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herewegoagain

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  1. herewegoagain
    Syrix - thanks for your reply. Well, what you said made me realize that I don't want to bring it up because I don't want her to think I'm putting her down or always being depressive, needy, etc. I don't want to be like your ex bf. I guess it gets me that she will talk about her friends' relationships, etc. but not ours. Well, maybe I just analyze too much. And thanks for your point of view. It makes me realize that people just show their love in different ways. I guess other gf I've had were more open and said more. I just have to accept my current GF the way she is.
  2. herewegoagain
    Well, I've posted something similar last month, but I just don't know what to do anymore. My gf and I get along great, etc. But something just doesn't feel right about it to me. My gf will talk and talk about everything except "us." For example she will talk and talk about people I don't even know, and about their problems such as her friend's sister's brothers who said this to so and so and...blah...blah...blah. I don't care about these people she talks about because I don't even know them. I can't stand it anymore. Should I tell her how I feel? We've been dating for 5 months now, and the only time we have a conversation of substance is when I bring it up, and then she changes the subject ASAP. She just doesn't seem to care to talk about things about "us." I'm really sick and tired of bringing things up. And now, I've become passive aggressive with her - I don't want to tell her compliments anymore because I'm sick of being the first to say things, and I'm not going to bring "us" up anynore. Am I being too critical? I'm just not happy with the whole picture. But again, I love being with her, etc.
  3. herewegoagain
    Well, first of alll, I wouldn't call her anymore. I know that it will be hard for you, but do not call her anymore. By not calling her, you will accomplish 2 things: 1) You will heal a lot faster than if you were to keep calling her and crying to her. 2) She might realize what she has lost if you are not calling her all the time. But don't expect it. Again, DO NOT CALL HER. You must stick to it - do not give in. Calling will only make things worse. Trust me - I've been there. Get out there and make new friends and get to know people. You will find someone. Just be patient.
  4. herewegoagain
    Well for me, at my age (male, upper 30's), I'm glad I'm not a virgin because the odds of finding a woman who is a virgin close to my age is VERY VERY SLIM TO NONE. I wouldn't be able to accept it if I was a virgin and my gf or wife has been with 16 guys. I wouldn't be able to handle it. It's just one of my "issues."
  5. herewegoagain
    Obscurity - what a coincidence. I just put up a new post a minute ago. And I could have used the exact same words as you - EXACT. Except I am the man here. Yes, it sucks, and I don't know how much I can take anymore. I do all the giving and serious talks - she does nothing like that. I know where you are coming from. Maybe we need to stand back a little bit. I'm thinking of quitting giving the complimnets, serious talks, etc. I'll just start thinking of just having fun and not put so much effort into it. Maybe you should do the same.
  6. herewegoagain
    shikashika - i think she is lying because of what i posted before - that she first said that she has only been with one guy in the last 7 years, then she said that wasn't true. Also, she is 37 years old, so to me, 9 seems like a low number.
  7. herewegoagain
    No - I did not act disappointed with her number. In fact, I have no problem with it - but only if it is the TRUTH!!
  8. herewegoagain
    Basically, what I'm saying to you all is this - NO, the number does NOT matter. BUT, lying about it DOES matter. This is my opinion.
  9. herewegoagain
    shikashika - YES it is the myth that everyone lies is what makes me think she may be lying. Also, a while back, she claimed to have been with only 1 person in the last seven years (she brought this subject up, i didn't), and she then tells me a couple of weeks ago that that wasn't true - that she has been with more than the one in the last seven years. Also, many girls in my past have lied about it.
  10. herewegoagain
    sparkle - you are right, but we just talked about this stuff a couple of weeks ago, and I don't want to start an argument or accuse her of lying. i guess I can't win.
  11. herewegoagain
    shikashika - well, I'm thinking of "running" because I believe that my gf is lying about her number. She said 9 was her number, which, in my mind, that probably means about 15-20. I just wish I knew if she was lying. And I sure as heck don't want to bring it up again with her, but I truly believe she is lying. The "number" is not important - BUT LYING IS!!! If I found out she was lying a year or so from now, I'm not sure how I would handle it.
  12. herewegoagain
    I put up a post last week about discussing the number of past sexual partners with a significant other. Anyway, do most people lie? I think most do, (and studies indicate that woman usually lie by telling a lower number, and men lie by telling a higher number). What about your exeperiences with this? Did you or your bf/gf lie about this? Also, is it a big deal if one lies about this to their bf/gf?
  13. herewegoagain
    Thanks Bella - what you said makes total sense. I was just wondering, because I don't talk about "us" much either, but the few times we did, it was me who started it. I agree with you though, a couple shouldn't always have to talk about "us" all the time. Thanks for your input.
  14. herewegoagain
    Well, I've posted a few times in the last couple of months about my Gf, and things are going very well, but I have a concern that still bothers me at times. First of all, we are having a great time, are intimate, and we love being with each other. But the problem is, my gf never brings up the subject of "US" unlless I bring it up first. She says other things like she misses me, can't wait to see me again, etc., but nothing else. Should I be concerned about this? Sometimes I get the impression that she doesn't care as much about "us" as I do. Any suggestions?
  15. herewegoagain
    You ALL are really missing my point and ganging up on me. 1) Yes, I am wrong that it bothers me. 2) I just feel that a couple has a right to know each others "number." That is all I'm saying. I never judged my girlfriend in a bad way. We simply discussed it, and that was it. It just bothers me a little bit, which it should not. All I was doing is asking for help on how to not let it bother me.
  16. herewegoagain
    I think you all are misunderstanding - Yes - you all are right that the past is the past and it should not matter if you really love someone. BUT, the past is what makes you who you are today, so I think if a partner asks, one should tell the number. Also, I have never had any problem telling my previous girlfriends my "number". Whenever they asked me, I told them the honest answer. I have nothing to hide from someone if I really care about them.
  17. herewegoagain
    I tend to disagree with some of you who say you shouldn't ask the question of past number of partners. I think that a couple SHOULD know each others sexual past, and they have a right to know each other's "number." Wouldn't you want to know if your partner was with 100 people? I would want to know. wouldn't you??
  18. herewegoagain
    MissyM - did your bf ever ask about it? If so, what did you tell him?
  19. herewegoagain
    Cypress - I agree with you 100%. Thanks!
  20. herewegoagain
    Annie - I understand what you are saying. I will get over it. We just talked about this a few days ago, so it will just take a little time. It's not bothering me that much, but it does creep up in my mind sometimes. But I still care for her the same. And again, I'm honestly trying to figure out why I even care about all this, especially since my past is worse!!!! Why am I like this?
  21. herewegoagain
    "How did she porteay herself as innocent?" Well, she said she is very picky with who she goes out with, hasn't been intimate in a long time, and she would make comments how she hates when her friends "hook up" with guys they just met at a bar. But she admitted the other night that she also "hooked up" a few times herself. Again, I've "hooked up" a lot more than a few times, so I know that it SHOULD NOT bother me, but it does. I know it's wrong, so I need to get over it, but it is hard for me.
  22. herewegoagain
    Lovecrazy - what you said is totally right. I do know that I am wrong having a double standard. That's why I am posting my problem. I wanted people like you to talk some sense in to me. I guess the only thing that bothers me is the fact that she portrayed herself as Miss Innocent (in a lot of ways).
  23. herewegoagain
    The title of the post says it all. I know it's wrong to feel that way. Any suggestions?
  24. herewegoagain
    Scout - I don't think you were too hard about the "Rules." I was wondering the same thing. I just can't stand it much more with the way things are. Like I said before - I just feel like we are FRIENDS who kiss and make out a little bit. This really hurts because she is a great person.
  25. herewegoagain
    And another thing - I really do not think she is doing any of this on purpose or is going by any rules. I just think that this is the way she is. Can I be with someone like this? I'm not sure. Probably NOT.
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