.Real Talk.

i know this is gonna sound like a dumpee jus rambling about the same things but its been awhile since we broke up, i've date other girls and it feels aight wen i go out w/ them...then wen i get home i cry myself to sleep because they're not who i want, i still want and need my ex...i still love her...i dont know what to do anymore, i miss her all the time even wen im w/ other girls i miss her, i wanna tell her how i feel still but i dont think she wud even care now...i know something this important is worth fighting for but im scared of the way she'll react towards me...

sorry if this is a waste of a post but i feel this is the only way to get things off my head. After grieving so much about breaking up w/ the love of my life, after having the ups and downs that a person has i feel i am finally headed in the right direction. I haven't gone too far but i now have started to realize theres more out there. I have finally realized that all the efforts i have made to try and meke her change her mind about what we did is a waste. all the love that i have been trying to show i her i have maybe just isn't meant for her. Not to sound too full of myself or anything but i know i am a great boyfriend, i have given her everything, treated her like a princess and this is the thanks i get??? I know theres a girl out there that can actually appreciate all the love i have to give, god knows i still love her but all the things that have happened between us happened because its supposed to. "if you love them, let them go" thats the old saying that i try and tell myself each and everyday. its so hard for me to not be able to show her the love i have inside for her still. that love will probably never go away because i know the connection we have is real, but for the mean time why waste my time trying to win her back wen she is 100% positive what we're doing is right...so i'll let her be, if we really are meant to be then later on down the line we will be back together again. if not...oh well theres someone out there waiting for me too...i will be happy again one day.

i jus broke up w/ my g/f awhile back, it was kind of like your situation...no hard feelings toward each other, it was more of a mutual break up. The problem is we still continue to talk to each other daily. We hang out all the time and still have sex sometimes. this is getting to be really confusing for me but at the same time i can't make it stop. As long as you dont wind up in the same road as i am you'll be fine. give her some space like your planning and if its meant to be then you 2 will be back together again someday.

I wish it was that easy to let her go like that. The thing is before we got together she became my bestfriend first. And as of right now she still is, she's the one i go to for problems and talk to about anything, it jus doesnt feel right in my heart to jus cut her out of my life like that, it doesn't feel right in my heart, it doesn't feel like the right way to go at all. And maybe i'm wrong because i do miss her deeply wenever i have to say bye to her cuz i never want her to leave. And the worse thing of this all is that we are both still having sex or some kind of sexual act when we hang out. For example over the course of hanging out this past week we have some kind of sex almost everytime we hung out. which is bad but good at the same time. Its so frustrating to love somebody with all your heart and they dont feel enough love to be with you. She say's she loves me still, she even hated the fact i even had a thought of joining the military because she said she would miss me too much because she loved me. there has to be a way to make her realize exactly how much love i actually have for her and make her change her mind about this whole relationship thing, i need to make it so she is confortable enough to get back into a relationship with me. The love is there, i just need a way to respark it and make her realize im here for the long haul and wont her again.

your story has given me a new hope in life. I recently broke up w/ my g/f that i KNOW is the one for me but she has a lot of stuff going on in her life right now thats going to keep her very, very busy and very stressed plus shes not ready to be in a relationship w/ anyone right now. so i let her go...and i say to myself all the time, if we are really meant to be, if what my heart is telling me is true then we will be together again later on in life. i love her and this feeling is not gonna go away no matter what girl i do get with later on in the future. i know the love i have for her is real and permanent. your story is crazy man...i hope for some kind story like that for me and my ex. heh.. well, anyways...GO FOR IT. if that happeneded to me i woudn't question it at all i would go with and see where it takes us. you only live life once, go all out!

The other night, after a long night of troubles i was finally convinced that what my ex was telling me was very true. She told me that she is still "in love" with me and still "loves" me very much. she says at this point in her life, after all the drama that she's been in, in the past year or 2 years she's not ready to get back into another relationship just yet. Plus she has alot of stuff ahead of her, thats going to keep her real busy...school and work. She say's she needs me in her life still and i do too and we decided to just at least stay the best of friends because thats how we started off as anyways. I truly do love this girl, its crazy. The other night i just broke down crying and poured my whole heart out on her and but she has convinced me she still loves me and wants to be with me. just not right now. am i wrong to be convinced by what she says? is she just pulling my strings or saying this to jus comfort me? have any of you ever felt this same way and eventually got back together with you ex?

see, same thing happened to me but not to the extent of having sex with any girl. i told my ex that i was just hanging out w/ a few girls the other day and she got upset at me. but really for what reason? we weren't together, she knows my love for her is just as strong as it was wen we decided to take it really slow and just be friends. its so confusing man, i want her back so bad but i know i gotta take things one thing at a time and let things fall in place.

Walker, you're right. I wasn't saying you were wrong, it really just depends on the people and the situation. Maybe im wrong, maybe me and my ex dont get back together. It just that from whats happen so far between us and knowing each other i feel that we will. It all depends on the person and the vibe that you get. I feel this way because i know her as a person and from the things she says, i feel she really means it. Maybe its me and i'm a sucker for her words and i believe everything she says. I took peoples advice on what to do once and it almost messed up everything for me, it was a good thing i didn't. broken_walk, he's right though, its all in the feeling that you get, dont get your hopes up and be let down at the end. I'm following my heart and at the same time im analyzing the situation and feeding off my ex's reactions and what not. and thats the outcome i came up with. thats why i feel the way i feel about whats going to happen.

i agree shiminimo, im sort of in the same situation, my ex and i decided to take a break from each other and jus be friends for now. she has a lot of things she's stressin over right now and its alot to handle rite now. So i decided to step back and be her friend, this way we avoid all the stress that comes w/ being in a serious relationship (which is what we had). I still very much love her and she says she still very much loves me but we need to do this because i dont want all the other crap happening in her life to ruin what we have.

for most relationships, NC would definitely help. But for some reason for me and her this would not work at all. First of all, we are both not strong enough to do this because i garuntee that after at a couple days one of us is going to crack and make contact, bringing it back to square one again. We both still love each other very much, its just that she was a lot of other problems in her life right now that she needs to take care of first and i dont want to add any more pressure on her, thats why i decided to step back and be her friend for now. We still talk all the time and still make plans to hang out together. I just felt she needed to be a little less stressed. Is there anybody on here that has taken the friend approach and made good use of it and came out being together again at the end of it all?

Me and my ex were trying to get back together after a month of being apart and things didn't seem right so we decided not to go on any furthur in order to save our friendship. I kno she still loves me she just has a lot of personal problems in her life right now that she cudn't handle a relationship right now and i understand that. i kno she still loves me and wants to be with me and i feel the same for her. Me and her both agreed that we kind of lost the friendship that we started w/ in the beginning and decided that maybe we shud take this time to find that again. She said she thinks this is a good idea because she still see's a future w/ me which is good. I love her so much, i did this because i didn't want to see her stressin over me too, she didn't need it right now. I guess my question is do you guys think that me and her still have a chance in the future of getting back together?

i really plan on doing that tonight. We're supposed to go dinner and a movie tonight. She say's shes not ready for a relationship but still wants to hang out with me, she's not ready for the relationship part??? Does that even make sense? She want's everything to do with me except the commitment of the relationship? I love her but i can't wait her for her to make her mind up, this is crazy, when we're together it feels so right and then she leaves and feels this whole different thing...Why? If i feel like this at the end of the night, im going to walk away from her and let her be. Its going to be hard but i gotta do it, it hurts too much to stay here and watch her do this to me over and over again, day after day.

this girl is the most confusing person ever...one minute she wants to be in a relationship then later on in the day she will call me and say she feels weird again and she can't handle a relationship. Im so frustrated, i dont even have feelings anymore, i dont feel mad or sad or happy anymore, im not even surprized from the things she says. I dont know what to do, i love her so much but i dont know how much more of this i can take. If only there was a way to get her to know for sure what she wants. sorry, i had to let off steam some how, this is the only way i could think of.

thanks for the suggestion, i dont know though, that seems kinda hard, i dont want to lose her again, what if this pushes her away because she'll feel like like i dont love her anymore?

so you guys are saying to back off a lil bit?? I shudn't get into the relationship again then? I should leave her alone for a lil bit longer so she can make sure that the choice she makes is 100% correct and she really feels ready to be in a relationship with me again?

Ok, after a month being "broken-up" me and my ex decided to try once more. She broke it off because there was things we needed to both figure out first and me and her have both figured things out and have grown since. We learned from the mistakes and have gotten better. We also decided on taking it slow, we dont wanna rush back into it and try and making the relationship how it was before. But last night some told me something that sort of bothered me. She told me that when we are together now it doesn't feel the same at all. She doesn't know if its a bad change or a good change but she says it doesn't feel the same. I suggested that maybe its because we jus spent a month trying to keep each other out the of the others head but i dont know if im right. I kno she loves me and i know i love her too. She went through a lot this past week because she basically chose me over another guy for the 2nd time (same 2 guys, she's picked me again, its a long story) but she says that she knows she made the right choice and that she loves me and sees life better w/ me. My question is why does she sound like she doesn't even want me there as a b/f at times? She says she loves me and wants me, and she wants to pursue this relationship with me and then at the same time she says she doesn't know if shes ready to be in a relationship again? What does she really want? She gives me all these mixed signals...im so confused. Then after all this i'm not ready talk, she text's me and says i dont wanna take it slow i want to pick things up where they left off, thats all i really want. Im so confused...what does she really want??? I'm going to ask her straight up later wen i talk to her but what do you guys think?

congrats! i hope you two the best, its always good to realize all the mistakes that have happened and go from there, as long as you 2 both know what went wrong, u can prevent it from happening again.

damn this sucks...i have no control over this and its killing me...i wish there was more i cud do

i feel i can still trust her, its just that whole reason we even broke up is because i was sort of insecure and all she said was to trust her and i do now, or DID...and then she comes to me with this. I still love her, i think if i even gave it another chance i can really truly trust her. Now its up to her i think, its up to her heart and i will see what she truly wants. I told myself before that i dont want her anymore but it was a lie to myself, i need her, i love her and i can't lose her. oh yea, and one more thing, before she left i told her not to contact either of us so she can have time to think to herself. But she texted me lastnight and i didn't get a chance to answer them cuz i was busy...do you guys think she texted him too? Because wen ever i wasn't there for her i feel that she went to him instead.

ok, im in a very confusing and weird situation that includes my ex, her ex and me. See me and my ex broke up about a month ago and me and her still hung out continously this whole time. Its like we were separated and lived our own lives and then we jus get together out of no where and hang out and then separate again like there was no ties between us again. It was kinda weird. Anyways, the other night after we got done watchin a movie me and her were talkin about things in the parking lot next to her car and she tells me the following... "i love you, this feels so right, right now, i think i shud go home before we do something we will regret again..(a week ago we made out and had sex on several different occasions)" "i feel like were gonna get back together really soon, theres just things i need to figure out" "i love you so much i dont ever wanna lose you in my life" then i told her this break up has caused me to realize alot of things about our relationship that i have now realized and aim to prove that i have gotten better, i also told her that i love her so much because she is such a trust worthy person who would NEVER lie to me EVER. Soon after i say that, she breaks down crying and this is where i get a whole new picture of her... she tells me during the time we broke up about a week after she called her ex for some confort and i guess they got "close" again, she tells me it was accidental and she didn't mean for any of it to happen. The thing is she has lied to me, she told me that she hated this guy and never talks to him at all. She even put up this giant front about being pissed off everytime he tried to contact her. It was all lies. Now she says she doesn't know wut to do, she says she loves us both and it wud hurt her too much to jus pick one. Shes on vacation right now for a week, i told her to think things over by herself and not to contact either of us for the whole week, that way wen she comes back she will have a straight answer to give to both of us. I love her so much, i dont want to lose her, i shud be mad at her for she told me about her and her ex but im not. Im not mad at all, i think its because i understand the situation and we weren't actually together. And im kind of guilty too, because after we broke up i hung out several girls the whole time to clear my mind from her, because it hurt too much to jus sit around and think of her. Nothing happened between me and the girls i hung out with but im not sure that if something did happen i wudn't be able to say no. Im so confused right now, do you guys think that i shud even try and get back with her?? i love her so much and i feel that she really does truly love me as much as she says she does, i dont want to lose her.

thats true too uproared because a couple days after me and my ex broke up i told her i have changed and all that good stuff, but in reality i jus finally realized my wrongs i haven't actually changed yet, changes takes time, its not an overnight thing, slowly you will get better and really change for the better, as long as you be there as a friend to you ex (if thats what you want) then maybe down the road she will realize how much you've really changed then you both can try to pursue a relationship together again.

i didn't ask her up front about us ever getting back together. i simply asked her what she pictured our future being like (together wise) she said then said i really do see us getting back together again some day but until then show me how much you've grown as a person as a friend for now, i wanna see the guy i fell in love with a while back, then maybe we can start brand new again with a relationship. I dont agree completely with wut she says but i kno i done things wrong in the past and i do need to "grow up" some, she said i was being immature about somethings i was doing, the thing is, i kno she loves me still i know she still has feelings for me, so when she tells me something like that i kno she' not lying in anyway, i kno wut kinda person she is and she wudn't lie about things like that.

the reason we broke up was because of many reasons... 1. we spent every day with each other for over a year and we both felt that maybe we shudn't do that so much...(this was a mutual agreement) 2. When ever she went out w/ her sister or friends i wud get kinda mad because she wud go out and drink and that kinda stuff (i know it was my mistake cuz of my insecurities) 3. She said i was starting to be a bit on the controlling side..and she didn't like that at all And we've been goin out for about 7 months but we were friends for more than a year now and while we were friends we kicked it like every day so it feels like we've been together for more than a year now. As for the FINAL part No, she even told me, she believes that we will be back together sooner or later but she feels that i need to learn my problems and she needs to learn her problems and we both need to fix them and then maybe we can come back together again. Another thing, even yesterday she was like, i dont know how long i can do this, i feel like we'll be back together again before the summer even ends. This made me kinda happy and kinda mad at the same time because its like she says she still loves me and still wants to be w/ me but she aint doing anything about it... I f'n hate it actually, shes all up on me kissing and huggin but then at the end of the day she still just wants to be friends. I dont want a friend with benefits i want the girl that i loved to love me back...f--- that "friends with benefits" bs.

Ok as some of you know, i broke up w/ my ex about 3 weeks ago. During this time we have still been in contact and still talk on a regular basis. But recently, in the past week or so we have been a lil more than the "friends" that we are supposed to be. We have made out, had sex, made out again and all that good stuff. The thing is, i try not thinking about her at all, i dont ever initiate the contact, she does...but she broke it off w/ me...why does she want to see me so much? Everyday she asks to hang out w/ her and it got really bad the other day wen i was trying to ignore her and she finally called me and begged me to hang out w/ her in any way so i decided to go to lunch w/ her. I'm so confused what does she really want from me? Even yesterday wen i was jus chillin at her house she was like "i wanna kiss you so bad right now" i didn't act upon it cuz i didn't wanna do that again but why is she doing this to me?? Do you think she might want to get back together anytime soon? The reasons we broke up wasn't anything really big either, it wasn't like we ended the relationship on a really bad note. I jus want so feedback on what you guys make of all this...i really dont know wut to do anymore.

its good to know ur not stressin about that no more...congrats. keep ya head up and be strong. ttyl.