Phoenix Down

Yeah, it's not that I dont care about her, like hockeyboy said. It's just a matter of trying to be happy. I've carryed the weight before a lot, all it does is slow down your progress. Tho I'm not doing the best I can right now, I'm still not as bad off as I could be. If she dosn't pick up when I call, should I leave a message?

Should I ask by phone or email. I'm thinking e mail. And let me ask you this. Every once in a while she'll call me late at night. I dont pick up cause I was sleeping or didn't hear it ring. And I get blocked numbers showing up on my phone or ones that say private. If it's her, why dosn't she leave a message? I'm looking at it as a good thing I guess. But at the same time it messes with me. When I'm out and having a good time , my minds not on her, but when things like that happen, it gets me thinking again.

I've just never wanted a seccond chance before. I dont want to do anything to mess this up. I played a fool a little in the start of the brake up. I dont want to give her too much pride where she looses intrest. But on the other hand, this has been going on for long enough...

My ex and I split up 5 monthys ago. She broke contact asking if I'd like to go to a movie with some old friends. I had to go out of town. She brought it up again, and still I had something going on I could not cancel. We still talk, (email) but she hasn't asked me to do something again. I was just wondering if I should ask her if she want to hang out with some friends one night, or just wait and keep talking and see where that goes. Some one told me if I wanted to invite her to do something I should let her know she can come if she wants. Not just straight out and ask her. That way it seems like she'd be missing out if she dosn't go. I hate games, but I do want to see where this could go. Thanks PD

I'll put it this way, now this is going to be weird but check me out...Look at it like a child returning to a house where he or she was abused. Time has past and no more harm can come to him or her, but there's still a feeling of discomfort. Same with you, she hurt you, so in turn your a little scared to give in right away. Normal all the way, but do try to give it time, these things cant be rushed. Your heart has to open on it's own. I'm sure she'll understand that. I hope I helped Deja

Thanks man, I know that had to be boring to read The invite thing sounds like a good idea. That way it's (come if you want) Not (do you want to come). Thanks again man, and I'll keep you posted on the stats. PD

I hope things go as smoothly for me as well. When she brought up us going out I had to leave town for a while. she mentioned it again but once again something came up. You don't think it'll be showing too much intrest if I ask again? I'll post our emals starting with her first. Let me know what you think of the whole thing. we should get tong and tao and heather or something adn go see a movie sometime. I'm going to Orlando this weekend. Yall go ahead have fun. We'll hook up later. Be safe k tell matt i said hi. Im going to the FSU vs. Duke game in talahasee for the weekend. Have fun, we'll get together after the 7th sometime. I'm not staying with matto, I got a free hotel room with my ticket. I'll tell him you said hi tho. He's got to work so it's just me for the most part. Be safe we work a lot during the week, maybe one weekend. when I brought up the movie thing, Tao seemed upset. you should give her a call sometime and let her know you still love her. she called me this weekend but i was in tallahassee i was gonna call her tomorrow night. im just always at work or school and when i think about calling her its too late. did you have fun in orlando? i had a lot of fun! went down church street. met up with some people, we handed out deoms, they showed us around. "got tipsy" (i hate that song). crashed at the room thats pretty much it. how was the game? i bet it was fun being around all those people ya we had a lot of fun. i got to hang out at my cousins house and we "got tipsy" there too. i loved the game i wanna go back and hang out some more this summer with my cousins, i miss them. i wish i could go to FSU i liked the school alot too. are you still using those speakers of heathers?? she kinda wants them back since we are moving out so she can use them. well i'm glad you had fun did you tell matto i said hello? sure, i'm not using the speakers, does she still live at her moms house off of summit? I'll drop them off to her. i called matto and told him you said hi. why can't you go to FSU? i've herd its a great school. stacys there. she did another picture for me. it's kinda cool. i wish she would draw something other than nude girls touching them selves tho. j/j don't get me wrong, it's nice, but i've already got one like that. she used to do cool little scenes with like a phoenix with symbols and fire and stuff. i need to find some other pictures for the new cd. i'm trying to get a bunch of phoenix art with some other things. i've been trying to draw again. good job on finding a place. i'm still looking. gulf breeze is too tough right now. i want to stay here in pensacola for a while. after the divorce things are going to be crazy. hey. yeah heather lives in the same place but she's never there, she hates it there, i guess thats why she's going to live with me. I cant go to FSU because i couldnt take morgan to an apartment there and i just bought a house here plus i have to much to pay for to just move and look for a job. maybe you should just ask stacy to draw you something with fire or something else so that maybe she'll do it. she can draw good but it would be boring to have alot of the same kinda picture. that sux that your dad is kinda stickin you in the middle. i mean i guess its better than shutting you out but hopefully your mom will understand that it wasnt your choice and that you had nothing to do with it. I hope she'll be ok. well i gotta go to class now only 2 years left haha. well havea good day and talk to you later hey, where does heather want her speakers? i'm going to be moving back in town for a while. i need to be over there for when school starts. i'm waiting to see what happens with this settlement for my arm before i mess with a loan. hows the morgan puppy doing? a friend of mine breeds huskies, as soon as i'm ready, she said i could have one, i just have to pay for shots and stuff. i cant wait. sasha can use a friend, i'm always working. well have a nice holiday. max fun yeah!!! take care, be safe im not sure where she wants htem i'll ask her. we dont move in for 3 more weeks so she'll have to find somewhere till then. ill let u know what she says. hope you have a good holiday too. tell everyone i said hello (your family) ps. the morgan puppy is just as hyper as always ok, play rough with the puppy for me. and tell heather no rush on the speakers. ciao... well, what do you think? She'z in bold. I'm at a loss, dont know what she's thinking. Tahts all the emails up to date. She broke contact with the first one. PD

Forever means forever if things work out that way. One big lesson I had to learn was we have no control. Let things rest and stay out of site for a while.

Yeah me too I'm very happy for you. Wish the rest of us luck. PD

Try no contact. Let her miss you on her own. It's the best way, it also gives you time to work on yourself. Good luck PD

The problems have been fixed, my ex before her keept messing things up, and I have to admit, I had a lot to do with it to. But as far as I know, it's been made clear the changes. You can't just come out and say it, it's something she has to see on her own. Other than that, I guess there not much more I can do on my end but see what happens. I'm not even sure what she wants from me so, wish me luck. Deja

she was trying but I kept having things come up, so she kind of stoped asking. Should I bring it back up?

Ex and I split. (ex dumped me) After N/C she contacts me. Wants to go out with friends. We keep having problems planning, we both work and go to school. We've been in contact for about a month now. My qustion is, I'd really like to see where this could go, but I'm stuck. Is there anything I can do. Or do I just play along? How should I act? Any tips will be great. Thanks PD

I cant say it enough, every time I post a problem, you always pull through It's like a foggy window I'm trying so hard to see through, and along you come with a simple swipe of your hand, and clear a space for me to see. I just wish it woulden't fog back up at times. With every post you respond to, I feel more and more confident to clear the fog from the window on my own. I know that sounds retarded, but it's true man. you've been a great help. thanks again. Deja

She broke N/C to ask me if I wanted to catch a movie sometime. Ever sense then we've been in touch through email. We work and go to school a lot so we haven't made time yet, but we keep trying. I have to go out of town, or we'd be doing something this weekend. I hope our busy lives dont get in the way. We're both about to move, strangly eoungh, we're both moving closer to each other, maybe that will help.

Well, it's been over 4 months sense the brake up. Things are looking better. We went through a phase of no contact but we're talking now via email. I'm not sure where things are going yet, but it seems to be in a good direction. I'm afraid to be too happy tho. Not that I'm not, I am. It's just my heart will only let me smile so much in fear that all is not what it seems. I'd love for things to work out. But I have no control. I was just wondering if any one else is in the same boat I'm in. And if this is normal to feel almost apathetic at times. Not really twards her, just about everything in general. Theres no telling what she has in mind so I feel I have to be in a netural state. Am I doing the right thing? Thanks, Deja

How old are you guys?

Good luck. My best wishes. Keep strong and think of you first right now. PD

Show her the changes you've made, but make sure theose changes are real or you'll end up back where you are now, with maybe with no chance at all. It sounds like she will be back, but honestly, make sure you've fixed whats been broken. Good luck PD

Ok, thanks for the tips. You guys have a good holiday as well.

Every year my ex and I would always go to my aunts house for thanksgiving with the rest of my family. her family really dosn't do much and she always said she enjoyed being with us. Should I offer her to come if she wants? I dont want to come out and ask her, but maybe just let her know she can join us if she has no other plans. Is this too much? Should I just leave it at have a happy holiday?

I'm glad to hear everythings going well. I wish you guys the best of luck. Deja

She asked something about a song I wrote just last week, I'm still not done with it, The hook says "I wish today was the first day I met you". sense it's a new track, the only people who have a copy of it are me and another friend of mine whose wife is friends with my ex. But they dont have internet. She asked what it was saposed to mean. It means today I know all that was wrong and have fixed it. And if we just met (my ex and I) No walls would be in our way to happiness. I do have some songs on a college web site, but their all off of the last album. As far as I know, only Bret and I know of the words. Maybe his wife, but I asked them to keep it quiet. Bret writes music as well, and I think he wants to on this track.

True, if thats even the case.

About the smiles, it was because I didn't think I'd hear from her so soon. I don't look at it as "we're getting back to gether". Thats still way down the road. If ever. It just cought me off guard, I was done and decided to check it this morning one more time before I let things ride out and there it was. I'm going wait to respond a little bit. Theres not much to respond to. I was going to wait and see if she brings up anything about going out some time. I also might have watch what I say. I got a strange PM from someone on this site that knew a little more than they should. I looked up the profile, all it said was the person was a girl, and their from Florida. I'm guessing it may be her or possably a friend of hers, or some one taping my phone line. j/j I don't know. But if it keeps up, I'm not sure how much longer I can do posts her with too much info. it was probably just chance, but this person knew a little too much detail on somthing I've never even spoke of on this forum. Strange...