Capricorn3

^ I was going to say the same thing. OP, it is not necessary to keep starting new threads for each individual/different complaint. It gets too confusing for members to follow. Please stick to one thread when it's all pertaining to the same topic. Thanks.

Sounds like a good idea. Bare in mind though that during this time he may change his mind, and you too, might change and see things differently. For now though, cross that bridge when you get to it.

I don't mean to be harsh, but I don't see any love left from your boyfriend's side. It seems clear (to me), that he has long signed out and is no longer interested in a relationship with you. Once the spark is gone, it doesn't ever really come back. (sorry). Time for you to learn to accept that he's done, and move on with your life.

Time to change therapists.

Ohh, now that I think about it, I have heard of the "dozen red roses" thing. I didn't know though, that it extends to other bouquets. But then again, I have never counted, but should I guess, I have only received the "five flower" bunches, lol. ~shock/horror~ Gawd, I am so behind the times. OP, I understand that you feel disappointed, especially because you have told him before how you feel. That said, seeing as he still gives you a "small" bunch, it shows that he's just not into giving too much thought to gifts in general. (Many people are like this). You have to learn to accept that this is who he is. He's not going to change. Accept the flowers graciously in future and don't make it a drama. You don't want to go down in the books for getting divorced because he never gave you large bouquets. Keys words: Accept that this is who he is. Choose your battles.

Ok, I have just learned something. I am older than air, been married so long I have lost count, but I never knew there was a difference between a "12 count" flowers, and any other bunch of flowers. 🤣 To me, a bunch of flowers was just a bunch of flowers - a pretty gift on a birthday. I have never counted the amount of flowers in any bunch that I have ever received. Do people really do that!?? 🤔 Man, I'm such a dinosaur, lol.

Done. Closed.

What kind of reply did you expect? Serious question. What if she agreed with you and said: "Oh absolutely! It's the best thing ever!" Would you been happy with that response? Is that what you hoped for?

^ I second this post.

Ditto!

Good luck, OP. I hope it works for you. 🙂

^ I have to admit I was thinking that too. Many times it's an excuse to "let them down easy" - like "thank you, but no thank you".

I think asking her out at this stage risks you being a rebound. I know if I just ended a toxic relationship such a short time ago, I definitely would not be wanting to date anytime soon (but that's just me). That said, I guess the only way you will find out is to ask her and see what she says.

I don't mean to be unkind, but after 20 years in therapy to address your rage issues, it's clearly not working and never has. Maybe time to change therapists and keep changing until you find someone who finally does help, as it is unfair and wrong that other people have to bear the brunt of your rage issues.

It's way too presumptuous to tell him he's making a mistake. You need to learn to accept that he has found someone new and is moving on. You can't get him back if he doesn't want to go back to you. He's chosen to move on and it's best you do the same.

He's clearly happy with FWB and will continue as long as you let him. If you are happy with FWB, then it's all good. If not, then this man is not for you and it's best to listen to him - move on.

I agree. You're old enough to be her father. I guess it would all come down to how she feels and, of course, what her actual age is. Who knows, even if you did date for a while, it's highly unlikely it will turn into a long term relationship (imo). She's on a completely different page to you currently, and maturity levels are at odds too, etc. Maybe she already has a boyfriend. Lots to think about.

Currently long distance? Perfect! That is a perfect opportunity to send a text - keep it simple - "sorry, it's just not working for me". Then block. Go full NC. This man is abusive and the sooner you are rid of him, the better. If he continues to harass you, report him to the authorities.

I agree with getting all your ducks in a row and seeing an attorney etc. Once you have all that organized, the next time he threatens to leave you, help him pack and show him the door.

First thing to do is to make better choices in partners. Then my advice would be to not get married, especially knowing her history. You're setting yourself up for a lot of drama, headaches and hurt ... and eventually divorce, which will cost you a lot of money. There is no decent future with her. This will not end up being a happy, healthy or successful relationship (imo). You can do a lot better.

^ THIS. It's as simple as this. I mean, if you can get all naked with someone and have sex over some time, then surely you should be able to say the above. You're making a huge issue out of what should be easily solved.

I think both of you should be tested for STDs. You don't know if he has passed anything onto you either. As you both know you had unprotected sex, it would be wise that you both get tested (imo).

They're probably just disappointed that you declined joining them after they asked you. Just explain that you would have felt bad for your dad if you joined them. It's really not such a big deal.

Talk about a thousand red warning flags. You should take heed. I would pack my bags and be out the door so fast you wouldn't see me for dust.

First thing to do is to stop forgiving this jerk. Stop wasting money on therapy. He has shown you his true colors, and they are not very impressive. I mean, can you imagine living an entire lifetime with a lying, cheating, deceitful jerk? You can't trust him and without trust, you have nothing. Dump him. Don't waste your life. Move on and find a decent respectful man.