moleculo

I suppose. But she made it look damn easy for the four days that she didn't/

Most certainly don't use the knife. What was the extent and context of the cheat? Like drunken making out, sudden rush of lust over the top stuff...If she cheated on you many times, then yeah dude, your life will be easier and it'd be for the best. But if it was a one time deal, then perhaps things can be worked out.

Don't worry kid, everyone has something like that that they have run into in their teens. I think you should address why you feel bad. Do you feel it was wrong or do you feel that "being gay" is wrong? If it's the former, then just let it lie and stay friends with him...friendship is important and while weird things can happen, you can get past them. Friendship is too important to let these things take them down. But if it's the latter, then perhaps you have other issues to work on.

I fyou have a short term long distance relationship then it would be okay...I had a long distance thing last fall but only for three months...it takes its toll but it works. But if you're not going to be close to each other for a long time then it might be worth it to change.

Yeah Mark and Mike, I'm sure you guys are good guys, so take no offense when I say...grow up. (And I mean this with respect...I'm sure in every other situation you guys face, you're mature men...in the cheating aspect though) But honestly, you are grown men and you have the power to admit what you are and change it. Mike, you can stop what you're doing right now and you know it. Mark, you know you've been cheating. You are both grown men and there is only one way both of your problems will change, and that's if you effect change. Take a stand and change your ways.

Well with the fact that it wasn't like a huge deal and the fact that she lied to me out of fear, not evil, we're still together. It's weird...when we're together, I feel fantastic. When we're apart I think about what happened and I feel like I may have taken the wrong turn. But then when I see her again I feel great...and then yeah, I feel bad about it when I turn around again. I'm calling for a boycott of the earth, who's with me?

I'm in a similar situation with my girlfriend...It's tough...I wish I knew a fix-it all cure. If you really, seriously weren't dating, then it's something you have to accept. But you described it as the extremely blurry line of a "break" and that's tough to get past. Ultimately, communicate your feelings to him. Even if you can't find a word for it, find a way...explain your anger. It might help you two get past, or it might help you two understand each other. Ultimately if you are true to your heart you can't go wrong. Right now your heart says somethings amiss. Make sure you don't bottle it up and ultimately, even if it doesn't turn out how you'd hope, it'll turn out for the best.

My girlfriend and I have been together for a year and a half. We;ve been friends for about three years Last summer she asked me what I would think about her doing something of a physical nature with her best friend, who is bisexual it seems. I told her hypothetically it was a hot concept but in actuality it would probably really upset me. When discussed it was made clear that if they were to do something, itd be just the two of them. I'm not all that comfortable with watchign two people go at it anyway. So basically we agreed that it wasn't a good idea. Case closed. Fast forward to this summer. I live in a city and she's working in the city but lives outside of it. TO cut costs shes been staying with friends...me mostly. But she stays the night with her best friend and apparently after alcohol and a little pot...stuff happened. As far as I know they made out and she doesnt remember if anything else happened after that. I mean I know in most situations like this would just be experimenting, but she's been with women before...nothing major, but we weren't dating. I don't mind, it's her life. At first glance it doesnt seem so bad and that's what I keep telling myself. But...she lied abou it. She didnt tell me at first...we had an early breakfast the next day. I jokingly said "You called me so early i thought you cheated on me or something" and she laughed it off. When i asked her what they did the night before, I got a total "yadda yadda" That weekend she behaved very strangely, calling me in tears and refusing to explain why...using the standard problems she had as a cover. The next monday I finally asked her point blank if she had done something and she denied it like crazy. She acted like it was a joke at first and then flat out lied to me. And she was a very convincing liar, as by the end she asked me "Look in my eyees. Do you believe me?" And I smiled and said yes. And after a few minutes she said she felt sick and finally came clean. We had a rough few days...I got equally drunlk and nearly made out with a girl but I held back...didn't feel right. So now we're still together and I feel so pathetic...it's been nearly 2 months and I can't get over it. I mean, it is my first cheated on scenario. And also...she's very apologetic and remorseful, but simultaneously, she seems to dodge total responsibility, blaming the alcohol and other substances. Also she lied to me so well and seemingly so easily...It's tough when you feel like you can't trust your best friend. She always used to try to make me jealous, like one of those stupid mind games couiples play, and now she's back at it and it doesn't seem remotely funny anymore. Or appropriate when she calls hanging out with the best friend a "hot date" Part of me feels like I'm overreacting, the other feels like I'm letting myself be pushed around. I just want to get over this...I want to scream out at the top of my lungs but I don't know what I want to say. Don't get me wrong, I have no problem with her being attracted to women...she doesn't really show any attraction to men, only women and me...sometimes I think she might be a lesbian. If she were, I'd support her. But I'm worried I'm putting myself in a bad situation.

>>Argh, sometimes I wish I was born a lesbian.... Hey, lesbianism isn't all roses either...lesbians are what got me into my troubles!

Oh I understand ya...I may not necessarily agree with what you do, but your story thus far kind of illustrates the shades of gray very well. You're not scum, but what you're doing is another story.

Sometimes I think I'm in that situation...it's a weird thing about life. I once met this girl who was beautiful, interesting, funny...nothing wrong with her...she liked me, but I just didn't feel the same way. Sometimes everything can be right and still end up wrong.

No offense taken...We had been friends for a year and a half before dating and certain things had to change as a result of the new dating scene...I wasn't too quick on the uptake.

I know I'm a bit late to posting but...heck I just found the board. I'm not dumped or broken up, but in an awkward period. My girlfriend cheated on me about a month ago...and it's weird because it's not like we were having problems...stuff just happened...a door to a fantasy she had was opened and she went in. But I'm still out here. And we're trying...we're both back at school together in the fall and agreed that perhaps the change of venue might help. That being said...ENOUGH IS ENOUGH! I don't deserve this, none of you deserve what's happened to you...we gotta take a stand! An E-Stand if necessary! ENOUGH IS ENOUGH!

My girlfriend has mostly male friends...turns out the males weren't the ones i had to deal with, but that's another story. It's kind of unnerving, I know. But you have to trust her love for you and you have to remember...she's with you and not them for a reason. Keep that in mind and you got it made in the shade.

It's always awkward when you're in the middle of something foreign, and being with someone you're getting to know is just that. You have to remember that you are entitled to your own lengths of comfort. That being said, you also owe yourself courage to try something new. Certainly if the person is asking you dangerous, serious stuff, then you should behave with caution. But you're talking to someone who started dating last year, before my 20th birthday. I was uncomfortable holding hands in public. Somethings...the serious stuff (sex, etc.) requires baby steps at a pace that you're comfortable with. But the lesser stuff you just have to step up and be yourself. If he/she doesn't like yourself, then it isn't worth your time. Remember...relationships should occur because you want it to. Not because you think you need someone...because you want to be with someone.

The most impact my male friends have on my girlfriend is any experiences they can relate that are similar. Most guys are competitive, so when you start dating, if they're single they'll try to make fun of me fo rbeing whipped. If they are dating, they amp up their girlfriend. But it's all in good nature fun for me. My guy friends and I have a brotherly quality...unless we think someone is in danger, we won't criticize who they're dating...to their faces anyway.

Yeah, fights are a natural part of any relationship...the closer you are the more things you will fight about I've found...If you're fighting all the time then you may need some help with your relationship. But fights are a fact of life...they help you grow and understand each other. But they ain't fun or easy, so don't go looking for them. I had my first fight a week into my first relationship...I felt like my entire life dripped away.

That's the biggest problem! Being pissed as all hell and turned on at the same time because it's two women. Such a pig.

Yup, MSColly...it's the knowledge that you can overcome it that often causes the nice guys and nice girls to get cheated on I'd say. The other person has seen that through thick and thin they've stayed together...it's a weird way of testing limits. It's this kind of "Well, I know he/she will always be their for me...so...tonight won't really matter!"

So many freakin' reasons why, and the worst part is the bulk of them aren't as simple as trying to hurt someone. The lack of a clear cut, black and white situation makes it much more frustrating in a way...in a clear, 100 percent vindictive betrayal you'd feel hurt but at least you know where you stand. Most reasons nowadays have nothing to do with the person you're cheating on. That's what compounds the pain...feeling like you weren't even acknowledged in your own relationship.

I always dig "I didn't plan it" or "I didn't mean to hurt you" cause apparently thats supposed to make you feel better. Oh, well it was an accident then...forget it! No harm, no foul. If I ever cause a car crash and used that as my defense, I'm fairly certain I'll still do time.

Hey Hey. This, like everything else in life, is complicated. I urge those of you who like your own sanity to look at another post. My girlfriend and I have been together for a year and a half. We;ve been friends for about three years Last summer she asked me what I would think about her doing something of a physical nature with her best friend, who is bisexual it seems. I told her hypothetically it was a hot concept but in actuality it would probably really upset me. When discussed it was made clear that if they were to do something, itd be just the two of them. I'm not all that comfortable with watchign two people go at it anyway. So basically we agreed that it wasn't a good idea. Case closed. Fast forward to this summer. I live in a city and she's working in the city but lives outside of it. TO cut costs shes been staying with friends...me mostly. But she stays the night with her best friend and apparently after alcohol and a little pot...stuff happened. As far as I know they made out and she doesnt remember if anything else happened after that. At first glance it doesnt seem so bad and that's what I keep telling myself. But...she lied abou it. She didnt tell me at first...we had an early breakfast the next day. I jokingly said "You called me so early i thought you cheated on me or something" and she laughed it off. When i asked her what they did the night before, I got a total "yadda yadda" That weekend she behaved very strangely, calling me in tears and refusing to explain why...using the standard problems she had as a cover. The next monday I finally asked her point blank if she had done something and she denied it like crazy. She acted like it was a joke at first and then flat out lied to me. And she was a very convincing liar, as by the end she asked me "Look in my eyees. Do you believe me?" And I smiled and said yes. And after a few minutes she said she felt sick and finally came clean. We had a rough few days...I got equally drunlk and nearly made out with a girl but I held back...didn't feel right. So now we're still together and I feel so pathetic...it's been nearly 2 months and I can't get over it. I mean, it is my first cheated on scenario. And also...she's very apologetic and remorseful, but simultaneously, she seems to dodge total responsibility, blaming the alcohol and other substances. Also she lied to me so well and seemingly so easily...It's tough when you feel like you can't trust your best friend. She always used to try to make me jealous, like one of those stupid mind games couiples play, and now she's back at it and it doesn't seem remotely funny anymore. Or appropriate when she calls hanging out with the best friend a "hot date" Part of me feels like I'm overreacting, the other feels like I'm letting myself be pushed around. I just want to get over this...I want to scream out at the top of my lungs but I don't know what I want to say. Alright, well sorry I babbled so much...just needed to get it out. COmmence making fun of me...now.