Tawny

It's officially been one day over two weeks since we last spoke. The longest we've gone is 2.5 weeks, so I suppose I'll have to wait and see if we make it all the way to week three without him trying to talk to me. I think if we do, part of me will be relieved, and part of me will be a bit bummed. We didn't exactly say goodbye the last time- he just never responded back to my last response to him- so that kind of bugs me. I wonder, sometimes, if the fact that he hasn't contacted me means that things are going downhill with the new girl, but more likely than not, they're just fine. I did post a status on Facebook yesterday that he liked (he never comments, so that his gf doesn't see and get upset, but he would occasionally like things of mine), but I don't think that counts as a break of NC, since I haven't actually conversed with him. Was kind of tempted to look at his Facebook page today, but I haven't.

A new friend of mine was dumped by his gf of 2.5 years a couple of weeks ago. He didn't handle things well, had a one night stand that he regretted, and they slept together when she said she'd get back with him (she didn't). He'd expected that, started dating other girls. She came back, begging, last week, so they're together again. I'm not sure how long they'll last, but last I knew he was hoping to marry her, so who knows.

It's funny how I thought a couple of months ago that, by the time we got to June, I'd be mostly better. It was kind of a mixed bag of thinking that I'd never be better at all, and thinking that I'd be drastically more healed by this point. I am probably leaps and bounds better than I was, but at the same time I'm not as healed as I thought I'd be. It seems like, when I feel like I'm getting particularly better, I soon after suffer either a relapse of a few days, or a night where I have a panic attack. I sometimes wonder if my ex thought that breaking up with me and dating someone right after would go more smoothly than I has for him. His previous longest relationship before me was 7 months (compared to our two years), so not really long enough to really reach the attachment phase with anyone. I know he misses me and has suffered quite a lot for the breakup, but all the missing in the world isn't likely to make him leave the new girl. I feel as though that relationship will have to come to it's natural conclusion, if there is one. There is nothing I can do about that, no matter how many red flags she throws up, because he tends to be a very forgiving person who doesn't want to see the bad sides of people. Good grief, it's been a melancholy past five days.

I understand exactly what you're going through, and I don't understand it either. I know it'll be a rather long time, if ever, before I could contemplate a relationship with someone else, and it only took my ex two weeks! Granted, he'd known this girl for about a year beforehand, but knowing what kind of person she is, it's like an extra stab in the back. She's super immature, a brat, and when she has an emotional meltdown, she blames it on her hormones, instead of admitting that she simply lost it. When we were dating, he told me that he had the better girl, and while I know I made mistakes, it really grinds my gears that he may think this girl is a better fit for him (apparently she's good to him, whatever that means). They've already fought, and there was a point where he thought it wouldn't last (that way maybe 2 months in). Apparently things got better, but everyone else steers well clear of her- including guys, because she was desperately looking for pretty much anyone before they started dating. I don't get it. Had the worst night last night that I've had in a while, where I just fell apart and bawled- I haven't done that in a few weeks. Sometimes I wish that I could just rent a house somewhere else, snag a couple of friends, and spend the summer "rehabbing" in a place with no memories. I've done a lot of contemplating as well, but for some reason, when I go to type it up here, I lose the desire to bring it up. Such begins day 4.

So long as he does not contact me later tonight, this will be day 3 if NC. The breakup was about 3.5 months ago, and he's been with a friend of his since two weeks after that. She doesn't like us to keep in contact, but the longest we've gone without some sort of interaction since then has been about 2.5 weeks (all but one have been him reaching out on me). Should he contact me again, I'm going to ask him not to, and although I know it's good for me, that will be very hard to do. However, if he's struggling with the breakup, he will have to deal with that on his own, I need some space to continue to heal, and, if we were to talk again in the future, I want it to be without the awkwardness that pervades most of our conversations now. I am not yet back to my full self, and until we can both get past it, interacting is just not working. Once I tell him, I will not contact him. I have no problem with not contacting him now, because we are not in the same place. We will have nowhere near a normal friendship with this girl around (having known her personally, she's a shrew, and others think the same, but that changes nothing), and as long as he's with her, I want to know nothing that's going on.

Former figure skater Johnny Weir and his husband apparently reconciled a couple of days ago. Caught a lot of people off guard, because divorce papers had been filed, there were allegations of domestic violence, and both sides said some pretty ugly things about the other. They'd been split up for about two months or so, I think.