smackie9

Muddy....you shouldn't have to work this hard and be this disappointed in a relationship. Should be a happy and exciting time of love, sharing and caring. It should be a smoother ride than this. You are not her therapist, and should take on such a task. Especially after only 7 months. You are not the one with the problem. So why make her problem yours?

Insecure people stay insecure. They need constant reassurance and by you reassuring them, you enable the behavior. They get insecure, you reassure them, they calm down. When it wears off, they trigger to need reassurance, you give it to them, it goes away. It's a vicious cycle. Doesn't matter if you are honest and open, it just creates more assess for them to be insecure about. Even if you cut off all the female people out of your life, it will not stop this behavior. This is not fixable. Send her packing...and when you do, tell her to get professional help. Her insecurity is the reason why you needed to end this. Setting boundaries will only exasperate things. Your counselor is right, you shouldn't have to do anything to accommodate by hurting others.

Ask her out on a future date (when possible). That's all it takes for a woman to know how you feel about her...that you are interested in her romantically.

I am not going to pick any sides here. Something about this gift triggered something in him to make him react badly. It is up to you to go find out. Tell him "Lets stop with the silent treatment and talk about it." "Help me to understand."

Hey we don't know their dynamic. She may say she doesn't dump on him a lot, but when she does it makes him uncomfortable. She pushed, he pushed back because well teenagers don't like to be told what to do. IMO the writing is on the wall....find a new BF.

It’s not appropriate at all. Go to your gf and tell her you have a new female friend. New friend and you are going out for dinner maybe a movie she is buying. Now see her reaction. Then turn to her and say that doesn’t feel right now does it.

They are teenagers not an adult married couple. Relationships and how they are handled at that age are different. Guys that age are not mentally developed yet to handle emotional stress from a partner. It’s unfortunate for her yes, I totally understand her frustration and disappointment . As an adult this would be intolerable but can’t expect much from a teenage boy. The recommendation would be for the OP to dump this chump because he doesn’t have to capacity to be supportive.

Guys are not emotional creature as much as females, especially young guys....they have the attention span of a nat. Guys like to just be happy and carry on with life with positive thoughts. Issues, most of the time they would rather sweep it under the rug, and go watch sports and enjoy themselves. You want a sympathetic ear, find a GF to share your whoas with.

Remember no means no. The alcohol made the both of you have poor judgement. If she has a BF, she reached her limit as to how far this was going to go...she just couldn't do it anymore. I feel she needs time to reflect on her situation. You never know she might reach out to you again. I would give it a month. But for now, just keep dating.

It wasn't WEEEEKS, it was less than 3. Something happened that she didn't like very much....maybe you being annoyed with her was it, who knows. Maybe her friends said something to her, like you weren't going to fit in. But I have been there. The guy said something or something in his behavior made me see we weren't compatible. Or she had an ex pull her back in. Anyways, onward and upwards.

Have to ask yourself...would you date someone like you? For one thing you need self improvement with your attitude, your out look on life, and self love/confidence. If you feel awkward and negative, that is the impression these potential dates have of you. I would suggest a life coach, not a dating coach. I hope you are working with a therapist because you have a lot of anxiety, which is preventing you from having proper interactions with people. You need that in order to develop friendships and romantic relationships. There is definitely no quick fixes here.

maybe this is why things have always been up and down...and it's not going to change. Just make sure you don't pay for gas...it's either him or them.

Gaslighting AND stonewalling, defensiveness, lying. This is a bad BF, and a bad person. You have been a pushover. You can't fix him, this is his personality, and can't be undone by anyone but a therapist, and a will to want to change. That's too complicated, so lets keep it simple....end the relationship.

Don't do it.

before you decide to punt her to the curb....communicate with her. Have a good solid, non defensive conversation about what happened, ask questions, express concern, etc. Talk it through. Come to a compromise, or make a decision.

You guys are young and still learning things about life....your friends are immature yes...but I can see how anyone would seize an opportunity to get some juicy gossip and without thinking, not see how rude it is. Human nature. Damage control. You are going to have to admit, your friends did something bad, and you will address it with them..man up! The rest is take blame for your behavior...do some grovelling to win her over. If she puts up a fight, pull away and let her kool off. She may lash out from time to time...it's just her way of venting her hurt. Hopefully it will blow over soon.

If you don't feel bad about what's happen and you are all giddy about buy her a gift, don't you think it's time to cut your GF loose? Obviously you are no longer invested in your GF, and seek out emotional affections of another girl. I think you at least you owe your GF the decency to end the relationship.

Well she is in for some playtime, but nothing emotional, and should take her word for it. She's bi-curious. You can't force this. If there is opportunity, sure play along, but I would just suggest not getting your feelings invested anymore as hard as that sounds. Sorry it didn't work out for you. You have a fun friend and you should cherish that at least. There will be someone else in the future that will catch your eye, and hopefully they will feel the same way.

If you can't afford a more expensive place, maybe suggest in lieu of the extra cost you will provide some light house cleaning, like vacuuming, dusting in common areas, take out the garbage, clean the bathroom once a week. Make a deal. Or you store some of your stuff at your parents, sell stuff and live with less so you can take lesser accommodations.

Look as ugly as you can. have messy hair, dirty baggy clothes on, no makeup etc. Just be gross/disgusting around him, burp/fart, be unpleasant. If he bugs you, lose you mind on him. Or you can have a guy friend over that looks intimidating, bigger the better and have him pretend he's your BF.

Ya it's hard because you see them 8+ hours a day. Workplace bonding is common and since you feel alone in your marriage, you have someone there everyday to give you attention you so crave. It's new, thrilling and can be intoxicating. At least you recognize it as something dangerous to your marriage. That's the first step..acknowledgement. Next step to take: Since you have no family/friends to occupy your time with, I suggest you find a hobby or an interest. Something you can do with your wife possibly, or something that is creative, something you can look forward to doing after work. You need to add something to your life that gives you some fulfillment/joy.

There is a light hormone vaginal cream that can be prescribed. It will take the edge off the symptoms of menopause, and bring back some of the tingle down there, helps with vaginal pain during sex. It's easy to use, she can control the dosage, sometimes only needing it once or twice a month.

There is surgery that will take care of that. Pillar procedure (palatal implant) The pillar procedure, also called a palatal implant, is a minor surgery used to treat snoring and less severe cases of sleep apnea. It involves surgically implanting small polyester (plastic) rods into the soft upper palate of your mouth. Each of these implants is about 18 millimeters long and 1.5 millimeters in diameter. As the tissue around these implants heals, the palate stiffens. This helps keep the tissue more rigid and less likely to vibrate and cause snoring. My friend's husband had it done and with great results.

What you were doing was coping in ways that were detrimental to your emotional health. When that happens, it's way too difficult to stop the cycle and things just keep getting darker. You know the stove it hot and it will cause you pain, but you keep touching it over and over hoping for a different outcome. Maybe try to find some self help books on ways to "cope" with whatever arises in your life in healthier ways. It's easy and low cost, all you have to do is invest your time to it. I'm so sorry for your loss. I hope we can give you some light in your life at least to get you started on your journey to better mental health. 🙂

It takes time but you will eventually move on. Then months down the road you will look back at this and say "what was I thinking? how silly was I !"