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Thread: He Rejected Me - I Still Want Friendship

  1. #21
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    Originally Posted by ConfusedLady21
    You're entitled to your thoughts and opinions. But as a moderator, I am surprised that you do not use a more empathetic approach considering the majority of us on here are heart broken/ dealing with matters of the heart. That's not something to be nasty about despite your disclaimer.
    Yes, I wanted to be friends because I haven't been THIS excited about a man since my first love. Maybe I got excited by the lovely fake words he said.. but you cannot fake intelligence.
    I want to associate with intelligent people who are light years ahead of me. He sent me so much information, I liked that. He helped me out and inspired me so much. I enjoyed that. THAT'S why I want to be his friend, not because I think I have a chance with him. Cut a girl some slack
    Capricorn is spot on! She is trying to knock some sense into you. I would even go as far as suggesting therapy. If we can smell the desperation, he certainly can. You saw the guy twice. You need to get this in perspective.

  2. #22
    Bronze Member ConfusedLady21's Avatar
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    Sheesh, tough crowd. Yes I am a bit of a loner figuring things out. The friends in my circle isn't as advanced. I am trying to get myself into a stronger crowd by studying daily and becoming strong myself. He inspired me, he helped me. I'm not attached I just way to say hi from time to time. How is that bad? I don't write about people who don't make a strong impression on me. I've been with men I don't care for and you guys don't know about them

  3. #23
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    I think you should focus on expanding your friend circle. Check out volunteering, Meetups, New hobbies, classes, outdoor activity clubs, anything. If you had a fuller life, you would not get so overly involved with strangers.

    Expand your education and go back to school.

  4. #24
    Bronze Member ConfusedLady21's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by Hollyj
    I think you should focus on expanding your friend circle. Check out volunteering, Meetups, New hobbies, classes, outdoor activity clubs, anything. If you had a fuller life, you would not get so overly involved with strangers.

    Expand your education and go back to school.
    I'm in school. I am volunteering my weekends to help out to feed the homeless. I have been in countless networking events. I educate myself, listening to self help audios, I read self help daily. I am making proactive steps daily to focus on myself and build myself and my life. I am not screwing off my life, I take it very seriously, but I also have limited education on love and relationship building. Just because I expose my vulnerabilities here and express how I feel about certain people does not make me a clueless idiot. Please give me a little more credit than that. Everyone always assume the worst.

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  6. #25
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    No one said you are an idiot. We simply do not understand why you would want to continue any sort of relationship with someone you deem "manipulative," and who you barely know? What a waste of time. You should focus on meeting better people.

    You cannot be friends with someone if there are feelings. I am concerned that you were crying over someone that you went on two coffee dates with.

  7. #26
    Bronze Member ConfusedLady21's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by Hollyj
    No one said you are an idiot. We simply do not understand why you would want to continue any sort of relationship with someone you deem "manipulative," and who you barely know? What a waste of time. You should focus on meeting better people.

    You cannot be friends with someone if there are feelings. I am concerned that you were crying over someone that you went on two coffee dates with.
    I get that. Honestly, why was I crying is because we talked every day for months. At first, he told me that he wanted to change my last name and put a ring on my finger. Of course super unrealistic flirting.. That unfamiliar excitement that I haven't felt in years creeped in. Quickly, I opened up to him and allowed myself to feel comfortable. That's not something that just happens with just anyone, I have had men try to get me to open up . Acquaintances are nice, but this man excited me. Rejection bites, so I cried a little. It's back to being bored..

  8. #27
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    Female.

    Capricorn is here to moderate not to suppress her own thoughts.
    And the post wasnít lacking empathy.

    I dated someone for a while but called it off. It was only meant to be a short term fwb thing but he started behaving like a bf and I never agreed to a relationship with him.
    After I rejected him he pleaded to be friends after a couple weeks no contact.
    But then as friends he was contacting me too much .

    We remained friends for about 8 months but everyso often I would have to remind him thatís all we are.
    After 8 months of supposed friendship he started to lose his hope (that I never gave him) and finally he is starting to grieve and has gone into nc with me. Which I of course am fine with.

    He suppressed his feelings for so long and now he is finally dealing with them.
    I suggest you do too!

  9. #28
    Bronze Member ConfusedLady21's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by Billie28
    Female.

    Capricorn is here to moderate not to suppress her own thoughts.
    And the post wasnít lacking empathy.

    I dated someone for a while but called it off. It was only meant to be a short term fwb thing but he started behaving like a bf and I never agreed to a relationship with him.
    After I rejected him he pleaded to be friends after a couple weeks no contact.
    But then as friends he was contacting me too much .

    We remained friends for about 8 months but everyso often I would have to remind him thatís all we are.
    After 8 months of supposed friendship he started to lose his hope (that I never gave him) and finally he is starting to grieve and has gone into nc with me. Which I of course am fine with.

    He suppressed his feelings for so long and now he is finally dealing with them.
    I suggest you do too!

    Thank you for sharing your experience. Very insightful, and I don't want to end up like him. I don't think I would be as pushy or try to get as close as how he did things.

  10. #29
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    If it's a risk you're willing to take, then go for it. Just don't have any high hopes nor expectations. The worst he can do is ignore you and then you can respectfully leave him alone and don't bother him anymore.

  11. #30
    Bronze Member ConfusedLady21's Avatar
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    True, you guys are right though. No use in becoming friends with a player. Their goal is only one thing.. if you don't give that to them, why would they waste their breath? Thanks for the tough love you guys

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