MostlyHopeful

You swore I had done nothing wrong, that you needed to sort your life out, but you are treating me like I was the one that hurt you! You can't walk away from someone who cared about you and expect them to thank you for it. That was selfish. And you lied to me....you said we could be friends someday, that I could call if I wanted to shout at you, that you still held a lot of affection for me. Given the last 2 and half months of nothing, I'm guessing you were just lying to me and were too cowardly to tell me whatever the truth was. I'm sorry if I did do something to make you be so cold to me. But YOU sir, are a selfish who does not deserve my concern.

(Long time lurker, first time poster...hi) I have been reading this thread for some time. Most of these stories give such hope and a very important message re: working on yourself. With this in mind I have a few reconciliation stories I'd like to share. 1) My best friend was dumped after 2 years. He claimed he loved her but didn't want to be in a relationship. I think they only saw/spoke to each other once or twice in the 6 months they were apart. After those 6 months he came back to her and they started up again. They have now been back together for 8 years, live together and I hear a proposal is next on the cards 2) My aunt and her then boyfriend split when she was in her very early 20's. I'm not sure on the details or how long they were apart for but they got back together and recently celebrated 19 years of marriage and have 2 teenage children. 3) A friend of mine had a relationship with a guy that went very sour. After a few months they started back up again, although it didn't last. 7 years on they are now extremely good friends (which is frankly amazing given their disastrous ending). 4) Myself and my first boyfriend broke up after only a few months. Over the next 2 years he kept coming back to me and leaving me again. We would be NC for months when he would suddenly reappear and want to start up again. After the birth of our child (unplanned) we broke up for good. We are now fairly amicable, mainly for the sake of our son. I have a point to make with these four stories. The first two are incredibly successful, the last two not so much. But as the ongoing theme in this thread is "work on yourself" I thought these were stories worth telling. My friend who had the disastrous relationship was a mess, even before the breakup. When they got back together neither of them (but specifically her) had worked to improve on themselves or make things better in their lives. She had tailspinned and I think their reconciliation was borne of familiarity rather than wanting to have the relationship back. Myself and my ex...well, I was young and very mentally unwell at the time. I didn't know when to say no, nor was I able to improve on myself in the interim. It was always the same old same old. I let him use me and he knew he could. As for my best friend and her boyfriend - he messed around with a few girls during their breakup and decided it wasn't for him. She tried her best to get over him. She dated, though her heart was never in it, and she spent a lot of time with friends and improving her work life. When my aunt was broken up with, she threw herself into work. She always knew what she wanted to do with her life and focused on that. In those last two examples, action was taken to improve and to keep building on their lives. They were not 'broken' without their men, they were not 'incomplete', despite how painful it was. I don't think it is a coincidence that those two relationships went on to work out wonderfully, whilst the other two scenarios simply crashed and burned again. I wish anyone here who is holding out hope all the best. But remember who the most important person is in all of this...YOU, not your ex