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Pretzel

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  1. Hello, I don't even know where to start but I'll try to break it down. Back in July of this year, I sensed something was off in my relationship so I pressed my boyfriend about it. He told me the following: 1. He's not attracted to me anymore 2. He then suggested couples counselling and I said yes sure if that's what he wants (though I don't see how a counsellor can suddenly bring back the spark between us and make him attracted to me), however he hasn't even gone to the effort of finding a counsellor or organising it. I don't want to do it as I don't feel it's my responsibility, given it was his idea. 3. He's given excuses such as "you're always in your track pants since Covid, you don't take proper care of yourself since you adopted the second dog". 4. He said we don't have enough fun together and have shared experiences, we stay at home with the dogs too much. 5. He doesn't seem to enjoy the fact that I spend a lot of time with my dogs and I like the dogs to be involved in as much of my life as possible. That's something that I can't change. My dogs will always be a big part of my life and I'm not willing to change how I feel about them. They are like my children. So far, I have taken onboard his feedback in two ways: Firstly, I have been making more of an effort with my appearance. I work from home full time so it's easy for me to just stay in PJs all day if I'm not consciously making an effort to dress up. Secondly, I've been arranging dates/outings for us to go to (cinema, theatres etc.) since he said we're not having enough fun together and doing much despite living in a city where we have access to lots of places to go. I love staying at home, so just like the PJs, I could easily stay in and watch Netflix for a whole week if I'm not pushed to go out. It's been good and he's noticed that I've made changes, and appreciated them, but I don't know what else to do as there still doesn't seem to be much of a spark. We've been together for years and I don't know what to do to bring the spark back. We haven't had sex in a few months. I feel a bit hurt since he said he's not attracted so I don't want to be the one to make the move. I feel he should be the one to initiate it. I feel stuck. I don't know how to move forwards. Personally, I was happy & content with him, until he told me all these things back in July of this year when I pressed him on why he seems distant all of a sudden. It all happened just before he was supposed to move in with me. That's what seemed to have triggered all of these things to come up for him. And they were the reasons provided for him not moving in, as he feels we're not in the place we should be for that to happen. I told him perhaps he should just find someone else to be with. He responded to say: But I don't want to be with anyone else. What do I do?
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