hmm interesting idea.
Dear A,
You should really stop putting things off till the last minute. It's not a good idea and I know your afraid of not being perfect, but lets face it....you never where nor will you ever be perfect, no matter what others think. You shouldn't be so hard on yourself, failure won't kill you. Your allowed to fail at something and failing at one thing doesn't make you worthless so will you please stop thinkng that! It really doesn't help your self-esteem. Oh and you can just goof off every once in a while.
And another thing, I know you think most people aren't trustworthy, but not trusting anyone isn't helping you at all. I know you have had some pretty awful experiences with those who you thought you could trust, but that doesn't mean everyone is bad! Not everyone will hurt you like that. There must be some good people out there that you can trust. Opening up won't kill you, and even if you talk to someone who later hurts you, will it be worse then keeping everything inside and feeling like you do now for the rest of your life? I really don't think so. Stop being such a baby.
You really should get a life and have some fun. Don't be so afraid of everything and everyone. It's ok to have a relationship with someone and it's ok to laugh. Your nto a horrible person and you don't deserve to feel so bad all the time. You help others so why is it so difficult for you to help yourself for once? Think of yourself at least once a day....and eat a little more! Your too skinny....why aren't you eating more? One meal a day isn't good enough and don't think I don't know you sometimes skip all meals! I do and it's making me worried about you.