Hello, 👋
I’m married with 3 kids and I found out this past July that my wife has been having an affair with her boss for at least two months. We’ve been together for over 10 years and married for 5 years. When I found out my initial reaction was to forgive her and fix our marriage with Marriage counseling. Unfortunately it wasn’t that easy and I continued to dwell on her actions. She quit her job and we started marriage counseling. Two weeks into counseling I caught her still talking to the guy which caused more damage and created more trust issues. My wife told me she would cut all ties with him and begged me to forgive her again. A few times she didn’t even come home and told me she slept in her car because she was sad. Obviously this was more lies.
I agreed and tried to forgive her again but after it happened a second time I continued to dwell and felt like I couldn’t trust her anymore. I would Check her phone (never did that prior to cheating), worry when she would leave the house. It just felt really unhealthy for us and the kids so I decided to move out. I’ve been moved out for over two month now and still stay in contact with my wife for our kids. She now hangs out with her old boss and posts pictures with him on social media. She tells me they are just friends and begs me to come home. She calls me crying almost every night and tells me that she knows she made a huge mistake and hates herself for cheating. She also promises me she will end all communication with him if I come back. I do miss her and our life but it kills me that she even still communicates with the man that helped ruin our family. I believe she is keeping him around as a safety net because she can’t pay her bills now that I left. I thought I knew this person but still to this day I’m discovering more lies. 😞 I recently discovered that my mother in law helped cover up her cheating while we were together.
Do you think my marriage is still salvageable? How do you rebuild trust when so much damage has been done? 😞
