bridey

How funny! It never even occurred to me that he was trying to last long! I just assumed he wasn't cumming for some reason or another. I was actually worried that maybe I wasn't stimulating him enough somehow! He really seems to enjoy himself and has gone so far as to say that he really enjoys our sex. He likes to do it in lots of different positions and I am able and willing to do any and all he likes! A friend of mine encouraged me to talk dirty and verbally encourage him to cum when I am ready. I am going to try that. I don't want to hurt his feelings but I don't want to be hurt either!

If you use a regular razor do not go against the growth. This will cause less irritation. You may want to use lotion afterwards or even a mild aftershave. The more you do it the less the irritation is. If it is really long, you might want to trim it up with scissors as well.

He is doing all the right things and I do have orgasms during regular sex (usually when I am on top and can control it), but I am not emotianally open enough with him at this point. That usually takes awhile. I just want to make him come quicker and give myself a rest! Maybe we need more foreplay. I used to be afraid to give him head too long because I thought he would come too quick! LOL I guess I have been wrong. I will try to find out more what he likes too. I do know he likes to look at me, so I guess I will try to show him more. I know he likes to do it in positions that he can watch himself go in and out and slowly, and that doesn't really do it for me as much. I like to be on top creating friction and fast! Maybe we are incompatible?

If she has not had one on her own, masterbation is key. She should lay under the bathtub faucet and let the hard water stimulate her clitoris! Otherwise a vibrator works well too, but she might be too embarrased to buy one at this point. Also, it takes time. I am a pro all alone, but I have a hard time with a new lover. I need to be very emotionally comfortable and feel a lot of trust for him before I can let go. I feel very vulnerable during an orgasm and it is not easy to share with another.

My lover goes on and on and on..... I havn't had an orgasm yet with him either, but I have come close. I think I just need more time to be emotionally comfortable with him first. Problem is, as enjoyable as sex is, it gets sore after too much time. Lube seems to help, but mostly I just want him to come quicker! How can I make this happen? I mean I know how, but why does he take so long. We don't use condoms so it is not that. Please help, my place of pleasure can't take it!

Have you ever hung out with her outside of work? Maybe get a group of people together and invite her along. It won't have as much pressure as a date, but could give you a better idea of how you feel about her.

Thanks everyone for your replies. I had a great conversation with this man about what was going on and how I was feeling. Basically, he is not ready to rush into another relationship. He would like to date me but he felt I was looking for an all or nothing situation. I can appreciate that he is not ready to rush into anything to quick, being out of a 7 year relationship for only 8 months. Anyway, since our chat, we have talked more on the phone and when I left him a message instead of days to call me back it was merely a few hours. Plus I saw him over the weekend. I think I was just rushing things and overanalyzing and making myself crazy! I told him I thought it was healthy to want to take things slow and deal with healing from his last relationship before getting into another. It will be hard for me, but I will go as slow as he wants and see where it goes! Still interested in other peoples opinions though...

Based on what he has said, he does not sound like he is ready to commit, and as the prior post says, he may even be seeing other people. Just because he isn't ready now, though, doesn't mean he never will be. What you need to do is take care of yourself and your own needs (such as college), This ultimatly makes you more attractive, plus gives you the confidence to continue to be happy no matter what happens. If you are satisfied with what you have than keep going slowly, but don't let this be your only motivation for the future. YOu have to live for and respect yourself first, or really you have nothing to offer to anyone else.

You need to do some research on the disease. There are different strains of it that can cause different complications. I recently have read more about it cause a friend of mine got irregular pap results and has to have further testing. At this point it is either cervical cancer or hopefully HPV. I read that 1 in 4 women have it and most people have been exposed to it and that it either was a mild strain that went away on its own or is in remission! What I read also said it rarely effects men as there are rarely physical traits and males can't be tested, that basically it effects the cervix, although, obviously men can spread it! I would check out WebMD and find out more. Possibly you could go with her to her Dr. who treats her for it and get more information directly related to her case. It is good that you are being responsible for your own health as well as the mental well being of your lady. Take care and I wish you the best in figuring this all out!

I get what you are saying about the next step. Perhaps the next step for him though, isn't living with someone. I would hope that his love and trust continue to grow for you. I know plenty of married couples and while many have lived together, for others that was never an option. They chose not to live with their partner until they were married. They spent that night at each others places, but living together wasn't going to happen, by choice, until they were married. I think a lot of people have a hard time with that. I used to, but I understand it now. I know I will always keep my own space until my partner is ready to make the full commitment of marriage. Simple as that. Maybe he feels the same way and that is why the prospect of it is so scary. As you said you are not sure you are ready for marriage either, and maybe living together for him, means you will eventually get married. If that is his thinking , that is a lot to bite off and chew! Plus, as far as time, you can't put a limit on these things. I know a married couple who saw each other for over 10 years before they got married. They have a wonderful marriage, but if you followed some peoples rules and time lines they would have split up! As I said, best you can do is continue to communicate with your mate, but don't push, cause you will push him away.

OK. So you are too scared to talk to him. There must be a way for you to get closer and still look cool. Does he ever talk to people you know? Maybe while you are at a party talk to someone you know who is talking to him and you guys will be part of the same conversation. Or maybe bring something to the next party to hand out, so you don't look like you are picking him out. I went to a halloween party and gave lolli pops out. Met lots of people, plus it was cool to see everyone there had one! It is valentine's day, get those goofy little cards you give out in elementary school and bring enough to hand out to everyone, or hand out those boxes of those candy hearts that have messages on them. If you sign your name on them, he will even know your name, if he doesn't already, or just by a bag of those candy hearts and give people a few handfuls including him, ofcourse! Maybe he will say thank you! It seems like a little but it is an icebreaker that could possibly lead to more conversation in the future!

Three years is a long time, but what are the other circumstances in his life that would make him not want to live with you. I lived with someone for 5 years. He wouldn't commit so I will probably never live with someone again unless they are ready for marriage. Lots of people feel that way, so maybe he love you and wants to be with you, but is not ready for marriage. I don't know that you can put a time line on when a person is ready to make a lifetime commitment. These are questions you would have to ask him, and I would hope after so many years together you guys would have the communication skills to discuss it. Find out why. It might have nothing to do with you or your relationship, and if it does than it is something you guys can either work out or make you relize it really isn't going anywhere.

I am sure he can't make up his mind. This relationship he just got out of did not sound very healthy. When I was at his house it was extremely bare, because she came and took everything, including his stereo which was not something they got together. She even took the washer and dryer! I am not defending his actions, I just thought maybe he needs to move slower then what I wanted. You are right about having sex too soon, as well, but I don't necessarily feel that is a deal breaker. As far as him having a child, it seems everyone but me in their 30's has one, or an ex-wife! Originally, I was not going to date people with children, but I don't see why it is a big deal. I feel like he made a mistake in that area (birth control anyone?), but no one is perfect (and no bc is 100% effective!). I am going to continue to try and see him, as long as I think he might be interested. Its just that at this point I can't tell if he is or if he just makes some contact because he feels bad for sleeping with me. We do have mutual friends, so he probably feels like he can't be a complete jerk with out any repercussions!

I a mso sorry I know it hurts now, but it will get better. You just have to remember that. First thing you must do is surround yourself with your friends and family members who love you and will support you through this. Let people know you are hurting and that you need them to keep you busy. Get involved in things that will take up your time. When I lost my relationship of 7 years about 8 months ago, I joined a softball team. Every Sunday I knew I had somewhere to go. I have made some great friends from there and even though I was still in pain, I had people to go do things with. My friends would let me just come over to hang out and would talk to me on the phone when I thought I might call him. Don't call him. Everytime you talk it gives you hope. If he wants to talk he will make that move.

Whenever a guy is not paying the attention or respect to a woman that she deserves, it is very easy to label him a user. In most cases I think men are just confused and not sure what they want. In your case, it sounds like this guy is immature. I feel like if he were using you soley for sex, he wouldn't spend time with you doing anything else. He would come over for sex and leave. You probably would not know his friends either. It does concern me though, the way he treats you in front of his friends. You said he flirts with other girls in front of them, but does he put you down or try to make you look bad in front of them? If so you might be with an abusive type person (not necesarily physically, but mentally). It is difficult in the early stages to try and establish where you stand, it has only been a short time still, maybe it is not in his mind to see you exclusivly yet, but he should be able to keep his thoughts and attention with you when you are together, and not just when you are talking to another guy. You shouldn't have to tell him this in my opinion, but maybe you should. Maybe find out if he wants to just see you or other people too. I realize you are having sex, but as I said above 6 weeks is still fresh. Good luck.

It is hard to say. I guess it would depend on how long you have been seeing him. If it is pretty new, he just may have been burned in his last relationship and being careful. You say it is progressing, just slowly. Some people are just at a different pace. If there wasn't progress I might feel differently.

It is hard to let go of what you are used to and what you know. By what you have written I think you already know that your relationship may not be what you really want. You have been with this person a long time and obviously care about one another, but that isn't enough to stay with someone. You are not getting your needs met, which is probably why you tried to have them met with your affairs. Maybe it is time for anohter break, and perhaps one that is permanent. Think about what you really need from a partner and then think about if this man is capable (or willing) to meet them. Good luck. I know it is hard.

I met this guy in August. He was on my softball team. We were clearly attracted to one another from the beginning, however, I found out his ex-girlfriend found out she was pregnant and so he got back together with her (reluctanly, from what I know). I saw him the end of October and he was very flirty and I told him he better figure out what he was doing with this woman and that I was not getting in the middle of anything. So I saw him for the first time since then about three weeks ago. He said things were over with this woman (although he is takig care of his new baby, she has custody). We wound up having sex that night (after I made it clear to him that I really liked him and if he just wanted to have sex I would be really hurt) and we went for breakfast with another friend the next afternoon. He called me later that night and we talked for an hour. We talked again 2 days later and I went over his house and spent the night (at his request, I was going to take off that night). Anway, he was supposed to come over my place on Thursday but broke his plans and was going to come over on Friday. Friday he called me and said his our friend was there and would I mind going there instead. I did. Called him Sunday and Monday, but didn't hear from him til Wedneday. I didn't answer and called and left him a message Friday. He called me Sunday and we made plans for Thursday. He called me two times during the day, and basically had to go to a hockey game with some venders from work! He was all worried that I would be mad and I said I wasn't that I was disappointed. He said he was too because he was looking forward to our date but he really had to go. He was very apologetic and said he knew his story sounded lame! So I just want to know, is it just that we have had a bad time getting our schedules in sync or is he trying to make me angry so he doesn't have to feel guilty about sleeping with me? We both have plans for the weekend so he told me to call him (if I don't hate him) so we could get together next week! Am I being stupid? Could this guy possibly be interested?