grymoire

The Lost Symbol was horrible ](*,)](*,)

Dan Brown's 'The Lost Symbol' is coming out on the 14th... I had pre-ordered it on Amazon and can't wait to get my hands on it. Yayyyyyy!

Two words - Space and Time. Put the distance between you and him and take it one day at a time. With each day you will get better. It will be slow and you got to be very very patient but rest assured that you will heal. After a year of NC even if you happen to see your ex kissing that girl you wouldn't hurt that much. Because you simply would not care.

when you say 5 inches do you mean in the flaccid state or erect state? how long is it when it is erect?

I think BYOB is right on. More solid clues would be if he flirts with you, compliments you, gives you extra attention.... If he says "Do you want to go for a coffee with me?" or something like that then that's a good sign...

I am a bit surprised about the number of replies saying that he likes this girl. Not sure what makes you guys think he likes her... On a different note how can a guy find out if a girl likes him as more than a friend?

Hi Solid I am not going to say that it is a perfect and ideal world and people are treated with respect regardless of their skin color or ethnicity. Racism exists and people are judged by how they look. I think all the white women that you asked out rejected you and went on dates with white guys. That got to you. You may have been passed up for a promotion in your company and it would have eventually gone to a white person. That got to you. Things like this keep happening and you eventually came to a conclusion that the only thing that matters is skin color. I wouldn't blame you for that. It is a natural reaction and you are pouring out your frustrations here. But just take a good look at your own posts. Does it sound non-judgemental and fair? No way!! You are telling that brown people are dumb and get only low jobs. I have no idea where you got that idea from. I am from India. My hair color is black. My skin color is brown I hold an M.S. degree from a good university in NY and currently work in the hi-tech industry earning 100k. I am also a member of the Indian Quiz Foundation. At the risk of sounding immodest I have to say that being a member of that organization unofficially means that I am in the upper 10% in a country of 1 billion people. But wait... by your logic I must be dumb and deserve only low jobs because my skin color is brown You are not dumb because your skin color is brown. You are dumb because you think you are dumb because your skin color is brown. So what if all those white females rejected you? Even white guys get rejected!! You just got to keep looking and find the one that is right for you regardless of her skin color. My best female friend is a white skinned Jewish woman. I liked her a lot but she rejected me because I am not Jewish. Just like you I felt so angry and was so bitter for a very very long time. You can see my posts everywhere in this forum about that. But how long can I possibly be bitter and angry and keep questioning "why is this girl being a bigot? why does she insist that she will only marry a Jew?". I finally got exhausted and accepted things as they are. Yes, I am not Jewish. Yes, I am not white. So this girl is not going to accept me. So what now? Should I live the rest of my life cribbing about this? Nope... I just move on to some other girl that is open minded and gives importance to other traits such as character and personality. I am damn sure that there will be atleast one girl in the USA that will like a brown skinned, smart, well educated, funny guy Bottom line, you will face some rejections and bad treatment from some people in your job or personal life. Either you keep whining about it OR you just accept things as they are and keep moving on with your life doing the best you can. The choice is clearly yours. Good luck

Telling a girl that you like her is a bad idea. You have to show a girl that you like her! Show that you like her by giving her attention, compliments, and flirt with her. If she responds positively ask her out on a date. When everything goes well and when you guys are in a good relationship you can tell her that you like her.

I always believe that once a girl sees a guy as "just friends" it will never ever change... regardless of how great a person he may be. Forget about how good or wonderful you are as a man. Once a woman says that you are her friend that is what you will be.... for the rest of your lifetime! I have personally undergone that painful experience. I know for sure that my female friend likes me a lot but she will not admit her feelings. I don't belong to her religion (Judaism) and that makes me an undatable man in her eyes. But the painful part is she will not even admit that she has feelings. And I don't know how to find out... I don't even care if we date or not... I just want to know how she truly feels about me

You CAN do it lilac! We are all here for you! Don't cry anymore.... Things will be fine very soon. I am sure the travel will keep your mind occupied. Don't worry about being seated next to your mom. Just plug-in your iPod and enjoy the music I hope the journey refreshes and energizes you! Drop us a line as soon as you get access to a system. Best, G

Hi lilac_indi, This is grymoire, a 31 year old man from India, now living in the USA. I completely understand your situation and know exactly what you are facing. I can clearly comprehend why your parents are behaving the way they are. Let me tell you one thing right away: YOU come first before anything else in this world!! That's right. YOU and not your culture, your parents, family, or society that is of utmost importance. All those things are secondary. Your happiness is what really counts and matters the most. Please understand that your parents are giving you a hard time BECAUSE they are operating on false beliefs. Whatever their parents passed onto them they are now enforcing it on you. Your parents believe that you should marry a man that is arranged by them. Your parents believe that if you marry someone that does not belong to your religion or culture then you are committing a deadly sin. Your parents believe that what other people think is more important than your own happiness. You know what? It does not matter what your parents believe. They are from a different generation and grew up with different set of values. We belong to a different generation, have more exposure, have more independence, and have the full freedom to choose the type of life we want to live. Please do not think that you are a worthless person just because you are not able to make your parents happy. You are under no obligation to make anyone happy. You do not need anybody's approval. It is perfectly okay if some people do not like you. It is a simple reality. Not everybody can make everybody else happy. Not everyone can get the approval of everyone else. You are a worthy human being that totally deserves a happy and meaningful life. You need to love yourself. You need to give yourself unconditional acceptance. In other words you need to accept and love yourself despite whatever imperfections you may have. Your wanting to choose a man by yourself is not wrong at all. I am an Indian and I am completely against arranged marriages. This is the 21st century, people that yap about arranged marriages should go and hide in their caves!! I am not trying to offend your parents but I am disgusted by what they are doing to their own wonderful daughter. Calling you names and spitting on your face just because you went out on dates is barbaric and unacceptable behavior. To your parents the opinions of neighbors matter more than the happiness of their own children. And do you think you are under some sort of obligation to make them happy? No you are not! I really really want you to stop what you are doing to your young body. Please take this request from your Indian brother from the USA. Please I plead you. I may not have met you and I don't have a personal connection with you but I can channel my emotions and thoughts through this medium. First and foremost start eating three times a day. Do not keep thinking about your ex or your parents. Do not think about anything. All you got to do is start eating again. I am afraid your brain may force an orderly shut-down of your critical organs one by one should you continue on this self imposed moratorium. Please do not take your body for granted. It is precious and it is just not worth it to harm yourself for other peoples' stupidity. The second and critical step is to go and consult with a doctor as soon as possible. If there is any internal damage you do not want that to propogate to other organs. Please get a complete medical check-up. An imbalance of vital chemicals may have devastating results. I really care for you and I do not want you to suffer. Please take this advice from your brother and go do the two steps - Eat and get medical help from a doctor. We can take care of the other problems later on. First things first! I know that you are travelling to India now. I hope that you take our advice and make us all happy. We, the imperfect people, are all here for you! I am also going to start sending private messages to you. Please drop us a line as soon as you get a chance. We can't wait to hear from you! Hugs, G

I guess I can also get some help here. One of my friends wants to meet me so often. I tried the "I am busy" card but she will suggest another time to meet up. She pretty much insists on seeing me. Can I just tell "Sorry but I am not interested"? Won't that be very rude?

I didn't beg but I wanted so badly for a girl to want a relationship with me, but she didn't. She adores me, chases me, enjoys being with me, insists on meeting up with me, misses me a lot, ....... but she doesn't want a relationship with me. Can there be anything more horrible? One thing I did learn from this. I realized that I didn't have any control over this girl. I just couldn't get her as a girlfriend. I felt powerless. It then dawned on me that we just cannot control other people.. their behavior and what they want to do. In the same light it occurred that the only person I can control is MYSELF I have now convinced myself not to be interested in this girl EVEN if she wants me. She has caused way too much pain.

When you guys say 5 to 10 minutes are you talking about the time the p@nis is inside the v@gina moving in and out before eventually c@mming? Thats pretty long in my opinion. Or may be I have a problem??? Usually when I m@sturbate I cum very very quickly..

That is right on! Your insight is great Fisch

Okay so looks like you have only been a casual co-worker and a friend to him. If you don't mind me asking, how old are you both? How long do you know each other? Also, in one of your posts you have mentioned this: Can you expound on it a bit more? What exactly happened? Did this guy tell you that he likes you after you told that you were interested in someone?

Hi Polarwinds, I am not trying to support this guy.. just trying to look at this situation from his perspective. Did you by any chance knowingly or unknowingly behave in a way that made him think you are into him? May be you complimented him a lot, as colleagues you did lot of lunches/coffees (just the 2 of you).. something like that? Because I cannot imagine someone being so persistent when there is absolutely no hope whatsoever.

hmmm.. may be she used it as an excuse. I don't know... I may not have game. She is 30 years old, works in a financial company as a Manager, moved from the East Coast to California becuase her parents live here, goes to her parents house every friday for the weekly sabbath, and finally always speaks only the truth. She is brutally honest.... So when she said she will marry only a Jew and registered her profile in link removed I thought may be she really meant it.... But i could be wrong. I don't know what's in her mind.

That's exactly what I thought too. But if at all I know one thing about this girl it is the fact that she is brutally honest. She just doesn't lie even to spare somebody's feelings. She said "I can't date you because you are not my type". I asked her what she meant by that and she said "Let me tell you my biggest secret... I can only marry a Jew or atleast a Christian. My grandfather died in World War II.." and I stopped her right there. I don't know why any girl would have to talk about their grandfather's death just so as to spare the guy's feelings... especially an upfront girl like her. I am not wanting her to change her mind or anything like that.... this happened last year and even though i am not over it completely I have accepted it. She has now registered in link removed and is looking for dates. Doesn't that say that she is particular about Jewish guys?

You all know my story..... The girl that was crazy about me said that she will "only marry a Jew or atleast a Catholic Christian". I am an Indian (Hindu) and she is a Jewish American. I felt like crap when she said that... I even had to pinch myself to check whether I am in the USA or in a small village in India. What is the use of wanting to be with me so much? By the end of the day she gets back to her cave and starts her Jew hunt. She has now registered in link removed (jewish dating site) and seriously hunting for a Jewish guy.... I truly thought that in America personality and character will have more importance... but when I heard this religion thing from her I just lost it all....

I am an Indian guy and had loads of American and other foreign girls as friends. A lot of them were very interested in me and also went out with me. But since I was new to the American culture I really didn't know anything about Dating and hence lost lot of wonderful opportunities. It's like I was on a date without realizing that it was a date. Those girls went away thinking that I was not interested And most recently I had an experience with a Jewish American woman which most of you know about. She was crazy about me but she clearly said she will get serious only with a Jew or atleast a Christian. To me it sounded like "sorry brown skinned guy... i only want white skinned Americans". Because Jews and Christians are all white skinned Americans or Europeans... what can I probably do?????

He honestly told you about his feelings and you honestly told that you don't feel the same way. As a guy that has been in this situation I request you the following 1) When he says fine after you reject him and starts walking back please don't call him and try to explain things. 2) Please don't try to meet him the very next day. 3) If he says it's going to be painful to be your friend with all these feelings please understand and let him go. Do not say that it pains you a lot to see him go. Don't beg him to continue the friendship. 4) Please do not try to meet him so much like how you used to before the rejection. Don't run after him and beg him to meet you for lunch, coffee, walks, movies, games, or concerts. 5) Don't say sentences like "I miss you", "You are breaking my heart", "It feels like forever since we met". 6) If you ask to meet for lunch and if he politely says 'we will do it some other time' get the hint and leave him alone. Don't say 'let's meet for coffee if not for lunch' or some other ways to spend time with him. 7) Do not ask him to move to your city so that you can spend more time with him. #8. When you do meet him please do not say something like "30 minutes is not enough. We should hang out more... I wish we spent more time. What are you doing this weekend? Shall we hang out?" 9) Don't become depressed if he goes on a vacation. 10) Drop the idea of trying to meet him alone 3 to 4 times every week. 11) When you hang out with him do not touch him a lot. Don't give him any friendly punches or kicks or whatever. 12) Don't be persistent about having lunch only with him. Try to meet your other friends or colleagues. 13) If he says he is moving to some other city don't say 'I don't want you to go... If you go to that city I will come to a nearby city'. 14) Don't frame one of his pictures and hang it in your apartment wall. Bottom line -> Say that you are not interested in him and really mean it!! Thanks

slightly off-topic but i always thought that a girl will never ever date her male friend.... however great he is.

Word!! I second that without a doubt!