GlingyOne

First of all, thank you for every1 that has posted here, its been amazing reading for few days, thank you a lot, its given me hope and even brought smile to my face few times going through this all. Heres my 2 stories. One with reletively happy ending other has not ended yet in my eyes. Not just yet. Sorry if their long but i needed to vent and as this thread is not getting much new stories i think it guves everybody smthung to read 1) she was my first love. At times i thought its going to be no question she be standing beside me rest of life. We started dating at age of around 18 ish and we dated 4 years. I went 100 miles away to other city for work training, she came visit few times but i understood she had stsrted going parties a lot in old town. So after my training we went back to old city to celebrate her birthday, and that was the last night we were together. She ignored me few days after that and once she decided to answer just told its over. Ofc, i begged, called even stalked her house. The full crazy stuff tbh. Mb few weeks later i was doung my evening round with car around city i noticed her in one restaurant with another guy. I went nuts, confronted her etc. It was last time we spoke if i remember correctly. That was followed by year depression and drinking by me. Anyway later i learned that dude was reason she left me- thought a grass is greener there but surprise surprise. Mb 3-5 months later turned out dude had got her preagnant and started acting physical. Ofc i was still in pain. About year and 3 months after BU i met extremely hot girl who i fell deeply. I had gotten over my ex. Ofc then the ex started txting, her sister called for me to call her etc. She obv wanted me back as she had ended things with her GIGS guy. But i had moved on *girl dumps boy (due GIGS) *boy does everything he can including the stalking * girl breaks up with gigs guy *boy gets over her /heals fully and meets someone way better *same time girl sees what she had tries to reconnect *boy answers those txts friendly and tells he is off for summer labour day weekend with female company 2) second girl i talked about earlier. A true catch in my eyes. We dated 3 and almost half years. We lived together for 2.5 years. I had never fallen so deeply in love, neither had she and she had blenty of relationships before me. The butterflies in stomach. Full circle of romantic stuff you see only in romance movies. It was all there. We didnt fight, we had arguments but we got over them by discussing it was just pure and nice. I had some glingy issues as she had at beginning but as her social life grew bigger she stsrted to see issues even when there were none. Started to blaim workstress on me etc. We had planned a baby by end of year when we were going to 3 week exotic trip other side of world etc. I still got the tickets. Anyway. Out if the blue 3 weeks ago she sayd she has depression, sadness and has had enough. Just like that and she left! Went to live with one if her girlfriends. I called every evening to hear her voice etc. 1 week later she came by cold as stone told theres no feelings and she came to discuss what happens with things we bought together. Kitchen and livingroom furniture etc. I didnt have answer she left i go NC 5 days pass she calls. I ignore, hour pass she txt that was wondering what i do with tuckets fir trip. I ignore, next mirning she txt if im not communicating no longer. I ignore! Comes monday again. 2weeks from BU she calls i cant ignore, she wants to meet. I accept at evening in Our flat. She comes and is herself again, the lovable her not the one i saw week earlier. She explains some stuff we cry together i tell i can change etc. She tells the i love you but not in love line. Then we hug. Later i learn she wanted the hug to see if theres something there. (We went through hurtful stuff for hour, crued etc and she thinking mb theres smthing there? Goish) she told only felt sorry for me during hug as i later learned. Week earlier i didnt even get the ilybnilwu line so i felt better. Lol Well it took another week for her to state her wishes - wants money for stuff etc. Now its been 3 weeks. I been going therapy once- going again tomorrow. Im going there to understand the flaws in me, she tells me people dont change- i like to argue that and i want therapy to help me change few things. I also am doing gym as much as i can, but its hard as i still cant eat/ sleep much so not much help, but i see my rectorals and biceps growing already and i know she would of loved that. I dont have many friends in new city i lived with her but my work is real goid and iv tried finding support from there so i might make few friends along the way. So basically yes, i still cintact her, i still tell i can change things around and im changing things as i speak. I even have a book about communication etc to help me futher. But she tells ship has sailed/ the train has left the station. I know she is goid girl can get any man out there but we had good together, we had same views of life- already planned future kids etc. Even had names. Bit harsh to throw it all away. So i keep my hope, i understand its thin but she is worth it. For now she only remembers bad stuff but as sayd earlier bad dissapears in time and good washes to shore and stays so ... I already start gettingbdifferent reasons from her for breakup also so it seems as GIGS again but im not sure. Im highly educated guy with goid income and not bad looks either. So i guess one day mb i can finish this story on this thread but maybe not. I dont think it happens until im ready to let go, ready to be myself again ready to loose the sorrowness from my eyes and body, ready to face her without thinking of past and ready to wow her again as I did once teady to attract her.And oh we were in love, it was like honeymoon stage for over 2 years. For now whatever i do i get bitter and nonemotional answer in return so theres no real point. I just try to maintain LC as i try to speak only of subjects not connected to relationship and see how it works out. Mb she need to date few guys to see what we had, mb she finds better guy in next whoever she dates. No idea, my love for her is strong either way. We are both at age if 25 atm btw * 2 ppl fell in love deeply as can be *they build up theyr lives together getting good jobs good incomes, buying apartment talking about future a lot *just normal couples arguments nithing big *neither never cheat never do anythjng stupid *after buying flat and decorating it stuff kind of stays still, routine kicks in. Female part thinks she is out of love and leaves * he us desperate, woukd bring the moon down the sky for her but she has decided, nothing he say or do helps for now. * he is trying to accept and starts working his issues as much as possible/ dividing items makes it hard to go no ckntact or anythjng like that for now. The fact us she came by hugged hoping for some feelings so everythung is not lost yet for me. I try to improve as much as possible, even trying to get friend of mine join me on that trip to have fun etc. I only can get her back if she still is available once im happy self again and ask her out fir coffe! Remember nothing is impossible! Hope it gives smthing new to read as there are no new stuff here for now. And sry bout the typos, not a native english speaker and ipad keypad aint best imo. I can tell ya all one thing tho. In a 6 months or year or whenever i get second chance if ever i will come and give you all smthing to read. Hell, i even will throw in a picture of happy us then. Keep your chins up on these hard times. I keep trying but it keeps dropping lower all the time. Need to try harder then !