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Found 3 results

  1. To cut a long story short I was in a serious relationship for 4 years - bought a house together and seriously talking marriage. He broke up with me citing incompatibility with what we want in life at the moment from understanding what he wants now this feels like a quarter life crisis where he's questioning himself and what he wants and making big life choices (selling our house, quitting his job, not wanting to commit to anyone and travelling for the foreseeable future). I now see he was right as I have a job and studying that I can't leave and at the moment I don't want a relationship, I want to work on myself and become the person that I want to be by pushing myself. Now he hasn't left for travelling yet so we are still tied by the house, and I've tried to set up boundaries to ensure that there's as little of this talk as possible as this is a sore spot for both of us. However, we still talk to each other at least once a week and im struggling because we still 'click' and can talk about nothing for hours. We always finish the conversation and i feel like there's so much more to say. I've asked him why he reaches out and he says its because he cares, i mean a lot to him, I'll always be close to his heart and that we are significant to each other. Now to me that sounds like someone with conflicting ties - one to freedom and adventure, and the other to love that they feel for someone. Thoughts? I've done a lot of introspection and know that where we were in a relationship last time was not at all what I wanted there was too much pressure on us and we're both in our 20s. I also know that I don't want a relationship either right now because I know I still love him and want to put myself first in my growth for now. I've asked him where he is at emotionally and he says he wants to focus on rebuilding our friendship and that he doesn't want any pressure for there to be anything romantic but that we have feelings for each other that are more than friends. My question is should I continue to keep in contact with him (he says he wants to talk on the phone once a week and text) because I'm really liking the person he's becoming and we both want and enjoy talking to each other? As a side note - We've agreed to keep checking where we both are and what we want emotionally in the future, so if we are misaligned we can pick up on it asap. Or should I cut all contact for the foreseeable for fear of being led on? Whilst cutting contact will hurt me and be very hard, I am scared that contact will keep us stuck in this position we've found ourselves in for good. And with his current life uncertainty there's no guarantee of anything in the future (but I guess that's life) - whether he'll come back it want a relationship in the future.
  2. i was going through a rough time yesterday and i needed someone to talk to and i tried to talk to my bf about whats going on. he was very distant during this conversation. i asked him if he cared at all and he said he does care. i asked him if he cares then why doesnt he ever ask if im okay or whats going on with my home life. he said he does want to know, but he doesnt ask because hes afraid its not going well. i said "so youd rather just not know if im ok or not?" and he said again that he does want to know but he doesnt ask because hes 'worried'. i said he just doesnt like hearing about it, and he agreed and his excuse was "yeah im kind of an empath". this really upset me and i told him he doesnt need to worry anymore because im never gonna talk to him about my life anymore anyway. i just think if he really loved me and cared about me he would try to make sure im okay? idk. am i wrong here? am i expecting too much from him??
  3. I know that I should be communicating with my partner.. but after having lost both parent at young age and not having to spend enough time with them. I hate not being with my significant other. And I’m scared that I’m suffocating him but he acts like it’s not a big deal, or could it just be me over thinking it ?
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