Leonhart

It seems buying him a subscription to Playboy is in order.

I'd say go for it. You have nothing to lose.

I think that I would be spared a lot of trouble, heartache, time and money were I to remain single. If I were to overcome my negative emotions completely, I would be much more at peace and content in my life. Right now, that's my goal.

I think that most men should do the approaching - mind you, I'm not at all advocating a special set of rules for myself, but being the alpha male and just randomly approaching women has never been me. I don't want it to be me, either. In any event, I just don't want to be hurt again emotionally. I don't think I could go through another painful break-up, I'm very fragile. I just don't see it as being worth the risk of everything. And I hate the idea of just being with someone to alleviate my own feelings of loneliness. I was perfectly content being single years ago, so why should that change now? Just because I'm lonely? I don't think that's fair to the other person. I'd rather go back to the days when I was "Alone, but not lonely." And in those days, I was perfectly happy being single and alone. It didn't bother me in the least, well, barely anyway.

It is likely a scam put on by JFK. I've seen the videos and have my own doubts about it. It looked very phony, in my opinion.

Welcome to the club, sister. We're always recruiting new members. You get a complimentary hat, pin and a free glass of punch with your membership. Lucky you, huh? I can relate. But I've also come to realize that wanting a mate simply because I am lonely is not a good thing. Because deep down, I don't know if I really DO want anyone. I just want to stop feeling so bad inside. And expecting another person to somehow fix that won't work. I'm not saying that's you, but it definitely is me.

I guess not. The first thing they told us in school was to never trust anything you read in the media. Not trying to sound cynical, but it's probably true.

Romance is HIGHLY overrated.

Yep. I often think I blew it. But life goes on, or so they say. Is the person you thought was 'meant for you' married? If not, you may still have a chance! I'd like to believe that if things are 'meant to be', that they will somehow find a way. So cheer up, sis. As for me, I am no longer in that running. The one I think may have been 'the one' is no longer available. She's married now, so that is out of the question for me. Que sera, sera.

I don't know if that statistic is accurate. I imagine quite a few romances may stem from a workplace endeavor, but not 75%. That seems a bit high. I've read for school all sorts of things about how people meet. It seems most people get together through friends, family - set ups, I presume - school, religious/community activites, and yes work also. I can't see any other way people would meet, unless you count online dating. As for signs from men, uhh, we're usually pretty slow to use signals. A guy will probably just ask a girl out if he likes her, or he may be really rude, smarmy and cocky if he wants to create tension between them.

Ha ha ha. That's very funny. True, but very funny. I think you make a good point about that. Females are only human too, far from perfect, so why elevate them to some godlike status when they're fallible beings, just like everyone else?

Leaving things to fate has done little to help me. All it has done is left me with misgivings. karvala's story is a very good one. I've heard it before, but it's very true, no matter how many times I hear it.

Yeah, it can be hard. I didn't get my first partner till I was 18, and even then, we met online, so it wasn't a 'normal' situation to begin with. I can understand where you're coming from. You want to fit in, but you feel like you're different because you don't have what everyone else does. I can assure you you're not as different as you may think. There are other people - both males and females - out there who are going through exactly the same thing as you, feeling they don't fit in because they're single and thinking they'll never find anyone. But just because you think something doesn't necessarily make it true. I ask you, why do you think you'll never find anyone? You talk as though you have some huge flaw that everyone can see. Believe me, people will only know you're single if you tell them. There's no sign that hangs over your head that gives it away. So stopping feeling inferior to others. And think about why you feel that you'll never find anyone. (And if you don't feel this way, I apologize in advance, just how I read it.) You probably have many great qualities that others would kill for! Reflect on those and you'll start to realize how silly your thinking is.

Being in love is wonderful, but its transcience makes it a double-edged sword. In other words, as nice as it is, it doesn't usually last and that makes it a bittersweet experience in the long run.

Good luck! I'm sure you'll do fine! (More women need to take your approach and do stuff like this! Forget gender and just go for it!!)

Knowing that at least one person out there loves and accepts me unconditionally.

Oh, okay. We're more on the same page then. Except I don't see being shy as a necessarily bad thing. There are worse things one can be. I am probably better off as a loner anyway, so it's okay. I do expect anyone interested in me to put forth some extra effort, I believe I am worth it. Can't knock me for having feeling good about myself. I suppose I could be a little more friendly if someone has expressed some form of interest with me. But as I said, I sort of like being alone, even though it can be an emotionally painful and bitter experience. I don't want to sound too jaded, but I guess I believe that being on one's own isn't such a bad thing. In fact, it may be more preferable than being with someone. Especially when we look at the divorce rates and abuse that comes with so many 'romances.' And being hurt is never fun, emotionally or otherwise. For me, it's probably not worth the risk of 'putting myself out there.' What payoff is really worth it? Honestly now. And Orlander, no disrespect, but simply because I was born with a penis means that I must be the one to do everything? I don't think that's fair, or a commonly held view in this day and age. Who still goes by those old traditional gender stereotypes for male and female behavior anymore? Most girls I know don't like the macho, tough guys, so expecting them to be the timid, docile female who lets the man approach her does not register with them. And I think that guys who just brazenly approach any woman they want without no interest on her part are either very successful already with women, since otherwise they'd have little reason for such an odd behavior. And I do believe you can gauge interest by reading body language. Most human behavior is non-verbal, so to ignore that would be almost foolish. Anyway, I've prattled on enough.

I wish I didn't want to be, but unfortunately, I do. All part of being human, I guess. Sorry, not to say asexual people aren't human, they are in every way. They're the lucky ones, in my book.

I don't think they was upset over not having it all. They were probably upset - I'm projecting here - because they are lonely and want a mate to be with. That's perfectly normal for that age, and would be unusual were it not the case.

It's perfectly normal and natural to desire a partner when one is 20. College age students place a huge deal of importance on being in a relationship and being in 'love.' Those who don't are in the minority.

I have no interest in becoming a completely different person for anyone, especially not for the sake of a passing crush. That would be selling out. Being extroverted and bold has never been my style. And I doubt if that will somehow change in the future. Being alone isn't bad at all. There are worse things in life. Letting a negative emotion dictate one's life, though, is never a good thing. Some people don't seem to mind rejection. Others would rather die than be rejected. I suppose individual differences would affect which view people take on rejection.

Well, flirting non-verbally has never been much of a male domain to begin with, so I don't think I'll be changing that any time soon. The obvious thing to do if you like someone is to approach them. But only a fool would approach someone without some indication of interest on the other party's side first. That doesn't always happen for me. And if it does, then I need a lot of reassurance that I'll be accepted, not rejected. I've approached people before and had it fail miserably, even when all of the 'signs' were there, so I'm a little more reluctant to try again.

I firmly espouse the idea that emotions and logic are polar opposites. And women do tend to be more emotionally-based, whereas men tend to be more logically-based. I can't be sick of an idea that I believe is correct, nor one that I've even seen to be true. I'm not going into the nature vs. nurture debate as to its origins - especially since the correct answer would be both. But I can say that there are exceptions to the rule. I am probably an exception. But being an exception, in this world, is hardly a desirable quality. Bottomline: For me, I detest being emotional. I'd go one further and say I detest having emotions. But such is life and life is such, no?

I can speak from experience as a male who is shy with anyone I may be interested in. You would never know if I was interested. I would show no signs of interest and do my best to hide any interest or signs. As I said before, shy men are a completely different species.

Sounds like she REALLY likes you. If you keep resisting her, she may get hurt and look elsewhere. So keep your distance, of course, but if you continue to blow her off, don't expect her to come running to you later.