iwillsurvive

I agree , it is not uncommon, I used to cry like a baby when me and one of my exes used to have sex. I almost started crying the other day when I was having sex, I have no emotional connection to this person either, it's just a rush I guess..

Thanks for everyones input. I have to look out for myself first. So, that is on him if he has a problem w/ my safety. I initally thought he may have something to hide, just off of his behavior, but then again I may just be being paranoid. I will post a follow up in about a week or so and let everyone know what happened.

Ok, here is the deal. I met this guy a couple of weeks ago. Well one thing led to another, and we ended up having sex. It got pretty hot and heavy and some parts of the sex ended up being unprotected. (not good, and I know better, so I don't know why I let it happen) Anyway, I was talking to him a couple of days after it happened, and he was asking when we were going to go at it again ,, yada yada yada, ... Well I said since we are on the subject we really need to watch it in the future and make sure we are protected, because I don't know you, or who you have been with. I had not had sex since the last time I had an STD check, so I know I am clear. Well anyway, I was telling him this and was just saying how we needed to me more careful, and he was saying yea you are right, and agreed. He told me he was checked back in January, but he has had unprotected sex since. And I said ok, well I am just letting you know that I will probably be checked out within a week or 2. He said ok, and that maybe it was time for him to get re-checked 2. He had to get off of the phone, said he would call me back, and I have not heard from him since. I texted him yesterday, and he has not returned my text...My question is do you think I did something wrong by saying something about the Std check? Or do you think I said something 2 soon and scared him off ? Do you think I should have waited until after I got the results back ? I am pretty sure I did the right thing, just wanted some feedback. Maybe I am just being paranoid also

Good for you andrew05151, it is always nice when 2 people can come back to each other and be sincere,up front w/ there feelings, honest, no games,manipulative tactics, or any of the sort. Congrats, and I hope things work out for you.

This is a good post. I think you can be in love with two people. If you are the person who is doing the "waiting" I think NC is the best thing. It gives the person you love a chance to really think about what he or she wants without you in the picture. If it is meant to be it will be . Naturally,, not forced or coerced. If you do NC, then you can't be put in a position to be strung along, or have the person have there cake and eat it too. If you are always waiting on the sidelines, chances are they will never make a decision.

I couldn't have said it better myself.

You took the words out of my mouth 100% If someone is intentionally stringing me along, and they know nothing is going to come of it then I cannot respect that. Especially if they know how I feel about them

This is a good post. It shows how people want there cake and eat it too. I think you did the right thing. Sometimes it is hard to kick the ones we hold so close to us to the curb. But after the rain there is sunshine. (Although it sounds cliche, it is so true) I have been there alot, and although we get mad at our ex's for doing this to us, and using us, we are the ones who stand for it and let them do it. Not to be harsh, but I have been there 2. Congrats (HUGS)

I haven't posted here in awile but I just wanted to warn all NC'ers and LC'ers for that matter to beware when ex's re-appear and send STRONG messages that they may want to get back together. I was about a month into NC from my ex. We have been back and forth like a roller coaster for the past 7 years or so. I was really holding onto the NC thing, and was doing well for the first 30 days. Well I received a surprise on my b-day. It was the most beautiful roses I had ever seen and a card that read "Although times can change so many things, one thing is true, Time will never ever change the love I feel for you." Signed blank. (But I knew who it was) After getting something like that after NC for 30 days would make any dumpee melt... and make you think your ex wanted to get back together right ? WRONG Your heart starts thumping again, and you start longing for that special person again, and it gets you thinking of them. You may even think they want you back. WARNING: Don't jump to any conclusions until your ex point blank says that they want to get back together. I called my ex 2 thank him, and he did not answer any of my calls, just texted me no problem, and have a happy b-day sweetheart ](*,) So I left it alone and we started talking gradually little by little after that. Well about 1 month or so into it. I could not take it any longer, I was wondering why he was not talking about a relationship. I finally just asked him what was going on, and he uttered out "I am not 100% single. " I was thinking well what are you doing sending roses and such 2 me, Among other flirtations. I told him from that moment on we do not need to have any further contact from here on out, there is nothing to talk about, and he need not call or send me ANYTHING unless he has plans on getting back together. And the door is not going to be open forever. It was hard but Necessary. Don't be strung along, and keep your guard up. This goes to show that you must 1.) Wait on your ex to point blank say "I want to get back together, and 2.) Friends in most cases doesn't work out.

I am not sure if he is over you or not. I am sure he has not forgotten about you. I am sure he probably misses you just as you miss him. What does matter is how strong and independent you feel once again. Doesn't it feel great to start moving on after a breakup that you felt you could not move through. WOW ! Congrats. I love the feeling of moving on and getting exited again about the prospect of dating. I would just keep moving forward with your progress. Good Luck, Stay strong.

I have been the dumper before. And the dumpee.... ](*,) Sometimes as the dumper the dumpees bad behaviors (rude,abnoxious,inconsiderate,cheating,selfish,jealousy) all lead to the dumper being able to distance themselves and not want to be a part of such actions,even if they love and care about them. When I let go of my ex boyfriend, he had alot of the bad behaviors exibited above. I don't think he really saw (as crazy as it may sound) how nasty he was being to me. He did not seem to get the hint until I refused his calls, ignored him, and broke it off. I had to show him better than I could tell him. He responded to my actions better than my words. I still loved him, but I respected myself more, and knew in the long run that was not the relationship that I wanted for myself. Yes, I missed him, Yes, it was hard for me not to return his calls, and speak to him. But if you want someone to change you must love then enough to let them go. When and IF they show genuine signs of change you will know it and hopefully have not moved on to someone else. Sometimes we dumpers are hurt just as bad as the dumpees but have enough strength to let go for whatever reasons. It is easier to let go of someone too if you know you are not the one who screwed it up.

Yes, I think you can have a soulmate that is not sexual. I had a best friend once that I considered a soul mate. We were just like sisters. I felt I could tell her anything. As far as romantic soulmates, yes I definitely believe in those 2 .

Another reason would be missing out on other fun and interesting people to date. You may eventually start resenting your s/o because you feel they have denied you a chance to date others.

This is a good topic. I think some good qualities would be: sincerity ability to be faithful Someone who wants a family Respectfulness Thoughtfulness, ability to listen, Giving, and a host of others.