drewciouS281 Posted November 13, 2008 Share Posted November 13, 2008 no offence taken bro... i know you mean it with good intentions. i do agree that i am emotionally weak and many of my problems are tied to that... i will have to be honest and be aware of my weaknesses otherwise i have little chance to fix them. thats good your aware and honest about them but in my eyes thats the "so what". The question is, what are you going to do about it now!? Link to comment
ghost69 Posted November 13, 2008 Share Posted November 13, 2008 I, for one, am just sharing my views. Nothing to do with misery loving company, at least not in my case. I am happily taken. your views are great. i'm not dogging your ideas. keep em coming. Link to comment
lady00 Posted November 13, 2008 Share Posted November 13, 2008 Also, for people responding to my "healing in someone else's bed" post. Please reread what I wrote. I have no problem with that. I said I don't do it and don't understand it but I can respect if that works for some people. So, I hope that clears up how I feel about that. Link to comment
lady00 Posted November 13, 2008 Share Posted November 13, 2008 And again, I'm not advocating staying home and moping. It think maybe I am not being clear because people are reading into things in my posts that I don't think are there. Link to comment
grymoire Posted November 13, 2008 Share Posted November 13, 2008 AVI, seriously, you have 2.5 more months of crying before you can go out man. pffft. ghost i doubt if ppl are advocating that avi boy sit in a room and cry for some more time... they are only surprised with his quick hook up with another girl... if avi said that he is healing well and spending quality time with his friends and family the responses would be very different... compared to a thread titled "Lol.. Hmmm" and talking about making out with another girl... Link to comment
ImThatGirl Posted November 13, 2008 Share Posted November 13, 2008 On another note.... I think this is probably a record 16 pages.... CD is having some competition.... Link to comment
greywolf Posted November 13, 2008 Share Posted November 13, 2008 ghost i doubt if ppl are advocating that avi boy sit in a room and cry for some more time... they are only surprised with his quick hook up with another girl... if avi said that he is healing well and spending quality time with his friends and family the responses would be very different... compared to a thread titled "Lol.. Hmmm" and talking about making out with another girl... I fail to see what is wrong with that Link to comment
tiredofvampires Posted November 13, 2008 Share Posted November 13, 2008 I agree with those who opt to move on instead of going into a period of mourning. As you get older you realize that time is precious and God ain't making any more for you than your alloted amount. To waste any of that time on someone who could cold-heartedly dump you? NO thanks! I'll move on with the next hottie or rich guy. Living well is the best revenge. And, no, these are not rebounds. Or if they are, they always turned into long-term relationships. I don't carry people who dump me around in my heart, how pathetic is that? I am immediately ready for my next relationship. I don't think grieving is pathetic. And it's often not an "option" -- some people may believe that emotions are a choice. In some ways yes, in other ways, no. If you have had a life of cumulative experiences and things taught to you, your emotions will tend to follow those original blueprints. It's great if you can move forward immediately, jigsup. But it's not very kind to judge others as weak if they can't or don't. I'm not saying we don't have any control over our emotions, and thoughts we decide to think can change emotions. But wanting something we can't have anymore is not pathetic. It's a pretty basic human condition. Link to comment
ghost69 Posted November 13, 2008 Share Posted November 13, 2008 ghost i doubt if ppl are advocating that avi boy sit in a room and cry for some more time... they are only surprised with his quick hook up with another girl... if avi said that he is healing well and spending quality time with his friends and family the responses would be very different... compared to a thread titled "Lol.. Hmmm" and talking about making out with another girl... well, only avi knows for sure if he's over it. i know i wouldn't let opportunity pass. he explained to this girl that he just got out of that other situation and she seems to be cool with it. that's amazing actually. if she's that cool, maybe she will keep him close but at bay ya know? wait til he's ready for a full on something. Link to comment
greywolf Posted November 13, 2008 Share Posted November 13, 2008 But wanting something we can't have anymore is not pathetic. It's a pretty basic human condition. But love is realizing that you never 'had' them. They were with you because of free will and now they no longer are. You want them to be happy because you love them, so you don't want to 'have' them. I loved my ex more than anything, but I don't want her back. I want her to be happy. But that doesn't mean I can't be happy too. Link to comment
lady00 Posted November 13, 2008 Share Posted November 13, 2008 okay lady. you are a guy right? I generally would not pursue someone right after a breakup because I'm afraid of rebounds and the pain that is waiting on the other side that I am not dealing with by pursuing someone new. I suppose if I got into anything, it would probably have to be at a glacial pace. It would take me a while to even get to the stage of kissing. I would need a considerable amount of time than that to heal, on my own before making out with someone new. Link to comment
grymoire Posted November 13, 2008 Share Posted November 13, 2008 thats good your aware and honest about them but in my eyes thats the "so what". The question is, what are you going to do about it now!? right... i know which path to take but i don't know how to get there... i want to have good control over my emotions but how should i do it? if i want to build muscles i know i got to hit the gym.. but i have no idea how to build emotional muscles.. like Morpheus said in Matrix "there's a difference between knowing the path and walking the path" Link to comment
ghost69 Posted November 13, 2008 Share Posted November 13, 2008 I generally would not pursue someone right after a breakup because I'm afraid of rebounds and the pain that is waiting on the other side that I am not dealing with by pursuing someone new. I suppose if I got into anything, it would probably have to be at a glacial pace. It would take me a while to even get to the stage of kissing. I would need a considerable amount of time than that to heal, on my own before making out with someone new. so let me ask you this....would you move this fast if you were single and miss out on fun? do you move this fast let's say if you were healed for months and been single for months? Link to comment
grymoire Posted November 13, 2008 Share Posted November 13, 2008 On another note.... I think this is probably a record 16 pages.... CD is having some competition.... Today is Avi's day But it would be great if CD can come here and add to the confusion... ahem... the clarification Link to comment
ghost69 Posted November 13, 2008 Share Posted November 13, 2008 Today is Avi's day But it would be great if CD can come here and add to the confusion... ahem... the clarification please no. Link to comment
lady00 Posted November 13, 2008 Share Posted November 13, 2008 please no. lmao!!!!!!!!! Link to comment
Scorpion Fury Posted November 13, 2008 Share Posted November 13, 2008 Today is Avi's day But it would be great if CD can come here and add to the confusion... ahem... the clarification what's CD? Cat Dancer? Link to comment
grymoire Posted November 13, 2008 Share Posted November 13, 2008 please no. I would be damn curious to know what he would do if he were in Avi's position... a break up to deal with on the one side and a chance for some safe adult fun on the other side Link to comment
ImThatGirl Posted November 13, 2008 Share Posted November 13, 2008 Heheheheheh . . .. . You guys! I gotta go.... Try not to make this 20 pages longer in an hour because I'd like to catch up this evening. Link to comment
tiredofvampires Posted November 13, 2008 Share Posted November 13, 2008 But love is realizing that you never 'had' them. They were with you because of free will and now they no longer are. You want them to be happy because you love them, so you don't want to 'have' them. I loved my ex more than anything, but I don't want her back. I want her to be happy. But that doesn't mean I can't be happy too. I'm not sure what all went into your breakup...some are more hurtful, mean, and spiteful than others, and some play on our worst insecurities more than others. Some are more mutual and clean. I'm sorry that I haven't read much of your breakup, just that I know you had one, but the truth is that we all have insecurities and some breakups or losses just ARE harder than others to bear. And I don't think I've ever conceived of love as possession, or wanting to own someone. I am, if nothing, a card-carrying "if you love something, set it free, if it doesn't come back it wasn't yours to begin with" person. I don't think I'm saying that if we love someone and want to "have" them in our lives, and want to keep "having that", that means I want to "have" someone as in OWN or POSSESS them. That's a leap of interpretation. Link to comment
ghost69 Posted November 13, 2008 Share Posted November 13, 2008 some breakups can make you numb and you don't need to be sad at all. some are just like 'wth just happened' and you move on. i know i have plenty of times. Link to comment
grymoire Posted November 13, 2008 Share Posted November 13, 2008 on a separate note I'm That Girl is totally HOTT Link to comment
drewciouS281 Posted November 13, 2008 Share Posted November 13, 2008 Grym, i hear ya with knowing the path and walking it. IMO, walking the path is by just doing it!!!. All those fears you had about a girl and rejection, you need to put that aside and JUST DO IT, Nike style. If you get rejected dont let that be the end of it. Better to know than not know and better to learn what aproach works best and what doesnt. Its all a game of trial and error. Thats the path in my eyes. AND NOOOOOOO. Keep CD out of this ppplllleaze!!! That dude just likes attention. Link to comment
grymoire Posted November 13, 2008 Share Posted November 13, 2008 Grym, i hear ya with knowing the path and walking it. IMO, walking the path is by just doing it!!!. All those fears you had about a girl and rejection, you need to put that aside and JUST DO IT, Nike style. If you get rejected dont let that be the end of it. Better to know than not know and better to learn what aproach works best and what doesnt. Its all a game of trial and error. Thats the path in my eyes. AND NOOOOOOO. Keep CD out of this ppplllleaze!!! That dude just likes attention. Thanx bro... I agree with the fact that its a game of trial and error... May be it hurts a lot with the first rejection, a little less with the second, ....... , and eventually reaching a point where it just does not matter... Link to comment
Ac143 Posted November 13, 2008 Share Posted November 13, 2008 this post is just all over the place....Avi - good job moving on, if you can heal this fast, we shouldn't judge it. So be it....enjoy being single it can be VERY fun. GRY - stop making assuming and just make things happens already!!! Drew - NIKE STYLE???? lol really? LOL Link to comment
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