itseuphoric

most girls aren't as shallow as you'd think, actually. i mean...everyone is shallow to a certain degree (which is natural), but most aren't that bad. yeah, a lot of people have a lot of different tastes...but if they say stuff to you that gets to you, call them on it. let them know. you'll most likely feel better too!

if those girls are racist- stay away! i guarantee you that you can find a girl out there who doesn't give a care about your skin color. i don't give skin color a second thought if i'm attracted to someone, and neither do my girl friends! look for a girl who won't care, one who will love you for you! trust me- they are out there. just keep lookin! in todays day and age, lighter skin may be "out" while darker skin is "in", i dont really know. but if that is true...don't worry about it! there are too many people out there who don't even care whats in or whats out. i know i don't! there is someone out there whos gunna love you for you. just look for her. in the meantime, don't sweat it! be confident in who you are, regardless of your skin color! oh, and p.s.- i'm not a white girl, and i tend to like white guys. see what i mean?

that is a difficult situation to be in! i sympathize with you. my advice is for you to just decide now what you want. if you honestly feel the relationship will go somewhere and you really do love him, then the two year wait will be so worth it! if you aren't sure about the relationship or about him, then make the decision now. don't wait it out. it doesn't matter if your family and friends like him...what matters is that you are happy. keep that in mind! as for his "anger" issue...as long as he's not angry with you and/or abusing you, then you've got nothing to worry about! i don't know a single person who wouldn't get heated at someone talkin crap about them, so i don't see that as much of an anger issue. but if he ever starts to abuse you or anything like that, get out of the relationship. that is not healthy. i hope that the situation works out for you! best of luck!

i think we can all at some point relate to this. the nice thing about missing the relationship and not the person is...well, the person most likely isn't coming back, but you can always start a new relationship with someone and get everything you ever wanted from that. just look forward to what you can have, and not what you had. best wishes

aight..so here's the situation. my sister who is a year older than me has a boyfriend. they've been dating for about 2 and a half years now. everything started out fine, he seemed to be a great guy and all of my family loved him. but recently, things have changed... all of us think he is a jerk to her now. he treats her like crap constantly, and she just sits there and takes it. no matter what happens, she just sits there and does nothing about it. sure, sometimes she'll argue with him about things...but as long as he says "i'm sorry" she shuts up and lets him make the same mistakes over and over again. just recently they had planned to go somewhere together after he got off work. she waited around for him and got all dressed up, and then he calls her after work to tell her that he decided to go somewhere with his friend instead (after HE called HER to do something). she was upset and told him they'd already made plans...so he said he'd call when he knew what he was going to do. hours later, he never called. never even showed up. he does this constantly. she got all upset and cried for hours about it..and i just had to sit there and watch. supposedly he called her later that night and appologized and said he'd never do it again and she forgave him (for about the millionth time). he said it wouldn't happen again. the next day he did the same exact thing and ditched her to go somewhere with a friend of his. and then later, he just calls her up and gives her the same bs about him being sorry. and if it's not that he's ditching her like this...he is being totally rude. just the other day he was saying something that offended her so she told him not to say that...and he made this big deal about her being way too sensitive and was a jerk about it. all she said was for him not to say that cuz she felt it was rude and all he'll say is "okay, drama queen!". every time they fight, that's all he says...he calls her a drama queen. even though she doesn't make that big a deal out of anything like he does. lately, i've just sat there and watched all this go down and bit my tongue...but last night, that changed. we were all hanging out at my place cuz of the holiday...and it was getting kinda late, we were all just sorta winding down. my sister decided that she wanted to play this video game that she's totally addicted to, and i usually sit there and watch her. so she told her guy that she was gunna go play and asked him to come watch her...and he just said no, that he didn't want to, and that it would be too boring. then he told her how gay it was that she was even interested in this game and just totally sat there calling her interests sucky basically when she will sit there and support any interest of his. and i called him on it...i told him that there have been plenty of times where she hasn't wanted to watch him do one of his hobbies, and that it wouldn't be that hard for him to sit there and watch. but that would have been too simple for him. he just got all mad and started arguing with me about how he just didnt "want to" or didn't "feel like" watching her play. i wont give the boring details, but he was being a jerk and she wasn't doing anything about it. so i stood up for her. so all he did was went into the other room, and she followed him. he apparently started complaining about me and how rude i am to him (keep in mind, this is the first time i've ever said anything to him abotu this). then he left and she walked him out. then she came back in to tell me how uncalled for that was. i told her that i wasn't going to sit there and let him be rude to her and have her not do anything about it. then her and i got into a big fight about it. it was all a disaster. i know i probably shouldn't have interfered...but i can not just sit there and do nothing!! i need help....what should i have done in that situation and what should i do about the future? i think she needs to get out of the relationship...but how can i tell her that?

i definitely agree with that! as for me, i'm just naturally attracted to lighter guys. but everyone has different tastes! just learn to be happy with who you are and then you'll never have to worry! best wishes

just explain to her, as nicely as possible, that you don't want her trying to contact you anymore. if she still tries contacting you- block her, delete her, or ignore her. its that simple!

i can see why this would hurt you, but just hang in there and be patient with him. it's probably just habit for him to say her name, and that habit would be especially hard to break if your names sound alike! i doubt that this has anything to do with whether or not he truly loves you. if he's with you, then you just have to trust that he does love you. i honestly don't think you need to doubt that. i'm sure he knows that this upsets you (who wouldn't feel a little hurt?), so just hang in there and be patient with him. in time, i'm sure the habit will be broken!

the fact that he didn't get you ANYTHING is pretty sad. i think you have a right to be upset about that. have you mentioned to him that this upset you? also, i would try talking to him again about how you are feeling. i, like you, need the romance aspect of a relationship. are you making sure that you're being as romantic with him as you'd like him to be with you? that may also be a factor. show him with your actions how you'd like to be treated. he just might come around. and if he doesn't...well, then you need to think about if that kind of relationship will work for you. best wishes!

don't even worry about having braces. i had mine on for three years, and i still had just as many guys then as i did when i got them off. i guarantee you, especially if you're in high school, there are plenty of others out there with braces so you aren't alone! and when you have a gorgeous smile, it'll be worth it! good luck!

just ask your boyfriend if he minds. if he doesn't, then great! no worries! if he does, is it worth staying with some guy who is bothered by such an unimportant thing? and if he's okay with it but it bothers you, talk to your dentist to see if there's anything you can do about it! good luck

don't get into cutting. it is indeed an addiction and once you start, you wont want to stop. i've been there, trust me. try to find other ways to let out your emotions..but don't do it with a knife.

i agree with the watch/bracelet idea. that always works. if it's small you could just put a bandaid over it

i don't think that's normal at all...i would stay far away!

thanks for all your help

i know i'm selfish and stubborn, and he is too. but i don't know how to change that. i guess that's more of what i need help on.

i wish i knew how to find the answer. but nothing ever makes sense to me, no matter how hard i think about it. i really truly love him...and even if we are different in a lot of ways, shouldn't love be able to conquer anything?

yeah, i do settle a lot i guess. it's just...breaking up for good is too hard. but staying together without fighting seems to be too hard too. so settling for the inbetween, even if i'm not totally happy, is the easiest option for me...

every time we sit down and try to work things out together...we never listen to eachother. and when we do, and we get stuff worked through, we just fall back into the same exact pattern again within a week. i dont know if its maybe deeper issues that we're just not getting to or what...but if there are deeper issues, we obvsiously cant figure them out.

honestly....i think we've maybe broken up 5 or 6 times. sometimes he breaks it off, sometimes i do. as it stands right now, we're currently broken up. i broke it off because of some things he had supposedly done with another girl which he hadn't denied. it turns out he didn't do anything with her, but the fact that he hid their relationship is what made me stick with the decision to just split up. i guess we do sort of use breaking up as a way of getting the other person to come back and submit... i never really thought of it like that before. but i'm just a stubborn person, and so is he...so when we fight, it gets pretty bad. thats why things happen like they do.

he doesn't cuss at me and call me names or anything like that, but he just uses the "f" word a lot, like yelling at me. and he knows it upsets me when he does it, thats what i dont understand. and he is the one who i would say fits under the category of #2 and #4, i'm the one who would fit under the controlling category.

i've watched how good boyfriends act. that's the difficult part. it's that 50% of the time he IS the perfect boyfriend. if we aren't fighting...he's really good to me. but when we're fighting...he cusses at me. he calls me names. that's why its so confusing. if we didn't fight so much...it wouldn't be that big of a deal. but we do fight a lot. i just dont know... oh, and for the article... we seem to fit into different aspects of all of those. mostly #2, #4, and #8

okay, i've been seeing this guy sorta off and on (mostly on) for about a year and a half. things started out pretty good...but lately we've just been fighting a lot and i just don't know what to do. i love him. i really do. but sometimes...it just gets confusing, because he says that he loves me, and even when we were "off" we never dated other people, but he often treats me badly and says mean things to me. we just cant seem to get along lately and i dunno what to do. i'm afraid maybe i should just move on and break it off...but i dont want to. i really dont. but staying in this relationship is hurting me too. what should i do? is love always this confusing?