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Thread: Trying with a girl again after not talking to her for months

  1. #1
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    Trying with a girl again after not talking to her for months

    Before I start, I am a sophomore in high school. During the end of the previous school year and around midway through the summer, I started liking a girl. Me, having low self confidence at the time, would always text and rarely come up to her in person. Although, when I did, there was clearly interest, based on the way she acted around me and the way she talked to me, I am almost 100% sure there was.

    During the summer, after a lot more talking over text, I decided to ask if she would want to go on a date. This was kind of stupid of me, as I should have waited and talked to her in person more, but how I felt about myself was not going to permit that to happen. She said yes initially, but she also said she wanted to talk to me more in person first, but that we could hang out or start dating if that happened. For some reason, I was extremely disappointed by this response, and I just started to stop talking to her. Eventually, we didn't talk for a 6 month stretch of time.

    During the summer, I gained confidence by working on my body. I was now able to confidently approach girls. Due to this, I decided that it wouldn't hurt to give it another go, where I would actually talk to her in person more than over text, and see if the interest that she had before was still there. If not, I would just let it go. I talked to her and still saw some of the interest. Should I try again with my newfound confidence or would you count what she said to me as a rejection like I initially did?

    I feel like Iím really stupid for overthinking this, Iím sure thereís an obvious answer Iím just overthinking way too much. Someoneís elseís opinion would really help.

  2. #2
    Gold Member Gary Snyder's Avatar
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    She rejected you. You get one chance at love per person.

    No problem! There are plenty of other girls at school you would kiss if given the chance, right? So flirt with them and find one who really likes you.

    Nothing is going to happen unless they like you a lot.

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    Originally Posted by Gary Snyder
    She rejected you. You get one chance at love per person.

    No problem! There are plenty of other girls at school you would kiss if given the chance, right? So flirt with them and find one who really likes you.

    Nothing is going to happen unless they like you a lot.
    Also I forgot to add: I asked to ďhang outĒ not necessarily date and she said that she wants to but I have to talk to her in person a little more. I donít know if maybe itís because I donít want to believe it or not but, would this still be considered a rejection?

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    Platinum Member Scoe141's Avatar
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    I love your confidence. If you asked her via text, then I'd let it go. If you see her in person ask her directly. "Hey, I'd like to grab some coffee, ice cream etc. with you sometime."

    See her reaction. If she shows any hesitation, then leave it be. You know she's not interested. At the end of the day you don't want to force anyone to go out with you.

    Keep us posted.

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    Originally Posted by Scoe141
    I love your confidence. If you asked her via text, then I'd let it go. If you see her in person ask her directly. "Hey, I'd like to grab some coffee, ice cream etc. with you sometime."

    See her reaction. If she shows any hesitation, then leave it be. You know she's not interested. At the end of the day you don't want to force anyone to go out with you.

    Keep us posted.
    Thanks for the reply! And yeah, I asked her over text the first time. Iím going to slowly start talking to her more and Iíll keep you guys posted. When you say if I asked over text the first time to ďlet it go,Ē what do you exactly mean by that?

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    Platinum Member Rose Mosse's Avatar
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    I don't believe you ever really gave it much of a shot to begin with. If she's that interesting (and I'm sure you think she is), put more soul into it. You both will figure it out together whether it'll go anywhere.

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    Originally Posted by Rose Mosse
    I don't believe you ever really gave it much of a shot to begin with. If she's that interesting (and I'm sure you think she is), put more soul into it. You both will figure it out together whether it'll go anywhere.
    Yeah in hindsight it definitely looked like I just winged it to see if there was interest. I was pretty lacking in confidence so I didnít show interest that well, but I did definitely have a lot of feelings for her. Thanks for pointing that out, Iíll make it so that I put more heart into it.

  9. #8
    Platinum Member Rose Mosse's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by sarack
    Yeah in hindsight it definitely looked like I just winged it to see if there was interest. I was pretty lacking in confidence so I didnít show interest that well, but I did definitely have a lot of feelings for her. Thanks for pointing that out, Iíll make it so that I put more heart into it.
    That's all that matters: heart and soul. That's the first thing I noticed about my husband. That's the reason I left all my exes behind. It's how you make her feel when she's around you. Life is about a lot more than results or getting the girl. It's about how you dance through life with or without the girl and how much passion you have for all the big and little things. The right one will join you effortlessly and you'll both have fun in the process. Never take anything forgranted. Good luck!

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    Originally Posted by Rose Mosse
    That's all that matters: heart and soul. That's the first thing I noticed about my husband. That's the reason I left all my exes behind. It's how you make her feel when she's around you. Life is about a lot more than results or getting the girl. It's about how you dance through life with or without the girl and how much passion you have for all the big and little things. The right one will join you effortlessly and you'll both have fun in the process. Never take anything forgranted. Good luck!
    Thanks so much! I will keep that in mind.


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