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  1. Take everything she said in the day of the breakup with a grain of salt. These are highly emotional moments and generally the other person doesn't want to hurt you further. You'll probably never know exactly why. I even talked to my ex months later thinking we would have a clearer headspace and it just added to the confusion. Granted she finally admitted to falling for someone else. Yet I got different answers eveytime we talked.
  2. Believe me I know this, the same has been said to me.
  3. No I don't tell most of my friends these feelings. I generally try to stay positive and show a good face. Yes they know I struggle but I'm not a sour puss around them and let put all my frustration. I know everyone struggles in there own way and they have worked on it in there own way as well. I start to compare when I've tried to do the work and still don't see any gain from it. Yet others see a gain. No I'm not doing therapy and self work just to meet women and find a relationship. I want to have a more level outlook on life that has been my goal for a long time.
  4. Okay let me clarify I'm not looking for supermodels lowering my standards was a bad choice of words. What I mean by that is I'm looking for someone that that shares some of the same adventure and outdoor passions that I do. Do they have to do everything that I do of course not. Even in my last relationship we didn't share every passion which I was fine with. However she was not and she wanted someone that shared all of hers no matter what. So when I say I have to lower my standards I mean I have to look for people that are no where remotely close to what interests me. Then this turns into no spark for me and I liltery feel like I'm in it for just there body. So at this point dating becomes very underwhelming for me. Non of my past girlfriends have been drop dead gorgeous I found them cute but it was thier since of adventure and drive that got me. Then I'm dropped like a hot rock for the first over confident guy. I don't feel odded it, I just feel cheated that I can't even have a chance at it. Yes do feel I shouldn't be dating but it's one of the few things that actually makes me feel good in the moment. My hobbies don't do this for me anymore.
  5. Thank you, it's hard to do just guy things. Alot of my good friends are also women. The guys can't help but bring up there SO and we are all close friends. I will try this idea. I'm still just struggling on why I can't have a normal life like everyone else. Alot of these people have not spent hours and hours I n therapy..... they have just been able to go from relationship to relationship.
  6. Yea I do want advice. Again though anytime I show any kind of push back or say yes I've actually tried some of the advice. I get pounced on saying I'm refusing advice. I know I have had a very stren response to going back to therapy. I'm still very unsure of its usefulness for me and how well I'll react to it. The last time I did it it litlery almost drove me to the edge in a bad way. Not in a good lets fix it way. I also know that there are better therapist out there however I'm still leary of that. But I feel that is the only thing I'm being told to do. Again I feel like I'm in a horrible sport where if I don't do anything I will continue to feel horrible but if do do something it will be alot of of hard work that will make me horrible for a long time just to so I can accept me ***y situation in life. I'm failing to see the motivation for that. Again i appreciate all the time and effort everyone has given me. Believe it or not it's helped alot to just talk to you all about this and to get your advice. I know I'm being very stubborn but it's not out of seeking attention. I feel the therapy advice can be thrown around very easily like a fix all.
  7. Idk maybe I'm just looking for a ear. I'm not sure why I'm asking. Your right it wasn't there fault I lost the relationship, I did and I will never forgive myself for loosing that relationship. It's something that will stay with me for the rest of my life because I was to scard.
  8. It doesn't matter I'll never be in the right head space and by the time if I ever do ill be a little be older and fatter and have less teeth. I feel I'm the only one that can actually have a realistic view on the shoes I live in. I'm spiraling bad i know. No amount of work on myself will fix my situation. No work will get me to a place where I feel happy about being a relationship with someone else. They all just feel like second best at this point. I will never find someone like her. Again I'm just bitter. I'm bitter at life and my parents. And all I'm told now is well it's in the past so just work on it. Great because of them I lost one best relationships I had, because of them I was brought up to be anti social and basically be border line retarded. Thanks guys. I can go date some other pathetic loser. Hey don't worry thier drug use and video game use got put before thier kids needs thanks! I wish I had never got involved with my ex. It was just a horrible joke.
  9. I'm sorry I just don't agree with that he is an outlier. The majority of unattractive people do not have this same luck. There are tones of people that are not in the right headspace that have lasting relationships. Anyway no matter what I say at this point it will just be taken as me arguing with everyone. I give up. P.s. sorry for the multiple duplicate posts.
  10. I'm sorry I just don't agree with that he is an outlier. The majority of unattractive people do not have this same luck. There are tones of people that are not in the right headspace that have lasting relationships. Anyway no matter what I say at this point it will just be taken as me arguing with everyone. I give up.
  11. I can't even call it dating at this point, that would imply geting second dates. Which hasn't happened in a year and half and not because I turned them down. Every single one has said no to another date. You know what that does to someone. It just kills you from the inside out. This is why I see no point in geting help, this aspect won't change in my life. I was put on wellbutrin, it does cause weight gain. When it was prescribed to me it made me feel like the lowest point in my life a doctor came in talked to me for five minutes asked if I was suicide wornt me script and walked put. Liltery 5 minutes to decide and talk about my past and no care for my future. You know what really actually helped me was finding someone. To see that there was hope that for once in my life I wasn't being used and that someone else could actually be interested in me as I was interested in them. That's what helped. That's what helped bring to an actual level headed spot.
  12. You're right I don't, but I would bit a good majority don't ....
  13. I'm not saying I am right, what I'm saying alot of over generalization is being said. Therapy will help, everyone has worked on themselves, etc... thier are lots of people that haven't worked on them selves and have long lasting relationships. In just this past week I've been rejected two more times. With both the same response "hey you're really cool I had alot of fun and I want to stay friends with you however I have a run into an old flame I'm going to try instead....."
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