybe not a proper forum to post in my story ,but somehow I like it after seeing all these hope-gibing stories so .. I ll be quick

 

I was dating an amazing girl for 4 months ..we were spending a lot of time together ,sometimes for 10+ hours a day ,so you may say things were intense..After those 4 months she said to me "i dont have feelings for you anymore"..

That was month ago..during that month we had some fb contact ,mostly I was starting it ,little chat "how are you" etc..maybe one talk when I harrow her a little ,but then I said "Ok,I see you dont want to have contact with me so I wont talk to you anymore" on which she responded "Thats not the case,you can speak to me"..an hour later she called me asking for some advice on smtn...

 

anyway..

 

One of the key thing missing from many posts in this thread is the reason of the breakup..

Have anybody know such/similar situation where one of the side's feeling are gone and then returned?

 

Thank you for reading and opinions

[sparkychops]

I'm halfway through this thread.. I've a couple of getting back together stories!

 

My friends cousin was with a guy for years, they had a child, they broke up, he moved out. He began dating someone else for close to a year, that ended. Not sure of the ins and outs as to why they broke up or got back together, but they are getting married this month!

 

Another friend of mines parents broke up twice, for over a year each time, and now they are happily married for almost 30 years!

 

 

 

I broke up with my first love after three years, I just wasn't feeling it anymore, I rebounded straight away, and we didn't speak for about three months. He reached out to me, we began talking, there were talks of reconciliation, I definitely wanted him back. He eventually decided he didn't want me back, but dumpers do sometimes come back!

 

My most recent ex and I broke up before, albeit, we were in constant contact (there was a lot going on at the time) we gave things another go. Unfortunately it didn't last as we hadn't worked on the issues that were there in the first place. Currently BU 2 months, one of them NC, one of them very very LC (me getting in touch, him responding but being hesitant!) We met up last week to talk, and are doing so again tomorrow. Am in two minds about asking him if he wants to work things out but here's hoping!

[Brotherhood67]

Wasn't sure I would ever post on this thread but here I am :

 

A female friend of my girlfriend broke up with her man after 8 years, then they drifted apart for some times (years).

 

After this time and much abuse from men, they reconciled. This was 4 months ago.

 

Now she is pregnant ! Just discovered it yesterday ^-^

[aphrodite13]

I am looking forward to getting back together but I am confuse of what is happening

 

I am a dumper. He wanted LC but I went for NC. Blocked him. He knows I love him so but I was just forced to let go because of his parents. After a month of NC, I asked him out to see whether we can be friends after break up like what he wanted. When I was about to ask him out for coffee, he immediately offered to pick me up at work, invite me for dinner and send me home. We had dinner and he sent me home. We didn’t talk much about the break up. He told me about his job and how he was doing. When I alighted from his car he said “see you again”, I did not answer. I felt so sad, I love him so much. We can’t be friends; I want him back but how? I never contacted him again, he didn’t contacted me back neither.

He was never out of my mind since we broke up. After almost 4 months texted him, he message back and asked how am I doing. I ask him when is he free to meet me because I got something for him (I bought him his favorite toy when I went for a vacation). He immediately said that he can pick me up after work and he asked me out for dinner. He reached my work place very early. Went out for dinner and he sent me back home. We never talk about the break up. Before I alight in his car I hugged him and said I miss him. He said he miss me too and see you soon. I didn’t message him anymore after that night. He texted me after 4 days, he want to give me a Champaign for my dad. So he picked me up again. We went dinner and watch movie then he sent me home. We were like old friends, we laughed, we cracked jokes. We never talk about the past. He texted me that night to make sure that I was already inside the house. 6 days had passed but he hasn’t contacted me yet, I didn’t contact him either. He always shows up everytime I asked him out, is it out of pity that’s why he go out with me? Does he still loves me? Will there be a chance to get back together?

[Seankbq]

This post doesn't belong in here aphrodite13...

 

...And it sounds like it. He's just guarding his heart. You did leave him after all.

[marphtwo]

Hey guys!

 

Are there any success stories of shorter term relationships (like 7 mos) getting back together?

 

I see alot about the long terms reconciling but not much about the shorter ones.

[Troyalan1996]

So what if i still feel the way i do about my ex? Should i contact her at that time and tell her how i feel? We just broke up not to long ago and she went right into something. I dropped contact completely.

[sharky988]

So what if i still feel the way i do about my ex? Should i contact her at that time and tell her how i feel? We just broke up not to long ago and she went right into something. I dropped contact completely.

 

No you shouldn't contact her!!!

 

Dude, every single response to every single thread you've posted here has urged you NOT to contact her.

 

Missing her doesn't mean you're "meant to be" -- it only means you haven't had enough time apart to stop missing her yet.

 

And you shouldn't read this thread, because your ex is awful and dating other guys and you need to separate from her emotionally -- not cling to false hopes of getting back together with her.

[person100]

Hey guys!

 

Are there any success stories of shorter term relationships (like 7 mos) getting back together?

 

I see alot about the long terms reconciling but not much about the shorter ones.

 

Hey there

 

I was in a relationship for about 6 months....he broke up with me out of the blue (turns out the reason were his own depression related issues), and I went straight into NC. My ex initiated contact with me almost a month post-breakup, and now it seems we're definitely on the road to officially getting back together. Were you in a shorter-term relationship that ended? I think reconciliation really depends on the reasoning behind the break-up in the first place.