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Thread: Why is my best friend of 11 years ghosting after moving out of friendzone

  1. #11
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    Do you want a romantic relationship with him?

  2. #12
    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
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    Sorry to hear this. It sounds like he is too freshly out of a relationship and the nebulous nature of what was happening (friend? fwb? dating? etc) simply made him step back. It's just too much too soon.

    Further, he may have started dating so his physical needs are being met without contacting you. Frankly it's quite poor behavior from someone you call a friend. Ghost him back. Stop chasing anyone like this. You are better off dating someone.
    Originally Posted by courtneyross52
    \
    He broke off his relationship about a month ago
    weve hung out a few times hooked up once or twice and I know he wants it to go further physically because he has mentioned it.
    he stopped answering me and ignored my texts.

  3. #13
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    Originally Posted by boltnrun
    Do you want a romantic relationship with him?
    Ive been single for quite some time now so yes ideally a relationship would be nice.. when we are together it is so fun and comfortable between us and I guess I just read the situation a different way than he did. I cant decide if continuing to hang out with him is a good idea or not. I really love the time we spend together but this feeling sucks

  4. #14
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    Thank you :( its tough but I know youre right. Just hurts is all

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  6. #15
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    Originally Posted by courtneyross52
    Ive been single for quite some time now so yes ideally a relationship would be nice.. when we are together it is so fun and comfortable between us and I guess I just read the situation a different way than he did. I cant decide if continuing to hang out with him is a good idea or not. I really love the time we spend together but this feeling sucks
    I would not continue to hang out with him and I certainly would not continue to "hook up" with him. If you want to be in a relationship with him but he views you as a friend he has occasional sex with, it will hurt especially bad when he starts dating someone else.

  7. #16
    Platinum Member figureitout23's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by courtneyross52
    Ive been single for quite some time now so yes ideally a relationship would be nice.. when we are together it is so fun and comfortable between us and I guess I just read the situation a different way than he did. I cant decide if continuing to hang out with him is a good idea or not. I really love the time we spend together but this feeling sucks
    Well if hes ghosting you hanging out with him isnt really an option anyway.

    You have control over you though.

    The only choice in your control right now unfortunately is whether you move on or continue he pinning hoping he will eventually feel the same, which hey its a possibility, but again be realistic about your options you technically have none right now, you cant ghost someone back thats not how it works, hes kinda dangling the carrot and youre calling into work, hes got the power right now.

    Take yours back.

  8. #17
    Platinum Member Cherylyn's Avatar
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    He's ghosting you because it's easier to drop you off the face of this Earth than man up and do the right thing which is explain anything to you right to your face. Ghosting is a cowardly act.

    Since your texts have been ignored, return the favor and ghost him back PERMANENTLY. Never grovel, expect explanations for abhorrent behavior and learn to move on with your life WITHOUT him. He's a loser. Leave him a lone. You deserve to be with a true real best friend who acts like one.

    I'm sorry you're hurt. Transform your hurt into strong intelligence and strength. Who needs him? You don't. You deserve to be with people who treat your with respect and common sense kindness. Everyone else is a REJECT.

    Think straight and then you'll have clarity. Step back and look at the big picture, brush yourself off and soldier on with wisdom. You'll be ok!

  9. #18
    Platinum Member catfeeder's Avatar
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    He broke off his relationship about a month ago
    He's likely focused on old business. People don't 'intend' to rebound, so it's up to each of us to look out for ourselves by screening out anyone who's fresh out of a breakup as lousy relationship material. It doesn't mean they're lousy people, but it does mean that they have lousy judgment. So it makes no sense to mess around with anyone who hasn't yet had the time to stabilize solo as they resolve old business.

    I would ghost him back--not as 'punishment' for blowing me off, but simply because anyone who's in the headspace to blow someone off won't have anything of value to offer as a reason why. They are not relationship material. Period. Better to just walk away, and if the guy ever grows enough as a human being to reflect and want to make this up to you, that's the only conversation worth having, and it would need to come from him.

    Head high, we all live and learn.

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