smackie9

If she was truly remorseful, she wouldn't have anymore contact with this guy...but she continues so she's blowing smoke up your butt. The only reason she wants you back is for financial reasons. If her mother helped her hide the affair, that tells me she's been feeding your mother in-law lies about you and how you treat her, I can guarantee it. Your wife is being very manipulative or at least trying to. I agree you need to move back home first, and then quietly consult a lawyer to start the proceedings.

He does have somewhere to go....he can go live with the other woman. Make sure he doesn't have access to your accounts/valuables. Don't be surprise you come home and he has cleaned you out. If it were me I would pack up most of my stuff right away in one swoop, and put it into storage or at a friends place, like TV, couch, etc. Stop buying food. Once he feels the pinch, he will find a place to go. And that cel phone...oh hell ya cut him off. This guy is a con, a leech. You have every right to tell him it's over and boot him out. He hasn't contributed to the household, so you owe him nothing.

So are you thinking if she was genuine in her feelings for you that you may have a missed opportunity? That maybe if you gave it a chance things could have turned out good? She must have made an impression on you if these feelings have resurfaced after running into her. Are you thinking of giving her another go? You never know what she could be like these days. People can change. Since she was sort of feeling so thirsty after her divorce, maybe it's out of her system now. Maybe start fresh and see.

Block block and block some more. He sounds dangerous so make sure you document all his attempts to interact with you. You will need proof of his harassment. If he shows up at your door call the police.

Ya you need to get a restraining order and so do your parents. If you go hide out at a relatives place for awhile and he shows up at your parents, he still can go to jail. Call the police and arrange them. Ya when he has had time in the pokie he will think twice about bothering you. I also suggest surveillance cameras and a big mean dog.

Be distant and aloof. See if she reacts. That is the best course of action. We desire most that is out of reach. Pouring heart out is a turn off so don’t do it.

This guy is confusing because he is as awkward as you. Throw the guy a bone and suggest meeting up for a drink.

This guy is a real wiener. Block and delete all contact

Simple go live with family and call social services to help you get into a program that helps adults with mental illness to live independently, life skills and get employment You might be able to get government subsidies to help with room and board.

2 months is long enough to know, what you see is what you get. And if you are not getting what you need out of this relationship, you dump him and find someone that will meet your expectations. You can't force someone to change or become your ideal BF...that's not going to happen ever. There is nothing you can do or say to change this, except leaving the relationship. This is why we "date"...to find out if they meet our expectations and fulfill our needs. Like I always say date those who treat you the way you expect to be treated. The reality is, he's just not doing it for you, it's feeling unbalanced which will lead to you being unsatisfied, unhappy, and thirsty for emotional connection. You sound young...it took me awhile to figure it out too at your age. I never regretted moving on to find what I wanted out of a relationship. Everything is new, you are in the infatuation stage...it's hard to let go...maybe in a few more months, to a year when it eventually wears off.

hey it's all about adjustment...even when me and my husband started living together, the adjustment took about a year before things started to "fit right." I have to say it was really tough. But I digress... Here's the deal, your BF is terrible with communication. His approach is so passive/aggressive/condescending, that it's degrading you. He's being a total Pr %ck. When he does it, you have to not let him get away with it. Talk to him about his comment immediately when it happens. You stop and ask him, what point is he trying to get across and discuss it. Tell him to talk to you properly and to be honest. Losing your mind on him only confirms to himself he is right and you are wrong. He gets his back up, and you lost the battle. So just be firm, direct to the point, stay calm. Now here's another tip, stop doing his laundry. You are not his mother, he's a big boy he can do his own. He needs to take his turn to clean the toilet, wash floors. This is where you have gone wrong...stop taking on things he should be doing himself. He thinks things are uneven well lets see what he thinks about the new arrangements when the chores are actually split down the middle.

It's just a matter of mixed emotions/ mixed up feelings after a breakup. Most do act hastily at first and block/delete/post negative things, etc. Then they calm down, and start going through the adjustment period. People can do/say weird things when they are in this process of adjustment, but not have any meaning or hidden messages, most likely a knee jerk reaction. Maybe after she thanked you she cringed and told herself "Why did you respond like that, I feel like an idiot now."

You are a musician so you know anything is possible as long as you put your mind to it and practice till you do get it. Just a thought, why not try that same approach to things you would like to change. Your frustration is normal, we all face life's challenges, some harder than others, that's just how life can be. It's tough for sure, and can be discouraging. Discouragement is the worst, you sometimes can feel it in the pit of your stomach. I think if you pick at it little at a time, it eventually gives way to something good/positive or at least some encouragement to keep going. Maybe do some exercises to clear your mind when you get over whelmed. I know this happens to me, the multiple thoughts clogs my thinking, and bogs me down mentally, I get angry sometimes lash out. I learn to just find a quiet place to shake it off. Sometime I go for a walk as a distraction. As to approach woman, wow that is so daunting for anyone, and no easy task really. I think it's key to let them get comfortable with you first so they can see what's under the wrapping. You know build up a rapport with them. Sure it's gonna be a hit or miss, but at least you keep trying and that one of the most positive things you can do for yourself...just keep trying!

Why date someone that makes you vibrate with anger, uncomfortable, and dismisses your feelings? Your solution...stop dating this guy.

There are dating sites for people who have different disabilities.

It's unusual because men see having sex outside the marriage is cheating, but since emotional affairs are not physical, then it's a pass. This guy is making up his own rules. Don't want to follow his rules? Then stop talking to him.

What he is asking of you is to have an open relationship...eventually he will request swinging, etc. You are not overly jealous. Your reaction is quite normal. Yes there are people who are ok with this sort of stuff but it's pretty obvious you are not. You two are not compatible...end it.

If you take this very seriously, you and your BF need to go to an Al-Anon meeting and get some insight on how to handle his mom and her drinking problem. Hopefully it will open his eyes in how he is enabling her with helping her out, and maybe just maybe see if he can encourage her (haha) to deal with her drinking. Usually with drinking, there are also mental health issues, so there is no easy fix for this, just lots of research, and counseling.

Monogram stuff is to be shown, like on a briefcase, a set of bath towels, etc. I like the standard print myself.

Jewelry etc is very personal. Unless he admired it I wouldn't get it for him. I would get him something he can really use like snap-on tools, or a bottle of his favorite Whisky or a pair of vintage air jordans he collects, new video game, hockey jersey, etc. See where I'm going with this? Men prefer more practical things. They are not romantically sentimental the way women are.

Sounds like he's in denial, so he's gonna find every opportunity to brush things off, and possibly gaslight you into making you think you are crazy.

That's just part of dating tho....it's a crap shoot until you meet the right one.

You can't force recovery, you can't force to like someone new, you need to cut out the dating, and focus on your mental health. Not all therapists are the same. Try a different one. The only way to have therapy benefit you is to be very honest, and guide that therapist of your expectations...and speak up! If you are still messed up and want to try a different therapy, it's just not working for you, just say so. Only You can help yourself get through this with lots of determination.

I also say he's just too lukewarm. He hasn't actually asked you out on a proper date...had plenty of time to do so...2 weeks! Now he's throwing weird suggestions around, and you are on your guard about this. I wouldn't hold my breath.

You are welcome! let us know how it goes. Hope you can get some answers.