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Naya2279

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  1. Naya2279
    Thank you for the advice. It was good to hear the other point of view. I know he cares about me, but I just know that he thinks I will be around forever and I wanna show him that if he keeps this up I'm not.
  2. Naya2279
    Hi all. I've been seeing this guy for 2.5 years now. We've had our ups and downs, but lately it's been mostly down. I just feel like we're slipping apart and whenever I try to talk to him he gets mad because he says we keep having the same conversation over and over. He says that he just wants to be single, yet he still wants to see me a couple times a week. I just can't be single and still see him. Whenever I try to tell him this he just gets mad at me. I know there's this girl that's calling him constantly and I know that's why he wants to be single all of the sudden. Our relationship was like this about 6 months ago right before he went to visit his ex-girlfriend. I just feel like I'm good enough to have around until someone better comes along and then he throws me away. I broke up with him on Sunday because I just couldn't take it anymore. I can't go on with my life while I'm still playing these games with him. I went over to his place on Monday to get the rest of my things and his friends were there and he was acting all arrogant so I really laid in to him. I made him cry in front of them. I kinda feel bad, but not really because he was acting so arrogant and not himself. Later that night he called me and apologized and told me that he was stupid and he doesn't wanna lose me, but he's just not ready to settle down. He said that he wants me to go out with him on Saturday night still, but I just don't know if I can do it or not. I've just been a nervous wreck these past few weeks wondering what to do. That's why I ended it, but he's just not letting me. I was weak the last time we broke up and let him back in. I just really wanna show him this time that it's over and that I'm not going to be his doormat anymore. I want him to see that he really is gonna lose me and I want to see how he's going to respond. Any suggestions? I know I should just forget him and find a guy that knows how to treat me because I know I'm a good girl and I'm gonna make someone so happy someday. But, for some reason, I just can't seem to let him go.
  3. Naya2279
    Hey guys, it's been a while since I've been here. I got back together with the ex after a couple months of being apart. Things were going good there for a while, but now he's starting to act all weird again. He left me for his ex and then came crying back to me and after a while I took him back. Now he's doing the same things that he was doing before I found out he was cheating before. I know what I have to do, but I just don't know if I have the courage. I confronted him about it, but I think he keeps lying his way out of it. I don't have any solid proof, but i have some strong suspicions. I should have trusted my gut last time, but I didn't and I gotta go with it this time. I guess I just need some advice. I'm not looking forward to the weeks of hurt and crying that I went through before. Any advice would be great. Thanks
  4. Naya2279
    Ok, I'll try not to make this too complicated. I've had this best friend for 20 years now. We've been friends since kindergarten and we're 25 now. We went to grade school, high school, and even college together. She actually started at another college, but ended up transferring to mine, but that's another story..lol. Anyways, what I'm dealing with now is this. I almost feel like I'm dating her instead of anyone else. She's just always there. She calls me like 3 or 4 times a day and if she can't get ahold of me she'll call my parents or stop by where I'm supposed to be at or whatever. All of my other friends call her my girlfriend because she's always there. She gets soo mad when I have a date or hang out with some of my other friends. She really doesn't have any other friends except for me now that she's moved back home. I work 4 evenings and she stops into work every week at least 3 out of the 4 nights just to talk. Then on my 3 days off she calls and wants to do something every one of those nights. I usually go out with her on Friday night and my guy on Saturday night, but now she's starting to show up at his place, too. He's not liking this situation at all. She's always telling me that he's no good for me and what nots, but all my other friends love him and are happy for me. What I guess I wanna know is how can I tell her to back off a bit? I mean she's been my best friend for 20 years now, but since she's moved back home she's just there 24/7. I really don't want to have to be rude about it, but I almost feel like we're connected at the hip and it's really starting to get to me. She's never really had a relationship before and I guess she doesn't understand that we need some time just to be alone and not be with her. Any suggestions?
  5. Naya2279
    Hiyas, Well, I'm not a very religious person, but I don't think praying to God will ever hurt. I've been through a lot in my lifetime even though I'm only 25 and I still believe that He wouldn't give us any more than what He thinks that we can handle. I guess that's what gets me through. Anyways, I pray everyday even for the stupidest things. Most of the time they are just general requests. "Help me get through this today" or "Help me figure out what to do". I don't usually ask for specific things because things will work out how they're supposed to in the end I guess. He is "the man with the plan," right? I don't know if that helped you out or not. I went to Catholic school for 12 years of my life and had it drilled into my head every day.
  6. Naya2279
    My ex was always worried that his nipples were too big. I didn't think so, but he'd bring it up constantly. I dunno, I never really paid attention to others to compare them I guess. No big deal, I wouldn't worry about them.
  7. Naya2279

    Well well

    Naya2279 replied to HajiMaji's topic in Dating Advice

    Hmm....I work at a gas station and I just had a guy ask me for my phone number yesterday...was it you? hehe. I'm just kidding, really. Come to my gas station and you'd meet a cute girl
  8. Naya2279
    Ok, so I've made many many posts here about my situation, but i'll recap quickly. He started talking to his ex behind my back and went to see her over Thanksgiving. So now we've been playing this game of "I don't know what I want, but I don't wanna lose you crap". I go for a week or weeks with NC and then he comes to see me at work and he tells me that he is going to give her the boot that he knows what he wants, and me being stupid believes him and so on... Anyways, I know that they still talk everyday even though he says he's gonna end it. She lives in RI and we live in WV. She doesn't know I exist. She doesn't know that we had been dating for 2 years before he went to see her. Well, I snatched her phone number off the caller ID the last time that I was there. I just wanted to have it for my safe keeping. I dunno. I think I only want to use it if I know that there is no chance at all that we will ever get back together. Obviously, he thinks that I came to see him, but really I wanted to get the number. I know you all probably think I'm psycho and stuff, but I thought I was doing sooo well until he came into work last week to see me because I wouldn't answer his calls. I don't wanna believe his lines. I told him that I know he's trying to play us both. He swears it's not true that he's really just confused and that he's an idiot for putting me through this and what nots. I just can't believe a word out of his mouth anymore. I don't wanna call her because then I know that we will be over for sure. But, I can't sit here and wait in the wings for him to make up his mind either. I dunno, he told me today that he wants to come up and visit with my parents because he misses them a lot. I just don't know what's going on anymore. I thought I was doing so well. I stopped thinking about him 24 hours a day and was going on with my life and now he's drawn me back in. Am I crazy? Should I just call her and end it? or should I wait and just see what happens?
  9. Naya2279
    Yeah, I know he will come back. I talked to his sister's boyfriend tonight and he said he would bet his last $50 that he will come begging back for me. He also said that I'm way too good of a person to put up with all of his crap so that made me feel better. I know I am a much stronger person now because of all this.
  10. Naya2279
    Yeah, I think he's a little goofy. He's just not even the same person that I used to date. He's changed so much for her. He quit smoking and drinking, gave up most of his friends. It's like he's on a downward spiral all for this girl. She must really be something special. I personally think he's trying to live in the past when life was easy and what nots, but that's just my opinion. I wasn't around when they were together so I really don't know. I always thought that he was a dreamer and now I really think he's in one big dream. Oh well, best of luck to him.
  11. Naya2279
    We were together for 2 years. This girl had called this summer and I was there and I knew they had talked, but I didn't know that they were still in contact since then.
  12. Naya2279
    Ok, so I got dumped a little over a month ago by my ex. He went to see his ex-girlfriend miles away and lied to me about the whole thing. Well, it seemed like we were getting back together and then he told me she was coming to visit so I backed off and went back to the NC. Anyways, he called me when he was on his way back from the airport after dropping her off and he told me that I don't have to worry anymore, that she's gone. He also went on to say that they're in love and that he will be moving up there in March. (This is also exactly what he said when he first got back from seeing her before.) Anyways, I talked to him later that same day and I told him that I couldn't talk to him anymore and that he said that he doesn't wanna give me up either, but he can't talk to me either because it wouldn't be fair to her. So, here's my problem. He stopped into work tonight. Granted, I just work at a local store, but it was still out of his way. He paid for what he wanted and I told him Thank you. He was like you're not gonna talk to me? I was like I'm just respecting your wishes, plus I have nothing to say. So he said that if that's how I wanna be, then ok. He left just shaking his head and got back into his truck. Why did he come down in the first place? Did he want to see how I was taking it? Did he try to come and talk to me since I won't answer his calls? I'm dying to know, but there's no way that I'm gonna call him. I think I'm finally getting over the whole breakup thing and moving on. It's only been a month, but I feel soo much better about everything that's happened and I just want to move on. I mean yeah, a small part of me wishes he would come back, but he's gonna have to get on his hands and knees and beg and bring me expensive gifts or something. I was just looking for your opinions. You guys really got me through this terrible breakup and got my head back on straight so that's why I came back to you guys. Thanks in advance.
  13. Naya2279
    Well, the ex called me on his way home from dropping her off at the airport. I really didn't have much to say to him. I only answered cause he woke me up and I didn't check the caller ID. He asked how my week was and I said great, of course. I dunno, it was just weird. I really wish I hadn't answered, but oh well. I'm gonna keep the NC contact going. As for the other guy, I've been kind of blowing him off. I dunno, I feel bad, but I'm just not ready for anything. I tried telling him how I was feeling, but he won't let go of the taking a chance thing. I'm not really willing right now..
  14. Naya2279
    I said that because I'm just feeling really down and stuff right now. The one person that I thought would never leave me, left me. The one person that I thought loved me. Well, now it's like I feel like no one could love me again. I know what we had wasn't real love though if he did what he did. I just got so comfortable in my relationship and now I'm scared to death of that change. He comes in and no matter how many times I tell him no it's like he won't go away. He's a great guy, he's not like a psycho or anything, and that's why I'm afraid I'm gonna miss my chance or something. I know my main problem is myself..lol. I have no self confidence at all. And that's what I'm hoping this next year will be all about. I gotta find that and feel "lovable" before I'm ever gonna be able to be loved. Sorry for the rant. It's an emotional day for me.
  15. Naya2279
    Ok, well, I've made many posts in the past month about my huge breakup. Was with him 2 years, he cheated on me. I'm totally heartbroken. Well, this new guy comes into my life outta the blue. I'm scared to death. I don't wanna get close, but he listens to everything. He comes to see me at work (the ex never would). He calls me every night and so on. I cry on his shoulder like every night about my ex. I don't know. I mean I keep dreaming that my ex will wake up and come back, but I know that I can do sooo much better than him. I'm scared to death to get close to this new guy. I mean it's sooo soon and I almost feel unlovable and he's there. Yet, I'm still hung up on my ex. I'm just afraid that I'm gonna end up hurting this new guy, and he keeps telling me that I'm a great person and I deserve so much better than what I had. I know I do, but I'm just not ready. I've explained that to him and he said that in life we have to take chances. Is this a chance really worth taking? I don't want a rebound. My heart is in a million pieces right now and he listens to every word... I'm just so confused by everything right now...
  16. Naya2279
    Hiya Mickey, I'm kinda in your same situation. The ex and I started talking again and he wants to get together and stuff, but whenever I want to get together he's always busy. I just finally started to realize that he only calls me when he doesn't have anything else to do. Kind of like a back up you could say. I let him take me for granted that I would always be there. Well, that's just not gonna happen anymore. Yeah, I still care for him a lot and I wish that we could get back together, but he's just not worth it to me. I can't settle for being the "back-up." I don't know if I helped at all, but it's kind of working for me. I just resist the urge to call him and always say I'm busy when he calls now, if I pick up at all. Hope this helped.
  17. Naya2279
    You guys are soo right. Thanks for all the posts. Back to the NC. I can do this. I've done it before for a few weeks and they were great weeks. He knows that he can have be back next week and I'm just not gonna let him. I know that I'm stronger than this. I just get so weak when it comes to him. Thanks again!
  18. Naya2279
    Thank you...that's exactly what I needed to hear. I know next week he'll be all calling wanting to see me and stuff and I just gotta ignore him. I've done so well at doing that until last week. I guess the whole Christmas thing got me down. I know what I gotta do...it's just actually doing it. I know he's not good for me, but I don't know why I just can't stop thinking about him. Thanks for the advice
  19. Naya2279
    Well, he just called and I picked up today. He told me that I was being a baby and that I need to stop worrying. He must be up to something bad. I don't know why I care. I just need to get the strength to get over him. He told me that if I went up there and acted pyscho that I would just end up looking stupid. No, I would end up making him look stupid. He said I'd lose him forever if I did that. I most likely will lose him forever anyways. She doesn't know I exist. I mean she knows we were friends, but she doesn't know that we had a two year relationship and that he dumped me to go see her. I just sort of want to make myself known...I guess that's the hardest part. I talk to his sister all the time and she said that if she ever sees them that she will ask where I am. I just want to get this week over with. He told me that she leaves on Saturday. That's too many days away. I'm not gonna get through this week. I just wanna forget he even existed sometimes. I just wanna be able to move on and know that I am doing the right thing...I want him to miss me the way that I miss him I guess. I can see that that's not gonna happen...
  20. Naya2279
    Hi all...I've made several posts on here about my situation. The guy I was dating for 2 years went to see his ex-girlfriend over Thanksgiving without telling me. He told me that he was wanting to settle down and just wanted to make sure there were no feelings left for her and what not's. Well, when he came back he was confused and he didn't know what to do. I told him that I wasn't gonna wait around for him to make up his mind. He wasn't gonna have his cake and eat it, too. After a few weeks of NC he called and said that he doesn't wanna be with her and he thinks he had a big case of the stupids and stuff. He told me that she had gotten a ticket to come down to visit and it's non-refundable and that although he doesn't want her to visit she's still coming. I didn't ask when because I didn't wanna know, but I found out it's this week. She's in town now. See, I saw him on Christmas and stuff and he told me that the week will go by fast and just to think of it as a friend is visiting for a week and that next week she will be gone and so on. He told me not to worry about it. How can I not worry? Am I being stupid? Is he just trying to play games with my head? He's still calling me every day, but he's being so short with me that I know this is the week that she's there. I was doing pretty good until he called last week and told me he made a mistake. Now I'm back to where I was in the beginning. I love him, and I know that if it's meant to be things will work out, but this week is just going to be crazy until I know what's going on. Am I stupid for worrying so much? Should I just start the NC again and move on? I just don't can't stop thinking about him and her...
  21. Naya2279
    You think I think I'm invincible? Or am I taking it the wrong way? I am far from invincible...
  22. Naya2279
    I had a feeling something was going on and I questioned him constantly. He told me not to worry and stuff. I was there that morning with him when he left. I went up to his parents house on Thanksgiving, too. He told me, too. My parents were out of town. I'm afraid that when I meet a new guy he's gonna think i'm questioning too much because I won't have the trust that I once had. I know that they won't be him, but still. He reassured me. I should have trusted my gut.
  23. Naya2279
    Oh I hold grudges, too. I've been nothing but mean to him the past few weeks. No matter how many times I've hung up on him, etc even after weeks of NC and he still calls back.
  24. Naya2279
    Ok, well, I've made some posts on here, but I don't know who all has read them so I'll go over what's happened. I was dating this guy for 2 years and his ex called this summer. (he left her when she joined the navy 5 years ago...couldn't do the long distance thing) I thought it was a catch up call and so on because it sounded that way when they were talking. Well, it turns out they must have been talking more than that because over Thanksgiving week he went to see her (miles and miles away). He lied and told me he was going on a hunting trip. Anyways, he told me that he wants to settle down and ever since she called he had been wondering what would have happened if he hadn't broken it up. Well, I flipped out and so on--exactly what I should have done. We didn't talk for a few weeks. Well, I saw that he was calling the other day and I picked it up. He said that he messed up and that he shouldn't have gone. Well, yeah, I knew that. When i talked to him before I started the NC he just didn't seem like the same person anymore. Well, he wants to get together sometime. She was supposed to come visit him the end of this month, but he told her not to come. I just don't know what to do. I am so mean everytime he calls because he made me sooo mad and hurt me soo much. But I guess what kept me going was knowing he was gonna call and tell me that he made a mistake. And he finally did. Now I don't know what to do. I don't wanna pretend everything is fine because it's not. But I do miss him like crazy. He wanted me to go to his work christmas party tonight, but I told him no. He called me on his way back and told me that it wasn't very much fun because I wasn't there. Maybe he just knows what I want to hear. Everything is so confusing. A month ago everything was normal. I'm over the whole crying thing and what not's but I don't wanna get hurt again. I always thought he was the one. Everyone always told me they knew he was the one for me. I dunno now. Everything's all messed up. Any advice?
  25. Naya2279
    Hey, I know exactly what you're going through because your story sounds identical to mine. My boyfriend of two years just dumped me for his ex from 5 years ago. He had been lying to months and made me sound like the bad guy because I began to suspect something. He would call me "psycho" cause I started to ask a lot of questions. He made me start to feel insecure even though now I realize I wasn't insecure, I was just following my gut. He took off the week of Thanksgiving to go see her and told me he was on a hunting trip so it's been about 3 weeks since this whole thing started. I worried the whole week of Thanksgiving because I didn't hear from him. I'm still a mess. I have a good day and think I can get thru anything, and then I have 3 bad days in a row. He still tries to contact me every day which makes things even worse. I just want to make that clean break. I know deep down inside that someday all this pain will go away and there will be someone else, but it is hard to get to that point. And it's hard, you're right, especially with the holidays because I know they're spending them together. I just wanted to let you know that I'm in the same boat as you. We just gotta keep paddling. We can get through this. Every day is gonna get just a little bit better.
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