TanishaHart Posted April 15, 2019 Share Posted April 15, 2019 Good day people. I’m 36 So I’ve been seeing an older seperated guy (50)for almost a year . Lately his disappearing acts have become annoying . For instance, he came over on Tuesday and stayed the night. The next morning he said he’d come back over after the movies with his daughter. HE NEVER DID. No call no response to my texts NOTHING.. Following day he was leaving for NJ and I was to fly the following day to accompany him..) STILL NO CALL NO RESPONSE NOTHING. It has now been 5 days 😩. He’s a decent respectful guy that doesn’t cheat BUT should I think now? Link to comment
Gary Snyder Posted April 15, 2019 Share Posted April 15, 2019 How separated is he? What's the whole story? Link to comment
Hollyj Posted April 15, 2019 Share Posted April 15, 2019 Good day people. I’m 36 So I’ve been seeing an older seperated guy (50)for almost a year . Lately his disappearing acts have become annoying . For instance, he came over on Tuesday and stayed the night. The next morning he said he’d come back over after the movies with his daughter. HE NEVER DID. No call no response to my texts NOTHING.. Following day he was leaving for NJ and I was to fly the following day to accompany him..) STILL NO CALL NO RESPONSE NOTHING. It has now been 5 days 😩. He’s a decent respectful guy that doesn’t cheat BUT should I think now? He is NOT a respectful guy! Why do you put up with this garbage? After the second incident, I would have been done. He does not respect or value you. You are a booty call. Expect more for yourself. I missed that he is still married. Ugh. He is too old for you, too! Link to comment
reinventmyself Posted April 15, 2019 Share Posted April 15, 2019 I don't need to know anymore. Pure and simple. I'd consider it unacceptable and I'd block him. Trying to figure out why would be a total waste of valuable time. Why does he disappear and then reappear? Because you let him. Block him and then raise your standards. Link to comment
SarahLancaster Posted April 15, 2019 Share Posted April 15, 2019 Not showing up is extremely disrespectful. Don't let him keep you on a string like this. Link to comment
maew Posted April 15, 2019 Share Posted April 15, 2019 It isn't respectful of him to leave you hanging for days at a time, nor is it respectful of him to flake on you without any sort of communication or update. I'm with reinvent personally.... no explanation necessary from his side, this kind of behavior is a deal breaker for me no matter what the excuse is. It isn't that hard to either follow through on the commitment or to communicate with the person letting them know what's going on. Link to comment
Fudgie Posted April 15, 2019 Share Posted April 15, 2019 It's disrespectful on his part and I question how really "separated" he is. Link to comment
Clio Posted April 15, 2019 Share Posted April 15, 2019 He is still married He keeps pulling dissappearing acts Therefore, he is not respectful nor decent Plus, he is 14 years older than you which is old At 50 he should know better But then again, at 36 so should you. Link to comment
Hollyj Posted April 15, 2019 Share Posted April 15, 2019 He is still married He keeps pulling dissappearing acts Therefore, he is not respectful nor decent Plus, he is 14 years older than you which is old At 50 he should know better But then again, at 36 so should you. When one lacks self esteem, this is what they tolerate. Link to comment
MissCanuck Posted April 15, 2019 Share Posted April 15, 2019 Good day people. I’m 36 So I’ve been seeing an older seperated guy (50)for almost a year . Lately his disappearing acts have become annoying . For instance, he came over on Tuesday and stayed the night. The next morning he said he’d come back over after the movies with his daughter. HE NEVER DID. No call no response to my texts NOTHING.. Following day he was leaving for NJ and I was to fly the following day to accompany him..) STILL NO CALL NO RESPONSE NOTHING. It has now been 5 days 😩. He’s a decent respectful guy that doesn’t cheat BUT should I think now? No, he's really not. Is he still living with his wife? Link to comment
SherrySher Posted April 15, 2019 Share Posted April 15, 2019 You call that respectful? He sees you as a booty call who will sit and wait while he does what he pleases and has no respect to even bother with a quick text. Why would you let a man treat you this way and says it's okay? Link to comment
ThatwasThen Posted April 15, 2019 Share Posted April 15, 2019 He's married He's not separated You are a booty call. Surely you know this? Link to comment
TanishaHart Posted April 16, 2019 Author Share Posted April 16, 2019 Your right. But I’m so into him. At the beginning he told me he doesn’t want a girlfriend ( that was a yr ago) I respected that and never pressured him, making myself available to him all the time. We always meet at hotel room.. Fast forward Embarrassingly enough This (disappearances)has happened over several times 😞 Link to comment
TanishaHart Posted April 16, 2019 Author Share Posted April 16, 2019 Yes. I am aware.. I like spending time with him even though it’s usually only in the bedroom. He’s taken me on trips and it’s always a pleasure but that’s where it ends.Him and his wife have been separated for 2 1/2 years and they don’t live together. They have a 23-year-old daughter and a 15-year-old son. At the beginning he Made it clear that he doesnt want a girlfriend. He also said that him and his wife are waiting to get a divorce until the son finishes high school. He just started his freshman year Link to comment
TanishaHart Posted April 16, 2019 Author Share Posted April 16, 2019 I know. I basically signed up for it 😞Because at the beginning he told me he doesn’t want a girlfriend. Yet I kept seeing him.. each and every time he disappears he apologizes and has an excuse 😞. And I never once gave him any slack for it Link to comment
TanishaHart Posted April 16, 2019 Author Share Posted April 16, 2019 Him and his wife have been separated for 2 1/2 years and haven’t lived together in two years. They have a 23-year-old daughter and a 15-year-old son. Reason why they haven’t divorced yet he says is they are waiting until his son finishes high school. Because it’ll be financially beneficial for the both of them he says. Link to comment
TanishaHart Posted April 16, 2019 Author Share Posted April 16, 2019 Your right . Besides this he such a good guy and we never had an argument. When we’re together It seems like all my problems go away .. idk I do honestly think that he Keeps doing this because I never gave him any About it. But this is the first time he actually Ditched me before a trip We were supposed to go on. I know he definitely went on the trip. He’s an avid poker player so hes into the tournaments Link to comment
TanishaHart Posted April 16, 2019 Author Share Posted April 16, 2019 Yes him and his wife have been separated for 2 1/2 years and not live together for two years. They have a 23-year-old daughter and a 15-year-old son whom they’re waiting to Finish high school to get a divorce he says. He says it’s financially beneficial to the both of them Link to comment
TanishaHart Posted April 16, 2019 Author Share Posted April 16, 2019 No they’ve been separated for 2 1/2 years and not live together for two years Link to comment
reinventmyself Posted April 16, 2019 Share Posted April 16, 2019 We always meet at hotel room.. Fast forward Embarrassingly enough This (disappearances)has happened over several times 😞 Enough about him. Why would you agree to this? Why don't you believe you deserve better? Link to comment
Gary Snyder Posted April 16, 2019 Share Posted April 16, 2019 Your right. But I’m so into him. At the beginning he told me he doesn’t want a girlfriend ( that was a yr ago) I respected that and never pressured him, making myself available to him all the time. We always meet at hotel room.. Fast forward Embarrassingly enough This (disappearances)has happened over several times 😞 Okay, so he is separated and living apart from his wife. But he told you in the beginning that he was not ready for a relationship. This is because he's on the rebound, not healed yet from the breakup from his wife and not ready to love again. And you are the rebound girl, sorry. I hate to tell you this, but you are already being rejected when he disrespects you by not doing what he says, and this disrespectful behavior will likely continue as long as you decide to stay with him and let him play you. What's worse, he will eventually find another woman and drop you, or just plain drop you. To have a happy relationship, you need to be respected by your man. You need to drop this guy. If you can't do that, date other guys and try to find a replacement, a healthy guy ready for love, who won;t drag your heart through the gutter. Don't ever play with a married man. Link to comment
TanishaHart Posted April 16, 2019 Author Share Posted April 16, 2019 Idk. I really like him. I don’t see anyone else .🤷🏾♀️ Link to comment
TanishaHart Posted April 16, 2019 Author Share Posted April 16, 2019 He had a girlfriend right before me and he said that she broke up with him because of the wife Link to comment
reinventmyself Posted April 16, 2019 Share Posted April 16, 2019 Idk. I really like him. I don’t see anyone else .🤷🏾♀️ It's ok to like someone and at the same time recognize that they are not good for you. Link to comment
katrina1980 Posted April 16, 2019 Share Posted April 16, 2019 I do honestly think that he Keeps doing this because I never gave him any **** About it. Tanisha, please learn about men and how they fall in love. He'd probably have more respect for you if you did give him crap about it. It's the exact opposite of what you're thinking! By crap I mean asserting your boundaries and not tolerating his bull shyt. You do this quietly, without drama. As it stands now, he sees you as not respecting yourself, always being available, meeting him for sex in hotel rooms, accepting such poor treatment. How in the world would you ever expect him to respect you and/or develop feelings for you when you don't respect yourself? You may be able to flip this around, BUT you need to start asserting some strong boundaries, do not make yourself available to him whenever he's horny and wants booty (ugh!!), think more highly of yourself, raise your standards. Pull back. Let him wonder about whether or not you like him!! In general I think you should have that attitude, men will respect your more, and will draw them to you, want a relationship with you if they think you're a good fit. I don't mean to be harsh, but right now he sees you as a doormat, and that is a huge turn off for any guy, any person! Link to comment
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