electricorchid

To be honest, No.I wouldn't be, i was very much interested in the other guy... But he left me for his ex & yes, this guy would have bene my second choice. Good point

That's EXACTLY what it's felt like.. just a penpal. never giving me a specific date to hang out etc. just being very vague that he's "attempted" to ask me out which.. yes and no. You're so right... not wasting my time. ALSO he just unfollowed me on instagram so thankgod I didnt

Hi everyone, I need a little advice, I matched with this guy 6 months ago who seems to be a really good guy. But because I was so focused on dating this other 34 four year old idiot who was waste of my time I potsponed this guy and put our plans on the backburner (he asked me to dinner and i said forsure but I'll let you know when) and kept using covid as an excuse not to meet up with him. He's my height.. has a handsome face & is the business owner at this place I go to eat at all the time in new york, he's a pretty cool dude overall I'm just now realizing I've been an idiot for not paying attention to him. He replied to my instagram story once and said "ahem, I've been trying to ask you out for the past 10 weeks" and thats when I asked him if he was down to facetime. At first I told him we should facetime if our schedules were tough for us to both make it out and gave him my number and all he said was "Cool, I will def. let you know", (& then he never did) but then he sent me other flirtacious texts. I then went to his restaurant on purpose to finally see what he was about and we met while my friends were there. I liked his vibe, but then I went to the bathroom and as I was walking out the alcohol got the best of me and I said some stupid to him like that He hasnt really made an attempt other than texting me flirty things, and that i know we're both busy but that I'm ready when he is or something stupid. I felt like a complete idiot the next day and wrote him "Hi, Dont know what I said to you yesterday but wanted to apologize if I was rude or rambling after I left the bathroom. I got carried away with alcohol but it was lovely to meet you and your place looks great the way you set it up recently. Enjoy your weekend!" I replied to me "Not at all! you were cute, and anyways I like it a little spicy. Haha" So..... I have not heard from him since. I've noticed he's stopped watching my instagram like he used to, I messed it all up didnt I? or is there still a chance I can follow up and ask this guy what he's doing on thursday? I just feel like a hypocrite for going to his restaurant but then postponing date after date. UGHHH. I'm not perfect you guys, what should I do? My friends are telling me I didnt mess up, and that I was totally normal infront of him but they didnt see the part where I tripped infront of him and rambled to him

Yikes. This sounds like a huge turn off if he's that selfish to only care about himself getting off. Like If I were you I wouldnt want to neither be with that or be attracted to that.

Sounds like you're not that into her, and you should politely tell her.

I think you should try meditating at night, put some lavender essential oil drops on your wrist and breathe in and out. Try to relax, clearly you are dreaming of something that's giving you this unrestlessness due to some trauma or bad memory. Always remind yourself before you go to sleep that you look forward to new dreams and to new memories and the future, that the past is the past.Tell that to yourself over and over again till you fall asleep

You need to ask yourself what it is YOU want and then go from there. It you want something more, or more commitment you NEED to address this. Communication is KEY. Don't ASSUME anything, it doesnt ever matter if he shows signs of jealousy you need to be direct and ask. "How are we both feeling about this? I've been feeling some feelings that I didnt expect to initially feel, and was wondering if you felt the same? Because I'd like for us to be exclusive." etc. That's a good start. I was in a FWB for TWO frekin years and I don't wish it upon anyone, most people who are OKAY with casual sex and that sort of thing will numb out any emotions they have towards the other person in such a scientifical bonding act. You cant beat science, or the release of oxytocin in woman that naturally bonds us with the guy. My mistake was a HUGE LACK of communication, therefore that's why I'm telling you to talk it out before it's too late, and before it hurts worse.

That's exactly IT. Bingo, you nailed it. Thats how I've been feeling, he'll show up but only when I text him and then anytime he's with his friends who have girlfriends he'll invite me so he's not alone. only on THREE ocassions he's actually texted me first. The past two months the inconsistent texting has been going on and I addressed it with him but nothing changed. Time to move on

NO. Thank goddddd.

The guy I've been talking to for 5 months and dating for 2 months, after wanting to see me on tuesday) and after having a spectacular date last saturday, dissapeared on my this weekend. We've had the exclusive talk.. and he told me "we aren't just a fling" & I was telling my friends this time I wasnt reaching out, I wanted to see if he would actually text me and make plans and he didnt.. he didn't even ask me what I was up to. This sunday, I noticed his ex (as I stalk her sometimes) posted they were out having drinks together, and he reposted it on his story. Did this a hole actually repost it on his story so that I would get the hint? As he hasnt checked my instagram stories what-so-ever. I can't believe this is happening, I know it has nothing to do with me or my worth but I'm in complete shock on the way he would handle this.. Immaturely. as if he can't politely tell me the truth!? Some of my friends are telling me I should text him, others are telling me not to and block him on everything. I havent done anything at all, but I'm going more towards the route of not speaking to him until he ever reaches out. if EVER. The ex is truth be told, not as pretty... quite basic but I cant judge because at the end of the day it's about their connection and I cant compete with that, in fact I wasnt ever even planning on it. Shes just not at my level so I'm turned off almost with the idea he would downgrade to go back to a relationship he would complain to me was "toxic", and "too much drama". What are your thoughts on how I can handle this maturely? I want to do nothing about it, And has anyone even had something like happen to them

PREACH. wow...... yeah, i 100% agree with you. just an update, he asked me to dinner... we went out on a dinner date and he told me he saw this as leading up to something serious and defenitly doesnt see this as a fling. So thats a good sign but even that answer to me was unclear so I've concluded I'm just going to wait it out some more.

I defenity did and couldnt agree more. Thankyou so much for your input

This was probably my favorite answer, Thankyou for writing your perspective. Understand that him saying that was more so not an announcement (I feel) he was just letting me know because during our make out things got very heated at one point so he was just reassuring me, although I completely agree with you. I now after thinking through and reading what you have to say think it's best to just hang out and let things progress organically till it just ends up happening or not.

Nothing casual. He and I both discussed we both don't like wasting our time and are interested in partnership at some point.

Thankyou so much for your answer, I definitely couldnt agree with you more, It's just that It's been an extremely long time since a guy hasnt treated me like and was honest and passive about his feelings towards sex, but like you said that should be the standard! and nothing less.