Getting back together really does happen!

[what happened]

Any stories about a girl being head over heals in love, almost obsessive for 6 and a half yrs then after graduating college and starting a career then losing interest. She is most certainly done with the relationship, but i'm hoping she remembers how strongly she felt about us not so long ago. Will the anger and resentment over the logistics of the break-up/move-out ever fade? 20 days into b.u., and still not many signs of missing me except calling to ask for furniture or when ill pick up my things. Cant emphasize how much in love she was, then started to fell "blah" about us before break-up.... PLEASE NO "MOVE ON" ADVICE, OR FALSE HOPE TALK, IVE HEARD IT AND UNDERSTAND THE POINT OF VIEW.

[deeplongbreath]

I too have been talking to my ex, initiated by me but we have had some nice chats, i've mentioned nothing about the break up and i won't go there unless he decides it's something he wants to talk about, it's the past now, it's history...no point going there, i am partly to blame for the BU, although i didn't think so at first, time has made me realise my part but we're talking and that is a great start, i love him and i know he loves me so i just need to give him time and space to get things in order...we've agreed to meet once things are sorted on his end....

 

loulou x

 

Great news loulou, so happy for you!!

[tomato]

Any stories about a girl being head over heals in love, almost obsessive for 6 and a half yrs then after graduating college and starting a career then losing interest. She is most certainly done with the relationship, but i'm hoping she remembers how strongly she felt about us not so long ago. Will the anger and resentment over the logistics of the break-up/move-out ever fade? 20 days into b.u., and still not many signs of missing me except calling to ask for furniture or when ill pick up my things. Cant emphasize how much in love she was, then started to fell "blah" about us before break-up.... PLEASE NO "MOVE ON" ADVICE, OR FALSE HOPE TALK, IVE HEARD IT AND UNDERSTAND THE POINT OF VIEW.

 

pretend you are over her - that will help - act as if you are - then improve yourself 100% energ into buying new clothes hair body etc meet some new friends aswell

 

go NC FULL NC for 1.5 weeks

 

then start responding to her calls in a way that shows you have changed she has changed and your willing to meet her

[capjack]

I wanted to post to this thread because I enjoyed reading it when I started to get down. I wanted to know that it was possible to reconcile with your gf/bf. I don't want to say it gave me false hope but rather it just helped me stay positive.

 

Well I am happy to say that I got back together with my girlfriend after 5 weeks of No Contact. I posted about it on my thread which is actually very short but my posts are long winded.....sorry.

 

I will say that NO CONTACT absolutely works and that while it is hard it is something that you have to do for YOU. That is the key thing is to work on yourself!!!

 

Here is the link to my thread. I will watch both threads and will answer any questions that might come up as best I can.

 

 

Slow and Steady Wins the Race.....I hope

 

here is the actual address if the link does not work.

 

 

 

Cheers

[AllUNeedIsLove]

I have yet another reconciliation story...

 

1. one of my friends broke up with her boyfriend, she even said that she hated him. I never asked the reason for the break up but i think it had to do with someone else being in the picture....well after a month they both realized how much they missed each other and just got back together today!

 

2. I heard the story of this lady who married the love of her life and they were together for 6 years, but then they divorced (not sure why). They both ended up marrying other people and about 7 years later both divorced their significant other and went back to dating each other. They ended up getting married a second time and are still together.

 

If it is truly meant to be it will be. The last couple never thought they would be together again, but they never stopped loving each other. You just have to live life and stop waiting.

[bloobloobloo]

I believe that whatever will be i am having a tough time at the moment and about to go NC for a period after respecting my ex's wishes about not wanting to meet and wishing her all the best with her rebound guys...... time to sit tight !!!! Scary but essential.... If it is meant to be it will, i will believe that for as long as it takes to get a chance of reconcilitaion or i meet someone i will hold the thought that never say never is as valid as anyone who says, your, doomed, forget it or healedin to a bitter person !!!!

[doiiiieeezie]

Time for a bump

[triggs]

If you want to know what your mate is really like? Than break up with them. Wow, what a true awakening for what could really happen down the road with all that you have invested.

[PJK]

I'll bite...

 

Two of my cousins broke up with theur long term boyfriends. One was because she didn't think she was in love and the other was because her boyfriend needed to get his life together. Well, after breaking up for a year and 8 months respectively they are both now married to those guys.

[rainbows1]

My mom and dad broke up for about a month once when they were young, he even got with another girl straight away whom was apparently very attractive(and my moms dad bought them a drink at the pub ha ha). My mom acted as if she didn't care and saw him one night at the local meeting place, where his friend told my dad 'If you don't snap her up, I will' that night they left together and have been happily married ever since.

 

My sister and her boyfriend split up after 3 years together, my sister did the whole begging thing (she denies it but my mom remembers) and he just told her to leave him alone, he didn't want to speak to her. 5 weeks later she went on a date with another guy to a club, that night she came home with him and they have 2 children and been together 12 years and happily married

 

My mom told me a story she recently heard about my aunt and uncle, when they were younger they split up for 6 months at a time; in the mean time my uncle dated many other girls, my aunt stayed single. He came back to her after 6 months and they split up again another point in there relationship for 6 months - my uncle did the same thing. He eventually came back to my aunt and put a ring on her finger and my mom says there is no man that loves his woman as much as my uncle. So sometimes guys are arseholes during the break up, but it doesn't always mean they will always be or won't come back.

 

My Nan's first love messed her around quite a lot, although she says he was a gentleman. He left to be in the army, he sent her letters but she believed there was no hope waiting for him as she believed there would be many other women. Years later he came back for her, told her he wanted to marry her..it was too late as she was already married to my grandad but I think sometimes she wonders what if, she loved him dearly.

 

My friend dated a boy when she was about..13/14 maybe? Anyway the break up wasn't great and I think they talked from time to time but it was nothing major. Anyway she is now 19 and had a text from him the other week to say he'd made a huge mistake dumping her, his misses her and wants her back - she's unsure of her feelings but is going to meet up with him, she said when they broke up back then she'd have never imagined him coming back to her and apologising.

[Lansing]

My sister and her boyfriend split up after 3 years together, my sister did the whole begging thing (she denies it but my mom remembers) and he just told her to leave him alone, he didn't want to speak to her. 5 weeks later she went on a date with another guy to a club, that night she came home with him and they have 2 children and been together 12 years and happily married

 

when you say "came home with him" I imagine you meant the ex-bf? Or did you mean the guy she went to the club with? I guess the BF got jealous?

[rainbows1]

Oh gosh, Yes I meant her ex, sorry I didn't write that very clearly. He must have been jealous and saw that he'd almost lost her

[The Man Who]

It does happen but some people put all their eggs in one basket hoping for something that's outwith their control/hands most of the time. It's hard to differentiate straight after a break-up if your being deluded in thinking you can get back with someone or not but if you don't change the focus from them to you then it's not going to help your chances for any hope you may have at rekindling with an ex somewhere down the line.

[Brigadoon]

I worked very hard to get over my fiance when we broke up and by the time he came back a year and a half after we broke up I didn't even think there was anything left as it all seemed to be gone.

I was still fond of him as a person because I was over all the hurt but I had a lot of good memories so we hung out together and ended up back together.

We got married this October just gone and it seems very strange to be writing this here, on the forum where I used to come when I was crying my eyes out from the hurt and humiliation of the breakup.

Just goes to show that NC/LC and doing your best to genuinely get over a relationship and move on with your life does wonders for you either way - I hope it works out that way for anyone who's reading this and hurting right now.

[sugarpiehoney]

There is hope....just got back together with my ex after being divorced for almost 4 yrs. I think if you are meant to be together it will happen and if not then there is someone else waiting somewhere to be with you.

[jolbell69]

It's so great to hear some success stories on this forum!! Thank you!!!

[mhowe]

I posted this somewhere else today:

 

My 80+ yr old client just reconnected w/ his 1st crush after 70 years!!! His wife died from Alzheimers around 5 yrs ago, and he went home to a friend's funeral in his hometown in the fall. Ran into her --- she never married. They are now dating, and spent the holidays together. Seventy frickin yrs!!!!!

[skippy10]

I posted this somewhere else today:

 

My 80+ yr old client just reconnected w/ his 1st crush after 70 years!!! His wife died from Alzheimers around 5 yrs ago, and he went home to a friend's funeral in his hometown in the fall. Ran into her --- she never married. They are now dating, and spent the holidays together. Seventy frickin yrs!!!!!

 

These posts of today are very uplifting, because the truth be known, we come upon this site hoping that "no contact" will reunite us with our exes vs. our own self betterment.

[loulou37]

Omg brigadoon!! i remember you, i never thought i would see this day!!

 

Good Luck in your lives together and i mean that with all my heart

 

loulou x

[Brigadoon]

Thanks Loulou,

 

I never thought I'd see this day either!

 

B x

[DN]

Brigadoon - aren't you having major problems with your new marriage?

[stagn]

I have to disagree with this. Two people can love each other very much, but if there is no agreement on the most basic fundamental of things, it can never happen. Case in point if one person is religious and the other is deeply spiritual. I always thought that love can conquer all. Boy am I wrong.

[mrtango]

Brigadoon, I remember you. I read your posts and look at you now I wish you a great life together, be happy...

[SleeplessinNJ]

I hope this happens to me too but right now, I feel completely hopeless. All I can do is sit here and do nothing and not contact him and pray that he comes back...and i feel like i should be reading the "get it him" threads but these ones are the only ones I can handle.

[Jim Wormold]

I have to disagree with this. Two people can love each other very much, but if there is no agreement on the most basic fundamental of things, it can never happen. Case in point if one person is religious and the other is deeply spiritual. I always thought that love can conquer all. Boy am I wrong.

 

Religion/Christianity doesnt even work in families, nevermind couples. My brother-in-law

bullied his christian viewpoints onto me recently and laughed off all my concerns that he was

overstepping his boundaries. My sister just gives me the silent treatment now too after

I emailed them later. They like to separate religion from personal christian relationship

but it just comes out the same.

 

My ex and I were 100% in agreement in how people should stop shoving their beliefs

on others. After this brutal assault of his, I only missed her all the more. Even her family

were such wonderful warm people opposed to this sort of boorish behaviour.

 

If there has to be new girlfriend one day, then that will definitely have to be a non-issue.