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  1. Hello, so this girl and I have known each other for 10 years and we’ve been friends with benefits for the past 3 years (on and off). Recently we were in a good part of our “friends with benefitship?” I guess you’d call it, and she brought up to me for the first time how she would eventually want to be exclusive with me, I agreed that I would want to be exclusive as well. Two days after that talk, she invited me to an event with her family, it went very well and she was very affectionate towards me, even in front of her family and I was affectionate back. The night after that, she called me and asked how my day was and that was it, typically she’d stay on the phone for a while at night, roughly an hour at least. We got off the phone after 2-3 minutes, it was 9pm and usually we go to bed around 1am, so I got insecure about that, (why did she hang up so early? Is she talking to another guy? Etc) and so I called her back asking if we were exclusively hooking up (I know, I ***ed up there) and she basically said no and said we should be honest and get tested before we hook up. I then asked asked her “so what was all that exclusivity talk about then?” And she paused and answered with “well I’ve been thinking about it”.. I got butthurt and emotional about it and made an ass out of myself. I thought she wanted exclusivity, I mean, if she did, she changed her mind in 2 days. I then said out of emotional weakness that we should take a break and not talk to see how we feel later on, I know, dumb, I asked her what she thought about that, she had a long pause and said “can I have time to think about it?” I said yes of course and she ended the call with “thanks, I appreciate it…” I texted her after that call saying I don’t want confusion and don’t want to waste my time or hers.. the next day, I realized the stupid *** I said, I didn’t know what I was thinking, so I called her twice 5 hours apart and no answer or call back, I just wanted to apologize about the night before. After the whole day passed, still nothing, I got weak again and text her in the late evening saying “I guess we aren’t going to talk anymore. sorry for how things turned out, take care of yourself.” And I still haven’t heard from her, it’s been 3 days. I know what I did was ***ing stupid and I was just being emotional. She still has me on social media, if that means anything? She still watches my posts. I really like her but not sure what I should do, should I block her on everything? Did I completely *** this up?
  2. So, I've been friends with this girl for 8 years, strictly that, and within those 8 years, we were dating other people, and that never bothered our friendship or affected it in anyway. But in late 2020, I noticed that she started to show more interest and sexual tension towards me for the first time in the 8 years in friendship. I went along with it and we ended up going on dates and eventually, we hooked up for the first time, after that she was really submissive, always calling me, texting me, etc. We liked each other, but we agreed that we shouldn't date exclusively and take things slow, but around April 2021, she was becoming distant and I backed off, didn't talk to her for almost 2 months because I didn't want to over pursue/chase. I would seek advice about it to friends, some who knew her, and the ones who knew her said that they felt she's always liked me (within the 8 years of friendship) but to be honest, I never noticed.. So She calls me for the first time in a while only to tell me she was moving to a city 6 hours away from me. And so she moved. So after her being in her new city for a few months, her and I were dating someone else (helped me with her leaving), then things went south with the person I was hooking up with and then my friend that moved tells me she broke up with her new bf after dating 2 months. And the cycle started again, by that I mean her pursuing me, texting me, calling, etc but of course a lot of this was done over facetime since she lived pretty far. So now to the current events, she visited the city where I live, which she also moved from, And we planned to hangout. So we met up one night and we hooked up, stayed the night and hooked up again in the morning, we then spent that whole day together. It was her idea to do so. So while hanging all day long it was as if we were dating, cuddling, kissing, going out, etc but one thing that threw me off was that she always texting a guy and it wasn't her ex she recently broke up with, it was someone else, but I didn't do or say anything about because 1. its non of my business 2. she's not my girlfriend, so i kinda kept shaking it off all day, she then suggested ending the night by going to an expensive bar and she'd pay for everything.(yes I tried to offer to pay but she wouldn't budge) So we got to the bar and the vibe was strange, it was like she was forced to be there even though she suggested it, it was weird.. And as we drank, I kept seeing her texting the same dude from through out the day, and when I drink, it's harder for me to hold in my emotions/feelings, so I started being quiet and she noticed that and i kept telling her I was fine to avoid any problems, she then randomly asked me, "do you think it's okay to get back with an ex?" At that point, I felt shes been texting some other ex all day, and that's who the guy was. I got even more quiet, upset, jealous and being intoxicated didn't help, so as I'm sitting there quietly she continues to text the guy and she finally finishes her drink and she pays the bill, and while she's doing that, I just left to my car without her, stupid, I know, I wouldn't have done that if I were sober. She gets to car and tells me how she didn't appreciate me leaving her like that and asked me why I'm upset, and being kinda drunk, i kinda snapped and told her that I didn't appreciate her texting on her phone all day while shes with me and that I took that as disrespect. I couldn't bring myself to tell her that I was jealous of who shes been texting all day because, again, she's single, she can do whatever she wants and i felt it would be dumb to do so assuming shes interested in the guy. I would feel she knows I like her at this point. So she then says shes sorry and that she'll take a mental note to put her phone on do not disturb or airplane mode next time we hangout again. After that, its silence for about 5 minutes and I kid you not, she calls the guy shes been texting all day and she told him "I'm just calling to see how you're doing" and told him she'll text him when she gets home to her parents house. I was thinking 1. you've been texting him all day and 2. of all times, you call him now?? (why would she do that) I drop her off at parents and we just gave each other a hug and said bye. Next morning, texted her saying sorry about the night before and she didn't reply until the next day saying "I appreciate you apologizing. I'm just glad we got to spend time together." I told her to have a great day and no response after that. So how should I handle the situation? Just back off completely right? I was also thinking if she wanted to talk to this guy all day, why spend the whole day with me and not go see him instead?? Is she using me?? If she ever calls me again, how should I carry the conversation, I know not to bring up that night at the bar.
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