Chisama

To RoboWarrior I want to appologize for not explaining that I have been living with the same young lady for already 1 semester (4months) and this is the second semester. At the beginning, we made a room agreement. We have a study time and a quiet time. We even have times when we have to clean the room. No boys/men are allowed to sleep over AT ALL and if she wants to have sex, make sure I am out of the room (I told her this at the beginning before all of this started. She did it anyway. I reported it.) unfortunately, she hasn't followed the contract since we agreed on it. We both signed it and she was the one that wrote the agreement. When she broke it I went to management. But I was wrong and i appologized, then and there at that time. I promised to her that I would talk to her next time something like this happened. Then when something did happened she refused to listen and we both got into an argument. I explained to her that why she couldn't (1. Leave the door unlocked and 2. why a larger number of guest after 1am is not fair to me.) I have valubles and I need sleep. You are right about me moving out I have plan to commute or purchase a room somewhere on campus or elsewhere. I didn't have a choice in my room or my roommate. I didn't even know she would be a freshman. I'm a junior. The maturity levels are way off. pinballwizard You are right. Even though I did tell my roommate and her guest 2-5 times to be quiet and to leave and go to the lobby, i should have used more force in my voice. I was asking politely and should have used more force. Also, I should have been more direct and told her not to have her company here late at night if they couldn't control their volume. I should have just said it out right. About the music, They were just singing random songs and whatever was on the radio. But the fact of the matter was that they were loud (like a parade or a stereo system on blast) and it was 3am. Overall, I don't have confidence in management anymore and I feel that the next time I make my way to anyone's office, it will be when she reports me. I am not going to loose my mind, but I will not allow it anymore. either she follows the contract that i am still following or she moves.

I had just came from a meeting and i was left feeling like I wasted someone else's time. My roommate and I have been getting along for sometime. Her friends were over while my friend and I were working on a movie. They were very noisy singing songs 3:00 in the morning! I found it very inconsiderate at the fact that my friend and I were trying to get our work done and the ladies didn't notice that it was late and they were not outside but indoors @ night. I thought to myself, "The next time this happens I am going to tell the to 'LEAVE'!" However, as much as I thought of them as being rude I wasn't going to act like them. So I asked my RM after all of the company had left, "Does your company know when to leave?" She said she didn't know. I felt as if she didn't know how to control her company. I left the conversation at that and got back to work. Within seconds she was out like a log. I didn't finish until 7am. Because of me being tired I didn't go to class today. Later, I wanted to confront my RM but not the way I thought I should act, so I went to the RA to asked for help so that I wouldn't be so blunt in my actions. But I needed to drop off my notebook bag. As I was about to turn the key, i noticed the door was already unlocked. My RM was nowhere in the room. (come to find out she was doing laundry around the corner) My RM states that it is and INCONVIENCE to lock the door. ARE YOU SERIOUS? It was then that I went to the RA and explained my purpose for being there and the door issue. The meeting went like this: RA: (States everything I told her to my RM about her company.) My roommate claimed they were loud but that they did quiet down after I asked. This was true. But then I stated that they got loud again and this time they were singing out loud. I kept saying there was nothing wrong with that, but NOT AT 3AM!!!! The RA thought I was sleep during that time and I had to explain to her what my friend and I was working. We couldn't concentrate. I had asked if they could take their cd's and go to the lobby where there is more room. But because our room is so comfortable everyone migrates to this place (So says the RM). I had just found out that 3 out of the 4 girls that come to my room have no other RM's SO WHY DON'T THEY HANG OUT THERE! I'M THE ONE THAT IS BEING PENALIZED FROM THIS! My RM feels betrayed that I would go to the RA. But I explained to her what I was feeling and I felt that I should asked someone higher to help me with the situation. Yet when I went in there it was like, I was the bad guy. About the lock on the door. The RA just said just lock the door. Simple. To my RM and we had to explain to her why, AGAIN. I told her last semester about this! In the end, they still want me to talk more to my roommate. I didn't want to be blunt and just tell her friends to "Get Out!" due to frustration. I thought I was doing us a favor but instead... I ended up being the bad guy. We agreed to having company before 1am. Afterwards they should either quiet down, "YEAH RIGHT!" or go somewhere else (NOT GOING TO HAPPEN). She is locking the door. So that's a start. Other than that, I don't see there really being a change..... TO BE CONTINUED. Really.... do you think I did the right thing?

I even went higher and spoke to one of the managers. All they will tell me is that it cost $300 to move out. If I find someone to take my place in my room then the exchange is free. I just have to find somewhere else to stay. The place I want to stay has thicker walls and I can get a room to myself. But it is a freshman dorm I have to hope and pray the person next to me is an upperclassman or I could just make the rules strict to make sure I don't have too much of a problem. The other place is with the upper classmen but it cost a little more. I have to see if my Fin. Aid takes care of it. I'm still in the decition making process, but as for now this is what I have to deal with. I thank you for your time. I greatly appreciate it!

Hi, This is like my 3rd year in college and I have to agree that this is the hardest semester ever. Not only do I have a lot of work to do, but I have to maintain a grade point average. I have transfered and I get a chance to start fresh but there is one problem. I am roomed up with a child. If you have every read any of my past post you would notice that I have had Roommate problems before. I say that she isn't the worst.... but I was wrong. She is the most immature of them all! I can not get any sleep and I plan on seeing someone about anger management.... I know it's okay to get angry.. but she is really testing me to see how far I can go before I snap and really beat her * * *. I have been straight to the RA about our problems and she has been upset that I don't directly come to her. Let me tell you my reason. 1. When I first met her.. She didn't say hello. ( I was directly in front of her. Her mother claimed that she was in a bad mood. But she didn't acknowledge that I was in the room.) 2. She is VERY inconsiderate. She sleeps during the day and is up all night on the phone. Our dorms do not have doors so I can hear everything. She is not quiet at all. The radio is on 24/7 3. We signed a room agreement and I seem to be the only one following it. She thinks that just because the RA doesn't care about the weekends we can keep guest past the visiting hours. 4. I am so tired of talking and hearing that our paring up can work out. (It's not working, I am still awake.) Usually, she leave to visit a boyfriend and it is then that I can get some sleep. However, she usually leaves around 2 to 3 in the morning. Yesterday, it was 5am! I don't know what to do. I don't want to start going crazy. I am trying to see if I can get out of here without paying so much, but it cost too much to stay with the upper classmen. I really don't know what to do. Please someone help me out before I do something I regret. ](*,)

Thanks. That just could be it. I haven't been out with guys actually at all minus a high school crush. (wasn't much of a relationship besides the first kiss) but all in all it is hard and very lonely like this. I should focus on school and be patient a little longer. I try, but then again me being the way I am ( constantly working and very little knowlegde about dating) how am I suppose to know?

Hi. There is this guy I like. We both went to the same high school and he was my prom date. We hang out at the movies or his house and then we dinner afterwards at a Japanese restuarant (on more than one occasion) and we call or chat with each other often, if not everyday. There are time I wish I could hang out with him and all, but we go to separate colleges and when he comes back in town ( during the summer) we might go out. I told him i liked him one day. But all he could say was that I am his, "very,very,very... best friend." I was happy he did shoot me down too hard. But what does this mean? I have another problem that might have lead to my reaction to get me to say that or even now think that, but I have to save that for another forum. Overall, What does this mean? Many say he is in denial or that I did it out of jelousy so he wouldn't go out with other girls. (he was planning to date someone. But he didn't go. He didn't really like her, but didn't want to hurt her feelings. So he stood her up. I didn't agree to that and said he was wrong for it.)

Okay, I told the guy that I like him. I had been hanging out with him for 3 years. We had been going out and just spending time together. I can tell him anything. But this time it was the feeling of rejection that i didn't want. It was hard but I told him. His response... " You are the my best best friend in the whole world." He didn't shoot me down, but I still felt like I had lost something. It wasn't painful, but it was just that feeling. This must mean that he wants to be friends. Am I reading right? We still talk and I'm happy about that. But I don't want to push myself on him. So i guess I should calm my nerves and wait. What do you think?

I just would like to read someone's opinion about the situation i'm going through. Sorry if I'm being such a baby, but this is one of those "Guy" questions. I didn't mean to post the same statement under two topics. I'm so selfish sometimes.

That's all they could say? I mean, "I'm sorry i should listen to you more" or just "I'm sorry." These are more of aquaintences, there may come a time in ur life where you don't have to be "In the Crowd." If you want people to listen to you, hang out with people that will listen to you. They are not interested in ur well being. Talk to the other one and see what that person says. Maybe out of the 4 one of them will listen. I have friends that I can talk to. They don't want to talk to me... then fine... just move on. There are plenty of other people around.

Plus if he is a real friend then you shouldn't have any problem asking him. The way I see I'd rather have real friends that tell me the truth than to have aquaintances that tell me anything.

Good thing i read this before I typed the question.

Also, (advice given from someone else) If ur such good friends going back to being friends may not be as hard, just in case it doesn't work out. But that's cool you want to get to know her. Learn more by hanging out with her.

Easy said than done.....There are more fish in the sea. Just let her go. You can't command her to just go out with you, she's just not interested and she's being nice about it (she doesn't want to reject him just like that).

Have you spoken to them and told them how you feel?

kay so remember when DN asked me about him having a girlfriend? Well, it's not a girlfriend... it's a date. From what he told me the girl is forcing him to go out with her. He says that when he said "no." she starts to whine and then moan... then she starts grinding on him in public. He can't help but say "yes." I said he was thinking with his penis. I asked him, why do you take me out? "Because it's fun." I said, "Really?" "Yeah, especially when you scare the waiters and the service people. That's always a laugh." He also said that I have a lot of facial expressions especially when it comes to food. ( okay, i LOVE food.) But how am i to interprete this? Am i just over reacting? We're not boyfriend and girlfriend. But if this was a relationship i would be the one calling the shots! He always lets me make the calls. I don't know. I like him. But it's rare when I get a chance to go out. Believe it or not he is my first date. From prom till now. The only place i went was a wedding from another friend. That was about it. But I don't see me or the other guy getting together at all. I told him about it... but you know he was just like "Shotgun Marriage!" It was funny, but was it all a joke and just that?

Okay so remember when DN asked me about my friend having a girlfriend? Well, it's not a girlfriend... it's a date. From what he told me the girl is forcing him to go out with her. He says that when he said "no." she starts to whine and then moan... then she starts grinding on him all of this in public. He can't help but say "yes." I said he was thinking with his penis. I asked him, why do you take me out? "Because it's fun." I said, "Really?" "Yeah, especially when you scare the waiters and the service people. That's always a laugh." He also said that I have a lot of facial expressions especially when it comes to food. ( okay, i LOVE food.) But how am i to interprete this? Am i just over reacting? We're not boyfriend and girlfriend. I asked him about going out with a guy that asked me out for a date. But I just didn't feel right about going out with another guy when I was usually out with him. I don't know. I like him. But it's rare when I get a chance to go out. Believe it or not he is my first date. From prom till now. The only place i went was a wedding from another friend. That was about it. But I don't see me or the other guy getting together at all. I told him about it... but you know he was just like "Shotgun Marriage!" It was funny, but was it all a joke and just that?

I didn't think of it that way. Smittenkitten, that is a nice way without "ruining it." And DN I guess if he had a girlfriend at first I would encourage him... but then on the inside it would tear me apart. I guess I would be in denial about it. Letting it evolve naturally does seem like a good idea. I'll try that first and if it does seem like it's going somewhere, just to be sure, I'll flirt a little... Ummmm I didn't think about that. Thanks!

I have a friend that I have been hanging out with for 3 years. He was in my high school orchestra class and I really didn't pay him any attention until prom when my ex-boyfriend broke up with me and then I found out he couldn't got to the prom anyway. So I went with the guy in orchestra. Turns out that they are best friends. But he didn't object and hi best friend didn't say anything to him about him going with me. BTW, prom was NICE. Now, were in college. Its been 2 years. I've talking to him everyday and we go out a lot. When we talk and we make eye contact we can actually keep that way for a moment. The he might look away. But I was always taught that good eye contact was another way of conmunication plus it's polite. So how could this be different. My brother says that we like each other but we just can't seem to get that question out (would you be my boyfriend/girlfriend). He like "What the Hell are you waiting for?" I don't know. I don't even know if it is that kind of relationship. Plus this friendship that we have ,i don't want to ruin it. Ur on the outside looking in, tell me what you think?

Thanks soooooo much. (later) .... wait a minute. Do i actually sound that hurt? I mean i do like talking to him. But then again.... See this is what i'm talking about. I like him, but then i don't. I'll call him and let him know... That's final.

Well, okay. I wanna tell him. I have to courage to tell him now. But you think i should tell him the next time he emails me or see's me at work. Or now? unless someone else has more advice....

But he keeps in touch with me. I haven't called him in soo long. Also, my friiend is the one that bridges me to him. He might three way us. Just to all work together. He knows where i work, soo sometimes, he comes by just to say hi. So, just tell him to stop coming?

I once went with this guy in high school. We talked a lot and hung out many times. One day, he was told by someone else how much he was admired by me and that is when we started going out with one another. He gave me my first kiss, which was by the way the best experience i have had in my life. His exgirlfriend found out about the relationship and she and her friends threatened to fight me if he didn't break up with me. One of the girls ( who hung out with her) had a class with me and she was the one that had told him how much i admired him. I was stabbed in the back. He lied and told me that we acted too much like friend to be boyfriend and girlfriend, and that he didn't want to ruin this relationship by stupidity. Too Late. After that moment i didn't speak to him for months. I also cried (not in front of him) but to myself for his foolishness and his need to impress everyone. It wasn't fair to me. (I had transfer from one high school to another durring my 11th grade year and he was one of the coolest friends i had ever had.) Some friend. Also, No offense to others, he was a Jehova Witness and he wasn't allowed to have a girlfriend outside of his religion. Niether am i, I'm Christian - Baptist, and there was going to be complications in our relationship unless he converted to Christianity properly. After he broke up with me, my brother hated him. So now, he doesn't have a great relationship with my family. Now that we are out of high school and i'm in my 2nd year of college, he is in trade school. I really miss him and i find it very hard to move on. I try tell myself so many reasons why i shouldn't be with him. I even call him names just to stay away from the thought of him. But there are times i could call him and tell him that i miss him. But then i will send signals that he doesn't need to know until i get my priorities straight. His exgirlfriend by the way still hates me. She threatened to commit suicide if he didn't get back with her. He ignored her but fell for it later when her bestfriend threw herself infront of a car because her friend (the guys exgirlfriend) was sooo depressed. I cried. How could he be sooo stupid to fall for such CRAP. Now, i just want someone soo much different. I want someone like him but stronger. Now that he is on his own, i wonder has he learned that? i can't change him. He has to change himself. I need advice, i wanna call him, but i don't want to say or do the wrong thing. I love talking to him. But i am putting myself at risk. Well, i think?

I'm not expert, but I hope this kinda helps you out. I actually had my first kiss when i was 17. I told my boyfriend that i have never kiss a guy before and that i hope he wouldn't be disappointed. He understood. That's how much i trusted him. I trusted him enough to give me the first kiss. What my point is, is that to tell her how you feel. If you know she will kiss you back, then relax and try it. Or, why don't you ask her when ur alone. "Can I kiss you?" This may work, hopefully it the pressure don't kill you, but she will look forward to a kiss and you can relax and give her one. But remember to let her know how you feel. She just might find it sweet and give you one instead.

Thank you. I had gotten the same response from a classmate. I needed more people to give their opionion. However, i spoke to him about how i felt. He actually understood more than i thought he would. Now that he really wants to get back with me. We both recognize that we have a huge problem. It is with his current girlfriend and her friends who were the people that had separated us the first time. This is the only reason that i am afraid we can't be seen together without the 3 (in total) jumping me. They won't hurt him. I don't want to fight at all. I'm soooooo close to graduation, i don't need any screw-ups now. I have a class with one of the 3 and she sits right behind me. I am a very social person, however i watch what i say, and having her behind me is a very dangerous thing. She just might go postal and hurt me. Only if he is around will they not touch me. But they will try to get to him again. I'm not going with the school. All i want to go with is him.

Hi, i'm the neewbie Chisama. I have a slight problem. I met this guy a few months ago. Anyway, I had just arrived at this school my junior year second semester. I was down an out because i had left all my friends behind. I had met many people before and found really nice friends. However one morning, i saw this guy. I never really believed in Love at first site, but at that moment it made be a believer. (but now, i just think that it was just a phase) I had spoken to this guy and for the rest of that semester, i just wanted to get to know him before i jump to conclusions. a few weeks later i learned that he just had just got a girlfriend. i was jelous, however, because i had just arrived there, i decided not to act on anything. it wasn't my place. When school was out me and this guy spent some time together. We both were like so close. it was as if i had known him some time ago. A few days later he had got a call from his girlfriend. she was fussing with him over some drama he wasn't responsible for and she blamed him. She didn't even trust the guy. I talk to him about it, trying to not put my jelously before me. I spoke to him as a friend and i told him how concern i was. A few weeks later he dumps her and goes with me. For a while the relationship goes great and slow. I thought that was perfect. We had a few problems here and there, but we stayed together. That's when his x-girlfriend's friend got wind of the successful relationship. They would hangout in groups and stair me down as if i had commited the worst sin. They wouldn't talk to me and they were mad one day when i wore his gersey. What was ironic was that these were his friends. I thought that they would support him. One day he over heard them talking about ending the relationship. What i mean by that, was fighting me. I call my x-boyfriend a weak person, he is greatly affected by peer pressure, because that sameday of the fight, he broke up with me. what made it worse was that the ladies got to him. From what i have seen with in the time that i have been here is that he does not like to hurt his friends and evern if it means hurting himself he will not like to lose any friend of his. Well, for a moment and 2 months he lost me. Later called me to appologize. He kept calling to make sure i was okay. He say's he didn't mean to hurt me, but it was the only way to keep us from not getting expelled from school. After a few months, his girlfriend still treats him like dirt. He tell me he doesn't like it, but he is affraid that they may take the anger out on me if he breaks up. I don't want to steal him, but i want him back. She doesn't deserve someone like him. I really miss him.