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shellie12345

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  1. shellie12345
    you are right. I did not tell him everything I wanted to tell him. However, I told him that I liked him (he knew this already though, for a long time), but that I wanted to make sure neither of us felt overly pressured. He agreed. Which I was cool with. However, he continued to talk to me almost daily up until the whole 1st incident happened. He would flirt etc....nothing serious, but he definitely led me to believe there was interest. I planned on telling him exactly how I felt when we were in person at the cottage but due to what took place that never happened. I do blame myself for not telling him everything I wanted to. However, I don't think that it justifies how he acted not even 2 weeks after we slept together. It was just mean.
  2. shellie12345
    hello everyone, thanks so much for the replies... so here is an update for you all.... He ended up calling me to tell me that he felt like a jerk for what he did. He offered no explaination or concrete apology, he just kept saying over and over that he felt like a jerk. Anyway, the same night that he called we all went out to a bar and believe it or not, he did it again! He was making out with some random girl right infront of me, again! On the same day he called!!!!!!!!! Why did he bother calling? Did he do it just because he felt like he had to? This is so stupid and confusing! If he calls again i think i am just going to tell him that I would like to forget that any of this ever happened and to just drop it already. Do you think that is a good idea??? Can you believe this guy!!!??
  3. shellie12345
    I was asked what it is that I want. To be honest I wanted him. I thought he was great. We could have a great time together, we got a long really well and he was always the sweet soft guy (everyone thought that not just me). My friends who know the situation are just as blown away as I am. This guy seems like the last guy you would do something like that. I want to meet a great guy and not have to deal with this BS anymore....i am so tired of it all.
  4. shellie12345
    i don't get it. If he was just using me to have some fun with then why would he choose to do that to a good friend? We see eachother all the time, we hang out with the same people. It seems so horrible for him to do something like that to a friend. I have no idea what his feelings are, I am so confused.
  5. shellie12345
    i had a post up about what happened between me and one of my friends. here is a bit of background... I have liked him for a while and for the longest time was hesitant to do anything. One night I decided to make a move and he responded to it. We ended up sleeping together and then I was left very confused (he may have been too). Anyway, he called a few days after to talk about it, but nothing concrete was decided on. In fact, after the talk I still had no idea where I stood. So this is what happened most recently and I am left dumbfounded! Me and all my friends went up to a cottage for a few days (he was there too). The night he came we all decided to go out to a bar for a couple hours. He was avoiding me somewhat, things were not normal thats for sure. He usually flirts with me etc.... It was clear that he did not want to do anything with me, not even talk really, because he was too busy scoping out other girls at the bar and actually ended up picking one up and going home with her. All in front of me. He knows that I like him, he slept with me, and I am left utterly speachless. I know it was a mistake to move that fast with him, but I honestly did not think he had it in him to use me like that. What do you guys think? Was I used? Or is he just confused about where we both stand and decided to go about playing the field? Be honest here, because I have no idea why he would do such a mean thing.
  6. shellie12345
    Well looks like I knocked his socks off, and the rest of his clothes for that matter I had a post up about this guy I like, he is a friend and I wanted to let him know that I liked him once and for all. We always flirted etc...but he is a hard guy to read so i never knew. Anyway, the night I was supposed to see him (at a party) we ended up sleeping together! I don't know if it was the best thing to do, but it happened and I can't change that now! We talked the other night about what happened. We were both really vague with one another, I am not sure either of us really knew what to say. It happened so fast, so out of no where, neither of us were prepared! Now I am left wondering if anything will come out of this. We get along great, but when we talked nothing concrete was said. We will be seeing eachother next week at another gathering but other than that we are both too busy. I wanted to ask him flat out if he was interested in dating me, but the words would not come out of my mouth. It was like I said everything I did not want to say......I was so nervous/confused! He said we will talk soon but I don't know if he was just saying that to be nice. I seriously don't know if this was just a one night thing. It was like he wanted to say more to me but the words would not come out of him either. Now I am left just as confused. What should I do? Should I wait a couple days and call him just to say hello? I thought that would be a good idea but if he is not interested then i might just end up creeping him out. What is a girl to do???
  7. shellie12345
    i am not that forward of a person so I don't know if I could just flat out say that! Does anyone have any tips?? Or am I alone on this one??
  8. shellie12345
    ok, so i have already asked for flirting tips and got some help there. This one is a bit more specific... I have a thing for one of my guy friends. His best friend told me that he too is interested (seems immature, but just kinda happened that way). Anyway, his friend told me that he is scared to make the first move, since we are friends and he would be crossing that barrier. The thing is, I am just as scared to make the first move but I know that I need to do it to put his mind at ease. I think I confuse him because to be honest, sometimes I just don't know how to act around him. We will both be at a party that is fastly approaching and I think that will be my chance to let him know that I am welcome to "exploring the out of friendship boundaries", haha! So, for the guys, what can I do that would be incredibly sexy to let him know that I like him? I am not talking the typical flirting tactics....this has to be mind blowing! Is there something I can say to him to knock his socks off?? Girls what would you do if you were me?? Have any of you been in this situation? if so, what did you do?
  9. shellie12345
    I don't know how to make you all understand cause i know it seems crazy and ridiculous that I don't talk to her about it....but i literally can't do it. I mean, she is easy to talk to about anything else. But when it comes to this, its like she knows that i am upset and she already has her guard up. Its like she has created a wall that I can't break down. I am scared to severely damage our friendship and I don't want to do that over a guy especially. But the thing is, he is not just a guy to me. He is very special to me and i can't help feeling the way that I do. its something that i hope time will heal....
  10. shellie12345
    That is easier said than done.....to be honest, I don't think I would have it in me. The thought of it makes me feel betrayed.
  11. shellie12345
    I just want to start off by saying that I am so sorry you are feeling this way. I have been there and I know how painful it can be. In my opinion what needs to happen unfortunately will be slow and painful. There is no way that you can simply cut off contact and be fine overnight. I think that for a while you will not be able to cut off contact, you said it yourself, he was your life, your bestfriend. You will go through stages where you feel like you are fine without him, and you will go through stages when you will feel the opposite. This is good though, with every step forward you take 2 steps back, but at least you will be progressing. Try not to call or contact him as much as you can. But I know how it is, sometimes you just have to. Just know that there will be a time when you won't HAVE to do that. If you slowly get yourself back on track, in time you will be ok. This will take time, you must be patient and never lose hope or faith in yourself. Keep your dignity and if you feel that being around him hurts you too much, remove yourself. You will have to try a few ways thats for sure, but eventually you will know exactly what you need to do in order to move on. It is kind of a trial and error process. When I was trying to get over my ex, i spent a year or so trying my hardest to stay friends with him. However, my feelings were still there so I kept on getting hurt over and over. Eventually I had enough of the hurt and I needed to free myself from it. I took a trip, did things on my own and took control of my life. I contacted him only when I wanted to, and it was very little for a while. It was what I needed to do. Eventually I gained enough strength and independance apart from him that I was able to come back and be his friend again, minus the feelings. Once you know you can hang around him and not wish you were "with" him, then you can truly be just his friend and be happy with that. Unfortunatley you may not get to that place for a while. It may take you a year or even more, but take your time, do it at your own pace and be true to yourself. You will get there in time, I promise.
  12. shellie12345
    No I don't want my ex back....not at this point in my life. But there are still some feelings that exist that I am not sure will ever go away. I love him and I always will, it is a changed love but he is very precious to me. I understand that if he and my friend wanted to be together i would have to learn to accept that. However, it would hurt and I don't know if i ever could have the same friendship with either of them. This is why i am so scared. I have a soft spot for my ex and it would break my heart.
  13. shellie12345
    thanks for the reply.....see the thing is, i can't just tell my friend to eff off. She lives with me, she does everything with me. This is the only problem that I have with her and I really am desperate to find a solution. I feel like if he wanted to fool around with her she would do it behind my back....i don't trust it, i feel so uneasy. I have dreams about it happening and I wake up flustered cause it seems so real....i have played it out in my mind to try and become immune cause I am so scared that something like that will happen one day. Also, I have a feeling something may have already happened that they are keeping from me. I have put my trust in what my ex has told me however....so that is all i have, my trust in him and what he has told me.
  14. shellie12345
    hey everyone....this is a tough one for me, I really don't know what to do. Sorry if it is long but you need some background. I dated a guy for almost 4 years. After the break-up things were bad for quite some time. We fought a lot and I basically had to cut him out of my life for about a year or so in order to heal. However, in that time, my best friend lisa started to hang out with my ex...a lot. She did it a lot without me even knowing, and she never once talked to me about it. They were friends before and while I was dating him so it seemed fine. It bugged me a little, but when they started getting closer and closer it really began to upset me. She was very insensitive to me and so was he. I never wanted to seem like the jealous ex, so I kept quiet. Also, she is very hard to approach with this sort of thing. I already know what she would do, she would get defensive and make me look like i was the crazy one. Now here is the thing. Since a year or so has passed me and my ex have worked on our friendship. We are really good friends again and are able to hang out which is amazing. However, whenever i am around him and lisa is there i feel like she is trying to compete with me or something. Like for example, if I ask him, oh what were you up to today?? she will jump in and be like...oh you had an exam how was it?? you know, like she knows everything that is going on in his life and I will never be as close....that sort of vibe that girls give off a lot when they are competing for someone (guy or girl). I hope that makes sense. Anyway, recently people have been coming up to me asking if lisa has a thing for him. apparently she always talks about him, brings him up whenever she can etc....when i look at them together and try to figure it out on my own i notice things....she is touchy and flirty with him, always agrees with what he is saying, just generally is out to impress him. This really bothers me. Now Lisa has a boyfriend of many years so it would seem crazy for me to ask her about this. Also, like I said before, she is very defensive and I have no idea how i would go about asking her. I have talked to my ex about it and he tells me I have nothing to worry about and to trust him. The thing is, I am starting to feel as if it is Lisa that I cannot trust. Maybe my ex just likes the attention...or is oblivious to it all. But it is obvious to me and i can't stand it. What can I do about this? Should I just trust my ex and let it be? I don't want to kick up a fuss if nothing will/or has ever happened. Please help, this is really getting to me.....
  15. shellie12345
    Ok......lets just be as blunt as possible here! What are some of the best flirting strategies that you as guys have ever seen or love to see? Or as girls, what are some that you swear by? I am not exactly "gifted" in the flirting department, I am learning but it seems to be a slow process! I have been told I am an attractive girl but I am hard to approach.....no idea why really?? I love to laugh, I am always smiling and am very outgoing, why is it hard to approach a girl who is good-looking and self-assured? I thought that was something guys like about girls. Anyway, lets discuss the things that a woman can do in a situation like this......I am eager to learn and talk about it, lets hear what you all have to say!
  16. shellie12345
    yeah i get what you are all saying. It was like when I was going on the date with him, I knew in the back of my mind that I did not have a good feeling about him. But I went for it anyway, i gave him the benefit of the doubt. I did not end up on top though....that always makes you more frustrated I guess.
  17. shellie12345
    I forgot to add in my original post, but you are right, he was dating another girl. He made it seem very casual though and he never brought it up. What I don't get is, if he is seeing someone else why is he willing to take out other girls and fool around with them? The relationship he has with this girl is obviously more serious then he led me to believe, was he waiting to see if I was better, then when I was not, he went back to her? This is so childish and I can't stand it. Its been like a week now since that whole incident occurred, he sent me a friendly message the other day but I barely spoke to him, I just feel so frustrated.....I feel like a fool pretty much.
  18. shellie12345
    Hi everyone, This problem I have will seem pretty typical to you all I suppose...however, I still don't get how guys work! Ok, I met a guy one night at a bar, he called the next day to see if I wanted to go out for a couple drinks, so i did. The date went well, typical nervousness but all in all, I had a good time. We were supposed to go out dancing but all the bars seemed dead, so we rented a movie and came back to my place to watch it.......my first mistake i guess. We were holding hands and kissing on the walk home, so I thought everything was going well. At my place we fooled around quite a bit and he stayed really late but went home cause he had to get up early. We talked a couple times after and I saw him at a bar a night or two later. Things were great then too, he spent the whole night with me, we danced etc.... had a great time. Then all of a sudden I got nothing for like a week. I saw him again the next week at the same bar, he was doing the same things he was with me that night, only this time he was with another girl. He practically ignored me and was all over someone else. Now, I know we only went on one date and I was not expecting him to be committed to me, but why was he so willing to flat out insult me and end it all before it even began, when i thought he was into me? I was floored! So guys, can you tell me what I did wrong here? I feel like the fooling around part may have been a factor but when I saw him after it was still great....I am so confused! Why do guys pull this sort of thing?
  19. shellie12345
    See the thing is, I do tend to keep myself busy. I always have school work to do etc...so i never really have time to get out and meet new people. It sucks because I am growing tired of seing the same old faces at bars and parties and even just in general! The school I go to is rather small so you see alot of the same people. I guess thats where my frustrations stem from. I see my friends and other people not having this problem at all and I just don't get it! I ask my guy friends and they say I am an "intimidating" girl, yeah right! I am a very friendly person and hate the idea that guys instantly turn away cause of the way I look, or instantly judge me because of that. I guess I just need to do what everyone says and let it be until the time is right. In the meantime, it just sucks when it is in my face all the time! thanks for the advice though, it is really interesting to see what you all have to say.
  20. shellie12345
    i know it seems like i am rushing, but I feel like the novelty of being single has worn off. I feel like guys look at me and think that I am ditzy or stupid because of the way I look. When in reality, I am the total opposite and I hate to think that no one is willing to stick around to find that out. I am not rushing to get married or anything, I just want someone in my life to share things with and have some fun with. I am lonely I guess thats why! I am sick of looking and I feel like I have run out of places to look.
  21. shellie12345
    I have been posting various questions lately regarding, different guys, how to approach men etc.... All the advice I have been given is great. This particular post is my way of venting and searching for some encouraging thoughts from anyone who is willing. I know I am still young and I should not feel so frustrated about dating but I do, and I can't help it. Every guy I meet is the same, and all the good ones are TAKEN! I live in a house at university with 5 other girls who all are dating or have boyfriends, its just so discouraging and lonely to never be able to meet someone. Guys come up to me all the time, but none of them seem worth dating. I don't think I am the most beautiful woman in the world or anything so I don't think I am being too picky. Guys tell me I am very good-looking, funny, smart etc.....but none of the good ones ever stick around. My question is, WHERE IS HE?? Where is the guy that will stick around to see what I am all about? Where is the guy who should be spending these amazing times at university with me? All my friends have someone to go home to after a bar or whatever....it seems like it will never happen for me! Am I too impatient? I just feel like it is never gonna happen for me!
  22. shellie12345
    well i must say, i was very surpised by some of the comments you all gave me...pleasantly surprised though See the thing is, if guys like it when girls are a little shy then I must be approaching all the wrong guys. When I do approach (which is not all the time) I usually end up feeling like an idiot because the guy simply shows no interest in continuing the conversation, or I say a stupid line or joke (like I always do) and feel too embarrassed to keep talking! My girlfriends often tease me because of that, when I get nevous I say the stupidest things as a feeble attempt at being funny....it happens far too often! Anyway, thanks for the encouragement guys. I guess I should just keep my fingers crossed that one day one of my silly comments will spark something with the "right" guy, for now I can just be me! One more thing....no one really answered this one, do you guys like it when we buy you a drink?? Seems like a silly question but I always wondered. thanks again shellie
  23. shellie12345
    Ok guys, I have the hardest time approaching men that I am attracted to. I think it is self-esteem. I don't have extremely low self esteem but whenever I try to approach someone I just clam up and freeze. I am normally a very outgoing girl and I love good conversation, but I go blank right away! I feel so silly afterwards because i know that i could have said or done a million things to show my true personality. My question for all of you is, if a girl who approaches you kinda shys away and runs out of things to say, is it a huge turn-off? Or can you tell she is just being shy and understand? Also, what turns you all on when a girl comes up to you? Do you like a funny comment?for her to buy you a drink? Or do you just like her to come and introduce herself to you? Help is needed here!!! thanks
  24. shellie12345
    well to be honest I have considered getting a reduction. But then I feel like that would be the equivalent to a girl with small breats getting implants. I don't want to feel like this and I would do anything to change it. I would not want to give in to something so vain. The only time I would spend money on something like that would be if it were for health reasons. RIght now, my breasts are large but they are not troubling me in any way other then what we have already discussed. I think its sad that I can't be fully happy with myself, but it may just be human nature...you want what you don't have.
  25. shellie12345
    I know that there are guys out there who will like me for me and not just my appearance. However, it is hard to see past something that has become so common. It is like any bad habit I guess. We all have habits we wish we could kick, it takes time and a lot of work to be able to do that. For so many women, body image is a struggle. I struggle and I try to "kick that habit" so to speak. However, like I said, with it all around you and in your face it is very hard to do. I think all women are beautiful and all frames are unique....we should cerish them all!
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