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Kate-305

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  1. My(20f) Bf(20m) and I have been together a year and a half. It has been up and down but we do love each other a lot and genuinely have a great time in each others company. However, I'd be lying if I didn't say there were red flags. Most recently last night something came up that is making me question myself. My Bf has been on a vacation abroad for the past month and returns tomorrow. Since the beginning of December we've been planning on taking a romantic getaway to reconnect/ celebrate our anniversary. Our getaway will be the 27th-29th so really nothing huge. I footed the bill for our Airbnb and did most of the planning as he's out of the country. Before we booked our place I told him to make sure his mom was alright with him going. She said it was fine to him and even mentioned to me that it was fine. Last night while on the phone my Bf informs me that his mom and little brother are now going to come along. He says they will be staying with his relatives that live in the same city we're going to and we are just going to drop them off the first day then when we come home all ride home together. He said his mom asked and he agreed. Consulted with me about none of it. Now if I say anything I am seen as a selfish girl trying to distract him and take him away from his family. I am sick of being cast in this light. I try hard to build a bond with his family and mother particularly but I feel like this is sort of a slap in the face. I'm upset at his mother for asking. She knew this was a vacation just us yet she still asked. If we just dropped them off it wouldn't be a huge deal but I was looking forward to the drive there with him. Also I have a suspicion that what will actually end up happening is his mom calling him constantly and asking for us to all go do something or for a ride somewhere in the city. I hate being put in this position where I have to say no about his family but this was supposed to be for US. This issue has brought a bigger problem to my attention. My Bf's dynamic with his family is extremely different than mine. I am the youngest, he's the oldest. His mom is super involved with him, my parents are more hands off. His family takes vacations, my parents travel by themselves. I feel like I have a lot more independence than he does because his mom coddles him. He makes comments about how cold my family is and really makes me feel sad about it. I have always been insecure about how distant my family is but that's just how things have always been for me. I wished my family was more "fun" and did things like his but my family is small and we're all grown children now.
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