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yeah... seems like he just wants to keep you in a box for himself so to speak... he likes the idea that you feel bad, it makes him feel better.... if you don't put a stop to it he will bounce your feelings around every time he breaks up with a girl......

I mean what about this.. I am a very unique person... people say I frown all the time, I just do not make the connections that others do in their life........ Was it wise of me to get so serious about the girl who just happens to be the first girl who ever tried to get to know me, and is not afraid of me. Many people are afraid of me for some reason..... I am very intimidating I guess.........which is another reason why I am afraid of being alone. I don't know if I could even be with anyone after her.... I mean I never even went on a date until I met her. I love her so much, she is such a fun person, but I just notice how much she nags.........or does this happen no matter who your with at some point? I mean I end up feeling bad almost every time I see her now...what if we move into a place together and ends up me feeling bad every day for the rest of our lives because of cut downs and neglect?

.... maybe the fact that my fiancee and I were both each others first that is the problem..... I mean I wonder if she just is not as interested anymore..... I am just thinking really negative right now... I mean when I do see her I finally realize just how much you snaps at me... I don't think she even realizes it.... It is like every thing I do causes her to say something. We are both bull headed but man she never accepts that she could be wrong....... I could talk to her about it but, I already have brought it up and she is very bad at communicating with me.......she is cold shoulder wants to be alone type when she gets angry or upset and I am the type that wants to stay right by the person side and get things worked out... I don't like to go away mad or have her go away mad.............. I mean we are not compatable in some ways but in other we are great. ... we love watching movies, playing games, love classical music, art..... talking (when we can) going out to eat........great sex.....she has more then one climax every time we make love... which seems to be a rare thing from some of the post I have read.......of coarse when it is a week or more without sex she is bound to have the earth shaking down there, heh. Thats the other problems I love sex, I love kinky sex, I LOVE sex....... she does not seem to care as much about sex as I do... at one point we were having sex 2 to 3 times a day and then it just kind of dropped off to practically nothing.......... and I do not want her just for sex... I know some people will say that, but if that was the case I would have left along time ago......... I mean I have the reasons to think about leaving, I have so much more to stay ..........is it wrong for me to make friends that happen to be female? Is it wrong for me to get close, not sexually, to other women .......?

well... I mean I would not do anything while in the relationship I am in now. I guess I would just like to get to know some girls just incase my current relationship does end. As of now I don't really know to many people where we live. And I have not waited out this whole time... trust me I tried to tell her how I feel I told her that I thought that maybe her college activity was causing a wedge between us, she took that as an attack, as if I did not want her to do anything other then with me which is not true. I just want to see her more but it never seems to happen. Next year will be worse because not only will I not be on campus anymore but she is going to be just as involved in her groups as she was this year... unless we do move into an apartment together I fear it will end... I can't very well live 40 or so miles away and expect to see her much if I have been living a few blocks away now and hardly see her... know what I mean. ....I mean I even took our ring back at one point because I was tired of her always being with her friends and never having time with me and one day she happened to slam the phone down after a little verbal fight and that was the straw on the camels back....we have worked things out since then, and things have got a little better... but I dont want to go through another year like I did this year...... I wonder if I am being used sometimes because I have helped her alot with work... of coarse she has helped me alot as well.... and we have talked about the future, about kids... we even have names for kids.. but it just seems to be going dead....... she has been depressed lately because of all her classes........ I would hate to mess up being with the girl of my dreams but everyone tells me that there are many women a guy could end up with... she sure does seem like the "one" though.... but I guess every girl is the "one" if your with them long enough or love them enough......damn this sucks

First off you should use a condom unless you two have been together for a year or two and know that he is not just wanting sex. I mean if you think you might have a future together and your on the pill I see no reason to use a condom. I have used the pull out method with my woman since we started having sex and I have not went in her yet... of coarse you can get pregnant from pre-cum... this is why you should make sure to take your pill. It should be both your reponsibility to make sure you take your pill. I do not agree with your guy wearing a condom just so he last longer... he needs to learn the tricks to stamina as much as you need to learn to go. I don't think you should be having sex anyways.... not because of your age... but because high school was is hard enough without having baby scares or a guy breaking your heart.

I am kind of in your boat or maybe her boat in a way..... I have been with a girl for almost 4 1/2 years now... I love her, she loves me, but this year really killed/soared our relationship... I feel neglected. We are both in college and she has been busy with her college groups and a hard school work schedule... the thing is that half the time she could be spending time with me because she is doing nothing more then watching tv with her girl friends or something like that. It is hard from going from seeing the girl of your dreams every day to only a few hours a day... and I am not a clingy person... it kind of ruined things. I feel that I do not have the connection that I did. Maybe living together as we plan to do this year will make things a little more like they were.... but I am starting to check out the other girls around me, one or two have caught my eye. I know it is crazy to throw 4 1/2 years away... but one girl has me feeling the same butter flies that I felt when I first met my fiancee.... My fiancee was my first real partner... I was hers........we have something rare in that we had never been with anyone other than ourselves and we are in our early 20's........but that alone is not enough to stay together if for whatever reason she does not like me anymore. I mean when we are together she nags........we are kind of like the odd couple in the way that we get things done and the way that we keep house......heh........ I throw dirty cloths in the corner she places them nice in a basket.....just things like that. And we get in a lot of stupid fights over things....... I mean I would be totally destroyed to loose her... but I am starting to wonder if it is not meant to last... like maybe we are just keeping it going because we do not want to be like the other people we know. Our virginity was very important to both of us........ I am sorry I am being selfish. I don't know what to tell you about your situation. Because your wife might feel the way I do.... I mean she probably does love you but maybe something has been missing. I mean is it possible that say you have not been spending as much time together that perhaps she has fell out of love? If you have any advice for me please give it...........you and I are both lost!

I have a big problem. I have been engaged for about 4 1/2 years now, this last year or so has been very hard because my woman is so busy with her college life. I am in college as well but not as busy as her. We went from being with each other every day to hardly seeing each other more then 2 hours a day. She still very much loves me, she is just busy, she wants to get an apartment and marriage will come as soon as we both are done with school and have jobs. We are both each other first real relationship, we were both virgins, so we are very close. We are like best friends. The problem is that when she is with me any more it seems we just fight over stupid stuff. She will yell at me about leaving a empty can on the table or the fact that I always look for the easy way out, or half butt fix to the things I face in life. She on the other hand is very much a perfectionist.. I guess I never realized how much she nags at me until we had this time apart. We really wanted to make this work because we were each others first and we are/were very shy. The nagging and the lack of time together and the lack the sex life we once had (sex is important in a relationship, that is not all I was after, so do not think that) has all added up to work against us.... my eyes are starting to wander and I am starting to wonder if I should think of moving on. I don't want to be with her for another year if I can hardly ever see her because she is busy I don't think I could take another year of nagging. Maybe things would be better if we do move in together. I know that after this next year everything will be ok but at the same time there is a girl or two on campus that I think I could really hit it off with if I just made my move. One girl is really cool, she kind of has my personality, she is a bit crazy and I don't think she has been seeing anyone since she came to this college. I don't know what to do. At first I was upset, I cried at the thought of loosing the woman I am with right now. If there is a chance I will loose her any ways maybe I should just get out now... or maybe I should wait until we are living together to see how we work. Ok you know that feeling you get when your with the one you love and you feel like nothing can stop you and that person is you... your one.... well I just don't feel that strong anymore because of this year. It is not my fault either, I wanted more then anything to spend as much time as I could with her, but she wanted a busy life I guess. At the same time I don't think I should throw it all away over a girl who I don't even know if she is with someone or if she is even interested in me, I just know one her girl friends a bit. I am hoping to get to know the girl I am interested in more through her friend. I mean I would consider seeing this other girl right now if I knew she was interested but I don't want to dump my fiancee and then be left with no one. After being in a relationship I don't think I could be happy alone. I could just be so alone that I wanting to reach out to the first person I think I could connect with... I just do not want to end up being dumped, I would rather dump first and find a girl that is much like me. My biggest fear is waiting for my babe to get out of college next year just to find out that she really does not want to be with me... or has found another guy.....I would be destroyed.............. or should I just keep the thought of this other girl in my pocket and if I ever do get dumped or if my relationship ever does fall apart I know someone I can ask out for a beer, the other girl that is......... I think I might just be afraid of being left alone. Please give me any advice you have... especially if you have had a problem like this.

well lets say you have just been friends... not even close friends.... you say hi to each other and thats about it... if you just go up to her one day and give her this love poem and spending your life with her and the whole 9 yards she may be seriously freaked. How would you feel if a girl came up and did such a thing? I mean yeah you might like it, but you might be like what the hell is wrong with her. YOu just need to slide in easy.... ask her out to a movie or something.... save the poems for a lil later. Be careful not to become to much of a friend to her... there is a point where you will be nothing more then a friend.

man.... might as well get used to the friends... I still have not got used to my fiancee friends........it can be very tricky dealing with a girl and her friends.. the friends will remember eveything you say and do.....most college girls are very bad at wanting their friends to be as crappy as they are so if they don't have a guy they will be damned if their friend has one. Know what I mean.... I would try to get her alone... or hit on the friends first and work your way to her.

how much do you know this girl? I mean if you are not already going out and very stead the whole "I want to be with you forever" type of thing might scare her off... I almost had that happen with my fiancee........you don't want to rush things to early....... the she is the one thing is sweet but it can also scare the hell out of some girls.

well.... I hate to say this but your being used as a nice moist door mat.... he is a player, and he knows that he will always have a love box to fall into as long as you are there. If he has did it more then once he will not stop. Some people just want sex, they were not meant to be with one person I guess.... at least not until they grow out of it. If he loves you and love being in you perhaps you should just close shop for a while if you know what I mean. Let him know that he can't go out and get some and expect to get any from you. This could back fire though, he could then just start going out more but if he does it proves he is no good. When do you plan on getting married? I bet if you actually made a date that you wanted he would back out of it.... either that you just going to have to allow him to have his fun and you have yours....

Why don't you join them? I have often wondered what it would be like to have sex with both my fiancee and her roomie. Her roomie has been having alot of sex dreams where basically every guy she knows has been with her. I think she is a virgin... 22...wants sex real bad type of thing. Have you ever wanted to be with a woman? or see your guy having sex? It might just be best to join them unless your dead set against it. I have heard that it can destroy a relationship... I have also heard that it is good, IF those involved know that it is just fun and pleasure.

Don't any of you have any advice?

it is also funny because the guy that I think she may have messed around with who is bi....fell on her at a party that I was not at and broke her toe...they were on a couch or something..... odd.....and then she had a picture of him with his arm around her...another girl was under his other arm, but why would she have a picture of him on the desk and mine has not been on her desk in a while, now no pictures on on her desk....heh... The other problem I have.....this is the first girl I have been with, but since we have not hardly had any sex recently you would think she would go back to being tighter but she hasnt really. we were both virgins our first time so I know how she grew with me. I read that if a girl does not have sex for like 4 months she practically goes back to being a virgin, we have had sex maybe 3 times in the last few months....I just have a feeling something is going on. Her sex drive should not be slowing down at her age. I guess that we make love at all is a good sign though, I mean if she liked another guy you would think she would not make love to me at all..........damn I hate this.

she is 22 I am 23. I guess your right I should just talk to her but not accuse her of anything. If she does want it over with and is just not able to say so if I ask her point blank why we have not been doing much maybe she will come finally let it out of the bag. We have talked about living together, marriage, having kids, we even have a name picked out for our future daughter...of coarse when I ask her when we will get married she just says someday...I like to know have a plan that is just how I am..... independent is one thing....leaving someone behind after spending almost every day with them is another. I made the mistake of giving up my social life for her... at the time it seemed like a good idea because we had so much fun being together by ourselves but now I have no one to go to when I am bored or to talk to when I am upset. I mean what about the forgetting that a party was member guest so I could have went, and then telling me the next day that I could have instead of getting me that night? Isnt that a little funny?

You just need to understand that we had spent every day with each other until she joined the group.......and then it slowly turned to a day or two a week and now the only time I see her is during the day, like we will go to lunch together, or we will go out to eat someplace for dinner. Or if one of us needs to go to the store or something. Outside of that it is as if we are just friends, most the times she does come over to actually visit we end up having sex, but afterwards maybe 20 minutes later she goes back to her room. She has not stayed in my dorm the whole year and she used to say in my room almost every other night, and especially after we had sex. I just do not know what to do. She was always such a good person, I can't see her turning out to bad. I mean everyone that knows her comments on how sweet and honest she is.

I have been with this girl for a little over 3 years now. Everything was perfect the first 2 1/2 years but this last year has been really hard. She has been very busy, president of the college group she belongs to. It seems like she hardly ever has time to be with me due to homework or the group she belongs to, or because she is just really tired. The thing that bothers me is that most of the time when she says she is going to study or going to sleep it turns out that she stayed up until 4 in the morning watching tv by herself or with friends. If she decided to stay up after I had called her wanting to know if she wanted to spend some time with each other why does she not bother to call me when she knows that I am a night owl? There has been other things too. Like every since she joined this group on she is apart of she has started to go to parties and stuff. There was several times last year or maybe it was last semester where there would be a party and I would ask to go and she would say that it was not an open or member guest part... just for members. Those nights she would sometimes come to my room after but most often she would claim that she was going to sleep. She would tell me the next day that it turned out it was member quest. NOw I know their phone does not work, but don't you think she could have used a cell phone or just came and got me, we go to a small campus. The other day I got really mad because she hung the phone up on me, so I went to her dorm all pist with all this frustration in side of me and I demanded my ring back I then cried for like 3 hours straight because I had not had her ring but 10 minutes and I was already asking her to take it back. She would not. So I went and got flowers and waited for her meeting with the group to get over with so I oculd give her the flowers she was smiling before she even saw the flowers and it was like everything was ok, she even took my ring back and when I asked her if we are still going to get married she said yes. She has been on a trip for choir this weekend, it was a real trip not something made up just incase you were thinking, so it will be interesting to see how she reacts. I don't know if time really has been the issue this year or if something is going on. We went from having sex like 2 or 3 times every other night, to maybe 1 or 2 times a week and now I am lucky to get any 1 or 2 in a month.... I just do not know what to do or what to think. Why would she take my ring back if she was really wanting to dump me all along, I mean I gave her the prefect oppertunity to do so and I would been the bad guy not her. Do you think that maybe she has had a fling with one of the guys in her group, it is coed. The prob with that is all the straight guys have fiancee's and the other guys are bi. I do know that she got a picture with one of the bi guys and another girl he had his arms around both of them but she took it down after I questioned it. This guy has also went on a trip to france to study and since then she is back to asking me to parties like she used to. Should I confront her again about all this. I found some ways to use psychology on her. Like if she looks to the left before answering that means she is making something up because she is using the left side of her brain which is the creative side..............