Getting back together really does happen!

[marphtwo]

It was 7 months. I have been doing LC for 2 months because we sit about 30 feet from each other at work. So only keep it to the minimum. We had some lunches here and there to catch up, so I am taking that angle.

 

Weve had a couple weird bumps in the LC road though but im still hopeful.

[shootingstar22]

Hi everyone, I only registered on here to share my story, which I hope will help you.

 

Trying to keep a long story short...my other half broke up with me last May. It felt out of the blue although we had been having a few arguments. We had been together 18 months and were living together. It was a serious relationship, but he clearly talked himself into thinking we had 'problems'. I'm old and wise enough to know that these were just everyday relationship 'blips'.

To say I was absolutely destroyed would be an understatement. I just couldn't understand him or the situation....I just couldn't make sense of it. Come August when I found out he was seeing a girl (significantly younger than him) who had befriended me earlier in the year and of course now I know why! It's my understanding they got together only a week or 2 after we split, but who knows? I'm kinda sceptical. She was definitely pursuing him whilst we were together, hence the arguments.

ANYWAY...more fool them, I thought. Amongst my utter, utter heartbreak, I completed my teacher training course, went on holiday with my mum, got a new teaching job and kept going. I knew he would, one day, regret his actions and come running back...but would I want him?

So of course, end of September he wanted to see me to 'give me some post'. I was completely dignified and played a very convincing 'I'm totally fine and I've moved on'. October, and he wanted to meet up. I agreed, knowing full-well what he wanted (to get back together).

 

We got back together agreeing that we would see how things went. It's been really, REALLY testing at times, especially dealing with the whole 'other girl' situation. We had some relationship counselling and it's been totally worth it. 8 months on and it's better than ever...more communication, understanding and trust. I knew we would be together, which was why it was so difficult to understand what was going on in his head. We're getting married in 2 weeks and moving to the Middle East to start new jobs...so it all worked out for the best!

 

Did the break do us a favour? I don't know. What I do know is that it definitely wasn't worth the indescribable pain I went through.

 

My advice to you is this....

I'm not saying they will always come running back, but it happens if it's meant to be.

Try your very best to keep moving forward and doing the things you enjoy (even if you're not!) Nobody wants to come running back to a jibbering, unhappy mess!

Don't pester them...phone calls, texts...it's only asking for more hurt when you don't get the answer you want. If they want you back, they'll tell you.

 

This seems all so easy for me to say now that things are back on track, but it's true. I spent HOURS reading every single post on this forum last year and I vowed I'd share my story in the hope that it will help others keep faith.

 

Keep strong and sorry for the essay!

[marphtwo]

Hey there

 

I was in a relationship for about 6 months....he broke up with me out of the blue (turns out the reason were his own depression related issues), and I went straight into NC. My ex initiated contact with me almost a month post-breakup, and now it seems we're definitely on the road to officially getting back together. Were you in a shorter-term relationship that ended? I think reconciliation really depends on the reasoning behind the break-up in the first place.

 

 

Anyone else with some positive getting back together stories of relationships that were more short term? (like 6mos - 1 year?)

[oereich]

I have two of my friends get back together, their guy's reason being "they fell out of love". But a few months later got back together and they're still together now.

What happened during their months apart? Did they keep talking? Did they cut each other out completely? And how did it start again?

[vividhope]

curious too...

[dasnico]

Hey guys!

 

Are there any success stories of shorter term relationships (like 7 mos) getting back together?

 

I see alot about the long terms reconciling but not much about the shorter ones.

 

I would also be interested in hearing some stories that fall more along the "shorter" term relationships.

 

It has been pointed out, though, that many individuals who use forums like these tend not to post their updates once they have successfully reconciled with their partners, as they no longer need the support of the board members.

[vividhope]

I would also be interested in hearing some stories that fall more along the "shorter" term relationships.

 

It has been pointed out, though, that many individuals who use forums like these tend not to post their updates once they have successfully reconciled with their partners, as they no longer need the support of the board members.

 

yup and that sucks; but maybe others heard stories

 

also interested in shorter relationship ,especially when someone fell out of any feeling lol

[neb16]

i often turned to this forum (and many others) when i was trying to get my ex back and even trying to get over him. let me start off with i have gotten him back (two times) and i kinda had to get over him in order to that. me and my boyfriend have been dating for about three years. 9 months into it we kept fighting and being to mean to eachother and i even told him that i didnt think i loved him anymore. we broke up and a couple weeks later tried to do the whole "friend" thing.... didnt work. eventually he found another girl and they started dating for about two months. during that time i was a wreck! but i kept no contact until we slowly started talking again. then one night we decided to go see a movie together, (while he was still with the other girl) and about a week later he broke up with her and got back with me. it was hard at first but we worked it out. we then stayed together for another year and recently ended when i was in college. the distance was hard on both of us. we went from LC for a couple weeks, to NC for about 2 months and started talking again about 2 weeks ago. we talk almost everyday and have decided that my college years are the time for me to grow as a individual and his as well but since we still love eachother and the distance is the only problem we will most likely become officially "together" once i graduate. i know it seems weird but you just never know what can happen and my advice would be to have hope but also realize you can be with or without your ex. your happiness should never rely on them.

[rva892]

Can you get (are there stories) of getting an ex back after being strung along. My ex was/is doing so and I recently had enough and cut contact again. But if your ex is stringing you along does that mean there are no genuine feelings or is there still a hope?

[dasnico]

Can you get (are there stories) of getting an ex back after being strung along. My ex was/is doing so and I recently had enough and cut contact again. But if your ex is stringing you along does that mean there are no genuine feelings or is there still a hope?

 

There are so many ways a person could string you along, and for so many reasons as well. Can you explain what they were doing?

[rva892]

well i (stupidly I know) fell back into a fwb thing with her after she broke up with her most recent ex (her and I broke up almost 2 years ago) and then she decided it was getting too serious for her because she said it was confusing her and she knew she needed time to be single. Since then (it's been several months) we have had LC and she's been doing the single thing meeting new people. We still talk and on rare occasions will go to lunch or something and I can still feel a connection and she has said she is still attracted to me but just doesn't know what she wants. I know from past experience that I in no way want to or will allow myself to be a backup plan so I what I'm asking is if this means she probably doesn't have real feelings for me or if there is some hope attached to this

[dasnico]

She may very well still have feelings for you. However, while ever you're around and available she will probably keep this up until she figures out what she wants. It will be difficult, but I think you should enter a no contact phase for a bit and see what she does. If she asks you why you're not talking or responding to her, tell her you still feel a connection still and that you feel she's leading you on and maybe go from there. The path you're on with her right now is not the right way to go around all of this because there's a good chance you'll end up being hurt [again]. If she wanted to get back to you then she wouldn't be "doing the single thing meeting new people".

[vividhope]

any stories of shorter relationships (like 4mths) or when somebody felt out of feelings??

[Farsight]

A girl I know was in a relationship for around 6 months and went on holiday with her boyfriend. She was quite clingy and particularly so when they got back. He dumped her and then did NC. After a couple of weeks he cried down the phone at what a big mistake he made. He really didn't expect her to disappear like that. She then dumped him a few weeks later after realizing there wasn't really much there anyway.

 

Following on from vididhope, I'm also interested in stories with people who were together for matter of months and then had a break-up because of perceived lack of love.

[vividhope]

Anyone have stories of getting back together with an ex who just wanted to be friends or whose romantic feelings had gone?

[Staypositive]

Anyone have stories of getting back together with an ex who just wanted to be friends or whose romantic feelings had gone?

 

2nd this and oh bump! I love this thread has opened my eyes that I need to just move on! If it is meant to be, it will be!

[daytripper]

I have a few stories to share!

 

1) I know a hs friend of mine who broke up with her boyfriend of 2 years. But she broke up with him due to his immaturity. After 1 - 2 years apart, they decided to get back together and both of them have grown a lot during their time apart. I'm not sure if they were in contact with each other other or not. Now they've been together for years and living together.

 

2) My friend's sister-in-law broke up with her boyfriend. He was her first boyfriend and they got together in her early 20's and my friend thinks that it was due to cold-feet that she broke up with him. They were only apart for a short period (1 - 2 months I believe) before they gave it another shot. Now they're married and have 2 kids.

 

I really appreciate this thread and it has been helping me move on after my breakup. It has been a month since my bf broke up with me out of the blue by delivering the line "I can't say I love you anymore". We've been on LC with me being the initiator for all of the times. But I've been contacting him because I wanted to talk about the breakup, ie. where things went wrong, explaining why I did the things I did that could have driven him away. I came to the conclusion that it was due to our lack of communication that things ended up this way. I was always really emotional and insecure and that affected his own happiness, however, he never communicated to me that he felt the way he was feeling. This was also my first serious relationship (2 years) so the way I was was also due to inexperience and immaturity. I would've never wanted him to feel unhappy because I love him so much. We had a long conversation on the phone yesterday. I don't know what the future holds, but I'm going to continue moving forward with my life and becoming a better person.

 

Thanks everyone for sharing their stories!

[3Tears]

I hope thats going to be you guy's last conversation in a LONG while, because you're just not going to get anywhere. I've noticed that most of the time when couples stay in LC after a break up each conversation almost always end up talking about the break up and all of those emotions will resurface ending in arguments and rejections... Its not the best for "closure" or "winning them back" you can get either of those two with time and growth.

[Amelie Faith]

Real life story: I married the man who broke up with me.

After dating (and constantly fighting due to his commitment problem) for 2 years, we broke up. We were apart for 4.5 months before we got back together. We got married another two years later, and now we are planning for our first child!

[AllyP]

I can see this post is extremely long, and there have been a lot of, I guess, "negativity". Basically people putting down even the thought of reconciliation even being possible. I'll be honest, I'm going through a break-up and am hoping for a reconciliation. But the important thing is- you can't just sit around and wait for it. Just as your ex is moving along, so do you. And take time for yourself! Don't just "better" yourself, make YOURSELF happy. That's what I'm starting to realize, and I'm realizing the only way to make him miss me is to be out of his life completely. All you can do is take the first, hardest, step and then move along and let the future unfold before you the way it's meant to be!

 

But all in all, I have a couple of success stories!

 

My sister started dating her best friend's brother in 9th grade while he was in 11th. So they knew each other by her going over her friend's house and hanging out. Basically, they dated for a year. Then he broke up with her saying "I don't love you", "there's someone else" all that stuff. He dated another girl for a year. My sister was devastated. But for the year she just tried to ignore him. They had LC and even hung out once in awhile, and she did see him when she went over her friends house. He soon realized the other girl was not what he wanted and came crawling back to my sister. They have been together for 10 years and are engaged and are planning on getting married soon!

 

My friend's sister was dating a guy for almost 2 years. He suddenly broke it off, basically for the same reason as the story above. They started dating other people in time. She dated a man for about a year and a half, and her ex didn't like it. He was jealous right away and knew what he gave up. But he dated someone else anyways. Basically, he broke it off with the other girl, they weren't good together anyways, and fought for his ex back. Her new boyfriend never really showed that he loved her, so with help from family, her ex showed how much he loved her and won her back! They have been together for about 4-5 years now and are engaged!

 

This next one has to do with two girls, but it's all the same. They dated for about a year, and then broke up and the break up was awful. All over Facebook, and lots of mean things were said. A couple months later they got back together, but a couple months later it happened all over again. This happened again. So they broke up three times all together. Each one was nasty. Awful things were said about each other. I have no idea if they date other people, I think one of them did. But about six months after the last break up they got back together and have been ever since. They are engaged now. They both have changed quite a bit and seem very happy with one another. They both really grew up. And when I say awful things... I mean it. It was almost appalling.

 

So, to those suffering right now, I would say don't lose hope but don't let it over power you- let it EMPOWER you. Let the hope empower you to make positive changes in your life and help you become happy once again. Find a peace of mind. And when all is said and done, maybe one day you will be surprised that you've moved on. Or maybe you will be surprised to see your ex come crawling back.

 

As I see it- there are only two options:

1. Moving on completely

2. Your ex coming back

 

Neither one is certain, you have NO idea what will happen. No one knows what the future holds. It does not matter what your ex says now because people always say things in the moment- that's because it IS the moment, it's the present and what they feel or say now might not be true in the future. There is NO wrong in having some hope in reconciliation as long as that is not what you live off of and what gets you out of bed every day. You need to let that empower you to be that person someone can fall in love with- someone your ex can fall in love with- and not someone who is sad, desperate, and easily available.

Show them what they're missing!

 

I wish the best of luck to all!

[Here Without U]

Wow.you know guys i dont believe right now that i am writing this.First of all i thank each and every person over here who has shared their stories, experiences, advice.it has helped atleast me a ton.I was going through a very very very rough time after my love broke up with me.The reason was not the usual.Everything was perfect but suddenly my girl fell sick.Like a lot.Looking at this her parents came and forced her to shift back to her country.And that was it. She got to know that she is never gonna come back again cause her parents are reallllyyy very strict and a bit weird(sorry babes).She pushed me away and she pushed me away hard.I tried all sorts of things.But it never worked.After she went back we still were tog like on and off (LDR) One day she used to be her but then the entire week she will shred my heart piece by piece. And i know for a fact that she was also in pain but she had to do it cause she cant see me sad or depressed.Finally a month back she got fed up of me and said she wont ever talk to me again.I thought this is it.But i decided to give a last try.Started with the no contact rule.Today its been i dont even kknow how many days of nc, i guess a whole month.I was planning on breaking the nc and contact her again.But suddenly i get a message from her. "I MISS YOU". I cant explain you guys my reaction to that.i was speechless.i didnt know what to do.But i didnt reply her.I replied her after a day.Started speaking very formal.but she said please dont talk formal. surprise no 2.

We spoke for like hours. I tried to be very brief but she just kept on talking on and on and on. I dunno whats next for me or us.She is back in my country for few days and she wants me to go and visit her.Rather she insisted.I dunno what to make out of this.But is am really exited.I shall be meeting her very soon. OMG i just remembered that the day i am planning to meet her will be our 3 years anniversary.Wow.I need suggestion now.How should i take this ahead.One thing i am sure about is that she stil loves me.At least i hope so .And yes in the NC period i did work on my self. Have started my own Software Company so chicks are hovering around me like flies but i still my angel. So what should i do. And THANKYOU once again guys for all the help.I read all 168 pages. Yes all of them and all the stories. Really helped me a lot. Thank you onec again. and suggestion please!!!

[Seankbq]

Bumppppppppp

[Capttrae]

I've heard the saying, if u love someone let them go, if they come back their yours forever if not they never were. I'm hoping that one day my ol lady comes back

[onelifeonelove]

I've heard the saying, if u love someone let them go, if they come back their yours forever if not they never were. I'm hoping that one day my ol lady comes back

 

I'm hoping the same.. But mines is talking to another guy already..

[Capttrae]

So is mine but I'm expecting him to flake out at any given moment so hopefully I'll get a chance to make things right. If not I just hope she's happy and I'll continue to continue on and kill a whole bunch of deer