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  1. Yeah thats how I felt in moment, and finding out later that she had left me for someone else really drove it in. I was just completely blown by the selfishness, and lying that happened.
  2. Yes I agree with you. Her not understanding my side was the hardest part. For someone that used to care about me deeply to be that selfish was a very hurtful. Yes I need to put an end to it.
  3. I just need a moment to vent. 😶 when my last relationship ended my ex said at the end she really wanted to stay friends. I looked at her in disbelief thinking she realized a majority of people didn't stay friends with their exs. I couldn't say yes at the time because I still deeply loved her and knew this never worked for me. I told it would take a very very long time before we could even try, and I would need time away from her. Two days later she committed on a fb post I had made and I feel she didn't respect my boundaries. She continued to like and also heart my posts since then. (More then a year ago). I know I should have blocked her. When we sat down 5 months after the relationship to talk she again begged for the friendship and refused to see me as her ex. She was very adamant to keep me in her life. Granted this hurt me in the moment, I felt she didn't understand the amount of pain this was putting on me.
  4. Yes as much as I still want the relationship, it would have been very very hard to keep with a lot of work from both of us. I was very let down in the moment that I was sitting there saying I am willing to do anything to make this relationship to work and the other person wouldn't even try. I mean now in hindsight (and even then I had a suspicion) I see that she had someone else in mind and had no reason to work for ours.
  5. It was over a year ago. I definitely saw red flags in the beginning of the relationship, and how quickly she fell for me was a concern for me. In the end I wanted the relationship to work no matter what and u think that's what hit me the hardest.
  6. So from my other post I have come to understand from the replies that I should find professional help in treating my depression. I am actively working on that so that I have more stable out look on life in general. My next question is how do I enter a new relationship without the fear that I won't relive my past again and have to watch this person walk away from me like the rest did? I know this is a baggage a carry but in the past it has made pretty gun shy in new relationships. Granted I'm not planning on dating anytime soon.
  7. I just keep falling back into feeling she was the one. It just makes it so hard.
  8. I feel like I will get roasted for saying these things but oh well here it goes. I'm still overweight even with the weight I've lost, I'm slightly below average height, basically bald, teeth have been an issue for along time. I'm a social butterfly however there are times I tend to retract into myself and it's hard to engage. Some of these things I can fix and I'm in the process, some I can't fix. I tend to question myself a bit and I'm not over the tip in believing in myself. Which I guess is considered a lack of self confidence. I feel alot of time I take a very cautious and calculated look at most aspects of life and alot of people feel that is unattractive/ low confidence.
  9. I'm glad you think that, and yes I agree it is still young however the majority of people are either married or in long term relationships. I'm just stating what I'm going through maybe for other people its great and they have lots of different people to choose from. That's not my reality. I'm not being negtive or positive just realistic.
  10. Yes I know that's primarily my job what I meant was finding someone that we both push each other to be the best each other can be.
  11. Yes in regards to dating, its pretty general understanding that dating doesn't get any easier as you get older the amount of options gets slimmer and slimmer.
  12. Yes I have come to that conclusion. I know I will have people interested in me, however will it be people that I'm interested as well. Maybe that's poor word choosing on my part. Yes there will be people interested in dating me but I will not be interested in dating them. Maybe that's where I need accept the unfairness and date people that I have no interest in just so I have some one in my life. That's what really scares me is having to settle for a relationship that is one-sided in interest and I have is someone that stays. Granted I know that may come off as egotistical or me whining about not getting what I want. But should I really chase relationships with people I'm not interested in and that don't push me to be better?
  13. What kind of things did he do that caused you to run from him? Yes I know there is no guarantee to finding someone, and I know if I have the mindset that I won't will not happen either. One thing that I feel that we're all ignoring is that plenty of people that have baggage, insecurities, depression etc get into relationships everyday. Granted they might not be healthy or right however they have that chance. That's where I feel the pain is my chances are so far and few between. Even with my ex I saw red flags, one big one was she was not over her ex at all and he came up alot in our conversations. One big issue I noticed was that she saw no fault in her own in the relationship ending. It was all his fault. I know both parties play a part in a failed relationship.
  14. Don't I'm not the type to plaster love all over the place in the beginning. My last relationship was kind the opposite my ex thought I wasn't into it in the beginning. Which was a shock to me for sure. It takes me time to fall for someone. It was freaking me out when she said we're official after the second date and after 2 months she joked repeatedly about moving in together. In some ways I felt she was the insecure one and was searching very hard for someone to be in her life. Although she was a generally positive person she had some negtive thoughts about not being able to chase her passion as hard as she wanted. She also had battled depression. In the end she was able to find her connection and they moved in after 5 months. I only found this out because we sat down 6 months after out break up so I could have some closure. Again I know life is not fair, but this was definitely a moment of wait I was the mature and secure one. I ended up getting the short end of the stick followed by alor of rejections. Yes some of them I was way to in a negtive state to be dating, others I was very positive and enjoying life at that moment.
  15. Thank you for that advice ill keep those in mind. I still really hesitate to take a break. I did a long break in my 20s and I'll regret that for the rest of my life. I missed alot of time and opportunities in that break. In the end I felt it hurt me more then helped me.
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