Paula Thompson

My wife and I have been married for almost a year now; however, we have not yet received an acknowledgement or congratulations from my sister-in-law. Whenever I ask my wife if she has heard from her, the response is evasive and noncommittal. I know that my sister-in-law has had a rough life, having come from a broken home with parents who could never stay together. Our marriage seems to have made her feel threatened as if it were a reminder of what she didn't have and will likely never have. I also know that there was some tension between our families since before my wife and I ever met. This complicated backdrop makes our situation difficult, so when I confront my sister-in-law about the lack of acknowledgement for our marriage, there is always tension and unease. I attempt to approach the issue from a place of love, understanding, and compassion but usually just end up feeling frustrated. My wife is more patient and loving in her discussions with her sister, typically trying to remain calm and sensitive to her emotions, though even she can feel the unspoken disapproval emanating from her sister. As a newlywed, I find myself uncertain and confused in attempting to negotiate this delicate game of familial diplomacy. On the one hand, I want to give her space and time to process her own emotions so that she will eventually reach a place of acceptance and even joy over our marriage. On the other hand, I worry that we may have been shut out of her life forever despite our best efforts. My anxiety has grown every day since I sent the wedding invitation, and now I'm at a loss. How do I prove with sheer persistence and unconditional love that my marriage to my wife isn't something to be feared but celebrated? Many emotions come to mind, heartbroken feelings of confusion yet an epic feeling of determination, I know what I need to do but the right words to say seem so terribly far away. We try our best to bridge the gap by speaking in sentences of care, yet each time we do, it doesn’t relent her fixed and unfeeling stare. With a heavy heart, I hope that eventually, my sister-in-law will be able to come to terms with our marriage and accept us into her life with an open heart and mind. Until then, my wife and I will continue to respect my sister-in-law’s feelings and support her in any way that we can.

It is a difficult situation when the stay-at-home man’s wife says “I just want some time in my home undisturbed”. Home should be a place of comfort, safety and nurturing for couples and families, and it can be devastating for a partner when their companion does not feel these feelings at home. It can be hard for a stay-at-home man to know exactly what to do when their partner isn’t feeling comfortable or secure at home. In order to try to understand the cause of the discomfort, start by asking your partner questions to determine what is causing them stress. Finding out the details of why they may want some time alone could point to areas that need to be addressed. Is your partner needing more freedom in the relationship? Are there unresolved disagreements that are causing tension? Are they feeling smothered by too much time with you? Are there external pressures that have been weighing on them? Taking the time to have an honest dialogue with your partner is essential in uncovering the cause. Once the source of tension has been determined, then there are a few solutions that can help provide relief. The first one is simply living in harmony. When the underlying issue is lack of free-will in the relationship or having a disliking of being scrutinized, the goal is to offer reassurance to your partner and allow them to develop trust. Offer respect, reinforce your admiration and support, and give unconditional love. Remember that being overly controlling can be stifling to a person’s spirit and will diminish any mutual understanding or openness between you. The second solution is attempting activities as a couple that promote balance in the relationship. Engage in shared interests like attending classes, going to sporting events, or pursuing a hobby together. Spending quality time together will strengthen your bond and reestablish trust. Going out in nature and having conversations away from the hustle and bustle of daily life will help foster intimacy. A third potential solution is seeking outside help if needed. If your partner does not feel supported in their home life, counseling can provide them with the tools to overcome emotional obstacles. When a partner feels disconnected from their spouse, talking to a neutral third party who is trained to listen and guide can be worthwhile. It is important to remember that each couple is unique and that there is no single approach to resolving issues. That said, we all want to show love and support to our partners, and by doing so, create a truly supportive home environment.

No one dreams of feeling regret, yet sometimes life reveals its cruel truth in the harshest of moments. Once that truth is felt, it may remain with a person for years. I experienced that feeling of intense regret after becoming a parent, feeling as though a huge mistake had been made. Perhaps I was wrong. My daughter changed my life from her very first breath, yet instead of feeling joy and satisfaction I felt numb as if I hadn’t even become a parent. Every morning is different, and yet I feel the same level of detachment as when I held my daughter in my arms for the first time. My days are full of pillow soft holding and silent tears, every second stretched to capacity as I attempt to fill the void in my heart left by my daughter’s presence. Her sweet smelling skin reminds me of home and not just the physical home she wakes up in each morning. When I think back to the day she was born I feel like I tunneled deeper and deeper into an abyss. No matter what I thought before that day, parenthood wasn't what I envisioned and it certainly wasn’t what I wanted. I loved her more than anything, but to raise her I felt like I would need to give up too much freedom and this presented an insurmountable challenge. But as we all know, love does not always win and I found myself in a place of sorrow and regret. Looking back now, after knowing my daughter for years, I am awestruck by how drastically my feelings have changed towards her. My arms now feel lighter with her in them, despite the fact that she is heavier than the day she was born. With the passing of days, I find myself drawn closer to her as if our smiles were intricately intertwined. Although I still feel the same level of remorse and regret in my heart, my daughter’s happiness provides a balance. Even so, I can never seem to shake the feeling of emptiness that was sown the day she was born. Overwhelmed with guilt and sadness due to my neglectful thoughts toward my daughter, I eventually learned to accept myself for the mother I was instead of berating for the mother I wasn’t. This has allowed me to overcome my internal struggle and instead focus on the positive aspects of parenting which give a greater reward than any other feeling in the world. The mistakes I have made have enlightened me in countless ways, teaching me a greater appreciation for life and the incredible bond between parents and children. Those tender moments spent with my daughter, birthed in what felt like a moment of grave regret, have opened my eyes to the vibrant shades of parenting. Being a parent has taught me to live beyond my doubt, unlocking the true potential of my emotions while embracing the obstacles of motherhood head on. Although the regret remains an ever-presence, I now understand that it's a necessary part of learning how to be a great parent, something that I strive for every day.

There’s a certain allure in an illicit relationship, something that’s impossible to ignore when you’re drawn to someone outside of your marriage. But it doesn’t come without a crisis of conscience. You may feel like you're walking a tightrope as you try to juggle the two worlds and keep yourself from falling into a pit of guilt and regret. After all, when you're cheating on your spouse, are you really being unfaithful? The issue can be a complicated one. Although many people look at infidelity as a universal black and white issue – either you’re faithful, or you’re not – this doesn’t account for the myriad of shades of gray involved in balancing between the two. When it comes to your relationship, it’s essential to understand the implications of why you’re dating outside of your marriage and what it means for the future of your bond, both with your spouse and the person with whom you’re cheating. It’s important to recognize the reasons why you first decided to cheat on your partner. Many times, people find themselves in relationships where the love has become stagnant, or worse, one-sided. You may have felt like you had grown so far apart emotionally that your deep connection had been lost forever. The temptation to reach out to someone else who could ignite the passion and connection you longed for became too much. You may view the person you've cheated with as a way to reclaim the spark in your life and fill the void that your marriage left behind. At the same time, it’s essential to remember your responsibilities to your spouse and to keep their feelings in the forefront of your mind at all times. Even if you don’t necessarily feel like you’re acting disloyal to your partner, your relationship with this other person could still cause a great deal of hurt to someone you care about. That’s why it’s crucial to consider the consequences before deciding to take such a risk. No matter how you look at it, making the choice to date outside of your marriage will never be easy. It can take courage to admit that you may want something different, and it's only natural to want to protect yourself and your spouse from any further harm. This can be especially difficult when it comes to emotions like guilt or shame, which are often the defining forces in any affair. But, if you can recognize these feelings, then you can make an effort to seek out solutions that will bring closure, peace, and understanding to your situation. Only you can decide if it’s better to continue your illicit relationship or attempt to reignite the flame within your marriage. Either way, it’s essential to weigh the options before diving in headfirst. Consider the importance of loyalty and the potential drama and heartbreak that may come with continued infidelity. choose whatever is best for you and those involved in this tangled web of romance.

Carried from one shore to another, twisted in tangles and entwined around the seaweed, plastic litters our oceans, beaches, and wildlife. From grocery bags to soft-drink bottles, plastic has become a convenience for us as individuals, but at what cost? It’s not just the visual impact of pollution that’s the issue, but the effect plastic has on animal and human health as well. Taking small steps to reduce the amount of plastic we come into contact with is essential in combatting the issue, however, learning how to politely and proactively refuse plastic can be difficult. Rather than being complacent in using plastic, our attitude should move towards respectful denial when it’s offered. Whether in day-to-day life or while grocery shopping, there are numerous opportunities to practice plastic avoidance without being impolite. The best rule of thumb is to remember that every single decision matters, particularly when speaking with those who still willingly use plastic. Create a Conversation When attempting to politely refuse plastic, creating and promoting an internal conversation is a great initiation step. Seeking to understand both why plastic is so appealing and why the world is trying to reduce its usage can help break the ice and open people up to talking about why plastic pollution is important. Not only does this elevate newsworthiness, but it also helps create emotional connections that form engagement and advocacy. In addition, getting a conversation going is a non-confrontational strategy that still actively brings changes to people's lives. Enlist Allies Offering assistance to encourage others to make changes to their lifestyle is an effective way of bringing positive change. Signing petitions, joining virtual marches, and taking part in community efforts are all ways of demonstrating action. Reaching out to family and friends who you know have similar environmental viewpoints is also a great way of lending a hand. Friendships should never contain pressure, but instead should help provide support and assurance. Educate Yourself Finally, staying informed on the issues surrounding plastic usage is critical in achieving understanding. Taking the time to research and understand the issue is essential in feeling empowered enough to make a stance. Alternatively, signing up to receive emails from anti-plastic organizations can make the process even easier. Making a commitment to maintain current knowledge on the situation puts you at an advantage when it comes to advocating for plastic reduction amongst your family and friends. When it comes to plastic usage, we often take it for granted. However, learning how to politely decline plastics offers us an opportunity to make an example for others and create a safer and cleaner environment for generations to come. Drawing attention to the severity of the situation offers an opportunity for thinking beyond a short-term solution, and creating real, lasting change.

It happens to the best of us: the moment of weakness that quickly spirals out of control. In relationships, everyone makes mistakes. You can’t undo the past, but you can take responsibility and move forward. For some, an act of infidelity can tear down the life they have built together. When this happens, and you find yourself face-to-face with the consequences, it won’t be easy hearing— let alone confessing— the truth. The feeling of guilt can be overwhelming. It’s understandable to feel like you have failed each other, but if you are both willing to work through the process, your relationship can be made stronger than before. If you have gone down a path you regret, consider the following steps as a journey of redemption. To start, it is important to examine your current level of vulnerability and trust. Are you able to share your true emotions? Does your partner truly understand your thoughts and feelings? Understanding the level of trust within your relationship will give you clarity on how to approach the situation. Next, it is crucial that you give yourself some time for introspection. Take moments for self-reflection and think about how this mistake best reflects your values. Consider writing down and evaluating your thoughts. Chances are that opening a dialogue will help you understand yourself better. When you feel you are ready, look for the right timing and environment to sit down and have the conversation with your partner. The most important aspect here is to make sure that you express genuine remorse and explain your motivations for cheating. Make sure you open up and talk about your feelings—this is the foundation of a successful conversation. Admitting the truth can be hard, but ultimately it’s the best route to rebuilding the lost trust. Once you have confessed and addressed the issue, try to set aside time every day to build back the trust in your relationship. A good first step here is going to counseling and/or taking part in couples activities with your partner such as going on vacation or making dinner together. Acknowledge the fact that a positive attitude and strong communication are critical during this stage and lead by example in creating a safe and supportive atmosphere for two. Keep up the momentum and keep looking for ways to demonstrate your commitment. No matter what happened in the past, there is no need to give up on the relationship. While being honest with your partner should always be your priority, it is important not to dwell in the past. Let go of the guilt, forgive yourself and start to build a healthier, more open, and trusting connection with your partner. Don't let one mistake define your relationship forever. Facing the truth, understanding each other's feelings, and practicing active communication are the three key elements in finding the way back to a strong, lasting relationship. It’s not easy to admit the hard truth and confront the consequences, but it's the only way to rebuild the bridge you both have worked so hard to construct.

The end of a marriage can be a difficult time for all parties involved, but the effects may be more far-reaching than what meets the eye. Even though a union is dissolving and two lives are separating, the impact left behind can be felt for months and years to come. The emotional and psychological scars of a divorce can linger long after the splitting up itself has stopped, leading to strange or sometimes destructive behavior. When faced with such circumstances, it’s important to consider: is this person behaving this way because of their recent divorce? The answer to this question is rarely black and white. There is no formula or sign that can guarantee if a person’s actions are the result of a divorce. In the majority of cases, a variety of contributing factors could be at play. Despite this, it can still be beneficial to try and assess how the ending of a relationship is affecting someone. It’s also crucial to provide support and understanding during these tumultuous times, as navigating a divorce on its own can be an incredibly isolating experience. The first step in discerning whether a person’s behavior is caused by a divorce is to simply ask. While this doesn’t always guarantee a truthful or even coherent answer, it's still the best starting point. It is also important to look out for any red flags or warning signs. These can vary between individuals but may include a sudden change in mood or attitude, disruption in their everyday routine, or a disinterest in their usual activities or hobbies. It’s essential that people facing these situations are not treated like they are crazy or unstable just because they’re acting differently. Break-ups can often lead to depression, denial, and anger that may manifest in numerous ways, so it is paramount to be accepting and patient when addressing them. In addition, it is helpful to look for patterns in behavior. Are there any other relationships undergoing strain, do they appear fatigued much of the time, or regressing into unhealthy habits? A divorce can take a heavy toll upon one’s mind and body, so it’s important to be mindful of any concerning habits that may start to burgeon. Everyone grieves in different ways and will show signs of distress regardless if the split was wanted or not. When helping someone through a divorce, it’s important to remember that everyone moves at their own pace. Some may be able to get through the rough terrain much quicker than others, while some may find themselves stuck in a cycle of grief, apparent to no end. Patience is key throughout all of this, and those struggling should keep in mind that the healing process looks different for each person. Divorces can linger like a fog around those involved, often with unseen psychological effects in tow. It’s necessary to be aware of the possibilities, and to offer assistance and solace whenever possible. Nobody should have to weather the storm alone. Furthermore, those seeking to determine if a divorce is having an effect on someone’s demeanor should be prepared to ask hard questions, observe closely, and exercise patience throughout the procedure. The answer may not always be simple or straightforward, but an understanding and willingness to talk can go a long way.

Why being dumped was harder than breaking up Dating can be an incredibly difficult experience. Whether it’s from the fear of commitment or loneliness, relationships can often come and go without much warning. But when it comes to seeking closure or finding a sense of acceptance, nothing can prepare a person for the feelings that are elicited by being on the “breaking up” side of things. Weighing even heavier than being on the receiving end of a love tap out is the excruciating nature of facing the idea that someone you care about isn’t interested in continuing the give-and-take of a successful bond. It’s a crushing reality that I never wanted to explore in my life, but unfortunately it landed on my doorstep one too many times. It would be lethal to not at least acknowledge the pain felt by being told your partner doesn’t or won’t want to try any harder to work it out. But I believe the death knell of a relationship is more of a numbness to the answers that are revealed. Crashing like a wave against an unguarded shore, you find yourself contending with an argument that once meant everything, and now in its emptiness, it shows its true insignificance. It’s hard to admit that the beautiful idea of spending a lifetime together will no longer be possible because someone else has put a stop to that dream. The loneliness that follows is indescribable, as every emotion seems lost in a fog – at once dull and piercing. You start searching for what went wrong and find yourself playing detective in trying to guess why they don’t feel the same way anymore. Nostalgia clouds even the best of memories and makes them appear unrecognizable. Convincing yourself that things could still be ok is like trying to sit back down in a seat you left hours ago and expect to find the same comfort as before. Breaking up with someone takes strength and bravery, traits I’m sure many of us possess but don’t actively utilize in this situation. Finding courage and reassurance comes from within, and when dealing with the pain of a broken heart that source of courage runs out quickly. Letting go of people and situations can often times be a bigger challenge than it’s given credit for. Struggling to accept the fact that this is the final goodbye is enough to make anyone question their faith or will. Despite all the turmoil that ensues after a break-up, I believe it’s easier than being on the opposite end of the spectrum. There is something about being accepted and loved that can never be replaced, and sometimes it’s worth holding out for the opportunity to show someone how good it feels to give. Breaking up with someone is always hard, and to me, it was always more painful to be broken up with.Although only through my own experiences and regrets, I learnt the power of understanding and compassion eventually revealed itself in the healing and help set my feet on a new path.

We all have insecurities and imperfections, but unless we’re actively aware of how we are treating ourselves, our loved ones, and our community, we’ll start to exhibit unkind behaviors that can cause more harm than good. While these tendancies may manifest in a variety of ways, there are tell-tale signs that you’re slowly turning into an unkind person. One of the most common ways these tendencies show up is through passive aggression. If you find yourself speaking with subtlety instead of directness, engaging in sarcasm, or resorting to spiteful behavior, then you might be sending red flags that your being unkind. Avoiding confrontation is also a sign of unkind behavior, as it suggests that you are privileging your own feelings over those of others. It’s important to proactively engage with people through communication and acknowledge how your actions and words are affecting the conversation. Another common indicator of unkindness is pettiness. A mean person is usually marked by repeated outbursts about minor topics, unnecessary nit-picking, and a focus on turning small problems into much larger issues. The type of person who exudes unkind behavior thrives on creating conflict and will often make pointed comments in order to bring attention to their own sense of superiority. It’s important to not succumb to this kind of behavior and re-frame conversations in a way that emphasizes understanding and thoughtfulness towards others. Self-deprecation (whether or not it is exaggerated) is yet another red flag to consider. When we spend time constantly belittling ourselves, we tend to project these feelings onto others. We might think that our self-deprecation is in line with some altruistic goal, like bringing other people down to make us feel better, but ultimately it just breeds resentment and animosity within ourselves and those around us. It’s far healthier to work towards internal self-care and setting healthy boundaries. Finally, if your behavior is guided by a need to control your closest relationships, then you are likely harboring unkind behavior towards yourself and others. Most commonly seen in romantic partnerships, trying to control someone’s life indicates that you have put your own opinion and satisfaction above the needs of others. If you think you are engaging in this type of behavior, the best way to rectify the situation is to open yourself up to an honest dialogue with the person in question. Communication, understanding, and respect are key to moving forward. It can be difficult to reflect on one's own behavior - and it's even harder to admit if you are becoming an unkind person. That said, recognizing these remarkable red flags is the first step to opening your heart and being kind to yourself and others.

It is no secret that all of us care deeply about the health, safety and well-being of our neighbors and children around us. Unfortunately, sometimes we see signs or behaviors in those around us that suggest they may not be taking the best care of their children. In these cases, it can be difficult to know the right thing to do. When a person has cause to believe their neighbors are neglecting their underage child, oftentimes they feel concerned, helpless and unsure of how best to proceed. It is important to remember that intervening in someone else’s family situation can be delicate and requires great care. The first thing to ask yourself if you are considering intervening is this: Do I have any concrete proof that something is truly wrong? Have I seen enough evidence to conclude with a reasonable degree of certainty that a child is at risk? Depending on the gravity of the issue, we may find ourselves faced with a moral obligation to act on our suspicion. If a person concludes that a child is being neglected and wants to take action, child protective services should be contacted to investigate. It is very important to understand that calling the authorities is only the first step in helping a neglected child and the process of intervention can be quite long, depending on the specific case. In addition to contacting the authorities, another direct action one could take is to start having conversations with their neighbors, so that they are aware of your concern. Approaching them openly and expressing your feelings in a non-confrontational manner can help bridge the gap between your worries and their needs. Broaching the conversation can be difficult and reactions can be unpredictable, but being honest and supportive of the family may encourage them to talk openly about the situation. A third option would be to provide the neighbors with resources that may help the family. Pointing them to relevant support groups, organizations and services can show that there is help available and can be a way to gently suggest that perhaps that help is needed. Finally, if a person feels like they cannot manage the stress of such a delicate matter, or if they need extra support, counseling can be a great alternative. Finding professional help to talk about the different strategies that can be pursued can assist in making sure the process of intervening is safely done. No one wants to jump into other people’s affairs, but when a neighbor’s child is being neglected, it is important that we respond appropriately. Awareness of the different tools and strategies available to intervene can help us approach the situation thoughtfully and with empathy. Through support and the utilization of resources, we can all make sure that young lives receive the protection they deserve.

Marriage is a sacred vow one takes to remain devoted to and cherish their partner for the rest of their lives. Sadly, not all marriages are so blissful – some can fall prey to infidelity, whether that be physical or emotional. The term “adultery of the heart” is a new phenomenon, in which partners come to feel emotionally distant and begin to become attached to someone else who isn’t their spouse. This type of infidelity may, in fact, hurt just as much as physical cheating and can have devastating effects on individuals and families alike. In order to keep a spark alive in any marriage, it is important to be able to talk openly with your partner about your desires and expectations. Communication is key when it comes to maintaining a healthy and fulfilling relationship. Oftentimes couples misconstrue communication, however, and will find themselves focusing more on how their spouse has wronged them rather than effectively communicating their feelings and needs. This can unintentionally create an atmosphere of distrust and doubt in the marriage, leading the way for one partner to become interested in someone else. Another thing to keep in mind is to not let the mundane tasks of marriage take precedence over the romance. To ensure a lasting spark, partners must make time for each other to reminisce on the fond memories shared; or look forward to planning new adventures to invigorate the bond between them. Both making memories, and having something to look forward to, are essential ingredients to confidence that both partners are satisfied in the relationship. Further, it is important to focus on investing in your own marriage while remaining aware of unhealthy boundaries that may arise if relating too closely with someone outside the relationship. If a person suspects betrayal of the heart, it is important that they speak up in order to address the matter immediately. Ignoring any form of infidelity only leads to lessened trust within the marriage and further divides the two partners. Setting clear expectations and boundaries from the beginning of a partnership ensures vulnerableness, trust, security, and loyalty. As partners, having open dialogue allows them to coach each other on how to best avoid temptations of the heart and make sure they are giving each other the attention they need. Throughout the marriage, this practice should be kept in order to ensure that any issues are addressed quickly before they snowball into bigger marital problems. Although at times, difficult to prevent or remedy, recognizing signs of adultery of the heart and understanding how to maintain balance in a marriage is critical for having a successful union. Being mindful of where your priorities stand throughout the marriage – including creating space to develop alone ideas, passions, and feelings - are the most paramount items to think about. Taking time for yourself, as well as with your partner, helps keep both people from developing feelings for anyone else. Remember, the best way to avoid "adultery of the heart" is to keep your marriage a priirity and focus on building a strong and trusting relationship through communication and activities that promote togetherness and satisfaction.

No one likes to think about it, but now and then, the person you’ve been chatting with on a dating website may not be who they say they are. Is it possible to develop real feelings for someone online? Sure—it happens all the time. But what’s a person to do when things take an unexpected turn? The reality is that even though many people are turning to online dating as a way to bridge the gap between two people, sometimes it can be difficult to know who you’re talking to. Unfortunately, this means your cyber mate might not be trustworthy. Even if you think things are going great, it’s important to remember that the goal of online dating isn’t to get married—it’s to meet new people and build relationships. If someone you’ve met through an online dating site won’t agree to meet you in person, it’s time to consider why. Perhaps the person is trying to hide something—maybe they’re married, or in a relationship. Or maybe they have a criminal past, or they’re just not interested in taking things further than the safety of their computer. Whatever the case may be, it’s important to evaluate if you really want to pursue a relationship with this person. If you’ve tried talking to your cyber-partner, but they still won’t meet up, it’s likely time to move on. Here are a few tips for cutting ties gracefully – and securely: • Don’t continue the online relationship. Ghosting someone online is never the way to go—so don’t just abruptly stop writing. Instead, let the other person know that you’d prefer to take things offline and meet in person instead. If they don’t respond, don’t push it. Move on. • Unfriend and block them. The best way to ensure that your conversations can’t be seen by anyone else is to unfriend and block the person. This way, you won’t be tempted to snoop around or message them again. • Don’t give out personal information. If you’ve given the person your name, address, phone number, or any other personal details, do your best to restrict their access to it. Change your passwords and take extra precautions to protect yourself from identity theft. • Make sure your friends know. It’s always wise to sound the alarm if you’re feeling uncomfortable. Share your experience with your friends so they can provide moral support, offer practical advice, and help you find new dates if you’re ready to move on. Online dating has brought people together from all walks of life, but it’s important to remember that it’s not a guaranteed path to romance. If someone you’re messaging won’t meet you in person, listen to your gut and play it safe.

We all feel like imposters from time to time. You know, that feeling when someone compliments you for your professional success, but you worry and doubt if you really did earn it? Or thinking that everyone around you knows better than you and can see through your charade? This is called Impostor Syndrome, and it can be pretty overwhelming. When you feel unworthy of success, it can be hard to understand why you’re facing this issue in the first place. We often think it’s because we don’t think we’re good enough or that we don’t have what it takes. But according to one entrepreneur who recently went through her own battle with Impostor Syndrome, this couldn’t be furthest from the truth. The entrepreneur in question, Leticia Ortiz, had been told by countless mentors and colleagues that she was uniquely suited for the venture she had created. But after two successful years, she started to doubt her abilities and slammed into a wall of anxiety and fear. No matter how much support she had, it felt like her accomplishments were never enough. The more accolades she earned, the worse things got. Worried that she wasn’t capable of living up to expectations and terrified of disappointing those around her, Ortiz finally hit her breaking point. It was then that she realized that the only way to break free of the imposter syndrome was to acknowledge the situation, accept her flaws and vulnerabilities, and do the hard work to move past it. She knew that while her successes may have given her wings, it was the honesty with which she faced her weaknesses that could help her to fly. So, Ortiz took a deep breath, looked deep inside herself, and embraced her feelings of inadequacy. Then, instead of judging herself, she accepted them. There was no turning away from, or denying, the fears that were consuming her. By validating her feelings, Ortiz gave herself the chance to release them. Next, Ortiz decided to stop comparing herself to others and instead focus on what she could do differently to improve her work and approach. She made a list of her weaknesses, identified those areas that needed extra attention and worked diligently to bridge the gaps. In addition to the internal work, Ortiz made sure to give herself some grace too. While she realized that getting outside feedback and guidance would be beneficial, she also allowed herself to take regular mental check-ins, to give her mind time to relax and reset. Finally, Ortiz reminded herself to be kind to herself and accept that mistakes are part of the learning curve. No one is perfect, we all make mistakes at some point in life. But equally important, when it comes to success, failure should be viewed as growth and not stagnation. So, the next time you feel like an imposter, like you are not worthy of success, or like you are doomed to fail, remind yourself that these feelings are normal. And trust that following the same steps as Ortiz can help you break free and reclaim your rightful place in life.

Humans have always sought to change and alter their own appearance. With the invention of makeup, tools have emerged that made masking and altering one’s face and body much easier. However, all these tools could not compare with the power that... selfie and beauty filters present modern humans. Beauty filters can do seemingly magical things. It can filter away complexions, reshape faces into whatever the user desires, even make a person look more attractive in a certain way. While a lot of people love the freedom and new looks that come with Beauty filters, more people needs to be aware of its side effects as using such powerful beautifying tools can really harm someone's mental health. Let’s take an example: A young user spends hours on end trying to get the "perfect" look with the help of beauty filters. It starts off just for fun but eventually it turns into an obsession. As they edit their image to the point where it falls close to the unrealistic ideal that the social media platforms create, they find themselves becoming consumed by their own appearance. Since this doesn’t match with what’s really reflected in their mirror, they start to lose confidence in themselves and their self-esteem begins to plummet. They’ll seek validation from other users on the platform and if they don’t receive enough likes or comments, their self-doubt and low self-esteem further increase. The illusion of perfection created by beauty filters can also harm relationships. If a user is constantly editing photos of themselves and makes them look ‘perfect” when compared to their real selves, it’s misleading. Friends, family, partners and even acquaintances may feel deceived when they see the real person. This can lead to distrust and break the bond that was formed with them. It's not just our mental health that can be harmed by such addictive use of beauty filters. With every flawless edited photo posted, followers could also develop a false sense of reality and it may stop them from living in the moment and focusing on truly meaningful experiences outside our filters. Worse, overusing beauty filters can be damaging to physical health. Comparing oneself to edited images can be discouraging, cause eating disorders and can even lead to skin issues. That said, there’s still a positive side to beauty filters. Havingoptions to choose from gives us freedom and Space to experiment with our appearance. Our skin colour, body shape or facial features don’t necessarily define us and having the ability to explore and play around helps us to realize that we don’t have to fit in any particular standard. It gives us an opportunity to unlearn toxic beauty standards that have been perpetuated for years. To strike a balance, it is important to focus on loving ourselves as we are and going beyond the surface level. Even if we focus on ourselves more that doesn’t mean vanity is the answer. We must still be mindful about how much time we spend consumed by this. We need to understand the power of beauty filters and the potential to damage mental health. Beauty filters can be used non-problematically – it only becomes problematic when it becomes an obsession and addiction. To really be happy and authentic, we must take care to not let editing our looks become our entirety as it will do more harm than good. Let’s make sure that joy is real, sustainable and not filtered away.

We’ve all been there at some point: you feel stuck in your job, lost in a sea of confusion as to why your career is not moving forward. You can’t understand why you haven’t yet achieved that promotion or any of the other goals you aspire to in your working life. It’s difficult to navigate the job market, especially when faced with competition from colleagues and the vast amounts of experienced professionals lurking just around the corner. So how can you break free from your stagnation and take steps towards success? The first step may be the easiest one to take (in hindsight) – stop and ask yourself some tough questions about your situation. Questions like, what actionable steps can I start taking now that move me closer towards success? Or, how can I create a more structured plan to get me on track to reach my goals? Thinking critically and creating accountability within yourself through constructive self-evaluation is a key factor towards achieving success, no matter the industry. Creating both long-term and short-term goals can also be beneficial – think of it this way: breaking down your aspirations into smaller goals makes them easier to achieve, like ticking off various items on a checklist. Set specific, measurable goals that can be tracked, something like “I will attend __ networking events in a month” or “I will write __ blog articles by the end of the quarter”. That way, you have clear goals that you need to work towards, giving you motivation and an extra boost of development within your working life. When feeling lost in your career, there are a multitude of other paths that you can pursue. Sports have long used the mantra of ‘retraining the muscle’, and you can use the same concepts to evolve your brain. Reading, taking classes, or even talking to mentors can help open you up to new opportunities and introduce you to colleagues that are leading the way in different industries. All of these activities can help lead you to gain new skills that open doors to higher positions you thought were unreachable before. In addition to furthering your own education, getting to know the people you’re working with can help bring some clarity to the situation. Having the right resources and influencers at your disposal is essential in navigating the job market. Reaching out to mentors and co-workers who have the knowledge and experience to answer your questions can provide both more insight and inspiration to new avenues of progress. Keeping an open dialogue with your peers and supervisors gives you a greater understanding of the organization’s needs and allows you to find ways to better contribute to them. There’s no one path towards success – your professional journey is unique, and your strategies must accommodate your individual goals, personality and interests. Working across disciplines and slowly building skills from multiple angles can ultimately grant you full mastery of the business landscape. Presence and visibility within the workplace can often lead to those promotion and raises. Take the time to go above and beyond the expectations of your position, and don’t shy away from showing off the extra effort you’re putting in to exceed your goals. Don’t become overwhelmed by the entire process – because you don’t have to manifest success overnight. If you remain vigilant and continue to be motivated, you will undoubtedly set yourself up for successes both present and future. Things that are worth achieving take time, perseverance and dedication – and you owe it to yourself to take the necessary steps and take pride in your accomplishments along the way.

Meeting someone online can feel like you’re navigating unchartered waters. You search through photos and profiles, seeking out that perfect match, but you never know what you’re in for until you meet in person. Modern technology has provided us with the opportunity to connect with people around the world, often through innocent and innocent-ish means of communication, but sometimes, the person on the other side of your digital connection doesn't adhere to the same standards as you. A missed opportunity is only a blip on the radar if it ends amicably, but if a prospect decides to vanish into digital thin air before you can even meet their face, a sense of heavy disappointment can set in. Your first reaction may be to want to ignore the fact that your online match has seemingly disappeared without an explanation and move on to the next prospect, but this doesn’t always address the underlying issue. If an individual showed enough interest in you to take the time to connect with you online, only to then disappear without warning, leaving your heart aching, it’s important to uncover the underlying cause of their absence. It might be that communicating with you was getting too difficult for them, the excitement of connecting with someone new wore off, or they were seeking something else out of an internet connection. Rather than looking for material solutions to fix your problem, it's necessary to take a step back to consider where you are emotionally. Feeling frustrated and maybe a little disheartened at the lack of respect is normal, yet it’s important to remember that you should never lower your standards in order to make someone else more comfortable. The growth and learning that come out of a crushed opportunity might be painful at first, but use it to recognize what behavior is reserved for those who truly have your best interests at heart. Show yourself a modicum of respect and compassion by acknowledging your discomfort and shifting into a healthy place of acceptance. This isn’t about self-care, it’s about self-trust and understanding that feeling alone, embarrassed and desolate are natural emotions when faced with a situation such as this. Don't deny your feelings, but instead stay connected to yourself and give yourself the permission to regroup, to reset and to keep going. Once you’ve managed to come to terms with your disappointment, it’s time to take an action which will empower you to move forward. You might consider completely cutting off communications with your former match. Then, if you know where they live, it’s important to trust your instincts when deciding whether or not showing up on their doorstep to “talk about this” is the right choice. If the idea could potentially put you in a vulnerable position, it’s wise to consider the potential risk if knocking on doors that aren’t yours and having a conversation with someone you don’t know well enough to trust. On the flip side, if it seems like a safe enough place for both of you, then sure, why not drop by? One of the most important aspects to remember when approaching any type of confrontation is to take time to listen, rather than just trying to make your point heard. Maybe you could look cross-eyed and stand perfectly still in an effort to make them adjust to the awkwardness. A constructive dialogue based around honesty is key. In summation, it can be highly upsetting and incredibly frustrating when an online connection suddenly disappears. However, rather than searching for external fixes, take time to feel your emotions and move on with better judgment and a clearer head. If a visit to the person’s door brings security and not fear, then approach it respectfully and carefully, remembering to stay conscious of your limits.

Dreamily slide into slumber with sweet satisfaction knowing you are embracing a healthy habit that can extend the length of your years. Who could ask for anything more than knowing the elusive eight hours can bring you health, longevity, and happiness? Modern sleep research delves in not just the quantity of sleep, but also the quality of sleep that can influence life expectancy. Here are some science-backed sleep habits to make sure your body is getting just what it needs during those precious hours of rest. Start by creating an ideal sleep environment where you as the owner control all of the noise and lighting. Noise during the night can disturb deep sleep, the most recuperative stage for us. Sleep experts recommend purchasing blackout curtains or shades to ensure total darkness at night; digital light sources can disrupt the body’s cortisol and cheapen the quality of our rest. Temperature plays an integral role in sound sleeping; keeping the room slightly colder encourages longer deeper sleep—and can even save you money on air conditioning bills. Also, sleeping seven to eight hours as adults replaces the wider range of sleeping habits more typical of a teenager. As adults, we are programmed to experience something called social jet lag, when an individual’s sleep cycles don’t quite align with their desired waking up and going to sleep times. It is important to create a realistic goal you can build into your lifestyle consistently because sleeps irregularities over time can be hard to fix. Investing in yourself in your mattress and bedding could pay off dearly with a longer lifespan in return. Studies have found spending money on better quality mattresses could help improve sleep apnea, reduce back pain and lead to longer lives. The perfect mattress for you might require a little trial and error, so if you can test out a few before you buy, that may be in your best interest. Bed sheets, blankets and other textiles can also play a role in aiding deeper sleep. The type of fabric used for these items matters for temperature regulation and in avoidance of sleep-disrupting allergens; some people find linen sheets to be the most breathable and fresh-feeling. Most importantly, stop looking at your phone before bed! Not only can the light trick your body’s natural circadian rhythms, blue light output from technology also sends messages to your brain to be alert, when you should be winding down. Setting a specific schedule to turn off electronics before bed can also clue your mind in on when it’s time to start resting. It's worth the effort to invest in bedding and a good mattress, find ways to set up a great sleep environment, and prioritize shutting off electronic devices at least an hour before going to bed. These healthy sleep habits could help increase your life expectancy and get a better, more restful sleep so you can live your life to the fullest every day.

Like a bird flying too close to a flame, people with anxious attachment styles are especially vulnerable to the risks that come with using online dating apps. Despite these dangers, they find themselves helplessly swiping left and right with hopes of meeting someone who can fulfill their need for real connection. For those who don't understand, it seems like a perverse self-inflicted torture. To those with anxious attachment styles, this is largely their only form of intimacy. For the anxtiously attached, the appeal of online dating is simple; the one thing they crave more than anything else, human connection, is easily accessible on their fingertips. Nothing is required but two swipes to the left and you could be talking online with someone on the other side of the world. For those so desperately seeking love and comfort, the internet can feel like a beacon of hope, signifying that help might be near. Unbeknownst to them, however, is the accompanying swarm of psychological problems that comes risking themselves in the online dating pool. To such anxious people, developing a relationship outside of online dating apps may seem ludicrous or even cowardly. Facing the many fears that come with dating, not to mention the feeling of being exposed and vulnerable when meeting someone for the first time, leaves them in a state of uncontrollable dread. But it's precisely this type of fear that serves to protect them, both physically and mentally, which is why moving away from seeking partners through a digital medium is so important. Anxiously attached people tend to be the most prolific users of online dating services, spending hours swiping, messaging and seeking out potential partners. Unfortunately, this risk-taking behavior may come at a cost. For starters, they take much longer to trust a partner and disconnect faster when they perceive any slights, often leaving them more hurt than before. This pattern quickly leads to a cycle of desperation and despair, causing them to delete and reinstall their dating app again and again in search of a new connection. Another danger for the anxtiously attached is the tendency to engage in long-term online-only relationships. These types of arrangements can foster a delusion of intimacy, wherein the couple believes they understand each other on a deep level, only to be crushed when they realize what they thought was real wasn't. These situations can not only make it hard to form lasting connections but also lead to bouts of anxiety and depression as well. The consequences of being anxiously attached to online dating services can also extend beyond emotional issues. People in these scenarios are more likely to suffer from poor physical health due to their feelings of isolation, often caused by staying indoors glued to their phones for unnatural amounts of time. Addiction can be another issue that plagues online daters, especially those with an anxious attachment style. They end up endlessly yearning for something that can never make them happy, leading to bigger problems down the road. The biggest issue when it comes to being an anxiously attached online dater is the fact that it rarely solves their need for real connection. In fact, it often exacerbates the problem since it fails to provide the security, acceptance, and love that these people crave. That's why improving one's dating skills outside of the digital realm should be the ultimate goal. Developing the courage and confidence to be able to go out and talk to people in the real world, making genuine connections and forming meaningful relationships, is the only way to truly satisfy those with an anxious attachment style. Though it's not an easy feat, learning how to be intimately connected with someone without depending on screens and distance can lead to new heights of satisfying, vigorous relationships in the future. With the requisite self-awareness, understanding, and maturity, anxiously attached people can find real, vibrant companionship if they look beyond online dating.

Are you body checking? We’ve all heard it by now - weigh less, be fit, eat right - and as a result, we put a lot of pressure on ourselves to strive for an ‘ideal’ body. This pressure leads to body checking - regularly assessing our body size and shape in order to ensure we meet the standards of beauty set by society. Many people believe that this is harmless and even beneficial, but in reality, body checking can lead to mental health problems and further issues such as eating disorders. Body checking can have many effects on both mental and physical health. Physically, it can lead to low energy, weight gain, lack of motivation, and stunted growth in adolescents. These physical ailments are then compounded by a multitude of mental issues such as a negative body image, feelings of shame and embarrassment, obsessive thoughts, and even depression. There is also evidence to suggest that body checking may lead to the development of an eating disorder in some individuals and can act as a trigger for those already suffering from an eating disorder. The concept of body checking has become commonplace in our society. We are bombarded with messages telling us how to look and how to perform when it comes to our own, personal appearance. Ads, TV shows, magazines, and social media all project an unrealistic, idealized version of ‘perfection’, making it hard to not compare ourselves to others with the same kind of meticulousness as body checking. It can be difficult to separate our emotional responses from our physical ones, and the disconnect between the two can lead to dangerous situations for those who are at risk of developing an eating disorder. Despite the negative impacts that body checking can have on mental and physical health, there are some benefits to it too. Being aware of your body size and shape is necessary for certain sports, and regular body checking can help ensure that athletes remain healthy and safe. For athletes, it might also increase performance as it can motivate one to continuously make improvements to their physical conditioning. The decision to body check or not lies with the individual. Some people might find it helpful in certain situations, while for others it may be more of a hindrance. If you do choose to engage in regular body checking, make sure you do it in a safe and healthy way. Pay attention to your feelings and be conscious of how they may affect your thoughts. Be honest with yourself and be careful not to let feelings of shame or insecurity cloud your judgement. Most importantly, remember that beauty is subjective and that everyone’s body is unique in its own way – your worth doesn’t come from what size clothes you wear or how much you weigh.

Have you ever dreamed of a stranger, only to realize hours later that you've dreamt of them before? Maybe you had a feeling of déjà vu when you awoke, or you already knew which door held the secret. Dreaming doesn’t have to feel like someone else is in control — it can be the other way around. Lucid dreaming is the practice of being aware while in a dream state and taking control of what happens. It takes practice, but you can do it, even if you believe you can't. The basics of lucid dreaming begin with recognizing that you're dreaming. To do this, you'll want to pay attention to small details during your waking hours and repeat it back to yourself a few times throughout the day to help ingrain it into your subconsciousness; things like trying to remember the number of buttons on a door that you touch, or noticing the picture on the wall behind you when you walk by a certain location. When you're in a dream state, your conscious mind will recall these little details to help you realize that you are actually dreaming and then take charge instead of being trapped inside a dream that someone else is controlling. Dream journaling is also helpful for lucid dreamers since it allows you to look back over your dreams and find patterns that can allow you take control in a dream. Every morning, record as much detail from your dream the night before in your journal; the more specific the better! Pay special attention to the emotions you felt, senses like sight, sound and scent, and details related to objects and places in the dream. Re-read these journals every few days so you become familiar with the pattern of your dream. As your pattern recognition grows, it will become easier to recognize when you are dreaming and take action to influence the dream. Technology can also help train lucid dreamers. Binaural beats, or special sounds tuned to the frequency of a dreamscape, can be used while sleeping which helps the brain learn to recognize the dream state more quickly. Advanced techniques like mnemonic induction of lucid dreams (MILD) can be incorporated as well to increase the chances of becoming lucid in a dream. Through MILD, you tell yourself "I am dreaming" repeatedly before going to bed and whenever you wake up during the night. This method opens the door to becoming aware inside a dream and lets you take control of the experience. When you do become aware of being in a dream, try to keep calm and focus your energy on what you want to happen. Remember, a dream is just your subconscious mind working, so anything is possible here. You can create scenarios, explore different parts of the world, and even talk to people in the dream. Shaping the dream with your thoughts can be a good way to break out of bad dreams and make them more pleasurable. Lucid dreaming might sound complicated, but once you get the hang of it, it’s an amazing way to take control of the dream world and make it yours. With a bit of practice and dedication, anyone can be a lucid dreamer and become the master of their own dreamworld.

When your partner is feeling down, it can be hard to know how to best help them. This is especially true when it feels like the problem is too big or complex for you to fix. However, recent research suggests that by using three simple strategies, partners that have high levels of relationship satisfaction are able to be reassuring and helpful to their significant others regardless of the cause of their woes. The first strategy is valuing. It is important to show your partner that they are valuable, special and important to you. This can be done through words, small gestures or cuddles. Making sure to show your partner that you appreciate them and that they are not alone can make a world of difference. Humor is another useful strategy. While it won't cure all the problems, finding ways to make your partner laugh can be a great way to draw attention away from their sadness and provide some measure of relief. Whether it is telling jokes, doing funny impressions, or even just acting foolish, humorous activities can often be effective in cheering up a partner. The last strategy is receptive listening. Often when someone is down, they just need someone to listen. You don't need to have big solutions or advice, but just being present and engaged as your partner shares their emotions can help give a feeling of comfort and support. Be patient, maintain eye contact, and make sure not explain away any of their emotions with good intentions. As Dale Carnegie said, “When dealing with people, remember you are not dealing with creatures of logic, but with creatures of emotion.” By demonstrating that they matter, helping them laugh and providing a listening ear, you are doing your part to make your partner feel better, regardless of the circumstance. So the next time your partner is feeling down, remember these three simple strategies and you will be able to encourage them and make them feel loved, supported and understood.

When it comes to parenting, one of the most difficult situations you can face is when a former teacher leans on you for emotional support. Not only are you responsible for your child's well-being, but you also have an obligation to ensure their teachers' needs are met as well. It's an intimidating dilemma, but with the right coping strategies and a little understanding, you can handle it. Being a parent is both exhilarating and incredibly stressful. When a teacher enters the picture who honors you with their trust and confides in you, it can feel heavy in a different way. This weight is often compounded by the responsibility that comes with knowing the teacher's emotional health might influence the advancement of a student academically and psychologically. As such, the best approach is to balance your feelings of being weighed down with a sense of understanding. It helps to remember that all people need emotional validation and attention from time to time, even authority figures such as teachers. Of course, this doesn't mean your daughter's teacher expects you to provide psychological care, they may simply be reaching out in their time of need. The most important thing to do when a teacher turns to you for emotional support is to listen. Encourage healthy communication. Give your undivided attention and make it clear that you're available to offer any help that is reasonable and within your means. All relationships, whether professional or personal, require respect and trust, both of which can be demonstrated through active listening. If after listening to the teacher's worries, you consider appropriate, you can offer advice or perspective from your own experiences. You don’t have to have an answer for every problem, but your willingness to lend an ear can make all the difference. If the teacher would benefit from it, invite them to speak to a counselor or trusted relative in times of stress. In any case, it is crucial to conduct yourself in an unbiased manner. Avoid imparting your opinions on the issue. Keep your comments to a minimum and never make judgments. Your job is to listen and guide, not advise and criticize. Of course, there is a limit to how much you should help a teacher. While you should compassionately listen to their concerns, recognize when it goes beyond what you can handle. It’s ok to draw limits and stick to them. It's up to the teacher to identify their own anxieties and decide how best to address them. Your role as a parent is to provide the tools and resources they may need while they do that. If your daughter's teacher is someone you care about, then make sure that your relationship is mutually beneficial and based on trust and respect. When a former teacher relies on you for emotional support, start by practicing active listening, offer helpful advice if it is appropriate and comfortable to do so, and stand firm with your boundaries. Above all else, remember that the responsibility of finding a positive resolution lies with the teacher, and that you are only a facilitator.

It happened out of nowhere. No warning, no preparation. One day, I was talking with my long-term boyfriend, and the next, he was gone. All of my calls and texts went unanswered. It felt like a gut punch. The relationship had been comfortable and easy, which only made his sudden disappearance that much more odd. I'd known him for a few years already; we'd moved in together, started planning our future, opened a joint bank account, talked about having kids. I felt confident in our relationship. But now, without warning or explanation, he was gone and I was left with a confusing mix of emotions. What had changed? What went wrong? The uncertainty was overwhelming. For the first few days, I tried calling and texting, hoping he had just needed some space and would eventually get back to me. But when that didn't work, I had to accept the reality of the situation. He wasn't coming back. That's when I realized that I had to take control of the situation. Even though I had no idea why he had left, I could still take action to improve my own mental, emotional, and physical health. So, I started by slowing down and focusing on one day at a time. Instead of becoming overly obsessed with the past and what had happened, I focused on taking care of myself in the present moment. I also sought out support from friends and family, something I had been neglecting in our relationship. It was so comforting to have people who just listened to me and allowed me to process aloud. Talking about my emotions helped me to both release them and make sense of what was happening. I never managed to figure out exactly why my boyfriend stopped answering my calls and texts, but I did manage to take control of the situation and move forward. I started to see my single life as an opportunity to become strong and independent before I committed to another relationship. Instead of using my energy to wallow in regret, I focused on pursuing activities that brought me joy like painting, reading, and working with animals. I also took up jogging and dedicated my weekends to weekend hikes. These activities allowed me to connect with the world around me and taught me how to be content on my own. By taking action and investing in myself, I've grown immensely throughout this experience. Though it was a difficult time, I learned more about myself then I ever would have with my boyfriend still in the picture. And it's actually because of this transition that I'm now in a much healthier and stronger mental state.

“You can't always get what you want,” the Rolling Stones sang in 1969. But more and more, people are finding they can—at least, until they realize they’ve been manipulating their environment without meaning to. At first glance, unintentional manipulation may sound like an oxymoron. After all, manipulation implies an intentional bending of the rules made with an end goal of getting exactly what we desire in mind. But with the subtle psychological moves we often make, this end goal can unconsciously become a reality — often with perverse results. If you think you may have been manipulating those around you without realizing it, it’s important to develop an insight into the matter. To help bring clarity to the situation, here are seven signs of unintentional manipulation that could be leading to less than desirable outcomes. 1. You Catch Yourself Feeling Guilty For Little Actions Do little mistakes like accidentally pushing your friend's buttons or swooping in last minute to take advantage of a situation make you cringe and feel guilty afterwards? If so, it may be a sign that you're unwittingly manipulating situations and people to get what you want. 2. Others Are Reacting Negatively To Your Requests Another sign that you're engaging in unintentional manipulation is when you find yourself consistently asking people for favors, yet get seemingly irrational pushback. Though these people may not be directly saying it (or perhaps even consciously aware of it themselves) their response may be indicative of a deeper issue: that your request was accompanied by some sort of “hidden twist.” 3. You Often Feel Resentful After Getting What You Want When someone circles back to you to suggest doing something again that you asked for once before, do you immediately feel anger or resentment bubble up inside? More than likely, it could be a sign you're subconsciously manipulating the situation to maintain the upper hand. 4. You Let Others Do All the Work It's tempting to sit back and let other people do the work for you. But if this wasn't your intention the whole time, it's likely a sign you're attempting to manipulate the situation. People like to be helpful, but knowing when to draw the line is essential to developing healthy relationships. 5. You Passively Take Over Conversations Do you often find yourself quietly taking over a conversation without really commanding the room? Unintentionally manipulating people also means using body language and subtle verbal cues to subtly guide them on a path that leads to what you want from them. 6. You Blame Others When Things Don’t Go Your Way Still another indicator that you are unintentionally manipulating people is when things don't quite go your way, you tend to find something or someone else to blame. this kind of behavior will only lead to a destructive cycle of guilt, shame and more manipulation. 7. You Make Friends Feel Uncomfortable Do you ever find your friends growing quieter and more anxious when you're around? It could be the case that they sense something off-kilter and feel uncomfortable. If this is the case, it's a telltale sign of manipulation. By taking the time to examine your actions and motivations, you can become aware of your tendencies and how you interact with other people. Once you understand how you're unintentionally manipulating situations, it's possible to consciously choose a different approach and foster healthy relationships that are not based on manipulation.

Volunteering with your children is an invaluable experience for both you and your family members. It can provide moments of togetherness and understanding, as well as teaching kids important life lessons about the power of helping others. These formative experiences can help them develop empathy, build self-esteem, learn to take initiative, think critically, and understand their community. No matter what age, each member of your family can benefit from volunteering together. Taking part in activities that are meaningful to the entire family gives a feeling of accomplishment and makes it easier to bond as a unit. During times of volunteering, family members focus on each other rather than their individual needs and wants. Teenagers benefit as well. A survey conducted revealed that 84 percent of respondents felt more confidence after volunteering, because teenagers gain firsthand experience in areas of organizational management and problem solving. Additionally, many teenagers recognize the need to balance their efforts between academic success and giving back to the world. Volunteering creates the ideal opportunity to do both. Younger children appreciate the opportunities to interact with adults, peer leaders, and older children from different walks of life. And when younger children volunteer with their parents, learning becomes a family activity as parents model behaviors, work ethics, and social values. Plus, team activities offered through volunteering can teach younger children the importance of collaboration and compromise. Translating thoughts into action and committing them to memory is an invaluable skill. When children learn to enjoy engaging in activities that have open-ended outcomes while working under the guidance of volunteers, they engage in free-thinking. That encourages the development of important traits such as teamwork, communication, self-motivation, and respect of one another’s opinion. Another important benefit of volunteering together is that parents set an example for their kids. By exploring the possibilities available through service projects, kids will have an opportunity to live by their own values, guided by their parent's examples. Children learn respect for diverse cultures when working with diverse groups of people. With this kind of environment, children are encouraged to challenge their own boundaries and foster respect for those who are different from them. Volunteering allows the entire family to take part in the good that is being done to the community around them. It also serves as a reminder to prioritize compassion in their day-to-day lives. This structure serves to positively reinforce values and lesson learned in school. By understanding the benefit of volunteering, kids gain an appreciation for giving back and being part of the larger good. It’s no secret that spending quality time together is the heartbeat of any family. Reaching out to the community can be very therapeutic and offers parents and children the chance to come together over shared values, missions, and goals. Volunteering alongside your children provides a great opportunity to teach them valuable lessons and help them become responsible, empathetic and compassionate human beings.