tattoobunnie

Not for nothing, but this screams, you don't have kids or dogs. And, you probably don't go camping. Being comfortable in your own skin, being able to rock wearing a garbage bag, being able to veg out with your love, that's not lazy. It's just not a priority to hide behind makeup and formal wear. His statement that he is no longer attracted to her is his way to deflect and has nothing to do with her appearance. They just are not a good fit. And instead of not being a coward, and breaking up with her, he moves the goal post. He's a tool.

You are with the wrong dude. He sounds so LAME. My hubs and I love to lay around in our PJs as much as possible, and be with our dogs and human children. Never think you should settle. Why isn't he planning dates or being romantic? He's a coward just throwing you under the bus, and always making it your fault. Do yourself a favor, and dump him.

Not to compare, but I've had one major issue in over a decade of marriage. 4 issues in 7 months screams NOT A GOOD FIT. It doesn't matter how many names you know, and how much gas you fill in her car, it only takes one bite of a scorpion to do damage. I have gotten a restraining order before against an ex. I am not sure how that kept you from divorcing. Maybe spend time focusing on the kids you are fighting to keep their mom from, instead of a girl young enough to be your daughter.

This is why you don't date or try to get serious unless you've been divorced for a full year. Why? Because you're vulnerable and will put all your eggs into one basket into anyone that is filling the void you felt you in your marriage. Just because you've exchanged pillow talk and sex and affection for fiscal comforts, it does not mean she's right for you. Do you even know what her personal goals are? What she likes to do? Who her friends or family are? When you lead with money in your relationship(s), it will always be about money, even when they told you that you can now have the "milk" for free. She is also a child by comparison that you use to your advantage by treating her however you want because she doesn't know better yet. Maybe take a break from dating or hooking up or being a sugar daddy, and use that same energy towards your kids and helping them navigate the divorce. Even though your marriage has been dead for quite some time, it hasn't been for your kids.

It takes more than just being with someone for 3 years to make a marriage work. You spent over two years with someone who was not a sound partner, and made you do all the work, and treated you like his mom. He'll soon slip back into his habits. As for the other guy, he feels like home to you because of the trauma you've both endured, but that does not make him your soul mate. Nor is that belief helpful or sustainable. You are fated to no one. You need to focus on whether a person is the right fit for you, is accountable, and can show up for you. So, yes, break up and explore with the other guy, but keep in mind, it's not about being soul mates that make a lifelong relationship successful; it's about mutual respect, kindness, being there for each other, and physical and mental intimacy.

So a man drinking and driving your son around and beating you isn't killing your nerves?

You can still sue for full custody. Of course your eight year old loves his father. He doesn't know any different. Please seek legal counsel. He drank and drove with your son, and did not seek immediate medical attention for him when it was an emergency.

So you talked her into how you can move away to work and save money to start a life together in a few years, and you change your mind once you do get the money? And you blame all of it on your PSTD, and how she responds to you wishy-washy behavior is unacceptable. I hope she finds the best man who want ever give her the runaround again. You are not it.

Call and leave a message. Or call and talk to him. Set up a meeting date at a public place. If he/she has an excuse even the first time, he or she is catfishing you.

For curious people, yes. For Narcissists, yes. For bored people, yes. For insecure people, yes. I wouldn't look too deeply at it.

So you break up, and she has to leave her job. And you start dating, and she's back to working with you again? If she was declaring love after two months, I would be weirded out. You were treating her like sh*t, she had to get away from the situation, find a new job, and you expect her to go balls out in romance and undying love. Slow your roll, dude.

Leaving this right here: https://www.thedailybeast.com/hair-pulling-brawls-a-dead-horse-cheerleader-sues-smithtown-school-over-bullying DASA is Dignity for All Students Act (The Dignity Act) seeks to provide the State’s public elementary and secondary school students with a safe and supportive environment free from discrimination, intimidation, taunting, harassment, and bullying on school property, a school bus and/or at a school function. I'm not 100% if you have this by you; we do in New York State. If you do, file a report. File a report with the police if you do not. If it doesn't stop, and your administration are chickens, don't let it go.

M is not the problem here. Gossip is fun. But you weren't gossiping about your friend. Gossip is spreading rumors. You were backstabbing a friend, and that's 100% sh**y. Just don't talk sh*t about your friends, and if you feel the need to, you probably aren't actually real friends to begin with.

Been there, done that, got the T-shirt. It happens to the best of us. Go easy on yourself, and take the time to work through it. He tried, and failed, and you got out. You did nothing wrong, but dated a bad apple. No point in judging others by every single relationship a person has, nor judging you on the choices another person made. Took me 5 years because I shoved what happened to me under a rug...so take the time to work through what happened to you.

Giving you mad props here!!! You have come a long way, and are doing all the right things! Setting boundaries. Knowing what you want, and making room for it. To be honest, your new post is amazing, and I'm glad you are seeing things clearly. It's normal to question if you are doing the right thing, and you are. It can be confusing when you have an emotionally abusive parent holding them being your parent over your head. You owe you parents nothing. They chose to have you. And its the parents job to give you the right tools, so you can live your own life to the very best of your abilities. Honestly, she has a husband. You don't have to balance anything. Even if you crawled up inside her womb, she'd still demand more of your time. You do you. And stick with it. There may be a point she calls 15x in a row. But you pick up on the 15th time, which they remember as how many times will work, or the reasons for you to call/pick up could be vague enough as a way to pique your interest, when it isn't that pressing. Just know, emotional abuse isn't just calling you ugly and good for nothing...it's an abuse of your time with an over the top expectation of it. Her gaslighting you is also gross.

Sometimes you aren't always going to be the center of attention. Sometimes you need to make small talk with different people that aren't hanging with your boyfriend. Sometimes, you need to learn the art of doom-scrolling on your phone to fill in gaps. Sorry, you don't have an old crew you can't catch up. In 5 years you've been with him, is there a reason why you cannot handle him catching up with old friends for one night? It says a lot about your securities; not his ex who's married with kids to a man who was there. I get it; you got jealous. But, they did include you regularly. It's impossible for a group to make you the center of attention all the time, especially when you aren't making the effort to get to know them.

Wow. What an ableist POS. He is dangerous to you and your kid. If you can leave, leave. It will only get worse. He's like the Wicked Step Mother in Cinderella.

Same here. She wouldn't have to keep asking him if he would take initiate or do as requested the first time. Just because he's not home as much doesn't mean he can't pitch in with managing the household. She didn't sign up to work full-time, and wait on him hand and foot. Nor, should she be made to because of some "traditional roles." It does not have to be the same chores, but it needs to be designated who does what, and equitably. She is telling him her needs. He dismisses her. Sometimes it really is about just getting some juice on their way home.

Demand to have a DASA report filled out. File a police report. The detective will get a yearbook for your son to point out the kid. Also contact the Superintendent. Is you grandson still being bullied, or was the bruised shins the one time. HUGS...no child should be afraid to get an education.

ewwwwwwwwww...sorry, that's when you say, "what do I need to be? You're my partner, and drink juice too. It shouldn't just be me getting all the groceries." He is not a child, so if treat him like a child that needs a big compliment every time, that dynamic will never ever die.

I would never ever stay with a man who wanted to control what I did with my own body in private. Your unresolved issues with sex, sexuality, masturbation, insecurity, possessiveness, obsessive rejection dysphoria are yours and yours alone to work through. It is not his fault you have trauma in connection to masturbation, and it's not his responsibility to work through your trauma with you. I would let him go. You are not ready to be in a committed relationship where you accept the person for who they are, not what you believe they should be like.

It's his home too, and his must do his share to keep up the home. You are not his mom or the hired help. Say "no." Don't give him an inch. Or expect another 30 years of resentment and exhaustion, and if you have kids, forget it, he will lump all responsibility onto you. NO THANKS. If you fights you on this, do not do his laundry, period. Do not make him food. You are both contributing fiscally, and should have equal chores at home. It does not have to be the same things, but it should be discussed on who does what.

Where are they now? It's not seedy, but it sets the tone that this is it. There a level of pressure that this is the end game. It "doesn't have to lead to sex," but that is showing her how you lead. It's different if it's with a group, or you've known eachother for a while. Save the cheap home date that in reality, makes a woman anxious, especially when you weren't friends prior and know eachother, for down the road. When you are married with kids, all dates are Netflix and chill or game night.

It is on the third date to a woman. It's like asking for sex on the 3rd date. Even if you aren't, it's implied, and considered to be much less effort and consideration. Instead of forcing the situation or setting it up to be about a wham-bam, take your time before even making that a go to date.

How did she take the photo and hold onto the guy? How was she in the air if her legs were wrapped around the guy? Strippers are beyond gross to me, but I've got to strip clubs and hired strippers because it's some gross tradition, and I'm a good sport. I have zero interest in them though. I wouldn't hold it against her. She was no doubt ambushed by the bride to get it done.