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About thebigman

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  1. The thing i have learned from my time on here and my current reconciliation is that what people here are saying isnt what you want to hear but its what you need. I wouldnt have it that things were done, i kept trying to chip away at her walls but it was like trying to break them down with a feather. It wasnt until i had given up that things turned around. I dont know your story but what i do know (and everyone else here) is that you have no control over the outcome. Im 100% sure that my situation wouldve turned around sooner had i of listened to what i was being told. I delayed our reunion sim
  2. One thing to add - when i say i saw her on xmas eve, it was an unplanned meeting. We bumped into each other. I was moving on in full force by this point.
  3. With me and my ex, she was late teens i was early twenties when we met. First loves and all that schpeal . We broke up after two years snd it took another four years for us to get to the point we are now but we were in contact sporadically and always had each other on social networking sites. It wasnt until i cut the cord early last feb that things started to turn around. Went full no contact. Saw her on xmas eve and had a great night. Told her i would never be just a friend to her and after that night we go back to not communicating. She then started txting me and putting on a chase. Im not
  4. Last night me and the ex that brought me here 4 years ago met up for a drink after bumping into each other on xmas eve. We went out to a bar, had a few drinks and agreed to leave the past behind us and try to move forward. We then went back to her house where we stayed up the whole night until 7am in each others arms and kissing. Its early days but things look like they are heading in the right direction. You never know what the future will bring your way and if your connection was strong enough then time apart will not make them forget you. As in my case, it can even bring them back. Let nat
  5. Thank you so much for taking time to do read my story, i really appreciate your input. you have more or less confirmed what i have been thinking myself, though i think i will let us get a bit more comfortable around each other before i make any steps towards her. she said she is happy to hang out when we met up and she also knows that i am still interested in her so i think the best thing now is to not make any sudden movements and see where things go without any pressure. as you said, this will be a long process but its one that im willing to take a risk with.
  6. hello olesun, you have been giving some great advice here. if its not to much trouble i would like to jump on the bandwagon and ask you if you wouldnt mind taking a quick look at my thread? loving your work lol
  7. i have another story for all you heartbroken souls out there. it seems that if you want a reconciliation story the best place to look is in my friend group as theres been around 5 of them in the last 6 months lol. a good friend of mine had a gf during his highschool years that continued into his early 20's. though they did break up for a few months every now and then (the longest being around 4 months but its mainly because they were young and still finding their feet in life) they always came back to each other somehow.that was until 7 years ago when after living with each other, they split
  8. i found out yesterday that one of my best friends is meeting up with his ex gf after a very nasty break up and 6 YEARS of nc. if they get back together is another story but i know that both him and her still have feelings there after all this time, despite how well he hides it.
  9. Depends entirely on how compatible your relationship with them was in the first place. If you were highly compatible, then yes, it can work wonders. While your letting them do their own thing with their new significant other, you are no longer making mistakes, meanwhile the new guy/girl in their life will be being compared to you. even if they dont realise they are doing it. If they are not as compatible as you two were then as the new person makes mistakes you will start to be remembered fondly and as eastonweston said "Time has a way of washing away negative feelings", leaving the positives
  10. This seems to be a very common factor after a break up, when you stop making the effort and fighting for them thats when they try to come back. Even my situation with my ex shows these signs, when i leave her alone is when she starts making the effort. Though not being well rehearsed in the workings of reconciliation i always made the mistake of pushing to get back together at the first sign of interest from her, which ultimately leads to her fleeing like a deer after hearing a gunshot. Its almost like a tug of war, the more you move towards them the more slack they have to get further away. w
  11. This sounds like my situation with my ex nearly to the word. Long distance relationship, first serious relationship, same amount of time together. Only difference being that she hasnt realised that this is what happens as relationships mature, you get comfortable and things become different. Though she has admitted several times since we split that she still loves me, she wont take the jump to try again. Such a shame she didnt have a good old chat with the people here as you have. Things couldve been so different lol.
  12. being friendly with an ex does not include the need to tell them that "you were the best in bed he ever had, and if the world was perfect you would be there now". Aside from that, would you be happy if you were married to him and he text his ex twice a week? i have some good friends that i dont talk to that often......probably because i dont want to bang them....
  13. ok so i have two new stories that i have found out about over the last two days. the first is pretty short. a good friend of mine and her bf broke up two years ago, she moved on and got a new bf a year later. a week ago her and her new bf broke up due to compatibility reasons. yesterday her ex from two years ago text saying that he heard a song on the radio and it reminded him of her and asking how she was.due to the harshness and circumstances of their break up she quickly replied telling him to leave her alone and not to contact her again. not a get back together story but shows that exes
  14. Now nothing. By the looks of things you made the right choice. Wanted to see what life was like without you then when you went no contact he was engaged 3 months later. Now you have got talking again he wants you back. So much for fighting for what you love. You couldve been the woman married to him while he emotionally cheats on you because he "doesnt know what he wants". To me he sounds like he always wants what he hasnt got. What a keeper.....
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