Getting back together really does happen!

[pettypink]

A couple I know was together for maybe 2 years (might be less). Earlier this year they went on vacation but I think they were fighting throughout it. It was bad, he threw her out of their hotel room for no reason really. He's always been kinda mean and a little bit of a tool towards her. She always stuck by him. They fought again a few weeks later at a wedding and she broke up with him (around Jan/Feb). He was a mess afterwards, saying how much he missed her. He started to change and realized how much he appreciated her. He would try to get back together with her but she said no, she was sick of dealing with him.

 

Last month, I saw them together and they were officially back together. No idea how, but they are. From what I've heard about him, he really got his stuff together after the break up and started to realize what he had lost by his behaviour.

 

But who knows if it'll last. Just keep improving yourself and anything could happen.

[imconfused11]

mine is complicated but..

we split up for 6 months she filed for divorce.. the week i move out....and few days before divorce was finalized she called me we got back had a beautiful boy and where happy for 3 years....

same thing happened again...we split up again for the same reasons as 3 years ago.

will ever get back together....i would say there is a good chance she will come back.....but i cant live like this.

so on my side are minimals

 

Would you mind if I ask what the reason was for breaking up both times?

[NICEMAN99]

the same...she got some compliments from ( first time a coworker...second time from a mutual married friend of us)

they both told her she is fun and beautiful (which she is) ...and every time she gets told that she is this and that she falls in love...

i tell you this......i treat her with respect try to give everything i can.....cook for her..take her out ...but she is always looking for butterflies....we been together 18 years so there arent any butterfliues with me,

[flashi86]

This was really great to read. My ex ended things between us a few months ago because she was and still is suffering from depression. It really crushed me because i did everything in my power to make her happy by being there for her, surprising her with presents and other things and being rejected really impacted on my well being. We've been chatting for the past 3 months now and meeting up for coffee every now & again but we arn't together or anything like that. I really want to be with her again because i'm still in love and i'm very understanding of her situation. I know you shouldn't rely on hope but its all i have in me

[Newday101]

a small update on my situation...We broke up in April but didn't officially call it quits until July. He met someone and was off and running. Never heard from him. Guess what? They didn't work out and guess is who calling me? He hasn't asked to get back together but he texts me almost everyday to see how I'm doing, if I might want to get together. But we don't...I've made huge steps to let go of him, as hard as it's been. My belief is he sees me slipping away and wants to now hold on...Believe me when I say I never thought I'd hear from him again, I didn't. He was VERY clear it was over. Didn't love me, didn't want me. It was ugly at the end. And here we are...

[GlingyOne]

First of all, thank you for every1 that has posted here, its been amazing reading for few days, thank you a lot, its given me hope and even brought smile to my face few times going through this all.

 

Heres my 2 stories. One with reletively happy ending other has not ended yet in my eyes. Not just yet.

Sorry if their long but i needed to vent and as this thread is not getting much new stories i think it guves everybody smthung to read

 

1) she was my first love. At times i thought its going to be no question she be standing beside me rest of life. We started dating at age of around 18 ish and we dated 4 years. I went 100 miles away to other city for work training, she came visit few times but i understood she had stsrted going parties a lot in old town. So after my training we went back to old city to celebrate her birthday, and that was the last night we were together. She ignored me few days after that and once she decided to answer just told its over. Ofc, i begged, called even stalked her house. The full crazy stuff tbh. Mb few weeks later i was doung my evening round with car around city i noticed her in one restaurant with another guy. I went nuts, confronted her etc. It was last time we spoke if i remember correctly. That was followed by year depression and drinking by me. Anyway later i learned that dude was reason she left me- thought a grass is greener there but surprise surprise. Mb 3-5 months later turned out dude had got her preagnant and started acting physical.

Ofc i was still in pain. About year and 3 months after BU i met extremely hot girl who i fell deeply. I had gotten over my ex. Ofc then the ex started txting, her sister called for me to call her etc. She obv wanted me back as she had ended things with her GIGS guy. But i had moved on

*girl dumps boy (due GIGS)

*boy does everything he can including the stalking

* girl breaks up with gigs guy

*boy gets over her /heals fully and meets someone way better

*same time girl sees what she had tries to reconnect

*boy answers those txts friendly and tells he is off for summer labour day weekend with female company

 

2) second girl i talked about earlier. A true catch in my eyes. We dated 3 and almost half years. We lived together for 2.5 years. I had never fallen so deeply in love, neither had she and she had blenty of relationships before me. The butterflies in stomach. Full circle of romantic stuff you see only in romance movies. It was all there. We didnt fight, we had arguments but we got over them by discussing it was just pure and nice. I had some glingy issues as she had at beginning but as her social life grew bigger she stsrted to see issues even when there were none. Started to blaim workstress on me etc. We had planned a baby by end of year when we were going to 3 week exotic trip other side of world etc. I still got the tickets.

Anyway. Out if the blue 3 weeks ago she sayd she has depression, sadness and has had enough. Just like that and she left!

Went to live with one if her girlfriends. I called every evening to hear her voice etc. 1 week later she came by cold as stone told theres no feelings and she came to discuss what happens with things we bought together. Kitchen and livingroom furniture etc. I didnt have answer she left i go NC

5 days pass she calls. I ignore, hour pass she txt that was wondering what i do with tuckets fir trip. I ignore, next mirning she txt if im not communicating no longer. I ignore!

Comes monday again. 2weeks from BU she calls i cant ignore, she wants to meet. I accept at evening in

Our flat. She comes and is herself again, the lovable her not the one i saw week earlier. She explains some stuff we cry together i tell i can change etc. She tells the i love you but not in love line. Then we hug. Later i learn she wanted the hug to see if theres something there. (We went through hurtful stuff for hour, crued etc and she thinking mb theres smthing there? Goish) she told only felt sorry for me during hug as i later learned. Week earlier i didnt even get the ilybnilwu line so i felt better. Lol

Well it took another week for her to state her wishes - wants money for stuff etc.

 

Now its been 3 weeks. I been going therapy once- going again tomorrow. Im going there to understand the flaws in me, she tells me people dont change- i like to argue that and i want therapy to help me change few things. I also am doing gym as much as i can, but its hard as i still cant eat/ sleep much so not much help, but i see my rectorals and biceps growing already and i know she would of loved that. I dont have many friends in new city i lived with her but my work is real goid and iv tried finding support from there so i might make few friends along the way. So basically yes, i still cintact her, i still tell i can change things around and im changing things as i speak. I even have a book about communication etc to help me futher. But she tells ship has sailed/ the train has left the station.

 

I know she is goid girl can get any man out there but we had good together, we had same views of life- already planned future kids etc. Even had names. Bit harsh to throw it all away. So i keep my hope, i understand its thin but she is worth it. For now she only remembers bad stuff but as sayd earlier bad dissapears in time and good washes to shore and stays so ...

I already start gettingbdifferent reasons from her for breakup also so it seems as GIGS again but im not sure. Im highly educated guy with goid income and not bad looks either.

 

So i guess one day mb i can finish this story on this thread but maybe not. I dont think it happens until im ready to let go, ready to be myself again ready to loose the sorrowness from my eyes and body, ready to face her without thinking of past and ready to wow her again as I did once teady to attract her.And oh we were in love, it was like honeymoon stage for over 2 years. For now whatever i do i get bitter and nonemotional answer in return so theres no real point. I just try to maintain LC as i try to speak only of subjects not connected to relationship and see how it works out. Mb she need to date few guys to see what we had, mb she finds better guy in next whoever she dates. No idea, my love for her is strong either way.

We are both at age if 25 atm btw

 

* 2 ppl fell in love deeply as can be

*they build up theyr lives together getting good jobs good incomes, buying apartment talking about future a lot

*just normal couples arguments nithing big

*neither never cheat never do anythjng stupid

*after buying flat and decorating it stuff kind of stays still, routine kicks in. Female part thinks she is out of love and leaves

* he us desperate, woukd bring the moon down the sky for her but she has decided, nothing he say or do helps for now.

* he is trying to accept and starts working his issues as much as possible/ dividing items makes it hard to go no ckntact or anythjng like that for now.

 

 

The fact us she came by hugged hoping for some feelings so everythung is not lost yet for me. I try to improve as much as possible, even trying to get friend of mine join me on that trip to have fun etc. I only can get her back if she still is available once im happy self again and ask her out fir coffe!

 

Remember nothing is impossible!

 

Hope it gives smthing new to read as there are no new stuff here for now.

And sry bout the typos, not a native english speaker and ipad keypad aint best imo.

 

I can tell ya all one thing tho. In a 6 months or year or whenever i get second chance if ever i will come and give you all smthing to read. Hell, i even will throw in a picture of happy us then.

Keep your chins up on these hard times. I keep trying but it keeps dropping lower all the time. Need to try harder then !

[Dolly]

I have got back together with a few of my ex boyfriends. Not enough had changed though, hence nothing worked out in the end. I am crazy in love with my current ex though. We broke up 7 weeks ago immediately following a 4 week break. My heart is shattered. I hope we get a real reconciliation. I need the real deal with this guy.

 

Anyway, here's what happened with a previous reconciliation that went to pot again.

 

I was friends with a guy for almost 25 years (we grew up together) when we got together. We had a good friendship, so it seemed like we had a good foundation for a relationship. I'd come out of a serious 6 year relationship, whilst his most serious and longest relationship lasted 3 months. It was great in the beginning. But our first argument was a nightmare. He really didn't hold back. He was nasty, said some really disgusting things to me, and like an absolute wally I just stood there and took it. He then said I wasn't girlfriend material, and he would never want me ever again. A short while later he wanted to be friends. I still liked him more than that, but I completely accepted that we should be nothing more. I didn't want to be walked all over. But after a quick dinner one night, he sent me a message that said he missed me. So we got back together. It was actually a mistake, since nothing had changed. We had an argument, and he was rotten again. We called it quits. And guess what? He came back AGAIN. This time I kept my guard up. I liked him, but remained cautious. I never took him back, but said we could see what happened slowly. I knew that not enough had changed, and I didn't fancy a toxic relationship. He was actually very sweet for a while. He seemed to be putting some effort in. He'd send flirty messages and he seemed genuine. Then a mutual friend told me he thought he was in a relationship. So I asked him, and it was true. He had been with another girl for about 3 months. I asked him why he hadn't told me, and he had nothing to say. He asked if I was okay, I said "yes, I'm fine" and I never spoke to him again. I surprised myself by getting over it really quickly. Apparently they're still going strong! A mutual friend told me they seem to be having a good few ups and downs but for the most part, they seem happy. Which is awesome. I am thrilled for him. I hope they go the whole hog.

[Dolly]

My cousin was messed about by a girl for years. She didn't know what she wanted, she cheated, she was back and forth all the time. So he eventually stepped back. Well she sorted herself out and went back to him. She said she loved him, she was sorry, and that she wanted to be with him. She meant it. They've been married for almost 5 years now, with one child and another on the way. They are very very happy.

[Dolly]

also i know there arent any specific statistics but i read a couple of older post sin this thread and noticed some were saying "guys come back more often than girls do" is that in any way true?

 

My friend and I discussed this the other night over a drink. I don't believe there's enough in it to say either way. In my experience, all of my ex boyfriends have come back to me. It's never been enough, hence it never worked out. But I've never gone back to an ex that I broke up with, though they've tried to get back themselves. I tend to analyse things, to make sure, and I never do anything on a whim. I've heard other girls say the same thing, and my girlfriend who I was with agreed. But does it mean that guys don't do this? I don't know. My most recent ex who I really want to get back together with seemed very confused when he broke up with me. It didn't seem like it was what he wanted at all. It's not to say that it's typical male behaviour though. I think if anything, girls are very open with their friends. Guys perhaps less so. They get over broken hearts by having a laugh with their mates. Us girls get over our broken hearts by crying on our friends' shoulders. I wonder if either way is more beneficial. I don't know, I have lots of ideas about it. But it's just that. Thoughts and ideas.

[pettypink]

Whew another one, although it wasn't successful (for the better)

 

My friend was seeing this guy in 2012 for about 6-8 months and he was always kind of a tool - wasn't very nice to her or respectable and finally just left her. She was pretty heartbroken but moved on. 2 months ago he tried to contact her - calling her about 7-8 times in a week and texting her but she would have none of it and told him she was not interested in talking to him. This is 2 years later! We had forgotten all about him.

[MostlyHopeful]

(Long time lurker, first time poster...hi)

 

I have been reading this thread for some time. Most of these stories give such hope and a very important message re: working on yourself. With this in mind I have a few reconciliation stories I'd like to share.

 

1) My best friend was dumped after 2 years. He claimed he loved her but didn't want to be in a relationship. I think they only saw/spoke to each other once or twice in the 6 months they were apart. After those 6 months he came back to her and they started up again. They have now been back together for 8 years, live together and I hear a proposal is next on the cards

 

2) My aunt and her then boyfriend split when she was in her very early 20's. I'm not sure on the details or how long they were apart for but they got back together and recently celebrated 19 years of marriage and have 2 teenage children.

 

3) A friend of mine had a relationship with a guy that went very sour. After a few months they started back up again, although it didn't last. 7 years on they are now extremely good friends (which is frankly amazing given their disastrous ending).

 

4) Myself and my first boyfriend broke up after only a few months. Over the next 2 years he kept coming back to me and leaving me again. We would be NC for months when he would suddenly reappear and want to start up again. After the birth of our child (unplanned) we broke up for good. We are now fairly amicable, mainly for the sake of our son.

 

I have a point to make with these four stories. The first two are incredibly successful, the last two not so much. But as the ongoing theme in this thread is "work on yourself" I thought these were stories worth telling.

 

My friend who had the disastrous relationship was a mess, even before the breakup. When they got back together neither of them (but specifically her) had worked to improve on themselves or make things better in their lives. She had tailspinned and I think their reconciliation was borne of familiarity rather than wanting to have the relationship back.

Myself and my ex...well, I was young and very mentally unwell at the time. I didn't know when to say no, nor was I able to improve on myself in the interim. It was always the same old same old. I let him use me and he knew he could.

 

As for my best friend and her boyfriend - he messed around with a few girls during their breakup and decided it wasn't for him. She tried her best to get over him. She dated, though her heart was never in it, and she spent a lot of time with friends and improving her work life.

 

When my aunt was broken up with, she threw herself into work. She always knew what she wanted to do with her life and focused on that.

 

In those last two examples, action was taken to improve and to keep building on their lives. They were not 'broken' without their men, they were not 'incomplete', despite how painful it was. I don't think it is a coincidence that those two relationships went on to work out wonderfully, whilst the other two scenarios simply crashed and burned again.

 

I wish anyone here who is holding out hope all the best. But remember who the most important person is in all of this...YOU, not your ex

[SF1212]

I'll post my getting back success story / not success story:

 

We dated my Sophmore year of college, had a pretty good relationship, but were just kids. She went abroad over the summer (we were still going out) and met another guy. When we got back to school she broke up with me and started dating the other guy. After begging, pleading, etc, she cut off all contact. I yelled, cursed, got mad at her, didnt matter. A few months after the break up, she called me up to hang out, we had sex, thought we would get back together, but she went back to the other dude. Every few months she would reach out to me, but always go back to her new BF. About a year after the breakup, we start hanging out as friends. After a few weeks of this, she breaks up with the other guy and comes back to me. She told me that she was scared of coming back and thats why she put so much distance between us.

 

We were dating up until about 5 months ago (5 years since the first break up, 6 years total). We would get in constant arguments, fights, screaming etc. We had a few mini break ups since then, but this time seems like its for good. I tried to win her back again, solve our porblems, but she wasnt having it. Would push and pull me, etc. And now, she is seeing another guy again. She is the type of person that cant not be alone. My advice is this: You can attract your ex back, its a long and painful process, one that I am still going through now. Its the worst feelign ever for someone you loved so much to just be done. However, when you get them back, make sure you solve your problems. With some people you just cant. My ex would never work on fixing things, and would just keep doing the same things. Here's my advice:

 

1. Be Patient. Dont beg, plead, etc.

2. Give some time, even if they are dating someone else, they still will be thinking about you.

3. them more you bug them, the further it will push them away.

4. Work on yourself, gym, new clothes, feel good.

5. Stay busy - yeas I think about my ex 10000 timesa day, but sittin home moping makes you look pathetic.

6. Reach out - worst case scenario they dont answer, or blow you off. If this happens, it only means they still care. Someone who is over you, has no feelings for you, whether good or bad, would be pleasant, and normal. If they are over everything, they wouldn't care.

 

So yes, mine is a success, as we have attracted each other multiple times 2 Long breakups (2nd one is current) and 1 mini breakup. Love is love and if they still love and care about you, they will come back. May take a week, month or a year - my longest one was 11 months. So do you, be happy, know your ex is probably thinking about you and not over the hurt - just trying to get over all the things that happened. Mine is also a failure in that I shoudl have worked on myself more, I should have tried to be different to keep her, and help her work on doing the same. I almost proposed 3 weeks after the breakup (as I had been planning it). You never know what the future holds. Dont get me wrong, I feel sad, grief, etc, but only thing you can do is move forward. I thought when my ex broke up with me the first time that she hated me and was over me, turns out she was just hurt and trying to move on from that, sad it was with another dude, but she was scared. You don't know what is going on in your ex's head. focus on you. You can check out my other threads for the full story!

[Kadbanoo]

I'll post my getting back success story / not success story:

 

Here's my advice:

 

1. Be Patient. Dont beg, plead, etc.

2. Give some time, even if they are dating someone else, they still will be thinking about you.

3. them more you bug them, the further it will push them away.

4. Work on yourself, gym, new clothes, feel good.

5. Stay busy - yeas I think about my ex 10000 timesa day, but sittin home moping makes you look pathetic.

6. Reach out - worst case scenario they dont answer, or blow you off. If this happens, it only means they still care. Someone who is over you, has no feelings for you, whether good or bad, would be pleasant, and normal. If they are over everything, they wouldn't care.

!

 

I have read every single post in this thread and it's been really great. I am 2.5 months out of my first breakup where I was the one dumped and I never thought I could get past the pain... I've had several other long relationships in my life - 5 years dating, 12 years dating, seven-year marriage (all which ended amicably and I remained great friends with my exes) and now my last relationship of a year where he left. I have truly never experienced such pain and never thought I could get past it, but I have (finally).

 

After our breakup, we stayed in contact for three weeks, then I started absolute NC because it was clear that getting back together was not on the table at that time and it was too painful to stay in touch. No social media contact, no google searching, avoiding him at work (we are professors at the same university). He broke it to invite me out to dinner and as I was getting up to leave at the end, he proceeds to tell me that he (supposedly) had a new girlfriend (thanks a lot!). That caused harsh words (like "Why the eff would you tell me this, I was moving on???!!") and after some emotional email exchanges over the next few days, ended with him saying he didn't love me anymore and to not contact him anymore, which I haven't (five weeks).

 

NC is really the best way to move on and I never thought I would get past the pain but I have. Now I can look back on our memories (photos of vacations, videos, etc) and smile from ear to ear because they were such wonderful memories!!

 

I just wanted to comment on the part about "no response only means they still have feelings". While that can be true (who knows!) it can also just be that they aren't interested and don't want to be in contact.

 

In the spirit of the thread, here are some reconciliation stories:

 

1. My parents were married for 22 years, divorced for two, then remarried again for two more years before divorcing again. They remained best friends for the next 25 years until my dad died. I think they reconciled not because they were romantically in love, but because my mom had gotten dumped by a boyfriend she had after the first divorce and they were both lonely. That said, they were good friends but I know my dad was really shattered by the divorce. I didn't know this at the time, but found out later. My mom went on to marry and divorce three other men... she's kind of a whackadoodle.

 

2. When my first boyfriend found out my last relationship ended (we still keep in touch - I am 45 now and we dated from age 14-19), he asked AGAIN for me to come back and start again with him... he has always tried to get back with me since we broke up 25 years ago! (He broke up with me because I cheated on him.) Not a reconciliation story, but an ex coming back.

 

3. One of my friends here in Paris was with her boyfriend for a year (she left her husband for him). He broke up with her, saying he didn't love her anymore and they didn't have contact for five years. She had to contact him to get a signature on some car sale papers (after five years) and he said that he always loved her and they got back together. They have had a couple of long breakups since then, but they live together and bought an apartment together a few years ago. All this said, it's a pretty dysfunctional relationship from what she's said - they haven't had sex in 18 months and he says and does horrible things to her. (Like "I dont' love you anymore" and putting his hands around her neck!). ugh... Not sure that's a reconciliation I would hope for.

 

4. After I was dumped by my boyfriend, I considered returning to my ex husband out of loneliness. Not a good idea and didn't do it (didn't want to hurt him or myself) , but can show that reconciliations can possibly happen for the wrong reasons.

 

 

Not the most uplifting stories but from what I have seen and experienced, if people do get back together (which does happen a lot), if they don't work on problems that broke them up in the first place, a successful reconciliation is very unlikely. You have to have two very motivated people to make it work.

[staypositive1]

I have spent the last 3 weeks going through all of the posts (172 pages!!). I have to say, these posts have made me feel better. It has been 3.5 months since my BF broke up with me out of the blue after saying he loves me more than anything in the world, wants to move in, marry and have kids... It has also been 3.5 months of NC - I knew this was the only way for me to move on. And although I have been doing all the right things to move on (keeping busy, therapy, gym, friendas, etc), today is the first day that I feel like I will be just fine. I think I am truly ready to let go and I hope he finds what he is looking for and will be happy.

 

To stay on the topic - here are a few stories:

 

1) a friend of mine was together with her BF for 3 years when he broke up with her out of the blue, saying his feelings have changed. She begged, while he went on and started sleeping and dating around. She was available for him for 6 months and he just used her and still didn't want her back. She decided it was enough and completely cut him off. She went out there and gad a time of her life. 3 month after she started NC (8months in total after the BU), he came back begging. She really did move on during that time and was over him. But she still had feelings. they got back together, married 3 years later and she is expecting their first baby.

 

2) parents of a friend got married. 1-2 years into the married he has met some other woman, had an affair and started a full on relationship with this new woman. he even met her parents. His wife was devasted but went out there and had fun as well. I dont now all the details, but they got back together 2 years later, had 2 daughters and have been together ever since (35+ years)

 

Some of my stories:

 

1) first boyfriend. together for 3 years (last 1.5 in LDR as I went to study abroad). he got very jealous and posessive and I broke up with him as I couldnt focus on my studies with him constantly accusing me of something that I didnt do. About 6m to 1 yr later we could have got back together, but I discovered he was lying to me, so we did not reconcile. we are now on friendly terms

 

2) another BF in uni - together for 2 years, he drunk a lot and got aggressive when he was drinking. I kept on telling him for 6-8 months that this has to stop. he didnt listen and i broke up. he still writes me every 6 months or so.

 

5) another BF at uni - together 2 years. broke up on friendly terms, mutual. LDR was not working. He asked me back after about 2-3m, but I didnt take him back. We are still friends today.

 

4) another BF after uni. together 2 years. He broke up with me for no reason on my birthday saying he needs space. he came back a month later, but I found out he was cheating, so I didnt take him back. he still appears every 6 months or so asking me to meet up.

 

5) rebound from number 4 - about 7 month together. he was abusive and generally crazy (read: restraining order). he still messages me every few month - I never respond

 

With all of my BFs I have gone NC straight after b/u. in one form or another - they all came back. I didnt go back to any of my Exs when I broke up, because it was a decision taken over several months, trying to work things out first before giving up. When I saw no change - I moved on. I never took a rashed decision.

 

I really wish all of you to stay strong and stay busy. Do things for yourselves and move on. At least then you won't focus on WHEN they come back but rather on WILL YOU WANT them back IF they do.

 

Life is full of surprises. There was a great life before your EX and there is definitely great life after him/her. Live for yourself!

[ezra]

me and my bf got back together after doing the NC thing... i can't say he lost his grip on me during that time, because it just took one call from him and we decided to reunite and talk... and then we just got back through time. i was (and still am) scared of things falling apart again, but i definitely gained more self-esteem and learned so many valuable lessons... my bf learned his lesson as well. time apart was really a blessing for both of us. we are happy now and still trying to learn to trust one another, we are going slowly but it's good. it can happen... getting back together. my advice would be... if they broke up with you... cry your loss. take your time. but slowly be used to the idea of losing them forever. if they come back it will be a surprise, but if they don't, then you wouldn't be so disappointed. hang on there

[staypositive1]

Congrats Ezra! So happy for you. How long were you apart? And what was the reason for b/u?

 

Wishing you all the best!

[ezra]

thank you so much!

 

when we broke up we had roughly 1 year together. if im completely honest with you, i dont know why exactly we broke up. i think we were fighting on a daily basis, i got jealous easily, he partied all the time, was becoming bored of me, i tried to make him jealous... a lot of things happened. one day he said he couldn't take it anymore and broke up with me. we hardly spent any time bonding (like real bonding), our relationship was very physical. when we got back together we spent more time with each other, but of course, it takes determination. i have learned to control my rage so i don't explode on him whenever i feel threatened, we communicate instead, and he in turn has been very understanding and stepping back from partying and booze.

[staypositive1]

this is great! So so so happy for you. How long have you been apart? was is a complete NC?

 

I just remembered another story that happened recently. Not reconciliation story but Ex did come back.

 

My sister was dating a guy for 2-3 years and he did not treat her well (always critisesed, acted selfish, always found a reason to argue). She stayed with him until one day she found out that he was chatting to other women online (dating sites). So they broke up. She was miserable!! 2 years later he started texting her, calling her, saying he cannot live without her that he wants to marry her! She is now however engaged to be married to someone else (very nice guy, who treats her like a princess). The Ex continues to write e-mails, texts, etc to her, me and he is even stalkingmy mother, asking her to convince my sister....

[ezra]

we broke up for 3 months approximately. the first month was me totally begging and pleading and acting like a worthless bag of tears (so ashamed of how I behaved) until I opened my eyes and just couldn't take it anymore and broke every contact. I blocked him from my phone, my whatsapp, instagram, facebook, everything, so he couldn't message me. A month went by and I was starting to feel better. At the end of the month he asked a friend to message me, and I blew him off. A week passed and he called using another number saying that he was very sorry for what he did, that he felt so stupid, and that he loved me but if I wanted to hang up I could do it and never talk to him again because he deserved it. We talked like for 2 hours that night on the phone and we agreed on meeting the next morning, so we did. It was brief (like 1 minute) because I was in class. Next day we went out on a date and talked about went wrong. He apologized and said he wanted to be a better boyfriend. We agreed not to get back together immediately and even as of now, we are not officially together yet in fear of how our friends/family would react. It was a somewhat nasty break up. But we are still pulling through. We are happy now, and there are some issues that need to be solved but well, we are working on them.

[burningred]

Is there a story about a guy who was so deeply in love with a girl and then for some strange reasons fall out and broke up with her? And after some time, he comes back and they get back?

[staypositive1]

Thank you Ezra for sharing. Best of luck to you both!

 

Burningred - a few posts up I have posted a story about a couple who broke up for 8 months and now are married and are expecting a baby. he said out of the blue that his feelings changed when he broke up.

 

I hope this helps...

[Cailinsona]

I have a few examples.

 

My mum turned down my dad's proposal of marriage. She was young and not ready to settle down. My dad was also the typical boy next door and not an exciting enough prospect for her at the time!

 

My dad was heartbroken and fled overseas, convinced that he would remain alone and broken hearted for the rest of his life. My mum also moved to another country and became engaged to another man.

 

One Christmas holiday, they were both home visiting family. This was seven years after the original proposal. They ran into each other in town and my dad congratulated my mum on her marriage (he thought she was already married at this point). She told him she was still engaged and suggested that they go for a drink to catch up. Six months later, she moved back home to marry my dad

 

My sister and her husband broke up when things were getting serious in their relationship (back when they were dating). He broke up with her, because he got cold feet about making a long term commitment. He dated someone else, but soon realised that he had made a huge mistake. He came back and they have been happily married for the past 11 years

 

My ex broke up with me a year ago...he contacted me two months ago wanting to reconcile. I'm not sure what will happen next, but I feel like I should take a risk and give him another chance. After all, I wouldn't be here today if my dad hadn't given my mum a second chance

[Kyle88]

It does and obviously can happen yeah. Reading through all of these fills me with happiness and hope, but it's false hope it really is. Don't get me wrong there's nothing more I want right now than to get back with my ex and I'd do anything to make it happen. As much as I do love reading success stories it really isn't doing me any favours if I'm honest with myself.

 

My ex girlfriend of 3 years dumped me 2 months ago now because her feelings had changed and she was starting to fall out of love, went a month no contact and bumped into her on Friday night, I'll add that at the end of this week I was going to reach out to her and try make something happen. What I was greeted with on Friday was not what I was expecting at all. She said she's moved on and that I need to move on aswell. She said were never ever getting back together and when I said there must still be some feelings there she pretty much said no there's nothing. We were both drunk but she said the day after it was an honest chat.

 

I don't know if she really did mean it, deep down I don't believe it. Or if she said it just to get rid of the last bit of hope I had.

 

I'd love to be back on here in a few months writing my own success story but I really really can't see it happening now. What are my chances? Not looking good is it?

[burningred]

Thank you so much staypositive1 and to all of you contributing some positive stories. It helps. =)

[sushiboat]

BUMP! Let's keep this thread going. Anyone have anymore great stories?