PrincessLuXLu

I disagree with that saying because I used to cheat when I was younger when i were with my exes. I have been with my current boyfriend for almost 3 years now and I have never cheated because I love him and will never hurt him.

I am turning 19 on sept. 29 and not sure if i want to live to see my birthday. There is too much pain in my life and i don't care to feel anymore. All i feel is agony and pain. My heart is already shredded into little pieces and there is no cure. My mom is emotionally unstable because my dad is still cheating on her. She constantly yells at me and my brother. My dad is just a psycho that don't bring much money home because he is taking care of his other family. My mom doesn't want to divorce him. After i moved because of my mom not working because of my dad, i have left my old neighborhood and my friends. My best friend had to move away to florida because she has a baby. i have been with the same guy for almost 3 years, the only thing that keeps me alive so far. We haven't been in a very good relationship for a year and a half and argue constantly. We also had done things that hurt each other (not intentionally). My boyfriend already has his life set. I feel like a burden because i feel i am slowing him down and i know sooner or later he is going to leave me again. I love this guy to death though. i feel as though i have nobody and is being punished for something. basically, i have no friends, no family, no soul mate, and no future (didn't finish highschool). I am also dillusional and i keep thinking that i am not in my own body and keep thinking that i had a body switch or something. Please don't laugh, this is some serious stuff. I feel as though i am going insane. i am always nervous, anxious, fearful, and depressed. i hate myself, i hate my family, and i hate everybody almost. most of all i hate my mind and my so called useless piece of nothing life. i seriously am considering about suicide. i have throughout the summer, and my mental image of everything is basically psychotic. i want to jump off the roof and land on a car to show everyone the pain i feel. i don't even know who i am anymore anyway. i know i belong in a mental institute and actually don't mind going. but with what money? if god can only take my soul from my body and let me die a peaceful death.

did i actually make you think that or are you just kidding? sorry about that.

thinking about stuff like that is not normal right?

Hi, my name is Lucy and i have posted before. What i am going to tell you is about to make you think that i am crazy. i keep having these thoughts that i am not me. i keep thinking that i am in someone elses body. isn't that scary? i keep reading things about brain transplants and stuff, and i actually believe that i am in someone else's body even though i know i grew up with only memories of being me. i seriously think that i might be nuts. i am afraid of telling people about this because people might think i am crazy. well, i honestly think i am nuts. i cry all the time, it's like i am loosing myself. i usually don't think about stuff like that, but i've always had ocd since i was like 14(not diagnosed), like washing my hands alot, and doing things more than twice. my brain is playing tricks on me. i think maybe it also has to do with what happened throughout my life. please dont laugh at this.

Hi, I would like to know how to shorten my menstrual periods because they last 7-8 days. Any tips? Thanks a whole bunch.

Hi, I am an 18 year old girl who is masterbating at least once per day, and mostly 2-3-4 times per day. I think I might be suffering from depression and that's why I do it. I do it especially when I am sad, depressed, or angry. I even do it when I cry and sometimes I am not even in the mood. I have been masterbating since I was 14 years old and have masterbated alot then, but not compared to this past year. I even replaced the simple enjoyments of the outside life with excessive masterbation. What should I do?

My problem is not mainly that, it's the weird thoughts I have and believing them that scares me. I am having crazy thoughts that I am not me. It just started recently. I am scaring myself because I think I might be going crazy.

Hi, my name is Lucy and I am having extreme psychological issues after I found out my boyfriend looked at porn. I seem to not be thinking straight and seem to have an identity problem. I think i might be going crazy. Everything I feel is depression, sadness, and confusion. By identity problems meaning I think insane thoughts of being not me, but truly somebody unnattractive. Am I going crazy?

I am too depressed. I cry every minute of the day. Not once do I not cry. Everytime i go get help, something negative always happen.

Hi, my name is Lucy and i have posted here before. Well.....the problem is that I want to commit suicide more then ever now and I am only 18 yrs old. I can't focus, everything in life is so blurry, I haven't accomplished anything, I don't really have many friends, and i can't trust anyone anymore. I don't feel much of anything except for extreme sadness and depression. I really, really want to die. I have prayed several times to God to end my life during my sleep, but my prayer isn't being answered. I don't want to do it myself because I will go to hell if I do even though I have not been a religious person in a while. I also am extremely unhappy at home and want to get out of here. I have tried given life a chance a couple of years ago, but right now I wish i didn't. This awful pain is killing me slowly day by day. What should i do? I am at the brink of doing something.

thank you. i will try and succeed, but i guess i have to love and help myself.

i have the same problem. there is no such thing as too much porn and to little porn. there should be no such thing as it unless you guys want new positions. if he truly loves you, and is satisfied with you, he shouldn't need it. ask him he if he is willing to stop if you guys made a video together or take pictures of yourself. because i made a video with my boyfriend and he uses porn instead of that, and he claims we have amazing sex and we have it almost all the time. guys always lie just to get the sex and meanwhile they can fantasize about other woman also. especially when a guy lies, says it's wrong and he does it behind your back, and make himself seem perfect for you. that's what mine did, and now i have a self esteem of nothing. love doesn't have to be like this, but us woman have to deal with it day to day.

i am so depressed with my life. everyday is a hole in my heart, always wanting to cry. feeling unloved and lonely. i am devastated with my life. i somewhat want to get help, but i am too depressed for even that. i dont feel good about myself. i am told i am beautiful and smart. but i haven't accomplished anything. i didn't finish high school and i am doing nothing but staying at home all day. i dont have any close friends. my tears are slowly rolling down my eyes and i need someone to talk to. i am scared to hurt myself because i don't want to. but my mind constanltly thinking about suicidal thoughts.

I am 18 years old, and my boyfriend is 21. Maybe it was because of my relationships in the past. I used to date almost all guys that were like that. I didn't mind. But how is he going to try and make me the best in that department if i'm not. It's like having a relationship with 2 people. The person he was before made me believe who he was. I am really attracted to innocence, but with all the lies especially, it just didn't make any sense. I wouldn't even mind if he hung a picture of a woman on the wall naked, if he thinks it looks nice, fine. But he looks at another woman when he gets home, and sneaks and masterbates with it while i am sleeping in my bed waiting to see him the next day on the same day i gave him sex. He was also unsure about seeing me the next day.

That was beautiful romantic. It made me cry and i truly believe you when you say all that. The worst part was, he suggested us to no have sex the next day because he wanted to hang out. That was pretty much abnormal because he have always wanted sex. He even said he had to study and do homework the next day. So i guess he couldn't wait for me to get there the next day to please him. He also claims that he doesn't like it but i turned him into a sex addict so he needed to look at another woman for the time being. Did i mention we made a sex video together? He could've used that because there is nothing wrong with looking at me and him making love. The BS he gave me was he forgot it was there but he would rather have me. Does that make any sense? He also tells me he always holds it until i see him. I give him every single oppurtunity to have me. He even said i was the best he ever had. What the heck is wrong then? How can he look at me the same day after he jerked off last night. He woke up at 12 in the morning just to do that.

I felt betrayed because he made me think it was bad. He said it was stupid and they are doing something stupid. I just wish he didn't try to make me feel so good about myself but meanwhile i really didn't because i knew he was lying. He tried to convince me he doesn't like that. When we watch a movie and there is a nude woman, i asked him if he likes that, he says no and said he would rather it be unseen. He made me convinced that he was different. Also the fact that i give him sex or get him off almost everyday. Twice in one day maybe. How would he like it if i did something like that? He would stop being with me and he would want to stop being with me without the sex. He doesn't even suggest that if he likes it we can look at stuff like that together. I suggested that because i love him overall.

Well i understand what you are trying to say. But it hurts so much because he took me away from all the bad stuff and made me believe stuff like that was bad. I also had prior experiences with other partners before and was treated like a slut. I was even forced to have sex with those other men. He doesn't like guys checking me out or think of me as a sex object. Why does he treat me and those other woman like some getting off toy? I attempted to stop having sex with him because i felt unsatisfying for him and he attempted to end the relationship because of it. I am a beautful girl like i was told, especially by him. I have a beautiful face, nice hair, petite, and curvy. I look way better than them, they all look like hookers. Maybe he is afraid of loosing me and doesn't feel good about himself. He may even been depressed and may do it out of frustration. Either way he lied to me so many times. If he would rather look at that then why does he need me in bed for. I feel like such a slut now. Especially the fact that he said we should end it if i didn't give him any.

Hi, my name is Lucy and I have a boyfriend. We've been together for 2 and a half years. To begin with he seemed like a nice guy and said he wasn't like other guys. He also told me that it is stupid how guys have girlfriends and they watch porn. But of course i didn't believe him. I wanted to but i didn't. The reason why is because in the beginning of the relationship, he was always talking about other girls, not just once, numerous times. The way he spoke of them sounded like he liked girls like that. Anyway, when we started going out till now, we have had alot of sex. He always claims that i am terrific and only thinks about me in a sexual way. I felt special of course, because i thought i took him from all that "garbage", that's what he called it. He even said it is stupid that woman does that and it doesn't rock his boat. Well, what i did was i downloaded alot of porn and i spoke to my ex because i was depressed and my instincts told me he was looking at that stuff. Of course he wouldn't admit it because he wanted me to continue having sex with him and he loves me. He spyed on my computer and found out that i had done that. But after that he told me he isn't and he wouldn't because i am all that he needs. I stopped because i didn't want to do stuff like that because i don't like it and i thought he told me the truth. That was more than a year ago. Well, one day he bought a computer and it was set up in his room, and i know i couldn't trust him. So one day, i decided to use his computer while he was in the shower. Little did i know, he was looking at porn sites behind my back. Once i found out, i started to cry and i asked him why. He quickly told me to leave and wanted to break up with me "again". He told me he did it because he knew i was going to snoop and that he didn't do anything to it. So fine, i believed him. He asked me to stop accusing him, and i did. I was really nice to him afterwards, and didn't bring up the subject. About 3 days ago, i found stuff in his cpu again. Again, he told me to leave because he knew he did something wrong. The worst part was, i had sex with him on the same day and we made an intimate video just in case he needed it. He admitted he did something with the porn for a while and he lied to me so i wouldn't pester him about it. He even told me that i left him horny again and he had to do something about it. Then why the heck did we make that video with him. He looked at porn more than he watched me. I felt like i didn't satisfy him, so I am depressed especially the fact that he was the only one i trusted because of my problems. The worst part was that he didn't share this with me, and if he wanted to look at it together, I would. I know it doesn't make sense, but this feeling makes me want to die. I can't figure out why. Help!!