smackie9

You are an adult at 24. legally, you can do whatever you want....like date whomever you want.

I just think your family are being a little over protective is all. Bottom line, they don't want you getting pregnant adding more issues to your situation. Keep it a secret if you wish, until you get yourself out from under their roof and be independent.

you are being pretty gullible if you think you can make this work.

Sounds like you posted on another site...that your partner has done this sort of thing before...now he's fallen off the wagon once again. He's running away from his issues....was there a death in the family too? Oh ya he was such a sweet guy...when he wasn't a raging alcoholic. The advice is going to be the same. You are best to divorce him and move on. Some people can do sobriety, some can't. You can't make him quit. Only he can make that decision. Not worth putting yourself and family through this anymore.

Everyone accepts different things. If it's a healthy friendship with proper boundaries I think it would be OK. You on the other hand are going through some mental strain over this. For some people this would be a deal breaker. I suggest ending the relationship. Sounds like it's not going well anyways. Your energy is better spent punting him to the curb. He's just not worth it.

I say party girl. She's less maintenance. You can do whatever you want and there is no commitment so your options are always open. You have sex, then she leaves and expects nothing...it's a win.

So she put it out there she's interested....doesn't matter what anyone thinks, it's about how you feel. Doesn't feel right? Then just decline or skirt around it and just congratulate her on her finding a new job....then leave it. Me personally wouldn't date any of my exes friends. I totally get it, you have removed yourself from that scene 10 years ago, and don't want to revisit that.

That is what abusers do...they prey on the emotionally vulnerable. Usually find someone that has low self esteem or had a bad life or at a low point in their life. They start out as the protector. Then slowly deny you access to friends and family, filling your head with lies. You become too invested, and that's when it really starts. You want to do right by them, make them happy and stop the abuse so you are willing to do anything. It becomes a viscous cycle that's hard to get out of. They gaslight you making you doubt yourself, make you think you are the crazy one. It's horrible. The tricky part is staying out of it for good. You are only a week out and still very vulnerable. They usually reach out, say they miss you, apologize, promise they will be good etc. It's gonna be a challenge. Stay strong. Make sure he cannot contact you/see you or know what you do. Might be a good idea to shut down your social media for awhile.

He never really cared about you. He has always put himself first. You have known this since the beginning so why keep going back? This isn't about BF/GF, this is about his character. A decent man would have made sure you got home safe. Your BF/ex was on the hunt to get laid because he saw opportunity in one of those girls. Abuse or not, your bf /ex is a jerk. You my dear need to locate your self esteem and self worth. You need to know you deserve better.

Further the conversation. Find out if it was just an experiential one time thing out of curiosity, or a type of lifestyle she's into. Better to find out now rather that be too invested and having more hurt having to stop seeing her. I say this because you have a strong stance against it. You are not going to "get over this" anytime soon or you wouldn't be here.

This should be the last straw. Divorce him and move on. Sadly not everyone can recover and stick with sobriety. It's time to free yourself.

He is clearly telling you to move on. He's sticking to his decision.

What she tells you is not a promise. It's a guise to get attention from you. You are being used.

Well you seem to have learned your lesson, and right now you just need to start moving forward. Let it go, let him go. In another week or two you will feel better.

This breakup, no matter who did what, is a good thing.

Not worth it. This is why you need alone time....he emotionally drains you because he's abusive/a bully. It needs to end because he will never compromise anything for you.

Sorry but these things are unhealthy...online relationships are 10 to 20% reality and 80% fantasy. It's an incredible phenomenon....some people even get duped out of thousands of dollars. Whatever you can't have, like actually seeing the person, or able to feel/touch/ be with them, your imagination fills all that in for you which makes it dangerously intoxicating. In reality you are addicted, and that's when you lose all common sense. As you can see us as outsiders our reaction is, "I wouldn't put up with this after a couple of weeks." You have been doing this for over 5 months. Yes lonely people are very vulnerable to this sort of thing, especially due to covid. Your answer is to get out of this right now. Stop talking to this person.

I have been in your shoes and I know what I'm talking about. I dated an abusive guy from 15 to 17. I stayed because I thought I loved him blah blah blah.....later I admit to myself it was a me problem and should have never dated him in the first place. Not your fault? It isn't anyone's fault. I know you didn't cause him to treat you this way, but you were letting him treat you badly. When you choose to keep going back, you must take accountability for what happens to you.

yes regardless if you are or not dating, she was being rude no matter who she was texting. When I'm out for lunch with a friend or whatever, my phone is in my purse not on the table. Just me but I think texting while hanging out/having a conversation with someone is poor manners. BUT if you are not interested in anything with this girl, for the love of god stop sleeping with her. Go back to being friends...not sure how long that's gonna last because sex does change everything.

This isn't a relationship problem, this is a YOU problem. Get professional counseling. You definitely can't figure this out on your own.

Us women think with our emotions. Things like, body language/mannerisms, sound of your voice, sense of humor, confidence, is all analyzed emotionally. So after many first dates...I can't narrow it down to just one thing, but I can eliminate your looks. You are attractive enough to get dates. So it's something that's there or not there that's not keeping them interested emotionally or touching on their emotions.

It means nothing in a romantic sense. Just part of the conversation. she would contact you directly if she wanted to rekindle anything.

Tell him since there is no prospect of a relationship, you are ok with just hanging out as just friends, no intimacy. Keep your options open for the real deal. If you are lonely, get a dog to fill your heart with love.

Basically she is telling you she doesn't feel a connection and has no interest in dating you. Just leave it at that and move on. can't win them all. When you reached out, she had to try something else to shake you off. Sux but for next time, don't contact them again.

Confessing is a stupid move. That puts a lot of pressure on her especially when she's still trying to emotionally get over her last relationship. Back off. If you get intense, it's going to scare her away because she won't be able to handle it. Dude she's emotionally unavailable. Let her be for now, be a little aloof, cool, laid back....let her breath.